Chapter 11
Eleven
Biting his lip, Skye scanned the shelves, and he wished for a moment that Rami was there with him to pick this out. But he also had a feeling Rami wouldn’t have been into it. It was very likely he would have been overwhelmed by the selection—because there were so fucking many.
Skye had never been someone to frequent sex shops. They had pretty much every toy a person could think of on hand at the Tower, and it had never really been his thing. Not for him, anyway. He certainly didn’t mind using them on a partner.
But considering he hadn’t had one of those in a long—long—while, it hadn’t really come up in this capacity.
“Are you still looking?”
Skye glanced over at Flint, who was staring at him, hands on his hips, brows high on his forehead. His voice was very audible over the low music and the fact that there was no one else in the store, which Skye appreciated. But it also meant that the two of them had become the sole focus of the man sitting behind the counter.
Not that he seemed like a bad guy. He’d given them both a quiet wave when they entered, and then he’d gone back to his very large book. He didn’t look like a guy who would be working at a sex shop, but Skye also knew he was stereotyping, and that was wrong.
He’d been a frat boy once. He didn’t look like the kind of guy who was going to graduate and then become a Seven Deadly Sin–themed escort, so…
“Can you not rush me?” Skye asked, turning back to the shelf.
“I’m not trying to, but you know I fuckin’ hate shopping, and the fact that my brother dropped this on my lap is bullshit.” Flint had been tasked with placing a bulk order of replacement items for the Tower. Skye had been hoping it was going to take longer than two minutes.
“Why don’t you go find a coffee or something up the street. I want to take my time with this.”
“You think you’re going to get it wrong?” Flint asked, humor in his voice. When Skye looked at him, his smirk fell. “Oh, shit. You do think you’re going to get it wrong.”
‘I get everything wrong,’ Skye signed slowly.
It took Flint a second to understand what he was saying, but he stepped closer, closing the distance between them, and took Skye into a soft embrace. “Don’t overthink it. I haven’t met this guy, and I wouldn’t have known you were seeing someone if Hen hadn’t done his little PSA about the guy’s FanCore channel,” he added, and Skye knew he was hurt by that, “but if he’s got you this flustered, then I’m willing to bet he’s not the kind of guy who cares what it is. Just that it’s come from you.”
That might have been true for literally anything else, but Skye wasn’t in the position to tell Flint why this purchase was important. It wasn’t just the type of toy. It was also that it was Rami’s first. It was the first time he’d be putting something inside of himself and getting off like that.
And Skye was now a part of that. He wanted it to be good.
“I just need a little more time,” Skye said very softly.
Flint nodded and kissed his temple. “I’ll go grab us both drinks. I’ll even sit down and answer a few emails. Sound fair?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” Skye offered a weak smile, and Flint rolled his eyes with a grin, shaking his head before he let Skye go and headed out.
Skye couldn’t hear the bell, but he could feel the slight pressure change when the door opened and shut, and it was only after he was sure Flint was gone that he turned back to the shelf and began to peruse.
He was now overwhelmed with choice. He wished he’d paid better attention to his clients over the years to see what some of them liked best. There might have been a damn consensus, and he’d missed it because he’d been too focused on other things.
“Shit,” he whispered to himself.
“Hey there.”
Skye almost jumped out of his skin, turning to see the guy from behind the counter. He was startled to see he was a wheelchair user, but that only lasted a second. He was very used to seeing Stone jet around on his.
“Christ, you scared the crap out of me.”
The guy let out a soft laugh as his hands squeezed over his wheels. “Sorry. I tend to creep up on people. My chair’s really quiet.”
“And I’m deaf,” Skye said, tapping his hearing aids, “so I suck at noticing anyway.”
The guy’s grin got wider, and he offered his hand. “I’m Pierce. I run this place.”
“Literally?”
“Literally. I own it. As a matter of fact, I have full ownership as of two days ago when my divorce papers were signed.” Pierce’s jaw snapped shut, and he ran all ten fingers through his short, dark hair. “Sorry, way too much information.”
“It’s cool. Sometimes shit’s hard, and you need to tell a stranger who isn’t invested, right?”
Pierce’s face softened. “You get it.”
“I do. And I’m Skye,” he said when Pierce offered his hand again. “The man having an existential crisis over anal toys in your very neatly put-together aisle.”
Pierce’s grin widened. “Can I help?”
“I don’t know,” he confessed. “I’m buying this for a friend.”
“Oh. For a friend ,” the guy said.
Skye flushed and laughed. “Not like that. I mean literally for a friend. He’s never used anything like this before, and he’s never done any kind of anal play. I want something that won’t take too much adjusting to.”
“Hmm.” Pierce rocked his chair back a little, and his eyes scanned the shelf. “Are we talking plug, beads, probes, vibes? Dildo?”
That was the problem. Too many options, and Rami hadn’t given him any stipulations. He won the bid, so the choice was his. He swallowed heavily, trying not to think about the fact that sometime after Friday, Rami would use it. And if it was good, it would be thanks to Skye.
But if it was bad…it would be all Skye’s fault.
“You look panicked. Is this a friend friend or a sex friend?”
“Both,” Skye said and signed at the same time. “It’s a new thing. No labels yet.”
“Got it. So this is potentially a huge deal.” Pierce rocked back again, then grabbed his wheels and paced up and down in front of the next rack over. “Will you be participating in this play?”
Skye bit his lip and shrugged. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not the first time on camera, but after…there was a good chance. “I hope so.”
Pierce nodded, and then he pushed his chair to the wall, picked up a long stick with big pincers like a claw machine, and grabbed a box from a shelf even Skye would have struggled to reach on his tiptoes.
It fell into Pierce’s lap with a dull thud, and he put the stick back before wheeling to Skye’s side. “I’ve found that the first time you go there, something more realistic tends to feel best.”
Skye took the box from the shop owner and turned it in his hands. The box was discreet, but the description said it was a soft, hyper-realistic silicone dildo. “Can I look?”
“Go nuts,” Pierce said. “But if you tear the plastic, you buy it.”
Skye laughed as he pried the top off. “Noted.” Beneath the cover, nestled in what looked like black velvet, was a surprisingly small, thin dildo with a suction cup at the base. It was peach-flesh colored, a little veiny, with a thick foreskin beneath the molded head.
It looked nothing like his own dick, which was fatter, longer, and pierced, but it wasn’t bad.
“Decent star rating?” Skye asked as he replaced the box top.
“My hus—my ex,” Pierce corrected quickly, “loved it. Even after being together for years, it was his favorite. I don’t want to get too TMI with a total stranger?—”
“Go for it. Trust me when I say I’m surrounded by sex talk more than I’m not,” Skye said without giving himself away.
Pierce smiled almost sadly. “I was injured during our engagement party. I was standing on a table giving my speech when some jackass pushed me off toward the pool. I hit the deck instead of the water first.”
“Shit,” Skye whispered.
“Yeah. The rescue efforts to get me out of the pool pretty much sealed the deal with my spine. It was a huge blow when we were told that without a literal miracle from God, I wasn’t going to get feeling back below here.” He set his hand just above his belly button. “I thought things were going to fall apart, but in the end, we were able to get really creative. Half the products in here were designed by him.”
Skye suddenly felt all wrong taking this toy.
Pierce seemed to notice because he quickly shook his head, chuckling. “They’re not modeled after our dicks or anything like that. My ex is a lot of things—a jackass, a cheater, a self-centered mama’s boy who can’t say no to anyone except me”—the bitterness was thick in his voice—“but he was also a design genius. But of everything we ever used, we always had one of these in the nightstand.”
Skye ran his thumbs over the box. It was obvious Pierce was carrying more pain than any man should, so if he was recommending this to Skye, it was probably worth it. “It’s good for solo and partner play?”
Pierce nodded. “He could use the suction cup on my chair and ride it and me. And it also fits comfortably in a belt if you want a more realistic fuck.”
There were no bells and whistles. No movement. No vibrations. No fancy colors or weird shapes. It was just…a mostly hard, average-sized dick. And Skye realized then it was perfect.
“I’ll take it.”
“I doubt you’ll regret it,” Pierce said, jerking his chin toward the register before gripping his wheels and giving himself a hard push. “Is there anything else you want to grab before you check out?”
He thought about it for a quick second, but he hadn’t been given permission to get anything else, and he didn’t want to push it with Rami. “I think this is a good start. Flint already placed his order, so?—”
“Oh shit, wait,” Pierce said, spinning his chair once he was behind the counter. “You two were together?”
Skye frowned. “Uh, yeah. Why? Did he say something rude? He’s a nice guy. He just kind of comes off like a murder suspect sometimes.”
Pierce burst into laughter as he took the box from Skye. “No. He and his brother have been clients of the shop for years. I’ve just never met any of the other—y’all call yourselves Sins, right?”
Skye’s cheeks pinked, and he ducked his head as he nodded. “Yeah.”
“Sorry—” But Pierce’s next words were spoken too softly for Skye to catch them.
“Missed what you said.”
Pierce cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. My mouth runs ahead of my brain sometimes, and?—”
“No, no. You didn’t. You’ve been amazing,” Skye told him. “I, uh…I’m not the biggest fan of being recognized for what I do. My job is great, but people are…well. Not.”
“I get that,” Pierce said, all humor gone from his tone.
It wasn’t a surprise that he did. Norwich might have legalized sex work, but the residents had turned it into their main topic to vote on every four years. Luckily, most of the wealthy citizens didn’t want to lose access to their secret habits, so the laws never passed. But it always left Skye and the others on edge whenever another voting year was upon them.
“There’s a reason my ex and I never bothered to live in the city limits,” Pierce said softly as he took Skye’s card and swiped it. He handed it back and put the box in an opaque purple bag with a bow printed on the front. “It’s not worth the bullshit and the judgment.”
Skye nodded and clutched the bag tightly in his hand. “I appreciate you. Do you, ah…are you a client, or…?”
Pierce’s cheeks flushed. “Stone’s been offering me a friends discount for years, but it wasn’t something my ex was into. I never thought—” He stopped and bit his lip. “I might check it out. I probably won’t choose you though—no offense.”
Skye burst into laughter. “Nah. Once you see how the sausage fits in its everyday casing, it’s not as sexy.”
Pierce groaned at the bad joke, but he was grinning. “Maybe I’ll see you around though?”
“I’d definitely like that. And thanks again for this.” He gave the bag a pat.
“If it’s a miss, come back, and I’ll hook you up with something else. Friends discount goes both ways.”
Skye felt warmth in his stomach, and on a whim, he reached into his wallet and pulled out one of his cards. Snagging a pen from the side of the register, he scribbled his number on the back. “If you ever want a friendly, mostly deaf ear for some trauma dumping, I’d be happy to get coffee sometime.”
“Yeah?” Pierce looked unsure, but Skye nodded firmly.
“Definitely. I know how hard it is out here doing the kind of stuff we do. There are good eggs, but they’re surrounded by a lot of rotten.”
“You’re a good dude. I hope you and your friend work out.”
Skye felt a rush of something—yearning, maybe—and he held on to it. “I do too. Thanks again, and maybe we’ll talk soon.”
“You opened this floodgate, man. Enjoy my texts,” Pierce warned, waving the card.
A small part of Skye said that he should be worried, but a bigger part of him had a feeling that Pierce was going to be important in the future. And considering he didn’t make friends easily, he tended to cling on to people when he found them.
He was lighter in his steps and in his chest as he left the shop, and there really was renewed hope settling on his shoulders as he left to find Flint.
Not only had Skye not been given any instructions on what to buy, but he also hadn’t been given any instructions on how to deliver the gift. The chat in the live said he would receive an email, but that hadn’t happened apart from his bid receipt. He’d gotten the video chat, but Rami hadn’t mentioned it on there, nor had he said anything over text.
So, Skye showed up with the box wrapped tightly in the plastic bag, tucked under his arm, and his heart in his throat. He’d taken his hearing aids out—something he had a feeling would become a habit since he could exist in Rami’s space without having to struggle with hearing or the fatigue that came with his brain trying to understand fading sounds around him.
Rami was slowly, bit by bit, becoming more of a safe space for him, and he wasn’t sure what to do with that. Mostly because if he lost it, it would be gutting. He wasn’t really a catastrophizer by nature, but he also hadn’t really had this much to lose before.
He shifted from one foot to the other before knocking on the door, and then he waited with his breath tight in his chest. Long moments went by, and he fought the urge to turn and leave. He didn’t want to look like a fool, standing out there for long minutes like some chump who didn’t get the message.
But he also knew that was his intrusive thoughts talking. Rami had texted him forty-five minutes ago, saying he couldn’t wait to see him. Maybe he needed to ring the bell.
His finger was just reaching when the door flew open, and Rami grabbed him by the wrist. “No!” He was able to make out Rami’s voice through the fog of not wearing his hearing aids. Skye’s brows flew up as Rami quickly let him go and took a step back. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ he signed with a frantic fist. His hands flew through the rest of the signs so quickly Skye couldn’t keep up.
“Hey,” he said, holding up his palms.
Rami’s own hands stilled.
‘I can’t follow that fast.’
Rami’s cheeks darkened. ‘The doorbell. I hate it. I hate it.’ He signed it twice with emphasis on his face. ‘I was in my art room and tripped over one of my buckets.’
It was then Skye noticed that Rami had a small gash just above his left temple, heading into his hairline. “You’re bleeding,” he said aloud.
Rami slapped his hand to his cut. “Oh.”
Skye quickly hustled him inside, dropping the bag on the foyer table. “Where’s your first aid kit?”
It was dark, so if Rami spoke or signed, Skye didn’t catch it, but it didn’t matter. He led the way down the dimly lit hallway, through a set of heavy french doors that opened to a tidy bedroom that Skye immediately recognized from the live, and then into the en suite bathroom.
The lights were soft yellow and not too bright, which was kind on his eyes, and Skye took a breath before guiding Rami to the toilet. “First aid?”
‘Under,’ Rami signed, then pointed to the sink.
Skye dropped to his knees and found the first aid kit. Some of the stuff looked very out of date, but he managed to get a couple of gauze pads, some antiseptic wipes, and a bandage.
Rami looked a little sheepish as he sat there, so Skye set the stuff on the edge of the sink, then cradled his cheeks and leaned in. “Kiss?” he murmured softly.
Rami nodded, and Skye closed the distance between them. He kept it light but hoped that Rami could still feel how happy Skye was to see him again.
“Better?” he asked when he pulled away.
Rami smiled. ‘Yes,’ he signed. ‘Thank you.’
Skye kissed him one last time before getting to work, and within a couple of minutes, his wound was dressed, and all the bandage wrappers were discarded in the bin. Silence settled between them, and Skye realized how awkward the moment had been.
‘I didn’t mean to force you,’ he signed slowly.
Rami’s eyes widened. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘I dragged you in here,’ Skye clarified. ‘I didn’t even say hello.’
Rami blinked, and then he burst into laughter and leaned forward until Skye was forced to take him into his arms. He didn’t say anything, didn’t sign anything. He just rested there in Skye’s embrace for a long, long moment.
When he finally pulled back, he stood and offered his hands to Skye, who heaved himself up off the ground. ‘I cooked you dinner.’
That wasn’t what Skye was expecting, but he was grateful for something that felt a little normal. He let Rami take him by the hand, leading him through parts of the house he hadn’t seen yet. They passed a little archway that opened up to a kitchen with the same yellow lights.
“It’s nice in here,” Skye said aloud.
Rami turned his head, frowning. ‘Don’t understand.’
“The lights.” Skye gestured upward. “It’s not like most kitchens.”
‘That-that,’ Rami signed. ‘When I was little, I had a hard time with bright lights. They hurt my head. My grandfather installed these so I didn’t get headaches when I stayed with him.’
It took a lot of context for Skye to understand what Rami was saying, and he felt a surge of frustration because he wanted to be better at this. He knew every time he gave up and put his hearing aids on, it was only going to take him longer in his fluency, but tonight, he wanted to understand all of it.
He needed to understand all of it.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his hearing aid case, stopping only when Rami grabbed his wrist and squeezed.
‘I can sign slower.’
Skye smiled and shook his head. “It won’t help. I never use it at home, so it’s not sticking, and I want to understand everything you say to me right now. I want to know you.”
Rami bit his lip, then nodded. ‘I understand. Put them on. We can practice later.’
Skye did, and while he didn’t enjoy the way his head flooded with noise after an already long day, being able to hear Rami’s voice more clearly soothed that ache. “Say something.”
“Hi,” Rami said.
Skye laughed and tugged him close. “I don’t mind being deaf. People never believe me when I say that. But I do enjoy your voice a lot.”
Rami hummed softly and pushed up onto his toes to steal a kiss. “I like yours. And I like your hands when you sign. I like everything about you.”
Skye closed his eyes and basked in those words before letting him go. “Can I help set the table?”
Rami shook his head. “It’s set. I don’t know if you’re going to like what I made. I’m only good at cooking Lebanese food. Well, I can cook eggs pretty well. I really like breakfast eggs. But we didn’t eat anything else growing up, and I thought it was normal until I moved out. I’m sorry if you think it’s weird.”
Skye grabbed Rami by the waist and tugged him away from the counter. “I like all kinds of food. I’m really excited to try yours.”
“You’re not lying to me,” Rami said. It wasn’t a question.
Skye shook his head. “No. This is part of you. I want to know it.”
Rami licked his lips, then gestured for Skye to take a seat at the table, and he did. There were plates and serving spoons but no utensils. There was a plate of bread—large rounds, thicker than pita, and covered in a very strong, fragrant layer of herbs.
His mouth watered.
“My friends call it finger foods,” Rami said as he set three dishes down on the table. “It made sense to me because we don’t have to use forks.” He settled in the chair beside Skye and began to dish out portions without explaining what they were.
Skye supposed he could ask, but he found it easier to just copy what Rami was doing. He tore the bread, swiping it through something that looked like ricotta cheese covered in olive oil, but it definitely didn’t taste like it. It had a tang of yogurt to it, sitting heavy on the sides of his tongue. With the bread, it was amazing.
He recognized hummus, and there were slices of pickled lemon on his plate, along with spicy and very fragrant meatballs, which he began to devour after his first bite. He caught Rami watching him, his smile growing every time Skye swallowed down a mouthful.
“You like it?”
“Love it,” Skye said. His nerves made him full quicker than usual, and he sat back in his chair, watching Rami finish off his plate. The only thing that was a bit much was the lemons, but it brought him almost irrational joy watching Rami devour them like they were candy. I could love you , he thought to himself. I could do this every day and every night if you let me .
He kept those words to himself. It was far too soon.
Instead, he said, “I brought the toy.”
Rami choked on a bit of bread and hummus, and he gulped down water and wiped his fingers on his napkin before he turned to face Skye. “Oh?”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt that out in the middle of dinner. It just, uh…felt like there was no good time, and I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do.”
Rami licked his lips and pushed his plate toward the center of the table. “I don’t have a live tonight.”
“Yeah, I know.” Skye bit his lip, then said what he’d been worried about all afternoon. “I wanted to bring it over early because…what if you hate it?”
Rami blinked at him. “You chose it. I won’t hate it.”
“What if you don’t get enjoyment out of being penetrated,” Skye clarified. “What if it’s too much? Or it hurts? I don’t want to ruin the video for you.”
Rami’s brows furrowed, and then he nodded. “I understand. But it’s the same risk with anything. My viewers are paying to see my honest reactions. Some of them are…different. I think they might like it if it doesn’t feel good.”
Skye felt something twist in his chest. He never shamed kinks. Ever. And he probably wouldn’t have cared if people were getting off on that sort of thing if it wasn’t Rami on the other side of the camera. He took in a shaking breath and let it out.
“I won’t tell you how to run your show. But…” He hesitated, then said, “Could I be there when you do it? I won’t be on film or anything. But I’d like to be with you after. In case it’s too much.”
Rami’s eyes went bright. “Oh. You’d…want that?”
“Yes, but I will fully accept if you say no. I swear,” Skye said. “I won’t stand in your way.”
Rami shook his head, then cleared his throat loudly. “Yes. I want that. I really want that.”
Skye couldn’t help himself—he gripped Rami around the back of the neck and urged him into a kiss. “Okay. And before your next live, can we do other things together?”
“Yes,” Rami said. “Tonight. Can you stay with me?”
Skye went hot all over, his dick thickening behind his jeans. He shifted in his chair and picked up Rami’s hands, kissing over both knuckles. “If you want me.”
“I want you,” Rami said, almost too fast.
Skye grinned and leaned in again. “Then I’m all yours.”