12. Ilaria
12
ILARIA
W ell, I fucked up.
Kissing Dante in the parking lot had made me a mess.
The type of mess that was afraid to move too much because the spot between my legs was so sticky with the arousal that had surged there. His cock had been rocking against me and I could have cum from just his grinding.
And that fucking kiss.
The way his tongue had pressed against mine, sliding over it with the possessive dominance as if letting me know I was his. Making me feel like being his was the best thing in the world.
How I was so greedy, wanting to be his.
Fuck .
I take a breath as I look in the bathroom mirror at myself.
I need to finish getting ready before the photographer arrives. I know that having fantasies about my fiancée wasn’t helping me with my time at all.
“Dante!” I slip out of the bathroom, turning when he isn’t there in the bedroom, and throwing my hands up in annoyance. At least, he had gotten dressed since his clothes were missing.
My shoes hang off my fingers as I turn, seeing him in his office, a drink in his hand as he realizes I’m headed there. One hand is in his pocket his ever present rosary on his wrist hanging out as he turns, looking at me.
A curl of hair had fallen onto his forehead and I pause drinking in the sight of him.
He is in a black pair of pants, a white button up with a jacket over it, and the loafers I had bought him on the shopping spree earlier. I thought it would be a cute picture if we both had red bottoms on. His jacket is unbuttoned as well as the first few buttons of his shirt.
Fuck .
He is good looking in a way that is going to be trouble for me and my concentration.
“I need you to zipper my dress.” His eyebrow cocks at my words, the deep golden brown of his eyes locking me in place as I will myself to move closer.
Walking into the office, I turn my back to him, letting him pull my hair away from the back of my dress. It hangs over my shoulder as I feel the warmth of his body behind me. His fingers slide up my spine as Dante drags the zipper upward. My body trembling as I turn, meeting his eyes as he looks down at me with heat in his eyes.
Dante looked too serious and I wanted to make him smile for some reason.
But he didn’t give me the chance.
His hand slips around my neck, tilting my lips so they pressed against his and I was gone, forgetting myself as I lost myself in the sensation of kissing him.
His lips are warm against mine as he turns me, my ass hitting the desk and Dante pausing to lift me on the wood, his fingers digging into the back of my thighs as I whimper into his mouth.
The tug of his fingers in my hair that was hanging down as he fists it at the sides of my head. I know the lipstick I had applied was getting messed up as the feverish frenzy of his kiss dominates me.
But lipstick can be reapplied. There is always time to be kissed like this.
A clicking sound makes me push at him in shock, looking behind me as I see the photographer looking at us through the lens of her camera.
The beating in my chest falters for a second as I feel the way embarrassment climbs over me.
He was just acting for the camera.
“I forgot to tell you, princess. The photographer arrived when you were getting ready. ” He says it so casually like it didn’t make me feel like a fool.
For a second I hate him.
Dante grabs my shoes from beside me, sitting in the chair at his desk and pulling my feet onto his lap as he rubs at the arch of my foot, making me turn to look at him instead of being nervous about being caught kissing.
Wiping the corners of my mouth from the lipstick I feared was smeared and trying to clean up the mess that I’m sure being kissed by him made.
My eyes are on Dante as he slides my shoes on, one after another. Staring down to watch him, wishing that the photographer was gone because I wanted him to kiss me again and see if he would kiss me back.
It couldn’t have been just for the camera.
My head was still spinning from the last one, conflicting emotions about it souring my stomach.
“We’re going to do a few poses here and then head out after. I figured you two could walk around the neighborhood?” The photographer lays out the plan for us.
We nod in agreement, Dante reaching out for me as I look up at him, allowing myself to be manipulated onto his lap.
My hand slides over his chest, one of my fingers hooking in the gold chain he is wearing around his neck as he gives me a soft smile, wiping a bit of smeared lipstick from the corner of my mouth that I must have missed with the tip of his finger.
“You look gorgeous, Ilaria.” The way he said my name makes me swallow hard, eyes on him as he lifts my hand, kissing my fingers before turning it to kiss my wrist as the photographer got a photo of us and the engagement ring.
But this move feels less like a play for the camera and more of a moment for us.
I have been called beautiful by men a lot in my life. Flirted with and hit on by strangers and yet something about the way Dante looks at me when he said it made me feel it. I felt attractive in his gaze and it warms me all over.
And I knew that was going to be trouble.
An hour later, we had already changed from our first clothes to something more casual.
Keeping on the matching shoes Dante shrugged off his jacket and I pulled on a white summer dress, curled into his side as we walked around the North End finishing off our shoot as we stopped at a patch of grass next to the Garden.
There was a makeshift tent to change in and I could see Dante checking his phone as he worries about the time.
I wasn’t selfish.
Today was an important day for him and he hadn’t expected the photoshoot that our parents had informed us of last second. I had seen it in his face when he had tried to get me to sign the permits how much he wanted his business to succeed.
I wanted him to be happy.
I always wanted to make everyone happy.
“We have one more outfit change. I also had your suit dry cleaned and dropped off at your office at Inferno so you can walk there right after this. I’ll take a car there around 4:30 to avoid the crowds and we can make an entrance together.” Having a plan always made me feel better and I was hoping it would help him too.
When my mother got sick my friends and I had come up with schedules. Maddie had been in charge of them. We made sure someone was always with her at appointments, that we all were in class, and that everything ran smoothly as she went through treatment.
Having something to do made me feel useful and helped me a lot when my world was spiraling.
The way he looked at me, surprised I had thought of his opening and was aware of his time surprised me.
I was used to managing my father and could work with a time limit. Knew the way men like to show up on time for business dealings and how it was a sign of disrespect when they were late to things.
“Go in your tent.” I pointed to him as I slipped into mine.
The final outfit was more casual.
A pair of jeans and white sneakers, a white camisole with a Red Sox hat that I had gotten in high school. It had faded from years of constant wear but I liked that it was broken in.
Stepping out, I saw Dante in his matching outfit, except he had a white v-neck that showed off his tattoos and a flat brimmed white Bruins hat with the old bear logo on it that I had picked out from his closet. The way that the jeans hugged his thighs made me bite my lip, taking a second before I could meet his eyes.
Casual Dante was very attractive.
Now that I thought of it, all forms of Dante were attractive to me. Which could be a problem going forward if I kept looking at him with goo-goo eyes.
I didn’t think twice, just took a few steps forward, and threw my arms around him. Without even thinking because I knew he would catch me.
His arms wrap around my waist, his lips pressing against mine in a quick kiss. We were getting used to the kissing, fast learners and eager to practice with each other.
Dante eases me down on my feet, his hands holding mine as we joke around in these pictures, since they’re less formal. It’s surprisingly easy to laugh with someone who I don’t know.
The photographer suggests a few softer ones but these were more of me running and him catching me by the waist and twirling me around instead of just laughs.
There was one with me on his back, Dante looking back at me as I threw my head back laughing as he made a joke.
One where I’m between his legs, laying on the grass, looking out towards the highway seeming lost in the moment and maybe I was a little lost in him as well.
We had a crash course in being a couple but I feel like we’ve aced it.
“I have time before I have to go.” Dante says it softly like he thinks I’m going to tell him I’m too busy for him. “I can buy you lunch or do you just drink two coffees for that meal too?” I laugh as he says this, standing up as the photographer walks over to us.
“Two cups a day keeps my Demon away.” He smirks at the way I joke about him, embracing his nickname but he doesn’t get a chance to respond.
“I can send pictures to you in a couple hours for the engagement announcement. But do you want me to text you some pictures to post now?”
It takes me a second to think about it but it makes sense if we start laying the ground work. There is going to have to be some social media presence from us with this engagement.
I don’t have a huge following but I do know a lot of people.
If Becca reposts some of these pictures a quick million people will see it. And of course my best friend will do that for me.
I’m sure Dante has an aesthetically pleasing Instagram account, with all the pictures placed and taken strategically. Maybe all black and white shots to make him seem more man and less mafia heir.
Suddenly, I’m yearning to creep all his socials to find out more about this man I’m going to marry.
I exchange numbers with the photographer, thanking her and telling her I’ll be in touch with her about the wedding in a couple weeks. A couple weeks feeling like a shorter timeline than I imagined.
Everything feels more real now.
“We should probably add each other on social media.” I’m opening the photo sharing app, surprised to see not only did Dante already add me to social media but he had tagged me in several stories he posted.
The first one is from last night.
He took it as I walked towards Justin’s building. It’s taken at an angle and my face doesn’t show but you can see my outfit and the inky Atlantic moving in silent fury behind me.
He had captioned it ‘ she walks on water ’.
Something about it feels romantic and I take a second to appreciate it.
The next picture, I’m tagged in is of a tray of coffee in his story as he walks back to the penthouse.
A third picture of me at brunch, sipping my coffee, with half my face showing, my eyes locked ahead of me at whoever is talking to me, unaware of him snapping it.
A fourth photo of me shopping with my back to him, Dante’s legs in the photo with bags around him captioned ‘ For her I’ll spend Saturday’s shopping ’.
It’s such a typical guy picture.
The last picture was from when we had been walking on the cobblestone and my shoe had come off, I was turning to look for it and thought Dante had been texting. Instead he had posted the picture of me as ‘ Cinderella ’.
I scan my eyes over him, trying to make sense of all of this.
What is he playing at?
No one had ever cared about me enough to make anything public and for some reason Dante doing it almost hurts.
Was he doing this to just make sure that he covered his ass with the engagement or was he doing it for another reason?
I didn’t think I could handle the idea of him having feelings for me but I wasn’t sure I could handle him not having feelings either . The way he looks at me complicates everything.
“I think I actually rather go back to the penthouse and lay down. You’re close to Inferno. Go check in on everything.” I push him away softly, needing some space so that I can freak out in peace.
Trying to give him a reassuring smile but he’s looking at me like he wants to transplant himself into my mind and it makes me uneasy as I try to step away from him. I’m trying to retreat into my own mind to process everything.
I’m so used to having space that when he demands my attention I clam up.
“Ilaria.” The rumble of his voice seems urgent. His hand is on my wrist and he’s forcing me to look at him again.
All I can think about was how I spent the afternoon kissing him and pretending to be a happy couple in love. A normal couple who didn’t have to sign a marriage contract to make their parents happy.Just a couple of fools who are happy to be with each other.
It had been so good to pretend that we were normal but it was time to face the truth we would always be smoke and mirrors.
“Give me your phone number. I’m going to send a car for you at 4:30 and I want to have your number.” I hand it over and watch him type on it before he sends a text from my phone to what I assume is his phone.
My mind is spinning and I just want to crawl under the covers and hide.
“Are you done?”
His dark eyes look at mine and I see him bite his tongue before handing the phone back to me.
I fake a yawn hoping he sees I need space and frowns when Dante wraps his arms around me, bringing me against his body and making me melt against him.
“I don’t know what’s going on in your head, little principessa but when we get home tonight we can work out whatever monsters you have in your mind.” He kisses my forehead and I frown at the softness of it, stepping away from him again.
“I don’t have monsters in my head. Just a stubborn old Demon.”
He smirks at that and I know I’m just getting myself into more trouble with everything I’m doing but I can’t stop myself when it comes to him.
I can’t stop what’s happening and it’s all too quick and too much.
And I just have to go with it because I’ve already signed my life away.