14. Chapter 14 Sabrina
Chapter 14: Sabrina
S abrina reclined on the couch, controller in hand, as Freddy’s avatar parkoured across ancient rooftops on the screen. She glanced over at him, his brow furrowed in concentration.
“You doin’ okay?” She tried to keep her tone casual, but he’d been off since coming back from family dinner.
Freddy sighed, his fingers never missing a beat on the controller. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Sabrina paused her game and turned to raise an eyebrow at him. “Really? We’re lying to each other now?”
“No.” Freddy’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t say anything more.
“Spill, pass, or die,” Sabrina prompted.
“You couldn’t kill me if you tried.” Freddy relaxed as he challenged her, but Sabrina wasn’t worried.
“You’re about to enter the market with all the ninja guys where you die every single time. I won’t have to do much.”
Freddy hit pause so both sides of the screen were frozen. He kept his gaze on his lap as he said, “My brother just pissed me off, but Holly was nice about, and then Mom was all understanding and sent home the leftovers and cake, and it was just weird.”
Sabrina might not understand families, especially ones as big, wealthy, and intense as the Taylors, but she knew Freddy would refuse to share anything meaningful if he felt like he was being stared at. Unpausing her game, she exited their quest and wandered aimlessly around the map. “What did Patrick say?” she asked like the answer didn’t matter.
Freddy sighed and did the same with his own game, though he fast traveled to a different city. “Uh, well, you know how I kind of froze the other day. I mean that morning. After the tree.”
Sabrina had no idea what he was talking about, but she let him keep going.
“When you kissed me?” he finally blurted.
She froze. “Oh, that.” Mentally, she raced through how her moment of insanity could have anything to do with his family or something Patrick would say to him. Had he told them about it? Fuck, she would die from embarrassment.
“Yeah, um, I. I mean, my reaction,” he stuttered and chewed on his bottom lip while keeping his eyes focused on the screen.
Sabrina, on the other hand, couldn’t rip her eyes away from Freddy. That tiny part of her that remembered the joy of childhood hope sparked to life. The rational, adult part of her tried to snuff it out, but it wasn’t working.
She encouraged Freddy to keep talking, hoping he wouldn’t notice that her character was just standing there, not moving. “Uh huh.”
“I’m sorry about that. You caught me by surprise. That, uh, that was only the second time that’s happened to me.” The flush that bloomed across his face ran the entire way from his shirt collar to his hairline.
“You’ve only been caught by surprise twice? Or you’ve only turned into a statue twice?” she tried to add a little levity to the second question but was pretty sure she failed epically.
Freddy’s face got even redder, and his character began sprinting laps around the village he was in. “Um, my second kiss. I mean, I guess not even. Technically, uh, it was the first time someone kissed me, so um, I just didn’t. I mean. I’m just sorry I didn’t kiss you back or whatever.”
The fuck? That was Freddy’s first kiss? No, he said it was his second, but the first time someone kissed him. Holy shit. Sabrina’s brain was skipping like a needle trying to play a scratched vinyl record. What was she supposed to say to that? Why hadn’t he kissed more people? There were so many questions. Damn. Where did she even start?
“‘Rina?”
The hesitant vulnerability in Freddy’s voice blasted through her curiosity and wonder. “Yeah, sorry. I’m not sure what to say to that.”
Tossing his controller onto the coffee table, Freddy wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and began pulling at it the way he did when he’d spent too long hunched over his monitor without his glasses on.
This had to be related to family dinner, somehow. “Freddy, what did Patrick say tonight?” she asked.
“The first time. I mean the one time when I kissed someone. Uh. It was prom night. I invited this girl that I liked. I mean like I like, liked her.” He puffed out a violent exhaled, “Fuck, this is embarrassing.”
“You know I won’t judge, right?” Sabrina checked.
He chuckled, “Yeah, you will. You probably should. Fuck. I was so stupid. I thought we were both kind of interested in each other or whatever, and she agreed to go to prom with me, but then I kissed her in the middle of the dance floor wherever everyone, and I do mean every-fucking-one, could see, except she just thought we were friends. Actually, no. Not even that. She thought we were both gay and using each other as beards, so she shoved me away while wiping her mouth clean and shouting ‘gross’ loud enough for everyone to hear.”
His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.
“What did you do?” Sabrina feared the answer, but she had to know.
Freddy turned to stare back at her as he answered, “I laughed and pointed and said ‘gotcha’ while pretending it was all a big joke.”
“Oh, damn.”
“Yep,” he popped the p .
“And tonight?”
“Patrick told Holly the story.”
“He graduated, like, four years before you, didn’t he?” she checked.
Freddy turned back to face the TV and picked up his controller. “Yeah, but it was the defining moment of prom that year, so everyone was talking about it. Some people even shared pics of it. It didn’t take long for it to get back to Patrick, even though he was away at school.”
“Holy shit.”
Shrugging, Freddy bit his lip and made his character climb to the tallest peak before diving off into a bale of hay. “I just played it off like it was a joke. It shouldn’t have been a big deal.”
His blush had faded, but Sabrina felt the weight of their conversation. Did any of his family know how badly that night had messed him up? “And since then?” She forced herself to return to moving her character around.
He shrugged again. “I’m not, like, a virgin or anything. I’ve slept with a few women, but it’s just a thing, and I never really kissed them. I mean, they were never anyone I cared about or anything.”
Should she apologize? She certainly should have asked before pressing her lips to his, but she hadn’t been thinking clearly that morning. It did explain Freddy’s persona with his family and in public, though. But what was she supposed to say?
“My mom still lives in the trailer where my dad died. Like, she still sits in his recliner and never replaced the carpet where there’s a bleach stain from us cleaning up after he…” This was probably not the right choice. Sabrina’s mind slammed on the brakes. It was her turn to flush red now. She could feel the heat of it creeping up her neck and ears.
“How did he die?” Freddy asked.
“Overdose. He choked on his own vomit.” She’d never shared the details with anyone. Well, not since she mentioned it at school one time and had to spend a ridiculous amount of time talking to the school counselor. It was enough to teach her to keep her home life at home.
“That sucks.”
It did. “I found him,” she added. “I mean, my mom was with me, but I was the first to see him.” In for a penny, in for a pound?
“I’ve always wanted to get a cat, but I’m scared it will eat my face in my sleep,” Freddy confessed, making Sabrina laugh.
“I send half my paycheck back to my mom to help cover her bills.” Apparently, tonight was the night for baring their souls.
“That’s why you’re always so tight with your money!” Freddy exclaimed like he’d discovered the meaning of life.
This time it was Sabrina who gave a one-shoulder-shrug. “She always worked two jobs, but she’s getting older.”
“I think Holly’s going to kick Patrick’s ass for sharing that prom story.”
“Good.” Sabrina made a mental note to thank the woman.
“What are you going to do about your house?” Freddy asked the question Sabrina had been avoiding thinking about the past few days.
“Honestly? I don’t know. It’ll depend on what happens with work. If Patrick really does fire me to appease Dynamic Solutions, I’ll probably move back with my mom. I’ve been trying to get her to swap the trailer for a condo or townhouse. Maybe she will if we make that move together?” Every time Sabrina thought through the possibilities for her future, that was where she landed. No matter how she twisted and turned through various scenarios, she always ended up right back where she started: Nowhere, Nebraska; living with her mom; working at Walmart or Dollar General.