Chapter 49
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
AVA
The morning after Ethan, I found myself standing outside the library door, my heart pounding against my ribs. Three bonds now hummed in my chest, Mason's steady presence, Caleb's warm devotion, Ethan's fierce love, but there was still one thread missing. One connection left to complete.
Leo.
Of all the brothers, Leo was the one I'd been most uncertain about.
The charming one. The one with the silver tongue and the easy smile.
The one who could make me laugh even when I wanted to cry, who could spin words into poetry and make the whole world feel lighter.
I'd seen beneath that charm. I'd seen the darkness that lurked behind his easy grin, the pain he hid with jokes and flirtation.
And I knew — I knew — that my running had cut him deeper than he'd ever admit.
I raised my hand to knock, but before my knuckles could touch the wood, his voice came through the door.
"Come in, Red" His voice was muffled through the wood, lacking its usual teasing lilt. There was something heavy in those words, something that made my stomach clench with anticipation and dread.
I pushed the door open and stepped inside.
My eyes went immediately to Leo, who was sprawled in an armchair by the fire, a book open in his lap.
He didn't look up when I entered. Just kept his eyes on the page, his golden hair catching the firelight, his jaw tight with something that looked nothing like his usual easy charm.
"Sit," he said, gesturing to the chair across from him without looking up from the page, his golden hair falling across his forehead, the firelight casting shadows across his sharp cheekbones.
His voice was flat, stripped of all the playful warmth I'd grown accustomed to, and the absence of it felt like a physical ache in my chest. "We need to talk. "
I sat, my hands folded in my lap, my heart racing.
The silence stretched between us, heavy and uncomfortable, broken only by the crackle of the fire.
Finally, Leo closed his book and looked at me.
The expression in his blue eyes made my breath catch.
He wasn't smiling. There was no hint of his usual mischief, no sparkle of charm.
Just raw, unguarded pain that he wasn't even trying to hide.
"Do you know what I do when I'm hurting?
" he asked, his voice quiet but carrying an intensity that made the hair on my arms stand up.
His blue eyes held mine, unblinking, none of his usual sparkle present, just raw, unfiltered pain that made my heart clench.
"When things get too hard and I don't know how to cope? "
I shook my head, not trusting my voice.
"I use words." He set the book aside with careful precision, as if he needed something to do with his hands, and leaned forward, his elbows braced on his knees, his long fingers laced together.
The firelight danced across his features, illuminating the tension in his jaw, the tightness around his eyes.
"I write. I read. I lose myself in stories and poetry and the beauty of language.
Words have always been my escape, my comfort, my way of making sense of a world that doesn't always make sense. "
He paused, his jaw tightening.
"But when you ran, Ava, when I thought I'd lost you, words failed me for the first time in my life.
" His voice cracked on the last word, splintering like thin ice, and he had to stop.
His hands clenched into fists on his thighs, the knuckles going white, and I watched his throat work as he swallowed hard, fighting for control.
"I sat in this library for hours, surrounded by thousands of books, and I couldn't read a single one.
I couldn't write. I couldn't even think.
All I could do was sit here and feel you slipping away through the bond, and there were no words, no words in any language, that could fix it. "
Tears streamed down my face as I listened. I'd known my running had hurt them all, but hearing Leo, charming, laughing, never-serious Leo, talk about his pain with such raw honesty broke something in me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, the words feeling wholly inadequate for the magnitude of what I'd done.
My voice trembled, tears already tracking down my cheeks as I watched the man who always had the perfect quip, the clever comeback, the charming deflection, sit before me stripped of all his armor. "Leo, I'm so sorry—"
"I know you are." He stood abruptly, the movement sharp and restless, and moved to the window with long strides that ate up the distance.
He pressed one hand against the glass, his back to me, his shoulders a rigid line of tension beneath his shirt.
The firelight caught the gold in his hair, but there was nothing warm about his posture, he was a man barely holding himself together.
"But sorry isn't enough. Not this time. I need more than apologies, Avalon.
I need you to understand, really understand, what words mean to me. And what it meant to lose them."
He turned to face me, and there was something fierce in his expression now, something that made my Omega sit up and take notice.
"My punishment isn't pain," he said, his voice dropping to something low and intense that made heat pool in my belly despite the gravity of the moment.
His blue eyes blazed with an intensity I'd never seen from him before, not the playful heat of flirtation, but something deeper, something primal.
"It isn't control or devotion or knowledge.
It's words. You're going to give me words, Ava.
You're going to tell me, out loud, in detail, exactly how you feel about me.
About us. About what you almost threw away. "
He moved closer with each sentence, stopping directly in front of my chair, towering over me, his presence overwhelming. I had to tilt my head back to meet his gaze, and the position made me feel small, vulnerable, completely at his mercy. "And you're not going to stop talking until I believe you."
My breath caught in my throat. "Leo—"
"Every thought," he continued, his blue eyes burning into mine with an intensity that made it hard to breathe.
He was so close I could smell him, that intoxicating blend of cedar and sunshine and something uniquely Leo that made my Omega purr with recognition.
"Every feeling. Every fear and hope and desire.
You're going to put them into words for me, because that's what I need.
That's how I understand. That's how I heal. "
He reached down and took my hands, his fingers warm and strong as they wrapped around mine, pulling me to my feet so we were standing face to face. This close, I could see the slight tremor in his jaw, the vulnerability he was trying so hard to hide beneath the commanding words.
"Can you do that for me, Red?" His voice was softer now, cracking around the edges, the nickname he'd given me carrying a weight it never had before. His thumb traced circles on the back of my hand, a gentle counterpoint to the intensity of his gaze. "Can you give me your words?"
"Yes," I whispered, my heart pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it.
My voice came out breathless, reverent, a promise wrapped in a single syllable.
"Yes, Leo. Whatever you need. I'll tell you everything.
" Something flickered in his eyes, hope, maybe, or relief.
He led me to a chaise lounge by the fire, pulling me down beside him so we were facing each other, our knees touching.
"Start from the beginning," he said, settling back against the arm of the chaise, his body angled toward mine, his blue eyes fixed on my face with an intensity that made me feel like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
The firelight played across his features, softening the sharp lines of his jaw, the aristocratic slope of his nose.
"Tell me how you feel about me. And don't hold anything back. "
I took a deep breath, searching for the right words.
"When I first met you," I began, my voice shaking, "I thought you were just..
. charming. Easy. The kind of man who flirts with everyone and means nothing by it.
" I saw him flinch slightly, and I reached out to take his hand.
"Then I started to see beneath that. The way you use humor to deflect when things get too real.
The way you light up a room just by walking into it.
The way you can make anyone feel special, feel seen, feel important. "
I squeezed his hand, willing him to understand.
"I realized that the charm isn't fake, it's just armor. You use it to protect yourself, to keep people at a distance, because somewhere along the way you learned that letting people in means getting hurt." His breath caught, and I saw tears gathering in his eyes.
"I love you, Leo," I said, the words coming easier now, flowing out of me like water finally released from a dam.
I watched his face as I spoke, watched the way his eyes widened slightly, the way his breath caught, the way hope flickered to life in those beautiful blue depths.
"Not despite the charm, but because of it.
Because underneath all those jokes and smiles is the kindest, most caring man I've ever known.
You make me laugh when I want to cry. You make me feel beautiful when I feel broken.
You see me, the real me, and you love me anyway. "
A tear tracked down his cheek, a single silver line that caught the firelight, and I reached up to brush it away with my thumb. His skin was warm beneath my touch, and he leaned into my palm like a man starving for contact.