Chapter 21 Gabe
GABE
Isit up with a jolt, totally out of it, but then I realize what woke me up and grab my phone. I see Shelly’s name there and instantly hit accept. “Hello?”
“Gabe? Hey, finally.”
“What?” I look over at the clock by my bed and see it’s close to two in the morning. I’m not sure what time Dakota and I fell asleep after our second shower of the night, but I don’t think it was that long ago.
“I sent a text and then I called, but you didn’t pick up.” My heart is slamming into my chest as a sense of dread washes over me. I look over at Dakota, who’s still fast asleep, and climb out of my bed.
“What’s wrong? Is Amber okay?”
“She’s fine, but we’re at your front door.”
“You’re what?” I whisper-shout and cringe when I see Dakota roll over on my bed, but thankfully, I didn’t wake him. I get lost in how cute he looks in the dim moonlight shining through my window, cuddling back into my pillow. Total bed-hog, that one.
“I’m at your front door with your daughter.” Shelly sounds impatient, and oh yeah, she’s here. What the hell is going on?
I still can’t hide my worry, and thankfully, I tugged on a pair of boxers before passing out with Dakota in my arms, so I make my way to the front door. Sure enough, Amber and Shelly are waiting not too patiently when I pull it open.
Amber has a little jacket on with her backpack and stuffy. “What’s going on?” My voice is gruff with worry and sleep, but Shelly isn’t taking my shit.
Giving me a no-nonsense look, she folds her arms over her swollen little belly. She’s really starting to show now. “She’s fine, Gabe.”
“No, I not!” Amber says in that pouty little voice I can’t ever say no to and seems to melt my brain.
“What’s wrong?” I kneel down to look into her eyes, seeing they’re wet and red.
Her little arms go around my neck, and I pick her up to hold onto her. “Daddy?” her little voice says into my ear, and I notice she’s pulling back a little and looking behind me. “Who’s that?”
“Oh shit.” I hear Dakota’s voice just as I turn around to see him standing there, looking adorably sleepy. He has on a pair of boxer briefs—thank fuck—but his hair is a mess, all haphazard, probably from my fingers stroking through the strands as we fell asleep.
“Potty mouth!” Amber says and squeezes my neck tight.
“Oh my God,” Dakota gasps softly and puts a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide. “I can’t believe this is my first impression on your daughter. I should go.”
He starts to leave, and I’ve never felt panic like I do right now in my life, and that’s saying a lot because—well, I’m a father of a little girl. I put Amber down quickly, kissing her cheek. “I’ll explain in a minute.” I rush over to Dakota and grab his hand gently. “Don’t go.”
His eyes meet mine, and I can see how horrified he is. “I’m so sorry. I heard noises, and I didn’t think . . .”
“Dakota,” I say firmly and then trap his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. And I’m fully aware we have an audience right now—a very confused ex-wife and daughter—so I don’t kiss him like I want to. But God, do I want to. “Go back to bed.”
“What?” He looks at me horrified. “N—no. I should go.”
I don’t release his face from my hands. “No.” I say it again, keeping my voice sure because I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. “I want you to stay. Go back to bed. I’ll be in there soon.”
His lips part slowly and then close. And then part again, but I look him straight in the eyes and tell him with my gaze not to argue. I can’t lose him. I can’t. And I won’t. “Are you sure?” he asks so quietly, it nearly shatters my heart.
No one has ever cherished him. I’m starting to realize that. No one ever put him as a priority in their lives. He thought I’d toss him away after one tiny little thing like this? We’re going to have to fix that.
But first, I need to figure out why Shelly and Amber are here.
I can’t help myself and lean in, pressing the softest, quick kiss against his lips before releasing him. “I’m sure. I’ll be in soon.”
He nods his head slowly, looking over my shoulder at Amber and Shell one last time, his cheeks fully red before he heads back to my room. I wait for the soft click of the bedroom door before I walk back over to Shelly and my daughter. Both are staring at me with curious expressions.
“Who is that?” Amber asks.
“We’ll talk about that later.” I motion for them both to come inside, and they do. I close the door and then focus on Amber. “What happened tonight?”
“There was a spider, Daddy! It was huge and scary! In my room!”
“You aren’t afraid of spiders,” I say because I’ve seen grown men scream on the job many times when they come in to contact with a spider or snake, but my daughter is likely to adopt them.
“I was asleep! They aren’t supposed to be in my room!”
Okay. Logical, I guess. “Okay, so you woke Mommy and Randy?”
“Yes,” she says, little hands on her hips. “But then, Randy killed it!”
Oh boy. Here we go. I look up at Shelly, who shakes her head and rolls her eyes, but there’s amusement too because we both find our daughter pretty cute. Even when she’s being dramatic.
“What did you want him to do?” I ask her.
“Not kill it!” she screeches and then rubs her little eyes with her hand, and I laugh, shaking my head. “We don’t kill spiders, Daddy. We trap them, and we take them outside.”
I laugh. “I guess we haven’t told Randy that rule yet.”
She pouts, and I chuckle. “Okay, so you want to spend the night here?”
“Yes,” she says, like there was no question and it was dumb to even ask. God, I love this kid.
“Okay.” I look at Shelly. “I’ll be right back. Going to get her settled.”
She nods at me and then makes herself comfortable on my couch before I take Amber’s hand and walk her to her bedroom. I glance at my bedroom door as we walk past, silently pleading with Dakota to not be freaking out too much, but I need to get Amber and Shelly settled first.
Then, with any luck, he’ll let me hold him and soothe him back to sleep.
I take off Amber’s jacket, and thankfully, she’s still wearing pajamas, so I tuck her into her bed with her stuffy of choice. “Daddy, who is that man?”
I take a deep breath and let it out. Okay, so this isn’t exactly how I planned for my daughter to meet him, but I’m not as freaked out by the whole situation as I should be. Still, do I have an answer for that? “His name is Dakota, and uh . . .”
“Is he your boyfriend? Like Randy was to Mommy?”
“Would that be okay?” I check. Though if she said no, it wouldn’t be the end of the conversation. I love the hell out of my daughter, but I can’t let Dakota go. We’d just have to work through it. That’s all.
She frowns, and oh no. Is she going to have a problem with this? “He has a potty mouth.”
A startled laugh falls from my mouth, and I tussle her hair lovingly. “Not usually.”
She thinks about that for a minute. “Okay.”
“That’s it?” I watch her, waiting for more because my daughter always has a lot to say, and I’m always happy to listen.
She shrugs. “Do you looove him?” Her little voice is light and playful, a giggle falling from her mouth.
I know she’s teasing me, but the feeling in my chest at her question, this light, floating feeling—the same one I get every time I’m around Dakota . . . I lean down closer to her and whisper, “Can you keep a secret?”
She holds out her little pinky to me, and I smile, wrapping my pinky around hers as she nods.
“I think I do.”
She smiles and then yawns and settles back into her pillow. “Okay, but tell him we don’t kill spiders.”
I laugh. “I will. Would you like to meet him in the morning?” I ask cautiously. If she’s not ready for that, I understand. And if Dakota isn’t ready either, it’ll be a little disappointing, I can’t lie, but I’ll understand.
“Sure,” she says it so easily, and it makes me smile as I brush her hair out of her eyes, watching them fall closed.
“He makes really good blueberry pancakes. So he says. I haven’t tried them yet.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” she says, but her words are a little slurred because the kid is already almost all the way out.
I kiss her cheek and then leave her room, closing the door behind me softly and then heading into the living room.
I’m not sure how I feel as I walk to the couch Shelly is sitting on, waiting expectantly, and take a seat on the opposite side. “Go ahead.” Giving her permission to ask whatever she wants to.
I’m sure she has plenty of questions. I look down at the floor and see all of Dakota’s and my clothes from earlier lying around. Probably should get that cleaned up.
She doesn’t say anything for a really long time though, and I’m about to say something when she opens her mouth, an awkward laugh tumbling from her mouth. “I’m trying to find a way to not be offensive or rude . . .”
That makes me laugh, probably a little too loudly. “Shelly, we were married. You can’t offend me. I even watched you give birth to our daughter.”
She rolls her eyes and then tosses a throw pillow at my head. “You didn’t tell me you were dating someone. Are you dating?”
I grin. “Yeah.” I catch the pillow and situate it behind my back. “Yeah, I am.”
“O—kay . . .” She’s still being careful, which is so un-Shelly. “I’m sorry. I just . . . I’m taken off guard, I think. You fought me so hard about going to trivia night, but is that because you’re not into women?” Her eyes are wide, and I see all the questions floating in them.
“I didn’t want to be set up by my ex-wife,” I say. “Or anyone, for that matter.”
She processes that and tucks her hair behind her ears. “Okay, please don’t take this the wrong way . . .”
“Just ask, Shell.”
“He’s a man . . .” I smirk. “Shut up.” I laugh. “I just didn’t know you were into guys. Which is great. It’s not a problem, obviously.”
I laugh again because she’s flustered, and I’m not used to seeing that with her. “I know that, Shelly. You’re friends with pretty much everyone at Oakley’s Crew. I honestly thought you’d get them in the divorce.”
That makes her smile. Thank God.
I sigh. “I didn’t know I was into guys either, and quite frankly, I still don’t know if I am or not.
” She looks at the clothes scattered on the floor, and her brow raises, and I get it.
It’s confusing to me too. “I always knew when someone was attractive, guys and women, but I didn’t want to bang them. ”
A startled laugh falls from her lips again, and she blushes. “What about me?” She looks worried now, a look of horror washing over her face. “Oh God, you weren’t forcing yourself every time we—”
“No,” I stop her instantly. I will never let her think that.
“No,” I say it again, firmer this time to get her attention.
“I don’t know how to explain it, Shelly.
I was attracted to you. I knew you were pretty, and then we fell in love.
I was deeply in love with you and everything we had together—none of it was forced.
” I need her to know this. I wasn’t some tortured man locked in a closet.
I did love her. I was sexually attracted to her.
I loved having sex with her, but when we started fighting so much, that’s when it all started to fade.
I can see her thinking, maybe still unsure. “And then after we got divorced . . .” She prods.
“Then I just wasn’t interested in anyone. Until Dakota.”
She must see something on my face, and I’m sure it’s the dumbass grin that always seems to be there when I think of that man. “Wow.”
“What?” I ask but can’t wipe the smile off my face.
“I’m just not used to you looking like that about anyone else.”
I laugh, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I know. It still grosses me out seeing you and Randy all goofy in love.”
“Is that what this is?” she asks me carefully, and I’m still smiling.
I don’t know if I should tell another person I’m in love with Dakota before I tell him, so I keep my lips locked. “I’m sorry, Shell. I planned to tell you but definitely not like this.”
She waves me off and struggles to get up off the couch with her pregnant belly but manages. “He’s hot. Wasn’t a hardship.”
I laugh and pretend to scowl at her as I stand up. “That’s my man. Keep your eyes to yourself.”
She cackles at that. “I’ll be back to get the kid tomorrow. Have fun.”
“Do you mind if she meets him?” I ask on our way to the front door. I’m not sure how I’ll feel if she says no, but we can discuss it.
Again, she just waves me off. “Nah. I think it’s adorable. Finally, Gabe.” She squishes my cheek. “All in loooove again.”
I roll my eyes at her, trying to give back her signature look, and she just laughs. “See you tomorrow.”
“Get home safe.”
“I think I’ll manage,” she sasses before heading out to her car. I watch her pull away and then hurry to my bedroom, relieved to see Dakota is still in my bed, though he’s sitting straight up and tense.
That just won’t do.
I walk over and kiss the tip of his nose before climbing into the bed and wrapping my arms around him, pulling him to lie down with me under the covers.
I feel the moment his whole body relaxes.
“I’m so sorry,” he softly whispers. “That’s not how I wanted to meet your daughter and your ex-wife.”
I snuggle into him. “Hey, Shelly was drooling a little, but other than that, it could have been worse,” I tease.
“You’re not mad?” he checks.
“Not even a little bit. That wasn’t your fault at all. I’d go check if I woke up and heard voices too. And I wanted you to meet them. Thank fuck you weren’t totally naked though.”
I can feel him smiling now, and his body relaxes into me even more. “Sounds like your ex would have been okay with that.”
I let out a possessive growl and wrap my arms around him a little tighter.
“I’m gay, Gabe. Remember?”
“She’s not,” I say, my voice still a little growly, but he doesn’t seem to mind if his deep chuckles says anything about it. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this settled in my life. This content. “I love you,” I whisper into his ear so softly, I’m not certain he even hears it.
But the tension is back in his body as he slowly rolls over to face me.
“You don’t have to say it back. But I want you to know.” I brush a hand over his cheek. “I’m in love with you, and I want you to stay.” I lean forward and press a kiss to his lips. “And I want you to meet Amber in the morning. But only if you want to. Properly.”
His mouth parts slowly, and I hold my breath as I wait for his answer. “Okay.”
I feel like fist-pumping, I’m so damn happy, but I just kiss his lips again. “And I may have promised her blueberry pancakes.”
Finally, he relaxes again and rolls back over so I can spoon him. “I can do pancakes.”
“She’ll be the judge of that,” I say and kiss his neck.
I revel in the way his body fits against mine and the fact that I know, without even having to see his face, that he’s smiling.