Chapter 6 Gabe
GABE
I’m just getting out of the shower and drying off when I hear the doorbell ring. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest because the only person it can be is Shelly, and she doesn’t just stop by on a weekday when it’s her week with Amber.
Unless something happened with Amber. Goddamn.
I hate being a parent only half of the time.
I want to always know what’s going on with my kid.
I wrap a towel around my waist and haul ass to my front door, nearly falling on my ass when I trip over one of Amber’s toys.
But I waste no time tearing the door open, finding a surprised-looking Shelly.
“Shell? Is Amber okay?”
Her face softens, and then the woman chuckles. Okay. So I’m assuming our daughter is fine, and I nearly broke my neck opening the door for nothing. Awesome.
“Why don’t you go get dressed?” She raises her brow at me, looking me up and down and shaking her head. Not like she hasn’t seen it all before.
I huff. “Why don’t you just tell me why you’re here? Amber really is okay?”
She walks into my house, closing the door behind herself. “She is. I’d tell you if she wasn’t. She’s having fun with Randy. They’re cooking dinner together.”
I forgot Randy can cook. And real gourmet sort of stuff too. Amber loves it. I, however, burn toast. So there’s that.
“Go get dressed. I’ll wait and then we’re going to have a little talk,” she says, making her way to my couch and making herself at home. Well, I guess at least someone feels at home here.
I know I’m not getting off the hook, so I go back to my bedroom, pulling on a pair of underwear, sweats, and a T-shirt before tossing the towel into the hamper. I make my way down the hall, back to Shelly, annoyed she’s here and probably wanting to talk about her news.
“Okay, let’s hear it.” I plop down in my comfy chair, feeling like a petulant child about to get a lecture.
“You had to know this was coming. I’m not letting you get away with not talking about this, Gabe.”
“Why does it matter?” I ask her, dead serious. Why does she care? She didn’t care when she tossed our marriage away. “You’re happy, and I said congratulations.”
She rolls her eyes at me the way that used to drive me absolutely insane, and I guess it still does. “You didn’t mean it.”
“Seriously?” I cock my head at her. “I didn’t sound enthusiastic enough? You’re my ex-wife, and you’re having a baby with another man. I’m as happy as I can be about that.”
She’s pouting now, but she’s also pissed off. And that’s just fine by me. I’m not in the mood to talk about this shit, and it makes me even more angry because I had a pretty good day.
Pouring the foundation for the greenhouse with Dakota was a hell of a lot more pleasant than this is. And not because Dakota was all that friendly. I smile, thinking about the way he shoved water at me like it was a huge inconvenience but still had to do it for his own conscience.
“I want you to be actually happy about it. I want you to be okay with this.”
I snort. “You don’t need my permission to have a baby.”
“You’re damn right, I don’t,” she says, folding her arms and sitting with her back straight. She isn’t showing much yet, but I do notice a little bump forming. She softens quickly, though, and drops her hands down to her lap.
“Why do you care what I think then?” I ask her, keeping my tone even.
“Because we’re telling Amber soon.”
“You haven’t told her yet?”
She purses her lips and shakes her head, a look of deep concern on her face. “I needed to talk to you again first.”
“I think she’s going to notice soon,” I say, nodding to her slightly protruding belly. “The kid is smart.”
“I know that.” She looks almost nervous as she tucks her long hair behind her ear and meets my eyes. “And I’m worried about how she’s going to take it.”
“Amber will be thrilled to be a big sister.” My heart lurches into my throat with that sentence because I know it’s true. And I’m happy for my little girl, but I thought I’d be the one to make her a big sister. Shell and me.
“I know she’ll be but not if you’re not. She’ll watch for how you respond, and she’ll match that energy.”
That makes me scoff. “Oh please. Amber does what Amber wants. That kid thinks on her own.”
“You’re her hero, Gabe.” She looks pointedly at me, like I’m missing something. “If you seem upset by this baby, she’ll wonder why. And she might end up resenting the whole thing. You’re her favorite person.”
“Unless she wakes up scared at night.”
Shelly frowns and then shakes her head. “She wants me when she’s scared in the middle of the night. But she always wakes up and asks for you. She talks about you nonstop. She loves you with all her heart.”
“I love her too,” I say, my voice stern and serious. There’s nothing I love more in this world than that little girl. “And I’ll act happy.”
She winces and looks away from me. I know I’m such an asshole, but it’s going to take time.
“I won’t ruin this for you or for her, okay?” Her gaze lands on me again, but she doesn’t look convinced. “I won’t,” I say firmly.
“I want you to be happy too, Gabe.”
“I’m plenty happy,” I say, trying not to fidget in my chair with the uncomfortable feeling inside me. “I am.” I don’t know who I’m trying to convince more.
She shakes her head at me, a slight smile on her lips now. “Amber deserves two happy parents.”
Ouch, Shelly. Way to hit me where it really hurts.
“I am happy . . .”
“Gabe.” She shakes her head at me, and I don’t let her continue because I don’t want to hear it.
“I am. Hell, they put me on all the grumpy cases at work because I’m so happy, they think I can cheer them up or something.”
“Or maybe you’re just really good at pretending.”
“Damn, Shelly, tell me how you really feel.” I try to keep the hurt out of my voice, but it doesn’t quite happen.
“I’m never going to take it easy on you, Gabe. You can take it.” She grins now, and I roll my eyes.
Nothing with us was ever easy. We fought all the damn time, and when we were younger, I thought it was passion, but as we got older, it just became exhausting. And then we kind of just stopped talking at all to avoid the fighting.
“You need to open yourself up to new things. Meet a nice woman. Settle down. Maybe have a couple of babies of your own.”
“I have a baby, thanks.”
She doesn’t take the bait of me being a shithead though, and she doesn’t drop it. “There’s trivia night at the bar this Thursday. There’ll be lots of single women there.”
“No,” I shut that down instantly.
“You love trivia!” she says excitedly. “It could be really fun. In fact, I know a couple of horny moms at the school who constantly drool over your ass at pickup who’ll be there.”
I snort. “They tell you they drool over my ass?”
“All the time,” she says with an exaggerated huff, but I don’t think she’s actually annoyed by it at all. She seems to enjoy teasing me. “It’s gross. They can’t stop asking about you and how you’re doing when I show up to pick up Amber instead of you.”
“You’re not supposed to set up your ex-husband.”
She waves me off. “Why not? I’m happy, and I want you to be happy.”
I sour and don’t really know why. I am happy, damn it. I swear I am. “I’ll think about it.”
She stands up from her seat and walks closer to me. “I hope you will. You’re a good man, Gabe. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy.”
I grunt, and she rolls her eyes again before leaning down to kiss my cheek. “Just think about it.”
And with that, she’s gone, leaving me to sit there and think about how little I want to go to trivia night with a bunch of strangers and start over.
No, thank you.