Chapter 17
The moon was high in the sky by the time they reached the Keep again.
Ryder took note of the girls and boys who’d accompanied Alaina.
Not to make trouble for them, of course, just for future reference.
Alaina could have friends, and if she wanted to take friends from among the servants, she was well within her rights to do so.
Alaina had insisted on sharing a horse with the guard, Hamish. Poor Hamish was as white as a sheet and concentrated on avoiding Ryder’s gaze at all costs.
The Keep was brighter and more awake than when Ryder had left it. More candles had been lit, and more servants were hurrying around, stifling yawns and murmuring to each other.
Wonderful, he thought grimly. By dawn, everybody in the Keep will ken that Alaina successfully escaped and had to be brought back.
Flora must have been woken at some point and stood at the door, worried. Her hair blew in the wind, and she clutched a well-darned shawl around her shoulders.
Ewan’s face lit up when he saw her. He was the first to dismount and hurried over to her. Ryder heard snippets of their conversation.
“…sorry ye were disturbed, love,” he murmured, kissing her hand. “Are ye tired? How is the babe?”
“We are both well, man,” Flora chuckled, patting his cheek. “I thought the Laird and the others might want some food when they returned. It’s cold and late. Will ye sit down in the feastin’ room?”
“Nay, thank ye,” Ryder spoke up, causing her to glance his way. “We’re goin’ to Alaina’s room. We’ll talk there.”
“And… and what about me, me Laird?” Hamish asked tentatively. Ryder fixed him with a steely glare.
“Oh, ye will be joinin’ us, lad. Make nay mistake about that.”
Alaina’s room did not seem big enough for everybody. Ryder had insisted that they all tiptoe past Sophie’s room so that she wouldn’t be woken up.
Hamish and Alaina stood in front of the empty fireplace, stock-still and white-faced. Ryder glowered at them both, arms folded.
Megan stood quietly by the door, but he could feel her eyes on him. He straightened his spine, rolling his shoulders.
“Love,” Ryder said at last, spitting out the word, “is nothin’. It’s an excuse. A delusion. At the very least, it’s somethin’ that impedes clear thinkin’.”
“That is yer opinion,” Alaina snapped. “I love Hamish, Ryder. I do! I want to be with him, and ye cannae keep me locked up here forever. Or is that what ye want for me? Will I just waste away me life here, like a princess in a tower?”
Ryder ran a hand over his face. “Could ye please spare me the dramatics, lass? Of course, that’s nae what I want! I ken ye think that ye are quite grown up, Alaina, but the plain fact is that ye are nae.”
“Listen…” She began, but Ryder shook his head, holding up a hand.
“Nay, ye listen. Yer safety—and that of yer sister—is me responsibility. Once ye are of age, I’ll nae have guardianship of ye anymore.
Ye can go and live wherever ye like and do whatever ye want, and I will be able to do nothin’ but advise against it.
But for now—for now, Alaina—ye will do as ye are bid. ”
She was seething. He could see fury in her eyes.
Definitely a MacCulloch, Ryder thought with a grim smile. He glanced over at Hamish while Alaina was stewing.
“Well? What do ye have to say, lad?” he inquired.
Hamish drew in a deep breath, with the air of somebody about to embark on a long and well-rehearsed speech.
Maybe he doesnae care much for her, Ryder thought hopefully. If it’s just infatuation and he admits he doesnae care much for her, then she’ll be sad for a while, but then she’ll recover.
And next time, maybe she’ll listen to me.
“I love Alaina, me Laird,” Hamish blurted out.
Ach, bother.
“I love her, I truly do,” Hamish plowed on.
“I want to marry her. When… when there were all those attempts to contact her, all those strange occurrences that ye thought were kidnap attempts, all of that was…” He paused, gulping, “All of that was me. I was trying to get notes to her, but ye guarded her so well. That first incident—that kidnap attempt—it was me tryin’ to get to her.
I hired mercenaries. I never thought… I just wanted to get her out of the Keep, because I kent that was what she wanted!
Alaina kent all about it. I… I cannae live without her!
It… it was foolish, I ken, but I just had to speak to her. ”
Ryder let out a long, ragged breath. “That was ye, then? Dear God. Ye tried to kidnap her?”
“It’s nae kidnappin’ if I kent what was happening!” Alaina chipped in. “I wanted to go with him. And then once ye found out, we couldnae tell ye the truth!”
Hamish hung his head. “Oh, I ken it was wrong, me Laird. But Alaina wants to be with me, truly she does!” he paused, glancing at Alaina as if for support. She gave him a tiny, encouraging nod. Ryder glanced between them, narrowing his eyes.
As he watched, Alaina’s hand crept out toward Hamish’s, her small fingers winding through his larger ones. Ryder stared, transfixed, at their hands.
They really do care for each other, he thought, baffled.
Misinterpreting his stare, Hamish uneasily pulled his hand away from Alaina’s. Clearing his throat, he stepped forward. To his credit, the boy met Ryder’s eyes firmly. Breathing in, visibly steeling himself, he stepped forward.
“I am a guard here at the Keep, as ye ken, me Laird,” he said firmly. “I have kent Alaina for some years. I daenae remember when I started to feel drawn to her, but I was. I am. I love Alaina. I’m only a guardsman, with nay money and nay prospects. But I suppose that ye ken that already.”
“Aye, I do,” Ryder responded tightly, moving back to sit on a heavy trunk at the bottom of Alaina’s bed. He nodded to Hamish to continue.
“The plain fact of it is, I cannae live without her,” Hamish admitted, with a self-conscious laugh. “I ken that she’s a lady, and she’ll have to marry a laird one day…”
“Never!” Alaina interjected angrily. “I would nae abandon ye to marry a laird, Hamish, never, never!”
“Nay laird would have her with a temper like that,” Ryder remarked, and earned himself a glare from his sister.
“He is being unfair, Megan! Tell him!” she said, appealing to Megan.
Ryder deliberately stayed silent, waiting to hear what Megan would say. He realized he was curious.
“Yer braither is tryin’ to listen to what ye and Hamish have to say, Alaina,” Megan said quietly. “He is listenin’. So, talk to him. Daenae ye think that’s fair?”
This seemed to surprise Alaina. She blinked, cleared her throat, and glanced away.
Megan didn’t look at Ryder. He found himself staring at her, vaguely surprised.
Well, I didnae imagine that me reluctant bride would be on me side, he thought, biting back a grin. What a pleasant surprise.
Alaina took a moment to compose herself, clearing her throat and smoothing out her gown, then stepped forward.
“Brother,” she said, her voice tight and formal.
“Aye?” he responded, faintly mocking. Alaina rolled her eyes.
“I daenae really hate ye. But I daenae like ye very much at the moment.”
“If this is yer attempt to get what ye want, I must say that it is nae goin’ very well. Flattery generally works better. Just a wee tidbit for the future.”
“I am trying to tell ye that I love Hamish, Ryder! I love him, and I want to spend me life with him.”
Ryder sighed. “We all want lots of things when we are sixteen. That’s nae to say that they’re the right things for us.
When I was fourteen, for instance, I wanted a particular stallion, which I was sure I could break in just fine.
faither said nay, and of course I raged at him.
But if I’d been allowed to ride it, it would have thrown me like it did the next man who mounted it, and I would probably have broken me back.
Do ye see what I am tellin’ ye, Alaina?”
“Nay,” she responded flatly. “I daenae. And ye are bein’ unkind. This is entirely different.”
“Are ye sure?”
“Aye! I daenae want to be taken away from Hamish and forced to marry some dull old laird, Ryder! I willnae do it! I willnae, I willnae, I willnae!” She punctuated each willnae with a stamp of her foot, fists clenched at her sides.
Ryder took his time answering, letting the silence hang in the air. Alaina’s face had gone red with her outburst, and the color gradually faded away. She cleared her throat, swallowed hard, and seemed almost ashamed.
“First of all,” Ryder said softly, “I would like to ken where ye have gotten the idea that I would force ye or Sophie into an arranged marriage with any dull old laird. Do ye think that is somethin’ I would do? Push ye into a marriage against yer will?”
Alaina stared at her feet. “Nay, braither.”
“Ye are right. I wouldnae. Secondly, do ye think that actin’ like this,” he paused to stamp his feet peevishly and clench his fists like Alaina had, “is goin’ to make me think that ye are a wise grown woman who can be trusted? Eh?”
Alaina went red. She said nothing, only shook her head.
“Aye, that’s right. It doesnae make ye look very wise, lass. Still, I have always told ye to stay away from love, and I wonder that ye have not listened to me.”
Alaina glanced over at Megan, and something passed between them. Ryder narrowed his eyes, trying and failing to decipher what it was. When she wasn’t furiously blushing, however, Megan’s thoughts were not easy to read, so he gave up.
“Nobody can live without love, braither,” Alaina said quietly. “I cannae do it, and I daenae intend to. I wish that ye would nae, either. Ye are goin’ to make yerself miserable, and I daenae… I daenae want to see ye miserable.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “I thought that it was exactly what ye wanted.”
She bit her lip, clearly fighting not to roll her eyes.
“I want ye to be happy, Ryder. And I… I didnae mean to humiliate ye by ignorin’ yer orders. I didnae mean it when I said that I hated ye, and… and when it came to sneakin’ off, it really was me idea, not Hamish’s. He just went along with what I wanted.”