Chapter 11
Ryder stared down at Megan, trying and failing to pull some air into his lungs. His breath was raspy, his heart beat as if it was trying to batter its way out of his chest, and he could not control the powerful, rising tide of desire.
He couldn’t remember feeling this way before. There had been other women, of course, but none of them had ever made him feel so much. None of them had made him feel so weak.
He swallowed thickly, trying to force Megan’s words into his head.
I daenae want ye to touch me again.
She didn’t sound as if she meant it. She sounded regretful.
Her reasons made sense, of course. Their contract, such as it was, would end, and she would leave.
She’d find somebody else. It was unlikely that a Blackwood lass wouldn’t get snapped up by somebody or other.
She met his eye, and her gaze was surprisingly steady.
She wants me, he thought with a sudden intensity, but nae enough to put aside her good sense.
I admire that. It’s hard nae to admire that.
“Very well,” he responded at last. “But let me be clear, lass.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “What further clarity could ye need?”
He gave a low chuckle. “If ye keep testin’ me, I’ll keep punishin’ ye. I cannae back down. I’m nae the sort of man who backs down. Daenae try me, because that is a battle of wills ye will nae win.”
The adorable flush on her cheeks had spread down her neck. She took a step forward, waving a threatening finger at him.
“Ye daenae ken how many battles of wills I’ve won.”
“Nay, I daenae,” he agreed. “It’s been many, I’m sure, and I have nay doubt ye will win many more. What I am sayin’, me sweet lass, is that ye willnae win this one, so I suggest ye tread carefully.”
She spun around, pacing away while muttering something under her breath. Something that sounded like insufferable and annoyance. He suspected it was aimed at him.
He waited patiently for her to finish pacing, and at last she rounded on him.
“Well, then, I suggest that we forget that this ever happened,” she announced. “We put it behind us and never speak of it. Nobody kens that this happened, after all.”
“That could be sensible,” he agreed. “I ken ye have made jokes about being a captive, but ye are nae truly a captive. Ye are free to do as ye like.”
“Nae entirely free, it seems,” she muttered sourly.
“At any rate, if we can make it through these next three months without an incident, we should both be pretty happy. What do ye say? Can we do it?”
“Can ye do it, more like.”
“Ach, that’s hardly the attitude,” he responded merrily, dropping her a grin and a wink.
“Well, if we have decided, we can shake hands as friends and move on. I left me horse back this way; we can reach it and get back to the Keep as soon as possible. I believe that this rain is due to get worse, if that’s at all possible. ”
Megan stared at him, a faint line between her brows.
“One horse? We’re to share one horse?”
“Aye, I’ll just pop ye on the front of the saddle. It’ll be a bit heavy for the poor creature, but it willnae be for long. She’s a strong horse.”
She pressed her lips together. “I’d prefer to walk, I think. I daenae mind.”
He gave an amused huff. “I am sure ye daenae. Nevertheless, ye will ride with me. These roads are dangerous. Did ye nae learn that before?”
“Aye, perhaps I did, but then ye insisted on us takin’ a wee jaunt through the forest,” she snapped, “and I suppose it all seemed very safe again.”
Was she mocking him? He thought she probably was. Still, it was not his concern. Chuckling again, Ryder turned and strode back along the way he’d come.
He wouldn’t have been wholly surprised if she’d gone running away in the opposite direction. She had enough spirit, to be sure. He would have to chase her, of course, and that would be a whole business to deal with.
He was faintly relieved to hear her trotting after him, keeping a wary distance.
“I mean it,” she called. “I’d rather walk.”
“Aye, I’m sure ye would, but a horse will get us there faster, and more safely,” he called back. “Ye are a clever woman. Ye understand.”
She said nothing, and he knew that he’d got it right.
His suggestion was logical, and there was danger on the roads.
He found himself thinking again of Logan’s letter.
Logan was a clever man, very wise, and he knew a lot about the Highlands.
Sometimes, Ryder wondered whether he should send the girls to live with their uncle.
He’d be much stricter, of course, but surely he’d keep them safe.
And Alaina wouldnae hate me so much.
That thought sent a pang through his chest, although he dutifully suppressed it.
It wasn’t his fault that Alaina resented him so much.
He was making the right decision for her; he knew that without a doubt.
He was confident and easy in his choices regarding his sister, even if she didn’t appreciate them. Or him.
Still, Megan’s words about the guards he’d put outside Alaina’s door had given him pause for thought. In an attempt to bring his mind back to the present—and to shake off the lingering feeling of arousal hanging around in his gut—he spoke, glancing over his shoulder at Megan.
“I replaced the soldiers on Alaina’s door. They have new instructions to be a little less strict with her movements. She’s to be given more freedom.”
“I noticed. I’m sure she’s grateful.”
“If she is, she’s nae said as much.”
They stepped out of the trees, and the rain fell heavily and unhindered on them. Ryder barely noticed it now, since he was already soaked. His horse waited patiently, sheltering under a tree branch, which kept her dry.
Clever lass, he thought, with a smile. He strode over to her, patting her on the flank. Megan came stumbling out of the trees behind him, shaking water from her cloak.
“These guards are younger,” Ryder added. “I thought she might feel more comfortable with younger guards, nae grizzled old men who believe that locking her in her room all day is the best way to keep her safe. These fellows should be more sympathetic.”
Megan nodded, although there was a hint of worry on her face.
“I am glad that ye listened to me,” she murmured. “The trouble is that the damage is already done, isn’t it? Alaina does nae trust ye, or the soldiers ye put in place to guard her.”
“I agree,” Ryder responded cheerfully. “That is where ye come in, eh?”
She said nothing about that. He climbed up neatly into the saddle, settling himself in place, then glanced down at her.
Megan stared up at him, and for once, her expression was unreadable. When their eyes met, a shiver rolled down his spine, more powerful than he had expected. It seemed he was just unable to brace himself against it.
I must stop this, he thought, with a hint of panic creeping into his mind. Why does she draw me in so powerfully? What is it about her?
This is nae real. None of this is real. I cannae forget that. If I do forget it, I’m lost.
Trying to shake off the worrying sensation of being lost, Ryder cleared his throat and extended a hand.
“Are ye comin’, or nae?” he asked softly.
She still had a strange look on her face. It occurred to him then that if she bolted, he would have to chase her down, and then she truly would become his captive.
I need her, he thought, swallowing back panic. She’s made more headway with Alaina in the past few days than I have managed in a full year. She must stay with me.
Megan placed her hand in his, and he flinched. Her palm was warm and a little rough, with calluses on the sides of her fingers that one might expect from a warrior, somebody who was always swinging axes and swords, and always had an arrow or dagger to hand. A fighter.
He forced himself to move, hauling her up to settle on the saddle in front of him. It wouldn’t be a comfortable trip for everybody, but it would be faster than walking.
Perhaps it was something he should have thought of earlier, but Ryder realized to his chagrin that the position would leave her leaning back against him, his chest curving against her back. If he weren’t careful, his hips would press up against hers.
Wonderful, he thought, resigned, and angled his hips away. Maybe I should have made the lass walk after all.
Ryder signed the bottom of the letter with a flourish, then handed it over to Ewan.
He was not concentrating well on his work. They’d reached the Keep about an hour ago, and the journey had been torture. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the warm suppleness of her body against his, pushed carelessly against him by the unavoidable movement of the horse.
His arousal had just about faded, but there’d been no time to attend to himself. He felt sore and sensitive, as if any further brush with his wretched betrothed would stoke the fire once again.
Unfortunately, he was Laird MacCulloch, and he could not simply drift off to his bedchamber to relieve tension whenever he felt like it. There was important work to be done.
“Take the letter straight to Laird MacAdair,” he instructed. “He will get antsy if he doesnae receive an update about his nieces soon. Have the messenger wait for a reply. I’ve asked him to visit, and perhaps this time he will come.”
Ewan lifted his eyebrows. “Ye never ken. Is he hasslin’ ye about the lasses comin’ to him again?”
“Aye, but nae too much. He’s only concerned. Anyway,” Ryder added, suddenly keen to change the subject, “how long has it been since the lassies returned from the dressmaker’s?”
“About an hour. They’re up in Alaina’s room now, tryin’ them on. Flora says that the gowns are beautiful.”
Ryder nodded, getting to his feet. “For the price I paid, I’m expectin’ them to be made of solid gold. I’ll join them, I reckon. After that, I might bathe in the loch. I’m too warm.”
Ewan gave him a strange look at that, and Ryder pretended not to notice. It wasn’t warm at all. The rain had eased up, but the wind still blew stiffly, clawing its way around the Keep.