Chapter Five
Neil
WHEN HE wasn’t with Marco, he was thinking about him. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to stop. It felt strange. It felt… out of his control, and he hated it as much as he loved it. He knew Marco was slowly but surely carving out a spot in his heart where only he would fit.
Liking someone as much as he liked Marco? He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. It made him vulnerable. So fucking vulnerable. Not just to his enemies, but to Marco as well. Marco had power over him, and he didn’t even know it. Or maybe he did. Maybe Marco was as vulnerable to him as he was to Marco? Wouldn’t that be something?
“Are you daydreaming again?”
“No,” he said without looking up because if he did, Ty would instantly know that he had, in fact, been daydreaming. About his lover. His very secret and very dangerous lover. It had almost been a year since they met in that hotel bar and those months had been a whirlwind of sex and secret meetups.
“What would you call it, then?” Ty asked and dropped into the chair across from Neil.
He met Ty’s gaze, a smile pulling at his lips.
“Fantasizing about your untimely death.”
“ Riiight . Except you’d miss me too much,” Ty drawled, brows wagging.
“I wouldn’t miss you at all,” he deadpanned.
Ty blew him a kiss, so he flipped him off in return.
Being stuck in France for months used to be exciting for him. It used to be something he lived for. Now, though? He couldn’t wait to go home. To Marco.
A phone buzzed and after Ty checked the message, he said, “We’re a go for the rendezvous point.”
Ty had been working his agent for almost six months, getting vital information about a terrorist group that was planning attacks on US soil, and now they were waiting for the big score. Ty’s agent had found a way into the inner circle and soon they might be able to dismantle the whole organization.
The worst thing about flipping someone to your side was that you had to make promises you likely couldn’t keep. Promising them that you’d bring them to the US. That you’d keep them safe. They just had to get information one more time. Then one more. And it kept going because the second you moved your agent out, you lost the stream of intelligence they were bringing you and they would no longer be of value to you or your country.
He’d always hated that part. As much as he understood it, it never sat right with him. The people he flipped, his agents, they were real people with real families who risked everything to help the CIA. He always did what he could for them. He always tried to ensure the Agency would keep up their end of the bargain, but it didn’t always go to plan. Things changed. People’s value diminished too much if they were removed from their situation.
Four years ago, he’d been successful. As much as his agent didn’t want to, he’d agreed to spy for Neil. The man he’d turned on and given irrefutable evidence on was very dangerous. No matter which hole the Agency dropped him in, his men would still find Neil’s agent, and if he went home to be with his family, he would only continuously be putting them in danger. Cade had agreed to a new life and making him a CIA operative was the only way Neil had been able to make it happen.
Convincing his superiors to take Cade on hadn’t been hard, though. The man grew up in a family of con artists and thieves, and while Cade had wanted to distance himself from that side of his upbringing, he still had all the skills necessary to become a wildly successful operative.
Cade had become a cop in his civilian life which had turned out to only help their situation. He knew the man was working toward becoming a detective and considering Cade’s sense of justice, he knew anyone would be lucky to have him on their roster.
“Ten minutes,” Ty said, tapping his watch.
Neil nodded and raised his arms above his head to stretch before he got up. Meeting with Ty’s agent wasn’t without risk, but the man had called Ty yesterday saying he had a ‘big gift’ to hand over which meant he had found valuable information and Ty wasn’t about to sit on that for longer than he had to.
Ty was packing up, ensuring that they had everything needed if they were walking into an ambush. He looked at Ty. Really looked. The crow’s feet, the white scar on his cheekbone, the exhausted look in his eyes. Neither of them had been there when they’d met at the farm. That first week, they’d bonded through the harshness of the CIA training. Neither of them had a family then, so they’d become the ghost of one.
Ty had been married to his wife for almost a decade now and he knew the job was taking a toll on their relationship. He knew Gia wanted kids and so did Ty, but he would have to take an administrative role at the Agency in order for Gia to not be a single mother most of the year, and he wasn’t so sure Ty was ready for that. At least, not yet. He understood that better than most. They’d become field operatives for a reason. They liked the danger, the rush. It was hard to give up.
Perhaps that was why his heart had settled on Marco. Being with the man would never lessen the danger or rush. On the contrary. Being with Marco was probably the most dangerous path he could’ve taken.