Chapter 39 #3
“You’ve made your choice, Sterling. It’s clear your mouth and your heart are in two different places. And I won’t be the one to hold you back.” Zeke nods towards the closed door, a silent command for me to go.
“Why must it be a choice, Zeke?” I hate how desperate my voice sounds, how weak and pathetic I am as I beg for him to give me what I want.
He shakes his head slowly. “I want nothing to do with your High Quarter whore. And I’ve said my piece about why you should keep your distance. But you refuse to listen. So if she is what you want, I won’t stand in the way. But I won’t join you, either.”
“Ezekiel,” I whisper. But he’s backing away now, reaching out behind him to lift the curtain and disappear towards the exit.
“Go.” And I know it’s not a request. He’s ordering me to go after her, to indulge with them tonight, instead of him.
Not as a gift, but as a punishment for hurting him.
And my heart breaks into a million pieces as I see the pain of rejection in his icy blue eyes.
He must notice that I see it, because he slips his veil back in place from where it’s still perched atop his hair.
I shake my head. “No, Zeke. Please. Stay with me. You and me, tonight. No one else. Please.”
I let a fraction of my power slip through the air, surrounding him. So that I’m not just in front of him, but everywhere around him all at once. His grip on the curtain tightens and for a moment I fear he’s going to rip the whole thing down, that rage within him bubbling so close to the surface.
“Stop.” One word, one command. And it’s all it takes to put me in my place.
My power snaps back, my shoulders slumping forward as tears threaten to spill past my lashes.
“Go be with your whore, Sterling. I am no longer an option for you tonight.” He takes another step backwards, disappearing deeper into the shadows.
“And when this inevitably blows up in your face, I will be there to pick up the pieces. Because that’s what I do.
But I will not for a moment pretend to be interested in her.
Nor will I be the dick you fuck while you picture her face to make yourself come. ”
And before I can argue back, before I can tell him how wrong he is, that it’s not either-or for me—it’s both—he’s dropping the curtain and disappearing into the night.
“Fuck.” I run my hands through my hair, spinning to face the hall.
No one’s eyes glance our way, no bodies pause their nefarious activities to watch my world crumble apart.
I am utterly alone, even in this hall full of people.
I don’t know what to do without Zeke. I don’t know who I am without him by my side.
My eyes land on the door Evangeline disappeared behind and the sight of it settles my spinning world slightly.
Go, he said. Like I could do anything but.
My stomach twists with guilt as I’m pulled between the two people that mean the most to me.
One, the steady hand of my past, my safety net, my everything.
The other, the promise of my future, of who and what I could be, if given the chance. A provider in my own right.
And as much as my body is pushing me to chase after Zeke, to throw myself at his feet and grovel for his forgiveness, I know he’s right.
I need to go. I need to figure out what this thing with Evangeline is.
I need to be there for her after all she’s been through.
Even if it kills me to walk away from Ezekiel, from my love.
I take a deep breath, rolling my shoulders and pushing myself deeper into the hallway.
I wade through the sweaty bodies entangled in one another, their lust so heavy in the air that it’s suffocating.
Their desire and power meld together and push me further, spurring me onward towards the door.
To find my girl. And with every step I’m leaving behind that weaker male that I was, the one that can’t seem to figure his shit out, the one that needs Zeke to lean on.
I know what I want now, know who I am. And my entire future, my reason for existing, is behind that door.
I’ve claimed her before, but it’s time for me to do so fully.
I take another deep breath, puffing out my chest and raising my hand to knock on the carefully engraved door, but before I can, it swings open of its own accord.
I clear my throat, stepping into the darkened room.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Sterling,” Aamon’s voice lilts from somewhere within the room.
It takes my eyes a moment to focus in the dark, but when they do, I can see Aamon is perched upon an ornate throne.
Quinn is standing not far off, at the foot of a four-poster bed situated smack dab in the middle of the space, holding something between his hands. And Evangeline . . .
My heart drops into my stomach. My dick instantly hardens against my jeans, and my mouth goes dry as I take in the sight of her.
She’s folded in half atop the bed, rope cutting into her ivory skin, pulling her arms up behind her back.
Forcing her into a bowing position before Aamon.
And she’s completely naked, save for those fucking fishnets hugging her ass and thighs.