Chapter 38 Silas
Seven Years Ago
“Are you okay?” Her face is flushed, but she stares up at me, smiling. I’m still buried deep in her as I catch my breath. She gave her innocence to me. It was sweet, and I couldn’t resist myself from wanting more. The sight of her blood on my cock drove me mad. It felt like a sacrificial offering. A blood oath between her and me. I am the owner of her body and soul.
“You’re mine now.” She smiles, and I watch as she moves her hands up the sheets. She sticks out her pinky finger and offers it to me.
“You promise?” I ignore the childish binding. I run a finger over her bare chest where her heart lies.
“Cross my heart and hope to die.” She looks down and watches as I trace the imaginary heart. Her heart, my new lifeline.
“What are you thinking?” Fuck. Am I really turning into that guy? The “What are you thinking” after sex guy? She smiles up at me and pulls my head to hers.
“Let’s do it again.” Her whisper sends a wave of electricity straight to my cock.
The memory is on loop, and no amount of tequila is stopping it. The first time we had sex was the high I spent years chasing. It was my motivation on days when I couldn’t have her; it was the reasoning for all my madness. The reason I could still smell her on my skin and hear her in my dreams. That night, we didn’t just do it again; we did it all night. And somewhere, in all the consummating, we created a child. I look down at my phone, still frustrated that Aurelio is ignoring my texts and calls.
Silas: You didn’t think it was important to tell me I had a child?
Aurelio: Call me when you’re not drunk.
I play with Thalia’s ring on the counter. I pick up the bottle of 1800 and press my lips to the rim. The warm liquor burns down my throat. I go back to my phone to reread the text message that fucked everything up.
Jasper: Felicidades, you are the father!
“Am I invited to your pity party?” I look up to see Ale standing with her arms crossed, staring at me.
“Go away.”
I am still mad at her and Efren for keeping the information from me. They knew the night we broke into Kiko’s office. It had been Claudia threatening Thalia the whole time, to get her to sign over the property. Ale lifts her hands in surrender and walks to the bottle. Pouring herself a shot, she stares up and down at me.
“All this, and I never thought you one for giving up,” she says.
“She lied to me,” I murmur.
“And you let her think you were dead for seven years.”
She grabs the bottle and walks back up to the room she is staying in. When I know for sure that she’s left, I dig into my pocket until I find the familiar feel of the dainty chain. I run my thumb over each letter, remembering the way it sat on her neck. “Consuelo.”
I’m not drunk, but I’m getting there. I would get drunk every night just to chase away the feeling of her lips on mine and her body entangled into me. The alcohol isn’t nearly enough to forget her existence. To forget the way her hand fit in mine or the way her moans tattooed themselves to my skin.
The little girl I had seen in the hallway was familiar. Not because of her resemblance to Thalia, but because of her resemblance to me. She had called me Prince Charming, but I am far from that. I hadn’t abandoned her, but these are the fucking consequences I had to pay for not going back for Thalia when I should have. At some point, I would have to explain to my child why I wasn’t there for her. The day I saw Ivan punch Thalia, I hadn’t reacted fast enough. I saw Patricio step in right away, and I felt ashamed. I was nineteen, and in my head, I thought if I couldn’t step in to help Thalia, then I didn’t deserve her. Not until I could be that man.
So, I left. Taught myself to remove emotions and use my impulses to my advantage. Now, those same impulses tell me to run after her. I fucked up once, and I won’t be able to survive if something happens to her now. I spent seven years torturing myself with thoughts of who she was and how I would feel when I finally got her back. The memories of these last few months would do nothing but torture me. I won’t be satisfied without her because she is mine. And she is irreplaceable. I throw my phone on the counter when I hear a familiar sinister laugh. I hadn’t even heard the sly bastard come in.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I curse at Axel standing in front of me.
Uninvited.
The asshole is wearing a black suit with diamond cufflinks. He straightens the lapels of his suit jacket, then looks at the empty tequila bottles. He’s also on my shit list for not telling me about Lucia.
Four Years Ago
“You drop off the flowers?” I say. Axel sends a jab to my left cheek, and I block him.
“Yup.” The motherfucker likes to play with me like that. Axel Reyes is everything a psychologist warned women about. Narcissistic, manipulative, and down-right psychotic. I only tolerate him because he is the only son of a bitch crazier than me who understands my obsession with Thalia.
Axel knows how to get under my skin. He mistakes my need for information as a friendship. His brother ignores him, and his sister loathes him. He required one condition in exchange for his spying, and that was a favor. In our world, if you bargain a favor, that bargain was met. One day, he would come to me to cash in that favor, and I would honor it. The thought is scary, considering the malicious thoughts that roam freely through Axel’s brain. But it was a deal I was willing to make for her.
“Son of a bitch!” Axel says when I uppercut him. Adan watches from the sidelines; he is the best boxer of the three of us and would be facing the winner. This is how we pass time when we aren’t training. Axel is not just hitting me physically, he is also playing another game. He knows what I want, but he wants me to ask. He wants me to beg.
I wait until I win the fight and stare at him. He has a smug smile on his face, and I’m tempted to start hitting him all over again.
“She’s still single.” He laughs. “Single, but she has the sex drive of a rabbit and a body count that would put Hugh Hefner to shame.”
I turn around and land a punch to his face.
I honor that memory by jumping off the counter and landing a punch to the side of his face. His eyes flare, but his only reaction is a manic laugh.
“Sensitive, are we?” he says, stretching out his jaw and cracking his neck.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I say.
“You never asked if you had a child, Silas. You only asked me to tell you if Thalia was seriously dating anyone.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I’m not in the mood to be mind-fucked by Axel.
“Ale didn’t tell you? She has a new job,” he replies.
I look up the stairs and listen to the commotion. I guess I had been more drunk than sober these past few weeks. I didn’t realize Ale was leaving. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a pile of papers.
“I come bearing gifts,” he taunts, his manic smile still plastered to his face.
I push the papers away, uninterested in whatever Axel is up to.
“I’m not in the mood. No me chingues.” Don’t fuck with me, I warn. Not today.
“And what are you in the mood for, Silas? Really, you look pathetic right now. I’m embarrassed for you,” he says.
I contemplate punching him again, but stop at the footsteps coming from behind me. Ale makes her way down the stairs, with a large suitcase behind her. She looks at me and winces at the sight. Everyone appears to be unimpressed with my new drinking habit. Everyone can fuck off for all I care. Thalia lied to me. I gave her several opportunities to tell me about Lucia, and she lied. And then my own mother took her side. I can still feel the sting from where she slapped me. So, I would support the local liquor store until I forgot about all of it. I would drink until this ache in my chest went away.
“Leaving so soon?” I say to Ale, my eyes looking over her packed bags.
“Axel offered me a job,” she replies.
“A job? You work for me!” I slam my fist down on the counter. My words are slurring. Ale sighs before leaning in toward me. Her voice is sympathetic.
“Silas, you don’t need me right now. Axel’s company needs female bodyguards, and if I can protect someone and make a difference, then that’s where I need to be.”
Fuck Axel. He had been trying to get Ale to help him with his new business, which seems like his sick way of getting what he wants. Which, last I checked, is a green-eyed Russian mob princess. He started an entire business to gain control of her, while the world sees him as a savior.
“Adios.” I wave at them.
“Silas, you’re a fucking mess right now. And judging by the looks of those papers, things are about to get a hell of a lot messier,” Ale says.
I look down at the papers Axel had set down. The words look blurry, so I bring them closer to read. I blink a few times until the words become visible. One word that throws itself in my face. Divorce. I stand up but stumble the moment I do. Ale catches me. Their voices mumble together, and for a moment, I see two of each of them. I think I fall, but I don’t hit anything hard. My eyes are closed, but I can hear their voices.
“You fucking Maciases are all so hard-headed,” Axel grunts out.
“And you Reyes are all fucking psychopaths! Just move him to the sofa,” Ale says.
I feel my body lifting before I hit a soft surface. I hear the door close, and it’s the last thing I hear before they leave me alone. I let the sleep take me, and I dream about the devil, in her red bottom shoes and black lipstick. Divorce? Over my dead fucking body.