Chapter Fifteen #2
‘I’m just a little tired,’ he said. ‘Maybe we can go back to your place and have a drink or something?’ Adryan looked up at him with his large blue eyes, and a soft smile on his lips. God, that face was making his heart race and it wasn’t just because of how much Madden wanted him.
‘Yes, of course.’
Madden was nervous going back to the apartment.
Adryan had been deadly quiet in the car, and felt so far away from him.
Their entire relationship had happened in a mediocre hotel in Troham, and Adryan hadn’t been in any of Madden’s personal spaces yet.
This wasn’t even his personal car, and of course, he didn’t use the helicopter for personal matters usually.
He wanted Adryan to see so much more of his real self, his everyday self.
The corners of his flat he liked the most, his favorite restaurants, the movies he watched over and over again.
He wanted, he realized, Adryan to have a space in his wardrobe, where he could put his own things.
Not that he would say any of that out loud just yet. He wasn’t entirely crazy.
They got back to the flat and he couldn’t deny it was a relief to walk into his own apartment after so many days back in the town from hell.
‘Make yourself comfortable,’ he told Adryan, walking into the living room.
The big sofa curved along the back wall, facing the floor-to-ceiling windows, the city lights pushing the night far away from them.
‘What do you want to drink?’ Madden went to the drinks cabinet, discreetly hidden under a panel on the sideboard.
‘Do you have beer?’ Adryan said, sitting down on the sofa, his legs pulled under him.
‘Of course.’ Madden left for the kitchen, keen to please Adryan.
‘Should I pour you something?’ He heard Adryan call.
‘Sure. Whiskey, please.’
Inside the fridge, the tins of beer were neatly lined up, together with bottles of mineral water and little else.
He had just picked a cold tin from the fridge when he heard the crash and the loud swearing.
‘Adryan?’ he called, rushing back.
He burst into the living room, heart racing, to find Adryan staring at the floor. The whiskey decanter and one of the glass tumblers lying on the ground, shattered against the cold tile.
‘I’m so sorry…’ Adryan said, his voice small. ‘I’ll pay for it, I’ll—’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Madden said. ‘Did you hurt yourself?’
He reached for Adryan’s hands, checking them front and back, but there were no cuts.
‘Stay there, I’ll get the brush.’
Madden came back quickly, finding Adryan exactly where he had left him. Concerned, he brushed the glass into the pan.
‘What’s going on, Adryan? Did I do something wrong?’ Madden asked, leaving the brush aside. He reached for Adryan, wanting to pull him into his arms, but Adryan stepped back.
‘No, of course not. It was all… amazing.’ His tone sounded forced.
‘Adryan—’
‘I’ll pay you for the whiskey and for the decanter and—’
‘You don’t need to do that—’
‘I do, I broke it.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Madden said, getting annoyed. He didn’t want to have to say the words and was hoping Adryan would get it by himself. The truth was, it was unlikely Adryan could afford to replace any of those things, and Madden didn’t care.
‘Of course, I’m being ridiculous,’ Adryan said after a moment.
‘We must seem quite ridiculous to you. Our small town problems, our small factory. Meanwhile, you have a helicopter, and a penthouse apartment that must cost as much as the whole of Troham, and glasses and liquor I can’t even afford. We must seem pathetic to you—’
‘Where is that coming from?’ Madden asked, frowning.
‘Is there really a chance?’ Adryan asked, lifting his now wet blue eyes to him, his jaw set.
Madden frowned. A million answers presented themselves to him at that moment, a million ways to say something that would soothe Adryan. But they wouldn’t come out. Faced with the vulnerability, to the honesty in Adryan’s expression, Madden couldn’t find it in himself to lie.
‘No.’
A cold, hard silence stretched between them.
‘You knew all along it was all for nothing, didn’t you?
Even when I asked you, you knew it was a waste of time.
’ Adryan tried to look tough, but his lip quivered and Madden wanted nothing else than to wrap him into his arms, and kiss his concerns away.
‘You had us all working our asses off, out there in the streets, for nothing. You gave my dad hope—’
‘That’s not what I meant to —’
‘Shut up. You just told me what I wanted to hear so I would help you and be your errand-boy and—’
‘Don’t you dare go there,’ Madden said, gritting his teeth. Adryan was upset, and he was willing to be patient, but he wasn’t about to let him say something that would end up hurting them both. Madden rubbed his eyes with his hand. ‘I’ll take you home.’
Adryan didn’t say anything.
‘I’ll take a bus.’
‘There are no—’
‘I don’t care, Madden. I’ll walk if I have to.’
With that, Adryan turned on his heel and walked out of the living room. He heard him push the elevator’s button. He knew he only had seconds to go after him, seconds to tell him to stop, to think, to stay, but Madden didn’t move.
He had known all along it was a long shot, so long it was pretty much impossible.
GRP was never going to change their minds and he knew it, and he let them hope nonetheless.
Madden didn’t think he had done anything wrong, but he couldn’t see how he would make Adryan understand that, so when he heard the lift doors open, he didn’t rush after him.
If he did, he could hug him and kiss him and pull him into bed, and wake up to the sunrise over the horizon.
They’d have breakfast and they might even spend the day together.
But then what? They’d have to go back to work, him in San Francisco and Adryan in Troham.
It had all seemed so romantic, so possible, back in the little town, but the city lights shed shadows over their relationship he would have preferred not to see.
Now, back into his reality, the shadows were too dark to ignore.
He let Adryan go. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he made a call.
‘Boss,’ his driver’s voice came from the other end.
‘Make sure Mr. Hayes gets home to Troham tonight,’ he said. When he hung up, he couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat or dispel the heaviness in his chest. Was this it?