Chapter Five #2
He could remind Adryan of how he had thrown the first bread roll at his head when Michael had encouraged all the students in the cafeteria to throw their food at him. Then his father beat him up at home for coming home with his clothes dirty.
He could show Adryan the scars dragging from his knee to halfway up his left thigh, from when Michael and Shane had pushed him into the barbed wire.
He watched Adryan as he tried to make sense of all the thoughts suddenly fighting to get out. Adryan stood there, a sense of pleading in his eyes, not quite knowing what to do with his hands.
Madden sighed.
‘Never mind,’ he said, pushing all those feelings down. ‘It was a long time ago.’ He wondered if his words sounded as meaningless to Adryan as they sounded in his own ears.
Adryan’s face relaxed slightly. He was clearly as keen to revisit those years as Madden. It was best to let it go. After all, he would go home soon and never see him again.
Adryan looked around as if there would be something there to distract from the awkwardness.
He pushed his sleeves above his elbows, the tendons and muscles in his forearms tensing, forcing Madden to follow their lines to Adryan’s powerful hands.
He swallowed, unable to take his eyes off them as the man went around the room picking up rubbish.
‘I can do that,’ he said, frowning.
‘Can you?’ Adryan asked, without looking back at him. ‘It’s fine.’
Madden was feeling too hot. He wanted to open the window. He wanted to take a shower. He mostly wanted to be left alone and get rid of this weird tension.
‘Look, thank you for the food. Tell your mom I really appreciate it and—’
‘I will,’ Adryan said, now looking at his watch, ‘but if you don’t rush, we won’t make it to your appointment.’
‘My what?’
‘I’m going to take you to the hospital.’
Madden didn’t know what to say, conflicted between the practicality of it all and his desire to be as far away from Adryan as he could.
‘I need to get ready,’ he said after a moment, as Adryan kept tidying up his room in what must be the most absurd scenario he had ever lived through.
‘Well, come on then.’ The other man straightened up to face him.
Madden hesitated, then nodded, and made his way to the bathroom, only to see that Adryan was following him.
‘Where are you going?’
Adryan looked back at him, eyebrows high.
‘I’m going to help you.’
‘To get washed?’ Madden turned on his heels, shocked.
Adryan chuckled, a spark in his eyes that really lit up his features.
‘How do you expect to wash yourself one-handed?’
Madden hadn’t quite considered that. He hadn’t even been able to get his T-shirt off, but he was confident he could do his trousers at least. Adryan wouldn’t hear of it but there was no chance he was going to let Adryan anywhere near him.
‘I’m a health professional!’ he complained.
‘I don’t care.’
‘Fine, do your genitals and legs, and I’ll help you with your torso then.’
Madden didn’t answer, his jaw tensing.
‘It’s either that or I tell Dr. Wilson to have you admitted again, your call?’
Madden grunted, annoyed, and turned on his heels.
‘That’s what I thought,’ he heard the other man mutter as he closed the bathroom door.
There was no way he was opening that door again until he was fully dressed.
Or that’s what he thought. As it turned out, even his trousers and boxer shorts were difficult to take off one-handed. He managed, but not without sweating profusely with the effort, not to mention the awkward discomfort of his broken arm.
By the time he was done, he was exhausted and the idea of Adryan helping him wash was almost welcome.
But of course, it didn’t feel quite that way once he was in the room, especially as he helped him out of the T-shirt. His hands grazed his back, his torso, and every touch made him tenser. This was unnatural. Adryan touching him was unnatural.
Even more so when he ran the wet face towel over his chest, and under his arms, his hands and forearms stretching and tensing as he went.
‘All done,’ he said, smiling.
‘Right,’ Madden said, his voice small. ‘Thanks.’
The next problem was what to wear.
‘Why are all your clothes so tight?’ Adryan asked, trying to find something that would be comfortable for him to wear.
‘They’re not tight, they’re made to measure.’
Adryan looked at him, a bewildered expression on his face.
‘Of course they are,’ he said after a second, looking down at the options in front of him.
‘Well, I guess I don’t have a choice but to cut another T-shirt.
’ Adryan grabbed the plain blue T-shirt on top of the pile and searched in his bag, taking out scissors out of a medical drama.
‘I hope it’s not expensive,’ he said, as the blades cut through the fabric.
‘Not really. $300 or so, that one, I think.’
Adryan froze, the scissors halfway through a cut. He looked at Madden, then at the shirt.
‘Fuck,’ he heard him say under his breath, as he finished cutting the right sleeve.
Finally dressed, Adryan took him to the hospital talking non-stop. Dr. Wilson was pleased with how things were going, but he was there for a while since they had to change his cast. It had been falling down as the swelling on his arm had gone down.
After, Adryan bought him coffee at the hospital cafeteria and even opened his sugar for him. And then he drove him back to the hotel, still as spirited as when he had come through the door.
They sat in awkward silence in the car, outside the hotel, not knowing what to say, and Madden was having unwelcome flashbacks to being in the car on first dates with past flings.
‘Listen,’ Adryan said, after a moment, and Madden noticed he wasn’t looking his way. Instead, Adryan’s pretty blue eyes were looking somewhere in the distance. ‘I don’t mind helping you out.’
‘What do you mean?’ Madden asked, not quite making sense of the words he was hearing, no matter how plain they are.
‘I’m saying that if you need an errand-boy, I’m applying for the job.’ Adryan turned a wide smile to him now, the kind of smile so wide it couldn’t be anything other than oversweet and forced.
‘What is it you want?’ Madden asked, frowning. This was just too much to be done out of guilt for whatever happened that morning, and it was certainly not to do with whatever guilt Adryan carried from fifteen years ago.
Adryan paused, his smile only wavering for a second, but his body tensing further.
‘Funny you should mention that,’ Adryan began, and Madden forced himself not to roll his eyes.