CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
C HAPTER F ORTY -F OUR
The next morning, Bree stared at her phone screen, where her therapist stared back.
“I blocked most of my childhood memories for decades,” Bree said. “Why am I suddenly seeing and hearing my mother?”
“What kind of memories are you having?”
“Good ones.” Bree tapped a finger on her steering wheel. “Until recently, I never had a good memory of my mother. All I saw were flashes of my father’s rage—and detailed replays of the night he killed her. But now, I’m suddenly seeing other aspects of her. In my mind, she’s becoming a whole person, not just his victim.”
“She was a whole person, Bree, but you were hurting too much to see what you were missing.”
“And now?”
“You’re a different person. You’ve grown. You have emotional connections. You have a support system. You’re secure enough to deal with the pain and grief. You can miss her now.”
“Seems kind of late.”
“Better late than never. How do the memories make you feel?”
Bree thought about that. “Not terrible. Sad, but it’s nice to know she loved me.”
Her childhood memories were jumbled inside her like Scrabble letters in a felt bag. Here she was taking them out, one by one, decades later, and trying to put them in some sort of order.
“Don’t be afraid of the memories. Embrace them. Feel whatever they make you feel.”
“But I don’t want emotions to affect my work. The case we just finished ...” Bree gave a quick summary of key aspects of the investigation. “I identified too well with Claire. Maybe because of my violent history, or because I projected my own or Luke’s and Kayla’s trauma onto her. Whatever the reason, I took what she told us at face value. I should have questioned more.”
“You thought she was a victim.”
“Yes, but I don’t like that I wasn’t objective. I don’t like that my preconceived assessment of her affected how I conducted the investigation.”
Her therapist lifted a hand. “Well, I’m sorry to say that you’re an actual human, Bree. Unless you want to turn policing over to artificial intelligence, you can never completely remove the human element from your job.”
A few minutes later, her session ended, and she frowned at her phone for a few minutes. Did she feel better or worse? She never knew.
The sessions left her tired, though.
Someday, she’d ask her therapist why she hadn’t felt remorse after killing Denver Sawyer—and others. But today, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She could process only so much self-revelation at one time.
She went back to her office. Todd and Matt were in the conference room, typing reports. She dropped into a chair. “Tell me we’re tying neat bows on every thread.”
“Maybe not every thread, but it’s coming along,” said Matt. “The zoo has taken charge of the animals in Denver’s barn.”
“Excellent,” Bree said.
Todd pointed at his laptop. “One of Denver’s shoes matched the partial footprint we found outside the Masons’ house.”
Matt said, “Here’s something interesting. Claire had a key inside her phone case with the initials SFCC on it.”
Bree’s brain chugged at the initials. “Scarlet Falls Country Club?”
“Yep. Shelly Mason played tennis there. She had a locker.”
“Do I want to know what was in the locker?”
Matt met her gaze. “Another go-bag. Money, fake IDs for Shelly and Claire.”
Bree didn’t know why she was surprised. “Shelly had her own escape hatch?”
“Maybe she didn’t trust Josh,” Todd suggested.
More LEGO bricks snapped into place in Bree’s mind. “That’s probably where Claire was headed when Denver grabbed her.”
“That would be my guess,” Matt agreed. “She was going to make a run for it.”
Bree’s phone vibrated. “It’s Jager.” Funny, she didn’t dread answering like she usually did. “Taggert.”
Jager said, “Did you see Pam Sawyer’s press con?”
“She had a press con?” Bree stared at the phone. She couldn’t have heard correctly. “Right after her son died and her daughter was shot?”
“Yep.”
“That’s cold.”
“She tried to pin her family issues on you, but the press wasn’t buying it. They asked her about her daughter’s condition, and she couldn’t answer. She hasn’t even been to the hospital to see Claire, whom you saved.”
“My team saved Claire,” Bree said. “With your help.”
“You and your team saved me too. Thank you.” Jager’s appreciation sounded genuine.
“What did Pam want?” Bree asked.
“Money, of course, but thankfully, the press framed her for exactly what she is, a lying, greedy psychopath.”
“I should be glad?” Bree asked.
“Her lawsuit probably won’t go anywhere, so yes. Be glad. About everything. Nice work. By the way, the alligator was in the trap this morning.”
But the cougar had disappeared.
“Thank you.” Bree ended the call. How did she feel about that conversation? Weird. Definitely weird.
A knock on the door interrupted them. Zucco peered into the conference room. “Any word on what’s going to happen to Claire?”
“Nothing definite,” Bree said. “She actively assisted in a double murder. She’s going to be in custody for some time. She asked if you would keep the cat.”
“Yeah. Sure. He’s no trouble. Mom likes him.”
Bree eyed her deputy’s dark circles. Then scrutinized the other faces in the room. Her whole team had been working day and night on the case. They looked ragged. “Go home, Zucco. Take the rest of the day off.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Zucco ducked out.
Bree closed the files and addressed Todd and Matt. “You’re both exhausted. Both of you take the rest of the day off as well. That’s an order.”
Todd and Matt closed their files.
Todd was already on his feet and headed for the door. “I’m taking Cady to lunch.”
“How about you?” Bree poked Matt’s impressive bicep.
“I have a date with a Belgian mal.”
“I hope he works out,” Bree said. “Last night highlighted the importance of having K-9s.”
“Can’t count the number of times a dog saved my ass.”
“Our asses,” Bree corrected. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to raise the money.”
Exhaustion washed over her. She’d barely slept for days, and the therapy session had left her wrung out. “I want to go home and take a nap.”
Matt wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Why don’t you? I’ll work with the mal for an hour or so. We could go for a ride afterward, maybe Luke and Kayla can come too. The heat finally broke.”
“Luke had a riding date this morning. Might be fun to be there when they get back. I’d like to meet the girl.” Bree thought about saddling up their horses. Sunlight dappling the trail. The smell of the countryside and animals in her nose. The rhythmic movement of the horse beneath her. Heaven. Absolute heaven. In her opinion, an afternoon with her family, horses, and dogs was the best therapy in the world.
She was incredibly lucky to have found peace after the tragedies that scarred her past. She silently repeated her new mantra: I will not feel guilty for being happy. If she kept saying it, someday she might believe it.
“Take the day, Bree,” Matt said. “You deserve it.”
Could she do that? Just leave, with work and messages still piled on her desk?
She leaned into Matt’s arm. Yes, she could. Her job was just work. Her family and Matt were her life and heart.
Besides, she might as well enjoy some downtime before there was another murder.