Chapter 9 Rowan
My breathing went shallow as my pulse climbed, the erratic thud of my heartbeat loud in my ears.
Still, my stubborn wolf stayed tucked away, refusing to answer no matter how I called for her.
I didn't understand why the smallest spike of volatile emotion could drag her forward, yet now, when I actually needed her, she was nowhere to be found.
At first, I ran without thinking, driven forward by pure adrenaline. I had no plan, only the instinct to move. Then I focused on my body and forced my breathing to slow, and something shifted.
My stride lengthened naturally, my feet striking lighter, cleaner. I wasn’t discovering something new. I was uncovering it. My body knew exactly what to do, moving with strength and coordination that had been buried deep, waiting for me to realize it was there.
Running was never a strength of mine before, but it seemed the shifter nature came with a bonus of sudden athleticism.
Narrowing my vision and focusing my hearing, I tapped into my senses, listening for anything helpful.
I could still hear the faint clicking of a timer somewhere far behind me, warning that the alphas were about to begin their pursuit.
It seemed my wolf wasn't planning to come to my defense, and I didn't intend to let them claim me, so I considered my options fast.
The first threat was Talon. His wolf was the strongest tracker. If he got my scent, the hunt would be over before it even started. I needed to lose him if I stood any chance at all.
My ears caught the faint sound of water, and I sprinted toward it.
Wading through a stream might help mask my scent long enough to confuse him, and once I created enough distance, I could cross and continue on land.
When the stream finally came into view, I exhaled a shaky breath of relief, wading into its depths as the frigid water collided and stole my breath.
"Shit! It is freezing!" I hissed through chattering teeth.
I stayed near the shallower bank to avoid going fully under and turning myself into a hypothermic popsicle, but I still needed to be deep enough for the current to help hide me.
The water moved swiftly, but I trudged north, against its pull.
Every step burned my legs with effort. Once I felt I had gone far enough to conceal my scent, I crossed to the other side at a shallow stretch and climbed out, sore muscles trembling.
As I stood on the bank, trying to catch my breath, I attempted shifting again, reaching for my wolf.
"Please help me," I begged her.
Nothing.
A growl built in my throat. "Seriously? You are just going to let them pin me to the forest floor and claim me in the dirt?"
Silence.
"Whatever, you horny bitch!" I muttered. I was beginning to think my wolf was secretly in league with Ryker, wanting to be caught.
The bank was steep, and I scrambled up, grabbing exposed tree roots to haul myself forward. Midway through the climb, I froze at the sound of a branch snapping in the distance. Heavy footsteps followed, striding toward me.
An alpha was closing in. Fast.
Thankfully, based on the pattern of footsteps, it wasn't Talon. Two feet hitting the ground in a steady rhythm meant someone still in human form. They were running quickly though, and headed straight for me.
Panic jolted through me as I considered my options. I couldn't outrun them. The alphas were all faster, stronger, and more experienced than I was. Darting forward, I zig-zagged between trees, searching for any advantage, escape, or way to outsmart whoever was hunting me down.
"Think, think, think! Where do I go?"
Like some divine intervention, I spotted a tree ahead with a massive broken branch and dense foliage.
None of the other trees had branches low enough to reach, but this one did.
The broken branch had cracked and now sagged toward the ground, still barely attached by a strip of bark, forming a natural ramp.
Above it, another branch sat at just the right height to grab.
If I climbed into the canopy, I could hide.
Sprinting past the tree first, I doubled back so my scent would not end at the trunk's base and give my location away.
Then I climbed fast, scrambling up the angled branch.
The footsteps were close now. Too close.
I pressed myself flat against the trunk, pulling my knees to my chest and forcing my breathing silent as I tried to disappear into the leaves.
An alpha was almost on top of me.
I scented the air, trying to figure out who it was, and my stomach dropped.
Killian.
His earthy oakmoss scent nearly blended into the forest itself.
Of course it was Killian.
My luck was complete trash.
Why, out of all of them, did it have to be him? The one who could barely look at me without scowling with disgust. At least I didn't have to worry about him trying to claim his prize. Killian wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole if he could help it.
So why was he even bothering to chase me?
Then I remembered the muffled argument I had eavesdropped on earlier. Cade ordered him to, that's why.
And yet… he was the one on my heels.
His massive form passed below me, silent and powerful. A painful twist pulled at my chest as I watched him. Shaggy black hair whipped behind him as he moved, and I yearned to run my fingers through it like I used to.
When his footsteps finally faded, I let out a slow breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. My limbs felt stiff from staying statuesque for so long, so I stretched them out, blood prickling painfully back into them.
As much as I wanted to stay hidden in the safety of this tree forever, that was not an option. I had to move before someone else started tracking me. Or worse. Killian could realize my scent suddenly stopped and double-back.
I carefully lowered myself down the tree, boots slipping once on the smooth bark of the ramp branch. My heart lurched into my throat as I caught myself, hugging the trunk until I found balance.
I hit the forest floor quietly, nerves buzzing. I spun in a frantic circle, trying to decide which direction to run next—
That's when something caught my attention.
An enormous shadow in my peripheral vision.
Every muscle in my body went still.
Killian was just standing there, leaning against a nearby tree, watching me with his arms crossed.
How?!
I was sure I would have heard him double back!
Clearly, I still hadn’t learned to focus or control my new senses, and I’d underestimated just how quietly the big guy could move. From the way he stood there, leisurely waiting for me to climb back down, it was obvious he’d known exactly where I was the whole time.
When our eyes met, he pushed off the tree. His body went tense, and for a moment we just stared at each other. The air between us felt charged, heavy with something unspoken.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. My voice came out breathy, uneven, barely a whisper. Then, to cement my apology, I signed the words using the same motion he had first signed to me.
I'm sorry.
At first, he didn’t answer. His expression stoic and jaw tense as he weighed the apology, at war with himself. For a moment, I thought he might just turn and walk away.
Then he finally spoke, the words scraping out of his unused throat, rough and raw. “Not as sorry as you’ll be when I catch you.”
Shifting his stance, his muscles coiled, ready to spring. My flight instinct responded to his motion, and I bolted. Trees passed in a blur, and Killian's heavy footsteps thudded behind me. Fear pounded through my chest, but somewhere beneath it, my heart skipped.
He was finally responding to me for the first time since I’d betrayed him. I knew chasing me didn't mean he had accepted my apology, but at least he wasn't ignoring me anymore. At least I existed to him again.
There was no time to think, decide, or plan.
I just ran, moving in ways I couldn't consciously.
There was something freeing about my feet flying and the wind whipping through my hair.
For a moment, I forgot I was being chased, breathing in deeply, reaching for my wolf, who finally stirred in response.
A tingling sensation spread through me, which I recognized as the start of the shift. But before it could take hold, Killian’s massive form crashed into mine. His arms locked around my waist, and the impact sent us both tumbling to the forest floor.
He twisted mid-fall, shielding me with his body, trying to take the brunt of the impact. The collision knocked the air from my lungs. We rolled through the leaves, momentum carrying us, until he planted his arm and braced himself above me.
Then we were still.
He stared down at me with an intensity that sent electricity through my veins. His icy blue eyes nearly glowed, so filled with emotion. I reached for him, desperate to rebuild the bridge I had burned.
"Please forgive me, Killian," I pleaded in barely a whisper.
His head dipped, and his lips brushed mine, hesitant at first. A low growl rumbled from his chest as my hands slid around his neck, pulling him closer. Then, our mouths collided in a rush of heat and desperation.
Our kiss wasn’t romantic, and it certainly wasn’t sweet like I had grown accustomed to from him.
It was punishing. He devoured me, letting all his anger and frustration pour into the bruising kiss.
My hands snaked under his shirt, trying to avoid his bandaged, mostly healed wounds.
I needed to feel his skin against mine, to be close to him again.
As my fingertips brushed his hip, sliding up along his stomach, he froze. He growled again, this time in warning, and I looked at him, confused. Within a split second, he flipped me onto my stomach. My hands shot out to brace myself, but he pressed me down, flat into the leaves and dirt.
“No touching,” he said, the rough words edged with another warning growl.
I could feel his hardness straining against my ass, and I ground against him, trying to convince him to act. I knew he was at war with his pride and his instincts, the same way I often found myself.
Killian groaned as my ass ground against his knot, and his hands frantically worked to pull my damp pants down. Cold air chilled my exposed skin, but soon the warmth of his body blanketed mine. I could feel his velvet length nestled between my cheeks, aching to slip inside my core.
Before I could stop myself, a desperate plea left my lips, half moaned with need.
"I missed you. Please, Killian," I begged, my lips muffled by the forest floor.
And just as I expected to feel his thickness enter me, he was gone.
His weight, his warmth, and his intoxicating oakmoss scent, all retreated as he regained his senses and pulled away, fleeing from me as if I were something toxic.
He fastened his fatigues, looking down with a mix of fear and longing that quickly hardened back into anger.
Then he turned and walked away.
I watched as he hurried away from me, not looking back, desperate to put distance between us. Within me, something broke as I lay there, discarded and rejected. The pain stabbed so deeply, it hurt to breathe. Somewhere far in the distance, Talon's wolf howled, noting my sorrow through our bond.
Where are you? What happened? Are you okay, Rowan!? Answer me. His frantic and concerned words slipped through my mind.
There was no way that Killian couldn't feel my pain through the packmate-bond, but he still didn't turn.
As his silhouette grew further from me, I collected myself, dressing and brushing the forest debris from my clothes. I was about to respond to Talon and make my way towards the rest of them when I noticed something moving near Killian.
He was almost out of sight, so I focused my eyes, peering into the darkness.
I touched my wolf again, calling to her to help guide my senses, and suddenly the world sharpened.
Two enormous creatures stalked Killian, following behind him, slinking in the shadows downwind to conceal their scent.
They moved from tree to tree with stealth.
Direworgs.
Without needing to call to her or force it, the shift came on its own, sudden and instinctive. It didn’t happen through conscious effort, but as naturally as breathing or blinking, as effortlessly as my heart beating.
A searing pain tore through me, but it lasted only a moment before giving way to something else. It was as if the wolf had been waiting for the right moment. She had refused to surface before, but now she sensed the genuine danger, the imminent need, and that Killian was in trouble.
Someone I cared about needed me.
Even if he had just rejected me.
My body distorted and reshaped, bones breaking and muscles twisting, every nerve alive with pain. Finally, my wolf surged forward, powerful and certain.