Chapter Twenty-Two
Marco
THE MEETING with the Kings had gone about as well as he’d expected. They weren’t exactly friends. It was more of an enemy of my enemy situation. At least King was considering it. He didn’t have high hopes, though.
He looked up from his desk, a frown forming between his brows. Rome was fidgeting, which wasn’t normal for him. He didn’t have to guess why. Rome was seeing someone. Or, at least fucking someone. He’d fucked plenty of guys over the years. Usually, he was extremely subtle about it, knowing full-well that that information couldn’t get out, but not this time. Oh, Rome was still subtle, just not to him.
He wasn’t sure he liked it. At all. Not that he didn’t wish love for Rome, but it fucking hurt to see. He would never have that. He’d had it once and it had shattered him. It had broken him into so many pieces he would never be able to put them all back together again.
He still fucked Neil when the urge hit but he guarded his heart. Not that he really needed to. It had turned to stone when Alicia died. His compassion somehow hadn’t suffered though he’d never had that much of it to begin with, but a certain detective always knew how to pull on it. Neil’s detective, or at least he had been. Cade was his own man, now, having quit Neil and the CIA for good. He liked that for him. He liked throwing it in Neil’s face even more.
He turned his gaze back to Rome and couldn’t help his glare. The man was shifting his weight, gaze clouded.
“Have somewhere to be, Rome?”
Rome grunted. “No.”
He straightened in his chair and narrowed his eyes at Rome. “Don’t lie to me.”
Rome let out a sigh and said, “Thought you didn’t want to know about my love life.”
Love life. Not sex life. Interesting.
Marco pushed his chair back and stood, then walked up in front of Rome who raised his chin to meet his gaze.
“Is that why you didn’t want to get on your knees for me?” Marco asked.
“No,” Rome said through clenched teeth, “and you know that.”
He did know. He was just… tired. Tired of feeling like he was alone in this whole fucking world. Not knowing who he could trust. Being with Rome would’ve been easy. They’d been each other’s first for a reason. They’d always only had each other. But he didn’t feel that way for Rome. Never had. They’d just been horny teenagers with no other options back then.
“You know it’s wrong for us,” Rome said firmly.
Marco stared at him for a moment before releasing a sigh. “I know.”
Rome nodded slowly.
“You can go,” Marco said.
At least one of them should get to feel loved.
“No.”
Rome’s sharp word had his brow arching.
“Rome. You can leave. It’s all right.”
“I’m not leaving you at a time like this,” Rome said and crossed his arms.
Stubborn ass. Not that he’d expected otherwise.
“I’ll be fine. Neil is here anyway.”
He’d known the second the spook walked through the back door. Despite being inconspicuous, Neil never hid from him.
Rome clenched his teeth. “Then I’m definitely not leaving you.”
He felt a smile spreading on his lips and cocked his head to the side.
“I’m very frustrated, Rome, and you don’t seem very inclined to help me work it out, so I suggest you go work out your own frustration. Preferably, right now,” he said and motioned at the door.
Rome didn’t argue for once and the second he could no longer hear the man’s footsteps down the hall, Neil appeared in the doorway.
“Screaming, hitting, or fucking?” Neil asked, brow raised.
He knew Neil would let him do whichever he wanted, but all he could do was drop back against his desk with a deep sigh. What he really wanted was to go back in time to before any of the bad things had happened. Back to when his sister was alive. Back to when he only felt a thrill of desire when he looked at Neil. Back when his heart had been whole.
“Wallowing, then.”
He slowly raised his head to look at Neil. There was only understanding in the man’s gaze, and it pissed him the fuck off.
“Fuck you,” he muttered, turning and reaching across the desk for the bottle of vodka he kept in the drawer. Before he could screw the cap off, Neil grabbed the bottle out of his hand.
“This isn’t healthy,” Neil said.
“Screw healthy.” He stared into Neil’s unwavering gaze. “My life is about to go up in flames.”
“Not if we stop Alvaro.”
“How?” he asked, throwing his hands up. “The Kings won’t help.”
“We don’t know that.”
He glared at Neil as he drawled, “I didn’t take you for na?ve.”
Neil put the bottle of vodka down on the desk and stepped closer, his gaze burning as he stared at Marco.
“Maybe I’m na?ve, or maybe I just choose to be hopeful,” Neil said.
“Hopeful?” He shook his head. “Fuck that.”
“Marco.”
There was a tone to Neil’s voice that had him sucking in a sharp breath, hands trembling ever so slightly. The man was looking at him with so much intensity in his eyes that he felt like he couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak.
“I’m fine,” he managed to whisper.
“You’re not, and that’s okay,” Neil said, hands reaching for Marco.
He moved back, away from Neil’s touch, voice hard as he said, “Go home, Neil.”
Neil shook his head and kept moving closer.
“I failed you once. I won’t let you lose anyone ever again. I won’t lose you .”
When Neil pulled him against his chest, he nearly collapsed right then and there, eyes squeezed closed and his breaths trembling. His heart, as hard as it had become, still managed to flutter in his chest. He didn’t want to know why. He didn’t want to look closer. To see.