Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
ADDY
S o, I now know two things. One, I have officially been back on a horse and nothing horrific happened. Kudos to Hudson. Two, he is definitely not interested. Which in hindsight, is good. Right?
At any rate, we are camping after my lesson next weekend, and I am stoked. I can only imagine how magnificent the stars will be from the top of that hill.
But first, I have to make it through this week. I have been assigned to small animals this week, with Justin taking over the equine work. Something about rotations being fair for all veterinary staff. But I’m not convinced. Did Harry have a hand in it, not happy with my riding progress? Or is Justin punishing me for not responding to his borderline inappropriate flirting over the last three weeks?
Whatever the case is, I am on dog and cat duty for the next five days. I can only hope something more interesting than routine vaccines comes in. Here’s hoping.
Is that bad? Ugh, who would know.
“You have a procedure booked for this afternoon,” Sally the receptionist chimes in, breaking apart my musing daydream.
“Great, which theater am I allocated?”
“None. Justin wants your work done in the treatment rooms. Something about priority cases only for the theaters?”
“You can’t be serious. That’s not even best practice.”
“It is when you’re in rural Montana, love.”
Fine. Just fine.
Whatever you say, Justin. Lord, how far we have sunk in three short weeks. I am sure there is cause for reporting the practice to the veterinary board, but that would most likely cost me my job. Which I desperately need.
And there is no way I am missing the roundup with the Rawlinses because some small-town, unrequited Romeo got a bee in his bonnet. It’s almost as bad as Adam and his spam texts. Every night since my birthday, he has been texting multiple times. I moved across the country to get away from him—you’d think the man would take a hint.
With only one more appointment before lunch, I start prepping the treatment room for a routine procedure, taking stock of the cart and the medicines. I am busy cleaning down the treatment table in the center of the room with disinfectant when Sally pops her head back in.
“Your twelve o’clock canceled, hon. And there is someone here to see you. You should take your lunch break while you can.”
“Oh, thanks, I’ll be out in five.”
“Okay, I’ll tell him.”
Him.
I stiffen a little at the thought that Adam could’ve tracked me down. Finishing up the cleaning job, I pull off my white coat and hang it over the back of the office chair. I straighten my scrubs before walking out to the waiting area. Hudson sits reading a magazine about cats and dogs, one ankle resting on his knee. His Stetson is sitting on the chair beside him.
I stop right in front of him. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Rawlins?”
He startles and tosses the magazine on the table and grabs up his hat, standing. He studies me up and down. “Nice scrubs, Howard.”
“Well, they wouldn’t let me wear my swimsuit, so this is the next best thing.” The joke is lame. Heat flushes my cheeks, but Hudson doesn’t seem to notice. “Did you need an appointment?”
“Don’t think you’ll ever geld that one, Addy,” Sally pipes up from behind the reception desk, muffled giggles following the comment. I raise an eyebrow at her, and she holds up both hands in a please don’t shoot me plea.
“Um, okay?” I say to Sally before turning back to Hudson. “So, what do you need?”
“Actually, I’m here for you.”
“You are?”
“Ma’s idea, since we kind of ruined your birthday the other day.”
“Oh, I see.”
“It’s your lunch break, right?” His gaze flicks to Sally briefly.
I huff a laugh. “Yes, it is. I’ll get my bag.”
“No need, our treat. Since Harry spoiled your day.”
Pointing behind me, I turn back a little. “In that case, I’ll grab my phone.”
“Sure, meet you outside.”
Walking back to my treatment room, I snatch my phone from the desk. Another text from Adam. Two from Ruby. I slide it into the side pocket of my pants and walk outside. Hudson is sitting on the tailgate of his truck. When he sees me coming, he jumps up, folding up the tailgate. “Right, the place is two blocks away. You like Italian?”
“Lead the way.”
He walks quietly beside me as we travel past quaint shops and handfuls of locals. Some say hello to Hudson.
“I wanted to apologize for the other day in the barn,” he starts.
“Forget it, Rawlins, I got my wires crossed. I know exactly where you and I stand. Coach and rider, at a stretch... sometimes friends. It’s all good.” He opens his mouth to object, but I interrupt. “I’m starving, you?”
He adjusts his hat. “Yup.”
We cross the street, and he leads me through the door to the only Italian joint in town, Mama’s Place. The divine aroma of garlic and pasta sauce hits me. We walk to a table and Hudson waits until I am seated before sliding into a seat opposite me. “Busy day at the clinic?”
“Not really. One procedure this afternoon, then routine check-ups for the rest of the week. Without the equine visits, it’s kind of slow.”
“You’re not working horses?”
“Nope, Justin thought it was best to share the cool jobs around. So, I’m not back on the roster for ranch visits for another couple weeks. Good news is my days are much shorter. Like nine ’til three.”
“Oh, damn.” His face is unreadable. But he picks up the menu and studies it intently. I do the same, but with a little less vigor.
“If you’re finishing earlier now, did you want to add more lessons to your schedule?”
“Won’t that put you out? Surely you have other things to do apart from me.” When a cheeky grin splits his face, I realize my mistake. “I mean, apart from helping me.”
He chuckles and drops his menu. “Howard, I will always have time for you. You can come out every afternoon, if you want.”
I feel heat rise in my neck and flush my cheeks. “It’s a fair bit of drive time. Maybe Tuesday and Thursdays, on top of our Saturday session?”
“Sergeant will be thrilled. You realize Tuesday is tomorrow?”
“Yes, Rawlins,” I drawl.
“Good. We’ll see you then. For now, what do you wanna eat?”
“Nothing beats spaghetti Bolognese, please.”
He raises a hand, and the waitress scoots over. “Two spaghetti Bolognese, please. And some water and bruschetta for the table.”
Glancing between us, she scribbles down our order before rushing away.
“You know, something has been bothering me these last few weeks. And you can tell me if it’s none of my business, but...”
I lean back in my chair. It’s either about a man or a horse. And by the sympathetic look that claims his gorgeous face, it’s not about a man. He wants to know about Jewls. And I want to tell him, so badly. I have, ever since that first lesson. But across the table feels so far away from him when I am about to pour my heart through my sleeve. So, I pick up the chair and come to sit by his side and he turns in his seat.
I open my mouth but air lodges in my throat as memories replay of the day. That course, the decisions I made.
“It’s, alright, Howard. Whenever you’re ready.” I glance up and his jaw feathers as he leans forward. “Maybe?—”
“No, it’s fine. I want you to know... It was my fault.”
He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t dismiss the way I feel or the way I remember that day. Not like my parents did.
“Her name was Jewel. Jewel of the Nile. She was a half-Arabian, half-warmblood show jumper. We were at the qualifiers. I was last to ride. Our round determined who went through to the Olympics.”
Hudson swallows, his face still soft.
“We had cleared the first lot of jumps and just gone over the hedge when I felt something wasn’t right.” My chin wobbles as I pull in a breath. His hand appears on my lap, upturned, like a lifeline if I need one. I inch my fingers closer, letting the tips find his. His hands are warm, so warm. Tears burn behind my eyes.
“She was off, and I pushed her. I had no idea what had happened at that stage. But we went for the next jump. And she seemed okay... but when we took on the triple, she crashed headfirst into it. I remember the way she looked at me. As if—” Tears stream down my face and Hudson shifts in his seat until his knees are on either side of mine. He takes my hands in his, and I have to keep going. If I stop, I don’t think I could say it all again. “She was scared, confused. She was dying, and I had no idea.”
“Addy.” His voice is raw. His thumbs rub over the backs of my hands.
“There was a taipan in the hedge that we’d jumped over. And after twenty other horses and riders, it was very much riled up. It bit her on the flank, and she was gone minutes later.”
I choke through a sob.
Hudson pulls me into his lap and cradles my head, and I sob into his chest, hard. “It was all my fault. She tried to tell me, and I was so caught up in making a good time, I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen, Hudson, and she died. Afraid and helpless.”
“Addy, I’m so sorry.”
My lungs impossibly tight, I sob in his hold. When I have finally recovered from my grief and removed myself from his lap, I clear my throat and reinstate myself in my place on the opposite side of the table.
“You said you had to learn to walk again?”
“My foot got hung up when she went down, and I was crushed underneath her. Both of my hips were shattered. The surgeon did a great job, but it took so long and multiple procedures that the muscles in my hips, abdomen, and legs had atrophied too much. So off to physical therapy I went, to walk between the bars. That part, at least, wasn’t too bad. I mean, it was painful and frustrating. But nothing like losing Jewls. We were together for five years. The day we met... She changed my life.” Tears burn again, but I dab my face with a napkin, taking in the cozy little restaurant. And for the first time since the accident, I feel as if the weight I have carried since that day is almost gone. I don’t think Hudson will ever know how much of an impact he has had on me.
The waitress appears with two oversized bowls of steaming spaghetti Bolognese, bruschetta and water.
“This smells amazing,” I say. But when I look up, Hudson’s face is slack, his eyes narrowed, his breath short.
“It’s okay, Rawlins; I’ll live.” I force a smile, and he swallows before breaking eye contact.
I twirl my fork in my spaghetti and shove the steaming pasta into my mouth. It’s epic. God, this is divine. After a while, Hudson picks up his fork, but instead of diving right into his food, he shunts it around on his plate.
“Eat, Hudson, I can’t have you hangry on top of grumpy.” I scrunch my nose up at him, and he huffs a laugh and twirls his fork.
We finish the meal, and Hudson grabs the check. We wander back to the clinic on the opposite side of the street so I can check out some more shops. We pass a florist, and Hudson ducks inside. I hang around outside the next shop, a little gift shop, and peek at the handmade gifts. Mom would love some of these neat little spice jars and bundles of dried herbs. I make a mental note for later.
Bright yellow daisies are shoved under my nose, and I step back and chuckle. “I think you giving me flowers might breach the rider-coach agreement we have, Rawlins.”
“Since this was Ma’s idea, I’ll send her the bill. Then they’re from her, not me. Problem solved.” He hands me the flowers again. I grab them, covering his hand. And he closes the space between us.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Howard. And for the record, taipans are always fatal. There wasn’t anything you could have done. It wasn’t your fault, Addy.”
I close my eyes and let his words sink in. It will take a while for me to believe that. I know he is right, logically. I’m a vet, for goodness’s sake. But I will always carry the loss of Jewls with me. Especially when I’m on a horse. Something brushes my cheek and I open my eyes to find Hudson sweeping a stray curl of hair behind my ear. My heart thunders against its cage.
“Come on, I better get you back before Justin has a conniption,” he mutters.
I nod and he releases the flowers, taking his hand out from under mine. It takes me a moment to follow him down the street, spice jars and bundles of whatever long forgotten.
Hudson holds the clinic door open for me and tips his hat in a goodbye. Justin calls out as he goes to close the door, “Here to check up on your empire, Rawlins?”
“Justin,” Hudson grunts and waves to me, letting the door close behind him. I turn back, daisies in hand. Justin grunts and grabs a pile of charts from the reception desk before slinking back to his treatment room. Ugh. That guy is starting to give me the creeps. Sally gives me a knowing smile. “There was a call for you when you were out. Someone called Ruby?”
“Oh shit. Yeah, I’ll text her back. Thanks, Sally.”
I walk to my treatment room and plop onto the office chair. Phone in hand, I slide it open and tap the messages icon. Ruby’s messages are top of the list.
Hey, Adds. Checking in to see how things are going. Awesome news, I have a job at an inn not far from you. Will let you know when I hit Montana.
Adds, answer me, girl! Or I’m coming to hunt you down...
Adeline Howard, I am on my way.
I huff a laugh and text her back.
Hey, Rubes. I’m good. But I can’t wait to see you if you’re serious about Montana, that is.
The three dots appear on my screen.
Already left NYC. See you in a few days.
Like four days, Rubes, don’t drive like a crazy woman, please!
Fine, old lady. Four days, tops.
Yay!! Can. Not. Wait!
Me too, babes. Me too.