Epilogue
Pip
Henny and I had been arguing about the coffee for several minutes when the elevator dinged.
The argument was about whether the coffee he made was objectively bad or whether I had, as Henny put it, the palate of a feral animal who has never once experienced anything nice.
I had counterpoints. Good ones. I was in the middle of delivering them when the baby cried.
Everything in my brain stopped.
I was around the kitchen island and into Pharrell’s entryway before I'd made a conscious decision about it.
Henny said something behind me—probably Pip, what are you doing—but I was already looking at the elevator doors and the two enormous men stepping out of them with a pink bundle strapped to one chest and a car seat in one hand.
Dante.
Preacher.
And a baby.
Ricardo lost his mind about it, which was fair. Rel laughed, as to be expected. He’d become a different man since falling for his new second-in-command. The boss was lighter all around.
It was like fucking night and day from when he was married. She drained the life out of him. Ricardo made him bloom.
Damn. Here I was being lyrical and shit.
Henny's jaw was on the floor, a surprising reaction since he tended to hide his emotions better. Clearly babies tripped him up. We all stood in the open space that was part living room part welcoming space.
I was looking at the tiny pink bundle on Dante's chest and a rush of unknown feelings hit me in the ribcage that I was going to need a minute with.
I did not have a minute.
Preacher unstrapped her from Dante with the ease of a man who had done it ten thousand times and held her against his chest, and she was very small and very pink and her face was doing the thing that babies' faces did when they were deciding whether to commit to crying, and without fully meaning to I was right there.
“Who is this precious little angel?” I said, keeping my voice soft as to not disturb her.
Preacher raised an eyebrow an eyebrow as I grabbed the bottle from him and went about mixing it up. The old habit from when I was in foster care came back with ease.
It had been so long since I’d held a baby. So long since I’d felt that protective urge rise up in me.
Dante, who’d been greeting Ricardo, turned to Rel with a smirk. “I thought he was your scary murder-for-hire guy?”
“He is. Apparently, he’s also into babies.”
There was some smack talk about Rel and Ricardo finding each other. It was mushy shit I had no desire to hear. They were happy. They were alive. Woohoo.
What I did care about was the cutie begging for me to hold her. Ok, so maybe she wasn’t begging. But I felt the urge deep in my soul.
Preacher chuckled as he moved away from me towards the others. “Let’s go sit. She’s a slow eater, and I’d rather get into a comfortable position.”
“You could have handed her to me. I don’t mind helping.” I shuffled behind the big guy and leaned around him. The way he’d turned cut off my view of the baby.
Henny, who finally managed to get ahold of his shock, pulled me to his side. The touch drew my attention like he intended.
“Stop hovering,” he bit out.
I did as he demanded. Not just because he was my Daddy, but because he was taking a step towards us being open and honest with everyone. We didn’t hide who we were. We also didn’t show any affection when at work together.
It was a balancing act—as Henny once said.
Taking a chance, I linked my fingers with his. If I thought he’d react ok, I’d have climbed him and planted a big, fat kiss on his lips.
Henny frowned, but I knew it wasn’t at me. He was still trying to sort out how these two suddenly had a kid without him knowing. My man hated being out of the loop.
The thought of it made me grin. I would have something to tease him about later. He was always cataloging shit on me. Finally, I’d have some ammo.
We all ended up in the living room.
Her name was Melody. They'd said it together, all happy and shit. Melody fussed at the sound of her own name. Kind of like a “Hell yeah, that’s me” sound.
I watched her eat as the men spoke about life, family, and business. None of it interested me. I knew Henny was taking it all in eagerly. He’d probably explain it to me later if I asked.
Not that I would.
Preacher had her tucked in the crook of his arm with the bottle angled correctly and his attention split between her and the conversation happening around him, and Dante kept glancing over every few seconds with this expression of a man who could not believe his luck and had not yet gotten used to it.
It felt like a bomb went off in my chest.
This was what I wanted. Not the baby, necessarily. Just the happy life. Mine would probably hold a bit more murder than these two, because I really fucking loved my job, but I could see a future where maybe Henny and I got domestic.
I became aware of how close we were sitting on the couch around that time. Our knees were touching; our bodies aligned in the way we only ever did in private.
As I watched Melody, Preacher took her bottle away and put her on his shoulder. He did the burp back pat combo like a good dad. Points to him.
The position he had her in meant her face was angled my way. Even though I knew she couldn’t really see me, I held her bouncing gaze.
Hi, I sent the thought her way, which was insane, I was not a man who thought things at infants. You have no idea what kind of people you're going to grow up around. We're going to be the worst influence you've ever met. You're going to love it.
Henny's knee pressed against mine, pulling me away from my staring. He didn’t face me. Not that he needed to. I knew he was here, knew he saw what I was doing, and probably even knew what I was thinking.
Thinking back on the last year, I was amazed at how much had changed. The man I wanted most was mine. He and I had a dynamic we both loved. And I still got to do some stabbing every now and then.
A great life indeed.
Eventually we all split up. Henny suggested we try to reach out to JJ while the new parents got Melody settled. I was reluctant to leave Pharrell’s place, but I knew there was more to what my man wanted.
The second we were back home – which wasn’t far considering how close we lived – he rounded on me. “What was all that?”
“All of what?”
He scowled. “You know what, Pip. I saw how obsessed you became over Melody. You cannot steal their baby! She isn’t a knife or a gun for you to collect.”
I froze for a second before laughing my ass off. He thought… thought I would… steal a baby??
“Whenever you’re done, I’d like to have a serious discussion.”
“Sorry,” I said, forcing myself to get it together. “It’s just, you can’t really think I would steal a baby. I don’t have the parenting gene. Uncle status is where I’d like to live. Favorite uncle if I can help it.”
Henny’s shoulders dropped. “So, you don’t want kids?”
“It’s not really been a goal of mine. Plus, you didn’t want any.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you said so like six or seven years ago. I wasn’t about to have any without you,” I shrugged, as if the connection were obvious.
Henny stared at me for a long moment before pulling me into a kiss. I melted against him, soaking up the attention.
When he pulled back, I had to blink a few times to focus. “What was that for?”
“You saw me. Even before we became us, you saw me and listened and prepared your life to include me.”
“Of course I did, Daddy. You were always going to be mine.”
Later, after some good old-fashioned fucking, we returned to Rel’s place to have dinner with the others. Henny had tried to call JJ to keep good on his word. There’d been no answer or word back. My man was really starting to worry.
JJ had been gone for months, and I had opinions about that which Henny and I had discussed at length. We never agreed on what JJ was doing. He clearly had extended his mission for some reason. The man should have been home by now.
I wondered if he was getting laid. Was his silence because he was getting his dick wet? That would be a fucking riot.
If the asshole didn’t show up soon, I’d go hunt him down.
Dinner turned into work talk, then it became a timeline of history between everyone. We spoke about how we met, when we worked together, and how it overlapped with other people’s shit.
If I didn’t like these guys so much, it would have been boring. I’d have shot them and been done with the small talk.
But this was my family. That meant nights like this would be a regular thing when we could make it happen. Especially since Rel and Ricardo were Melody’s godparents.
After dessert, I convinced Preacher to let me hold his little girl. When he placed her in my arms, I could literally feel myself calm.
"I've got her," I said when he still hovered.
Preacher looked at me with an expression I couldn't fully read. Then he sat back by Dante.
Melody settled immediately when I got her against my chest, face turned in, one tiny fist near her mouth. I put a hand on her back and felt her breathe. She made a small sound that felt like a declaration. This is acceptable. I am tolerating this.
"I like her," I announced.
"She likes you too.” That came from Dante.
"Obviously." I looked down at her. Her eyes were closing. "She has good instincts."
I followed Henny through the house the next morning. We’d been summoned for breakfast, so we were there before the sun and Satan could be up.
“Daddy,” I whined. “Where’s the food? You promised me bacon.”
Behind us, Preacher's voice called out before Henny could reply. "You know, you two can just say it."
"Say what?” I asked, turning to face him.
"That you're together." He said it like it was obvious. Like he was pointing out a dead body in a room full of killers.
Dante appeared beside him from the hallway. "I noticed at dinner last night."
"The coffee argument earlier," Ricardo added helpfully from the doorway behind us. Fucker had been listening in.
I looked at Henny. His jaw was doing the thing it did when he was trying to put together an answer. It was the look of pulling back instead of cussing someone out.
"We didn't think we needed to say anything," he said.
"Did you announce yours?" I added, not wanting him to face this group alone.
Preacher's mouth twitched.
Dante rolled his eyes. "Fair enough.”
Ricardo was already grinning. He looked between us, then at Rel who’d come up behind him, then back at us. "Wonder who's next," he said, mostly to himself, like he was genuinely curious.
Henny's phone rang. He looked down at the screen, then whipped his head up.
"It's Jean."
Want to know what Jean has to say for himself?