Chapter 6
Six
Ahmed: You can’t ignore Mom and Dad forever.
Rami: I’m not ignoring anyone.
Ahmed: They’re going to stage an intervention.
Rami: I’m not an addict. Those are for addicts.
Ahmed: You know what I mean.
Rami stared at his phone. He didn’t know what his brother meant. He knew what the word “intervention” meant, and he’d seen them on TV shows a couple of times, but he didn’t understand what, exactly, his parents would be intervening about.
He wasn’t an addict. He didn’t have any vices that were ruining his life. He wasn’t part of an organization that made him a danger to himself or others. They didn’t know what he was doing to earn money, so it couldn’t have anything to do with his channel.
Therefore, his brother’s words were confusing, and when he was confused, it was easier to put the subject away. He closed out the text thread and went back into the bathroom to stare at himself. Tugging on a couple of his curls, he debated whether or not it was time for a haircut. He had a routine with it—grow it until it was just past his shoulders, cut it until it sat just over his ears, and then grow it again.
Over and over, and he’d do it until he died. Or his hair fell out, though he had lucky genetics that very rarely led to male-pattern baldness. But it was officially reaching the stage of too long, and he was going to have to worry about finding a place that would do the job right.
The last time he’d had it cut, he wasn’t living in Norwich. He could head back to DC to have it done, but that was a long, long train ride. Although if Skye really was driving and they were something like friends, maybe he’d take him. It would be better if they were boyfriends, but Rami wasn’t going to push that line. Skye seemed perfectly content to date him, even with sex off the table, but Rami was no fool.
He knew how long that usually lasted, and it would be a miracle if they made it a month.
As he began to scrunch product into his curls, he felt his phone buzz against his leg three times in quick succession. He ignored it and grabbed a coiled hair tie, wrapping his long locks around his fist and setting it into the bun he preferred.
He was on the third loop of the hair tie when his phone buzzed again—the secondary notification to let him know he hadn’t read the messages. That was his trigger. He couldn’t ignore the second alert.
Pulling the phone out of his pocket, he saw his brother’s name on the screen. Then, there was a second little tab. He tapped it, and Skye’s name appeared. Rami felt himself smiling wide enough to make his cheeks hurt as he opened it.
Skye: On my way. Fair warning, I plan to kiss you when I see you.
Rami: Yes.
He didn’t really know what else to say to that. Sometimes he wished he could be suave and smooth instead of blunt and straightforward, but even when he was younger and better at masking, he’d never been good at thinking on his feet. The thoughts in his head came out of his mouth or his hands exactly as they were, no matter how hard he tried to be like other people.
But for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t worried how someone else was going to perceive him. He didn’t feel that slight tug of anxiety or stress because so far—in the two weeks and three days since he’d known Skye—the man had never once minded who Rami was.
In fact, he seemed to like him for it.
Rami had no idea how far Skye was from him, so he gave himself one last cursory glance in the mirror, then turned and went to his bedroom. He was already dressed. All he had left were his shoes and socks, and he was going full comfort since they’d be at the aquarium center.
On the edge of the bed, he made sure his socks were perfectly aligned, the seam directly across the knuckles of his toes. He wriggled his feet to make sure the seams wouldn’t shift, and then he shoved them into his slip-on sneakers and stood up.
He felt okay from head to toe. He’d managed to get most of the clay off his arms during his shower, and his long sleeves covered what was left, so he wouldn’t look like a total mess, which was something. He’d never look like a model, but he didn’t think that was the kind of man Skye was looking for.
Turning back and forth in the long mirror, he wasn’t sure if he was happy with what he saw, but he wasn’t unhappy. He was pretty sure Skye would enjoy him. Rami had looked a lot worse the day Skye had tumbled into his yard, though maybe that was just him being dazed.
Rami hadn’t taken this much care for the bar date either though, so he didn’t know why today mattered so much.
He was overthinking. “Ya yimma,” he muttered at himself. “He’s going to be just fine with you. Stop panicking.”
The doorbell rang and he jumped half a foot from the startling sound of it. He’d contemplated having the thing removed when he first moved in, but he was too nervous to make too many big changes to the house. He’d hated the chime as a kid—a big, heavy bong that seemed to shake him down to his bones. But now, even with the discomfort, it brought a little surge of sense memory and the smile it always brought to his grandfather’s face.
Hurrying down the hall, Rami came to a halt in front of the door, took a fortifying breath, then opened it. Skye was standing there, looking as nervous as Rami felt. His hands were twisting in front of him—not in signs, just anxiety. He shook them out, then stepped forward on the edge of a heavy inhale and put his hands on Rami’s hips.
“This okay?”
Rami’s gaze flickered to Skye’s ears to look for his hearing aids. They were in. He nodded, licked his lips, then said, “Kissing now?”
Skye laughed and eased Rami against the door, moving one hand to his cheek. His palm was so, so soft. Rami fought the urge to turn his face and nuzzle against it. Instead, he closed his eyes, parted his lips, and waited.
Skye didn’t keep him hanging for too long. He pressed their lips together exactly like he had that first time. It was a gentle, careful invitation for Rami to take what he was offering. And he did. He grabbed Skye by the front of his shirt, feeling the jersey-like fabric against his fingertips. He made a claw with his hands in the fabric, then surged closer and parted his lips.
Skye hummed with pleasure, his tongue pushing into Rami’s mouth. They went on and on, a careful dance of mouths and bodies until Rami realized he was very, very hard. He always wore pants that hid the fact that he had more than one bulge, but if both of his dicks got hard, Skye was going to notice.
And Rami was not ready to have that conversation with him yet. Soon, but not now.
“That’s enough,” Rami said, pulling back.
Skye nodded. He looked a little dazed, and his cheeks were flushed, but he didn’t push. He didn’t let go either. He stroked his thumb over Rami’s cheek, then trailed a touch back down to his waist. “That was nice.”
Rami’s smile returned. “It was.” Peering around Skye, his gaze fixed on the little sports car in the driveway. It was a convertible, but the top was up. “Is that your car?”
Skye nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t been able to drive it for a while. Do you have a license?”
“Yes. I can drive, but I don’t have a car right now, and I’m not always comfortable on the road. Are you asking because you might get dizzy?”
Skye chuckled. “Yes, sweetheart, I am.”
“I can do it in an emergency, but you’ll have to be very, very quiet if I have to get behind the wheel, okay?”
“Of course. I don’t think it’ll be a problem though. My new meds are working really well, and I’m having a really good ear day.” Skye took his hands before Rami could ask what an ear day was, and he pulled him over the threshold.
Rami stopped only to lock up, and then he followed Skye to the car and got in. The seats were very low to the ground, which Rami hated, but they were comfortable, which he liked. He wriggled until he was settled, then put his seat belt on as Skye turned the engine on.
It was a soft purr instead of a loud roar, which Rami very much appreciated.
“Please don’t put the top down,” Rami said.
Skye blinked, then quickly shook his head. “Oh, no, don’t worry. I never do that. I can’t hear at all if the wind is blowing like that.”
Rami’s brows furrowed, and he waited until they were on the main road to ask, “Why did you get a convertible, then?” He froze, wondering if his question was rude, but Skye just grinned.
“I got it before I learned I was going deaf. I’d already been diagnosed with Ménière’s, but that doesn’t always lead to hearing loss the way mine has. I always wanted to drive something cool.”
Rami wrinkled his nose. “Bugs in your face are cool?”
Skye laughed loudly. “Honey, that’s what the windshield is for.”
Rami wasn’t convinced, but it also wasn’t a hill he was willing to die on, so he let it go. Settling back against the seat, he let himself bask in how comfortable he was. Normally, car rides stressed him out. He’d spend the entire time worried about how safe it was, how aware the other driver was, and whether or not he’d survive depending on the place the car was hit.
But he didn’t want to be that way. Not right now. Not with how much he was enjoying Skye’s presence. Reaching over, Rami allowed himself to touch. He dragged a finger from Skye’s wrist to his elbow, feeling the soft fabric of his shirt.
“You like that?” Skye asked.
Rami jumped, startled by his date’s voice. “Oh. Um…”
“I don’t mind if you do. I picked this shirt out for you.”
Rami’s core heated. “Why?”
“Because on our date, I noticed you gravitated toward soft textures. You hated the bar napkins, but you really liked the ones the server brought over with the food. You touched my sweats, then my T-shirt, but you liked my pullover best. And you really liked the vinyl in Avan’s car.”
Rami knew that about himself, but most people never noticed, and when they did, they usually gave him a weird look and walked away. When he was little, his mother would allow him to run his hands all over clothing racks, and he never hesitated to crawl into someone’s lap when they had people over and play with the hems of shirts, and sweaters, and hijabs.
But the older he got, the more he was scolded for it. It took him a long, long while to understand why he wasn’t allowed to touch things as much as he wanted to, and restraining himself was like a physical discomfort. Eventually, his mom gave him her softest, light blue jersey hijab to keep with him. He could hold it against him and roll the ends in his fingers to soothe himself. He kept it until he was seventeen, like a security blanket.
People thought he was weird for it, but he didn’t mind that as much as he minded masking the stim, so he lived with the odd looks and rolled eyes.
“Did I say something wrong? Is that one of those things I wasn’t supposed to mention out loud?” Skye asked.
Rami shook his head and leaned his cheek against the side of the seat, allowing himself to fully indulge in touching Skye. He used the pads of all five fingers and ran them along his arm, over his shoulder, down his ribs, and across his stomach.
Skye let out a trembling breath and shifted in his seat. Rami knew what he was doing to Skye, and he felt a little bad for it, knowing that this date wouldn’t go beyond kissing, but Skye didn’t ask him to stop, so he didn’t.
“I did good, then?” Skye asked after another long pulse of silence.
Rami realized that Skye actually needed the confirmation that he was getting this right. It almost made him laugh. He was a man who was paid absurd amounts of money to seduce and fulfill the fantasies of rich strangers. The idea that he’d be not just coy but insecure and uncertain was like an oxymoron.
But Rami also understood that someone could play a role very well that didn’t come naturally to them.
“This is very nice. I like it a lot.”
Skye’s whole body relaxed. “Cool. And if there’s anything I ever do that you don’t like?—”
“I’d have a hard time keeping myself from letting you know. Usually, I just say whatever’s on my mind,” Rami told him.
“I’ll brace myself,” Skye answered with a grin.
“Oh. I won’t be mean.” Rami stopped and shook his head. “I’ll try really hard not to be mean. It’s not my intention. I just?—”
“I was joking,” Skye said with a wink. “Just be yourself.”
People said that a lot—just be yourself. They rarely meant it. They said it when they wanted to disarm someone, but Rami had only met a handful of people over the course of his life who said it and meant it without conditions attached. Be yourself…so long as it doesn’t make me uncomfortable.
But in that moment, he trusted Skye. He allowed himself to sink into a silence as his hands slowed, settling on rubbing gentle circles against the hem of Skye’s shirt. He could see the GPS directing Skye, though the volume was all the way down, and Rami watched the little blue dot on the screen ticking down the miles until the car began to slow.
“We’re here,” Skye said softly.
Rami sat up. He felt oddly rejuvenated, like he’d taken a long stress nap, though he hadn’t slept at all, and it had only been twenty minutes. But he supposed he’d needed that quiet time to unwind from the way he’d gotten himself anxious and worried about how the date was going to go.
How? How was Skye so good at this without even trying?
Rami said nothing as Skye pulled into the parking lot, and he used his phone to pay for the spot they took. After a beat, he looked over at Rami and licked his lips.
“Kiss me,” Rami said.
Skye blinked, then grinned and reached for him. He cradled Rami’s cheeks in a tender hold and guided their lips together. It wasn’t as deep as it had been in the house. A little tongue, but his cocks stayed soft behind the zipper of his jeans, and his toes remained uncurled. But it was nice. It was careful and easy and perfect.
“I like you a lot,” Rami said.
Skye knocked their foreheads together. “I like you too.” He pulled back slowly, then reached for the door, so Rami followed and didn’t pull away when Skye reached for his hand.
Their fingers slotted together comfortably. Skye’s hands weren’t large enough to make Rami’s fingers feel overly stretched, and he kept a tight enough hold on him that it wasn’t uncomfortable but loose enough that he didn’t feel suffocated. And when Skye rubbed his thumb over Rami’s, it was a gentle motion that soothed instead of irritated.
Rami murmured to himself, “You were made for me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” Skye said.
Rami looked up with wide eyes, cheeks heating. “I didn’t mean to say that aloud. I just…I, um. I said?—”
“It’s okay,” Skye told him quickly. “You don’t have to repeat yourself.”
Rami tugged him to a stop. “Ahmed hates when that happens.”
Skye frowned. “Can you say that again?”
‘AHMED,’ Rami spelled on his hand. “My brother. When people talk and he can’t follow, and then they tell him never mind. He doesn’t ever push the issue, but I know it hurts him when he’s left out.”
Skye shook his head and stepped in close. “If I was a hearing person, would you have meant for me to hear what you said?”
Rami swallowed thickly. “Uh. Well…no.”
“Then you’re treating me like you’d treat everyone else, and that’s what matters.”
“I really want to kiss you again, but it makes me uncomfortable to do it where people can see.” He felt like a giant hypocrite for saying that, considering all things, but he had a feeling even if Skye knew what he was doing to earn money, he would have respected that boundary.
“I’ll give you plenty later when we’re alone to make up for it,” Skye murmured. He squeezed Rami’s hand once more, then turned and tugged him toward the ticket taker so they could finally, without reservation, start their date.
It was somewhere around the giant aquarium that stretched from floor to ceiling that Rami felt something cracking in his chest. It was like a dam was holding back his feelings, and every exhibit—every moment he saw Skye’s eyes light up at the animals behind the glass—made the cracks deeper and wider.
“Skye!” He immediately flushed. He hadn’t meant to shout in such a quiet space. Skye turned away from where he was making faces at a three-flippered sea turtle and grinned.
“Yeah, honey?”
Rami took a step closer and reached for him. “Habibi.” He’d never called anyone except his baby cousins that before. It felt strange on his tongue.
Skye frowned. ‘Repeat?’ he asked in sign.
Rami signed precious. Then sweetheart. Then he spelled it. “Habibi,” he repeated aloud. “It’s?—”
“Oh, I know it. Avan’s mom calls me that. Isn’t it platonic?”
“Not always. It’s more…generic,” Rami said, shrugging. “But it’s also important.”
Skye’s body swayed into his. There was no one around, but he was still being careful, and Rami fell even harder for that alone. He closed his eyes, and while he didn’t kiss Skye, he pushed his face into the crook of his neck and breathed in his soft, subtle, gorgeous scent.
“Are you getting tired of being here?” Skye asked him.
Rami pulled back so Skye could see his mouth. “No, but I want to be more intimate with you, and I really don’t want to do that here.”
Skye bit his lip, then reached out and cupped Rami’s cheek. “We could go to my place.”
Rami felt hot all over. “I want to. Where do you live?”
“The Tower,” Skye said.
Rami stiffened. “Oh. I can’t…I’m sorry. I can’t go there. Not with other people in there. I don’t mind your job, I swear, but?—”
“Sweetheart,” Skye said, grabbing Rami’s hand and kissing his knuckles. “I don’t live in the Tower. We all have houses on the property. You won’t see a single other person if you don’t want to.”
Rami felt his heart begin to settle and slow. “Oh. Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t…I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed.”
Skye chuckled and tugged Rami into his arms, squeezing him exactly as tight as he needed right then. “I don’t blame you for wanting to stay distant from it. Some of the other Sins have met their lovers when they were clients, but some of them have partners who are far removed from what we do. It’s okay to feel any way about it so long as you don’t ask me to give it up.”
“No,” Rami breathed out in a rush. “No. No. I kind of…” His ears heated. “I kind of like it.”
Skye’s grin widened. “Let’s get out of here before I burst through my jeans. You’re hot enough as it is, and talking about this…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Come on, we’ll grab lunch on the way, and I can give you a tour of my little house, and we can picnic on the floor before we make out until the sun sets.”
It sounded unrealistic and absolutely ridiculous.
But also like the best thing Rami had ever been offered.
“Let’s go,” he said and picked up his pace toward the exit, leaving Skye to trail after him, laughing his ass off all the way.