Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
HUDSON
F ood lines the center of each table. Piles of roasted meats, grilled steaks, chicken, and sausages. Salads, rice dishes, creamy potato bakes, and so much more. Every place setting is topped with a napkin wrapped elegantly around silver cutlery. Fairy lights and candles are strewn through the dishes of food, along with small glass vases of Ma’s favorite flowers and baby’s breath. Ruby has outdone herself. She really is amazing at this.
I lean over to Addy. “You’re flushed, Howard.”
She gives me an incredulous glance.
“I like it. We will have to put that color on your cheeks again later.”
“You first, Rawlins.”
I straighten and slide a hand into hers under the table; her fingers lace through mine. My cock hardens. When someone clinks a glass, chatting fades to silence, and Harry stands.
“Thank you all for coming to celebrate my Louisa. I know we do this every year. And there is a reason why we do.” Ma looks up at him, and he runs a hand behind her neck. She grabs his arm, leaning into him. “It was a little while after our youngest, Reed, was born, and we were up all night again. Exhausted, walking the halls with the little devil who wouldn’t stop crying. We swapped shifts in some wee hour of the morning, and she took him from my shoulder. I asked her then what she wanted in exchange for four sons. I felt so bad for the weariness written all over her face. The pain she went through with feeding, labor, the lot. It was supposed to be a little joke to lighten the mood, but she stood there staring at me for a moment. Then she said she wanted a birthday party every year for the rest of her life. Now at first, I thought that was an odd request for a woman who doesn’t do fuss. But then I realized, only a month or so later, that it wasn’t about the birthday. It was about seeing her boys grow. Marking every year that passed like waypoints on a map. She was strategically ensuring we had memories of each of their years. Of the milestones our family made throughout the decades. Smart woman, my wife. And it worked. We know that at least once a year, all our boys will come home. And that means something else entirely now.” He tracks his gaze to Mackinlay before glancing around at the rest of his sons. Addy squeezes my hand in hers and my breathing shallows out. I swear there isn’t a dry eye in the whole damn yard. “Anyway, happy birthday, my love. Here’s to many more milestones.” And now his eyes fall to Addy.
Talk about mixed signals, old man.
Ma catches the silent exchange between him and Addy and beams up at him. He drops his gaze to her and raises two fingers to his forehead in a subtle salute before he leans down and kisses her briefly.
“To Louisa!” someone yells, holding their glass up.
“To Louisa!” we all shout. Every last person raises their glass or bottle and takes a sip before the clatter of glasses and bottles being set back down cues the ruckus of chatter, plates and cutlery clinking. One of our neighbors, Brian, starts chatting to me about the mares. “How’s ya herd comin’ along?”
I turn to face him, swallowing. “Good, they should be foaling not long after we come back from the roundup.”
“All twelve of them this year?”
“Yep, they’re trackin’ along well.”
“Hear you have a new vet at your clinic. She taking care of your girls right?”
Addy stiffens and Mack catches her attention. My fork is suspended halfway to my mouth.
“Dr. Howard. Yep, she has done a brilliant job with them all. An asset to the clinic.”
Mack smiles at her then shoves a forkful of food into his grin.
“Got the same feedback from a few other folks with their horses. I should give the clinic a ring and see if she can come and check over my herd this year.”
I turn to find Addy stifling a laugh, and Mack’s shoulders trembling. Pair of idiots. “You takin’ new clients, Howard?”
“Sure.” She tries not to laugh, as if not wanting to offend the man. Brian’s eyes widen when he realizes who she is.
“Sorry, love. Brian Lovett. Nice to meet you, Dr. Howard.” His hand shoots past me.
I lean back, and Addy says a quick hello to the man, confirming he should call the clinic and book in. “I’d be happy to come and check your girls over.”
He raises an eyebrow to me and goes back to his food. Mack is back to talking to the woman beside him. And I lean over and whisper, “Eat your food, sweet girl. We’re not stayin’.”
When I straighten, her mouth gapes. “We’re not? What about your ma?”
“Think she has enough company.”
I finish my meal and stand. Addy pushes up out of her seat, and I manhandle the chair on the grass, stuffing it back under the table. “Say a quick goodbye to Ma; I’ll meet you at the truck.”
She closes in on me and whispers, “I have to make a quick pit stop first.”
“See you in a minute.”
She walks toward the house as I make my way to the other side of the table and tell Ma I have to take Addy home. She protests, but I kiss her forehead as her face deflates. Absolutely smitten, this mother of mine, with the woman I want and can’t have. At least, not for much longer. And I intend on making the most of her time here. Showing her exactly how I feel.
I sit in the truck. When five minutes have passed, I wait another five minutes. The pit of my stomach twists.
Fuck.
I jump from the truck and walk back inside.
“Get off me, Morley,” Addy seethes from somewhere in the hallway.
What the fuck?!
I rush through the kitchen, and as I round the corner, I find Justin holding Addy up against the hallway wall. One of Reed’s fists is around Justin’s collar, the other bending his arm back around behind his back. I fly into the mix and throw the asshole onto the ground. I spin back to Addy.
“Fuck, Addy, you alright?”
She nods, shallow and quick.
Reed folds her into his chest, and Justin clambers to his feet. “So, it’s only the Rawlins boys you fuck, then, Howard? I see how it is. Little slut.”
My fist smashes into his face faster than Reed can stop me. Knuckles burning, I slam into him again and again. Rough hands pull me off when Mack flies in through the front doors.
“For fuck’s sake. Not at Ma’s party, you idiots.” Then his gaze swings between Addy and Morley, and realization washes over his face.
“Get him out of here, Mack,” I seethe.
Reed holds Addy like a porcelain doll with one arm wrapped around her.
Mack pulls Morley to his feet, slaps the back of his head, and escorts him out the back door. I step over to Addy and my little brother excuses himself.
Every breath burns. “Did he hurt you?”
“No,” she whispers. Her eyes drop to my reddened knuckles. “I’m fine. I could have handled it.”
Fuck, what a way to screw up the things I have planned.
“I promise I am fine. It’s not the first time a guy hasn’t taken no for an answer.”
Jesus, that’s fucking worse.
“Addy?”
“Not like that far. But I have fended off my share of delusional guys, Rawlins. Don’t overthink this, please.”
“Are you sure he didn’t hurt you? I will gladly make the other side of his face match my hand.”
She huffs a laugh and her cheeks flush. “No need to damage your hand any further. Let’s go. I’ll say a quick goodbye to your ma.”
She slips past me, and I slump against the wall. The feeling of being helpless only moments ago comes rushing back, catching up with me now that the moment has turned quiet. The raging red that flooded my vision when Morley opened his fucking mouth. I pinch the bridge of my nose, sucking in a long breath, and rub my hands over my face. Moments later, two fine hands gently wrap around mine, lowering them from my face.
Addy’s dark brown eyes find mine. “Take me wherever you want, Huddy.”
I remind myself that our time together is limited. And I don’t want to waste another second of it with Justin Morley in my mind. I sweep Addy into my arms, and she squeals, her curls bouncing as she laughs with her head back a little over my arm. I walk toward the back door. “Where are you taking me?” Her words are soft, intimate.
“You’ll see.”
“That’s what Mackinlay said. You boys will be the death of me.”
“Now you sound like Ma.”
“I will take that as a compliment.”
I smile down at her when I lower her to her feet by the passenger-side door of the truck. When I open it for her, she climbs in. We drive a little way, around the back of the furthest barn, and I kill the engine and jump out. Addy gets out of the truck, eyeing the rows of fireworks Harry and Mack set up earlier. I lower the tailgate of the truck and grab some blankets out from behind the driver’s seat. This might take a while, and I don’t want her getting cold.
Addy winds through the rows of fireworks. All positioned and ready to ignite. If it was daylight, she would be able to see all the different colors they claim to be, according to the wrappers on their canisters. All the colors of the rainbow. When Reed mentioned fireworks as an inside joke from when we were kids, Ruby took it literally, and here we are. Maybe she wanted to fulfill something from Reed’s childhood wish list. Who knows?
I sit on the tailgate and pat the spot beside me. Now we wait for Mack to send the go-ahead text. If he isn’t still dealing with that loser Morley, that is. That fucker better not have ruined Ma’s big show.
Addy comes to sit by me, and I wrap her in a blanket. She presses a kiss to my jaw before resting her head on my arm.
My phone lights up beside me.
“Now, Huddo.” - Mack
“They’re ready, Addy.”
She throws the blanket off and jumps off the tailgate. “Show me how to light them.”
I grab the two gas lighters that Harry left by the first row and hand her one. The long, bendable wands of the lighters keep you far enough away from the spark when the fuse catches. “It’s pretty easy.” I bend down, click the lighter on, and hold the flame on the end of the fuse of the first one. It catches and sparks.
I step back, and Addy lights the next one. “Oh, I love this.”
“How about we take opposite ends so the colors mix as they go off? Then I’ll meet you at the truck.”
“Sounds good,” she says and walks to the opposite end of the row and starts lighting the back row. I step through the first row and light every fuse, leaving a minute or so between them so Addy’s shoot up between mine. The first one fizzles as the fuse hits the base of the canister and it shoots into the air. The air around us is rank with the tang of gun powder, the hiss and crackle of dozens of fuses.
One of Addy’s takes off and she snaps her head up, watching it. Some fuses are longer than others. We finish our rows and scramble back to the truck to watch the show. I wriggle back when she wedges between my legs, resting the back of her head on my stomach. I drape my arms over her shoulders, and she grabs my hands. I fold mine around hers, letting them fit inside, as I nuzzle her hair for a moment, breathing her in. A man could get used to this.
Color bursts over us and she gasps, looking up as the most beautiful blues light up the dark night sky. Her eyes glitter under the sparkling crackles above us. I glance up, but if I’m honest, the view below me is much, much more beautiful. Her smile stretches her face; her perfect scattering of freckles pop on the apples of her cheeks.
“Heavens above, Addy, you are gorgeous,” I whisper into her hair. She turns and pulls my face to hers, her hands planted on either side of my jaw, and claims my mouth.
“Take me somewhere, Huddy.”
She moves out of my hold, and I slip off the tailgate, shutting it behind me. Addy is sitting in the passenger’s seat by the time I’m behind the wheel. As we drive into the darkness, her gaze hasn’t left my face since I started the truck. I smile and glance at the fireworks in the rearview mirror when we’re far enough away.
Happy birthday, Ma .
Forty minutes later, Addy is quiet, leaning against the window of the truck. I pull up out front of my half-built house. “Wait here.”
Checking that everything I organized earlier today is still in place, I walk in and stride through the house to the master bedroom. And to be honest, I’m stalling. My heart thunders. Everything is raw. I light the candles that I have scattered around the house, hundreds of them. It takes a solid ten minutes.
I check the water is running. No electricity, but at least we have rainwater tanks installed already. A flushing toilet and a shower. Even if there’s no mirrors, doors, or furniture. Or kitchen. But the cooler that I packed after lunch today and packed full of ice has enough food to carry us through.
I realize that every date-type of occasion Addy and I have had has been out of a picnic basket or cooler bag, if you’re not counting the Italian restaurant. Gonna make up for that. Mental note—done.
“Huddy?” Addy’s voice is soft but lined with wonder.
I spin back from where the cooler bag sits against the wall where the oven will stand. Her shoulders are wrapped in the blanket from the back of the truck. Her hair is disheveled, eyes reflecting the flames of the candles between me and her. When I close the space between us, she drops the blanket, taking my collar in her hands.
I claim her mouth with mine, grabbing her up and onto my hips. Her legs wind around my waist. This, right here, is my version of heaven. Nothing else will ever come close.
I break from her hunger, and she rests her arms over my shoulders, breathing heavy.
“You want to go to bed, Adeline?” The words are no more than a rasp.
“With you, always.”
“Oh, good. I am kinda tired.”
She slaps my chest, and I release a hearty laugh.
“Don’t you dare go to sleep on me, Hudson Rawlins.”
“Never.”
“Always you and me, never sleeping. We’re off to a good start,” she whispers before her mouth finds my neck. The stretch in my jeans is almost uncomfortable, but I’m going to take this as slow as I can. If this takes hours, it will still be not enough time. When I turn and head down the hallway, Addy is busy exploring my neck and face with her mouth, her hands.
I make my way into the master bedroom and set her down, spinning her around. Her breath stills and her head turns as she takes in the room. The mattress on the floor is adorned with white linen and way too many fucking pillows. A small wooden box is to one side, and hurricane lanterns sit around the walls of the room with dozens of candles in between.
Yellow wildflowers from the first hill I took her to are scattered over the mattress and the floor between the candles. They reminded me of the sundress she wore to Sunday lunch. That dress gave me a rock-hard cock. So damn beautiful.
She glances back, a hand landing on my chest as she tracks her gaze up, eyes lined with silver.
“You did all this for me?”
“Absolutely, sweet girl.”
“Hudson Rawlins . . .”
I sweep the hair from her neck and nip her throat before sliding my arms around her waist. She chokes through a sob.
Fuck.
I slide around her until I’m facing her. “What is it?”
She huffs a tangled laugh. “No one has ever done anything like this for me.”
“That’s fucking criminal, Addy.”
Or maybe it’s because the only one who was supposed to do this was me. But I can’t say that out loud. I know our reality. If tonight is all I ever have with Addy, it will be a memory this man will never forget. And, if I am completely honest, this is it for me. I have no delusions that there would be anyone else. Not after Addy.
“What are you thinking?” Her hand is pressed over my heart.
“How much you mean to me, Howard.”
“You know, your ma is right, you should probably stop calling me that.” A cheeky smile pulls up on the side of her face.
“Adeline, the last person I want to think of right now is my mother.”
She laughs, bubbling with hysterics. I can’t help but laugh with her. When she settles and catches her breath, I open my mouth to say something smart, but her finger lands over my lips.
“No more talking, Huddy. Stand still while I repay you from earlier.”
“Jesus. I’m supposed to be loving you.”
“Ut! Shhhh.”
Her finger drags over my lips, and she works on the buttons of my shirt. When the last one pops, she slides it off my shoulders and down my arms, letting it hit the floor.
“Boots, cowboy.”
I pull them off and toss them behind me. “Socks, too?”
“Nope.”
Her fingers trace the curves of my shoulders, along the veins that have long since popped, down my biceps, and over my forearms. “I love these,” she whispers.
When one elegant finger slowly edges toward the V at the bottom of my stomach, my breath hitches. Not like we haven’t been naked in front of each other before, but tonight is different. More intense. More like a defining life moment that neither of us will come back from.
She undoes the buckle on my belt, letting it loose before sliding it through the loops.
“Addy—”
“Ut!”
Chest cycling through each ragged breath, I try to rein in the burning need to claim her mouth with mine, her face with my hands, her body with every part of mine. She opens the button and pulls on the zipper of my jeans and pushes them down. Her gaze finds mine. Her face shifts, caught between desperation and desire. Her bottom lip sucks in between her teeth, and I scramble to suck in a breath. I step out of the jeans pooled at my feet, and she closes the space between us, pulling my lips down to hers.
Thank fuck.
I claim her face with my hands, my tongue sweeping into her mouth. The fire in my core rushes my veins, head light from the burning need for her.
When her finger slips behind the waistband of my boxers, I groan. She whimpers against my mouth.
“Huddy—”
“Mhmmm.”
“I don’t want this to end.”
This kiss, this night, this thing we have created between us that feels like the ember of a life. A beautiful fucking life that could unravel into something I would die to keep safe.
“Me either, sweet girl.”