17. Leni
Chapter 17
Leni
I taste Talon’s surprise as I kiss him. I know I’m throwing a lot at him but God, do I want—no need—this man to remind me that I’m not broken.
I am worthy. I am enough.
And his words—God, those words saved a part of my soul.
I’m blurring every goddamn line and, Len, I don’t care. I care about you and your safety. Your happiness. I don’t want you to carry around shame or guilt or whatever. I want you to find your sunshine again and I want to help you do it.
I shift closer and as I deepen our kiss, Talon wakes up. His hand cups my cheek as he kisses me back. Tentatively, sweet and soft at first. And then harder, with an edge.
“Len…” He breaks away, resting his forehead against mine. “Baby, we?—”
“Please, Talon.” I don’t even care how needy I sound. For months, I’ve been questioning myself. For weeks, I’ve been mentally berating myself. And now, I’ve worked up the courage to confide in this man and he…he gave me unconditional grace. He gave me his love and light.
He gave me himself. And I want all of him.
“I need you,” I admit.
His eyes flash. They darken. And then, they smolder—all intensity and desire.
“Leni, you just admitted some really heavy things. Maybe?—”
“I know what I want, Talon,” I cut him off, understanding his line of thinking. Loving him more for it. But… “This isn’t a desperate, throw caution-to-the-wind decision. I’ve wanted you for weeks. We’ve been skirting around it but, Talon, the feelings I have for you, they’re real. You’ve healed parts of me you don’t know about. And I want this. I want you.”
“Christ.” He sounds physically pained. He rolls his lips together as I run my fingers across the scruff of his jawline. His breath hitches and his hold on my side tightens. “If we do this, Leni, it’s real. I won’t be able to walk away. Or pretend it was a weekend thing. Or hide us from your father and the team. You’re the only woman I’ve ever had these feelings for, and I’ve been in the game a long fucking time, baby. Either this is real, or we’re just friends. No matter what, I’ll always have your back. I’ll help you through whatever comes next. But baby, this doesn’t just blur a line. It crosses it completely.”
It’s exactly what I hoped he’d say. Still, hearing him voice his want for me—for real—causes relief and hope to roll through my body. Talon’s assurances mix with the desire already sparking to life. “I want to cross every line with you,” I admit.
He breathes out, his eyes holding mine.
A knock at the door sounds. “Room service.”
Talon snorts and shakes his head, starting to shift off the bed.
“Leave it,” I say, not wanting anything to interrupt this moment. “I want you, Talon.” I look right into his eyes when I say it. “I wasn’t a girl who cowered. I used to know what I wanted and asked for it. The version of myself I became… I’m not proud of it. But I’m finding my way again and you’ve been a big part of that. I know how I feel about you. I know what I want with you. I want this.” I gesture between us before dropping my hand to his thigh.
“Room service.” Another knock on the door.
“I’ll be right there; you can leave it,” Talon calls out.
I grin, biting my bottom lip.
He shakes his head. “You’re going to be the end of me, Leni.”
And then, we both move forward, meet in the middle, our lips crashing together. I move up onto my knees as Talon’s arms wrap around my middle, one hand landing in the center of my back to anchor me to him. As he pulls me closer, my breasts flatten against his chest and the contact alone is stimulating. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to free-fall into a feeling, a moment, with a man and not be afraid.
As I reclaim parts of myself, giddiness strums through me. I kiss Talon deeply and he meets me eagerly, our tongues caressing and discovering each other. He tastes like mint and summer and hope.
My hands grip the hem of his shirt. I pull it up his body slowly, leaning back to appreciate the muscles that ripple underneath. Washboard abs, a toned torso, perfect pecs. His shirt clears his head and then, his strong arms close around me again, pushing me onto my back as he covers my body with his.
I laugh.
He grins. “Is this okay?” His voice is soft.
“More than okay.” I wrap my legs around his waist and hook my right ankle over my left foot.
“If anything doesn’t feel good or isn’t what you want, what you like?—”
“I’ll tell you,” I promise.
He holds my eyes for a beat, as if gauging the sincerity of my declaration. Then, he lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me again. Deeply and passionately.
Talon’s hands slide up my body, underneath the thin material of my button-down. One hand covers the cup of my bra and squeezes my breast playfully before tugging it down to roll my nipple between his fingers. I gasp, arching into him.
His tongue dives into my mouth as my core rubs against his growing erection.
And fuck, does it feel good. I whimper from the contact alone, slowly grinding against him.
He hisses and then rolls to the side, one of his large hands traveling down my body, before slipping into my panties. His fingers part me and I moan.
“Fuck, Leni, you’re soaked.” His voice deepens.
I clutch his forearm, as if to keep his hand between my legs. I need the contact, the friction, the release.
“How long has it been?” Talon presses as his fingers drag through my folds before starting to circle my clit.
“Too long,” I practically pant.
“Fuck, baby.” He kisses me hard.
And then, I feel him everywhere. His mouth at my ear, his lips on my neck. His hand on my breast, one between my thighs. He travels down my body slowly, taking time to push my shirt all the way up, over my breasts. They’re trussed up on top of the cups of my bra and I’m too damn turned on to care how I look one way or another.
Talon peels my shorts and panties down my legs and discards them. His knees hit the floor, and he tugs my legs to the edge of the bed, tossing them over his shoulders.
“Fuck, your pussy is so damn pretty, baby. Glistening for me like this,” he growls, his eyes drinking me in.
“Talon,” I whimper.
“Tell me you want this, Leni.”
“I want it so badly,” I admit, my eyes watching him as he takes his fill. Then, he braces his forearms on either side of my thighs, dips his head, and drags his tongue over my core.
I buck against him, the contact too much. Too damn good.
Talon begins to lick and suck, his tongue swirling around my clit. He pushes a finger inside and I gasp. Before I fully adjust, he adds a second finger, and my eyes nearly roll back in my head. The fullness stretches me deliciously. That, coupled with how he laps at my clit, drives me wild.
Talon thoroughly consumes me.
Higher and higher. My body responds to his touches instantly.
But it’s the mental freedom. The clarity. The desire that has no strings attached that drives me over the edge.
“Talon!” I cry out his name.
He responds by quickening the pace of his fingers and sucking so damn hard on my clit, I can hear my arousal smack against his lips.
I come for him. Hard and fast and desperately.
“Oh, God,” I breathe out, my hand reaching down.
He grabs my fingers and holds. “Christ, but you’re fucking gorgeous.”
I chuckle, the sound filled with awe. “I’ve never… God, it’s been so long.”
Talon crawls up my frame. “I love that I can make you feel good, Leni.”
I wrap my legs around his waist again. “I want to make you feel good, too.”
He smirks and brushes my hair back from my face. “There’s no rush, baby.”
And I love how he gives me an out. Makes this about me and my needs. But doesn’t he realize how much I need him?
“I’m not rushing it. I want you,” I repeat.
Something that looks a lot like hope shimmers in his gaze as he lowers his head and kisses me hard. I taste myself on his lips and moan into his mouth.
“So fucking sweet,” he says, lining up at my entrance. Then, he pauses. “Fuck, babe. I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on birth control. The shot,” I explain.
Talon lets out a shaky breath.
I tilt my pelvis up, dragging my swollen pussy against his rock-hard erection.
He moans, his eyes dropping to half-mast.
“I’m clean,” I assure him. “I got tested…after.”
“I’m clean too,” he says, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “And I don’t ever mess around without a condom.”
Shit. I nod, dropping my ass back to the bed. “I understand. I?—”
His hands find my hips and he squeezes. “I didn’t mean you, Leni. I fucking want this. I just want to make sure?—”
“I’m sure.”
The muscle in his jaw tics once. “Fuck me,” he growls before kissing me hard. Then, he enters me on a sharp thrust, and I cry out in pleasure, turning my head to the side.
Talon slides all the way home, and then holds himself still so I can adjust to his size. Which is extra fucking large. But it feels incredible. Powerful.
He pulls out slowly before entering me again. Our eyes hold and I note the awe that shimmers in his irises. Warmth spreads through my limbs and a calmness I’ve never experienced before follows. I slide my palm across his cheek, the edges of my fingers disappearing into his dark hair. He leans into my touch and it’s involuntary. Natural.
Time stands still and peace consumes me. Talon dips his mouth to brush his lips across mine and I melt. With Talon, I feel complete in a way I never have with a man before.
Worthy and enough. Whole.
His body shields mine; his arms bracket me into a little cocoon, and lying beneath him, I feel so safe and taken care of that tears prick my eyes.
“Leni,” he murmurs, concern shadowing his eyes.
“I don’t deserve you, Talon.”
Talon snorts and brushes his lips softly against mine. “No, Sunshine. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you. But fuck if I’m not going to try.”
Then, he sets a rhythmic pace, and our bodies come together, finally catching up to our minds. Our hearts.
We come apart at the seams simultaneously. And in that moment, we come together too.
“This is the best cold hamburger I’ve ever had,” Talon says as we sit in bed, our dinner spread out around us, and watch reruns on television.
I laugh, popping a lukewarm fry in my mouth. “I’m fuller than I’ve been in a long time.”
Talon snickers, catching my double entendre. “Good.” He pinches my side. “You need to eat, baby. And I intend to feed you every chance I get.”
I roll my eyes and take a sip of my Coke.
We hang out the rest of the evening and it’s normal. Easy.
We eat and talk. Watch television and snuggle.
I fall asleep in my button-down shirt and panties. Talon stretches out beside me in his boxers. Sometime during the night, he wraps his arms around me and tugs me against his chest.
And I sleep soundly. No nightmares, no fear.
It’s the best sleep I’ve had in over a year.
When I wake in the morning, I look directly into Talon’s heather gray eyes. “Did all of that really happen?”
He smiles. “Yeah. And it’s just the beginning, Leni.”