Chapter 19 #2
He nodded, setting aside his goblet. “The Keep is goin’ to be full of strangers when the cèilidh happens.
It’ll be noisy, crowded, and chaotic. It’s the perfect time to snatch away a lass.
I willnae be able to keep me eyes on Alaina at all times, and that’s when ye come in.
And since she still believes that ye are me betrothed, she’ll not question why ye are stickin’ so close to her. ”
Something passed briefly across Megan’s face, too swiftly for him to interpret. The expression was gone as quickly as it had arrived. She drained her goblet and set it aside, folding her arms.
“And once the cèilidh is over, I can go home?” she questioned.
“Aye,” Ryder heard himself say. “I daenae see why nae, if the culprits are caught. So long as I ken that I can count on ye now.”
“Ye can count on me, sure enough. But I’ll leave as soon as we’ve caught these people, so there’ll be nay need for me to stay the full three months. Aye?”
“Aye,” he confirmed. Something was tightening inside his chest, bit by bit, until he could scarcely breathe. It was a new feeling, and an unpleasant one.
It’s nae that I daenae want her to go, he told himself furiously. It’s much more complicated than that. I… I daenae want her to go until the job is done. That’s all.
If he told himself it often enough, then he would unquestionably believe it. And once she had gone, the Keep would return to normal. He would return to normal.
“Ye seem keen to get gone, at least,” he added after a moment of quiet. “Ye must be sick of this place.”
Megan pressed her lips together, glancing over at the fire. “I’ve gotten used to it.”
“Hmph. Ye ken what I think?”
She lifted her eyebrows, glancing back at him. “What?”
“I think that ye enjoy challengin’ me.”
A slow smile spread over her face. She shook her head, chuckling quietly.
“So what if I do? I think that ye enjoy tryin’ to tame me.”
“Tryin’? Ha!”
She laughed aloud, and Ryder laughed back. For a moment, the atmosphere was warm and calm. There was a spark in his cold, lonely room that he couldn’t remember feeling before.
The moment passed quickly, when Ryder remembered that Megan was here because he’d all but paid her to be. They might have their games to pass the time, but when Alaina was safe or her three months were up, Megan would leave.
She’d be glad to leave. She wouldn’t look back.
Abruptly, Ryder got to his feet, striding over to the fire. Resting one arm on the mantelpiece, he stared down into the flames. The heat was intense now, spilling out over him. His skin prickled underneath his clothes.
“Is there anythin’ else ye think I should ken?” he asked at last. “Somethin’ ye have discovered, somethin’ that Alaina might have told ye? Even the smallest tidbit of information can mean a lot.”
He paused, glancing over at her. Megan stared into the fire too, her expression troubled. Then she cleared her throat, and the expression disappeared.
“I cannae think of anythin’,” she said at last.
Ryder nodded. “Then ye had better go. Think about the freedom ye will have when this culprit is caught.”
Megan blinked, seeming to be taken aback.
She got to her feet silently and moved over to the door.
He heard the key click in the lock, but kept his eyes on the fire.
In another moment, she’d be gone, and he could relax.
He could go back to being Laird McCulloch, and Ryder Cairn could be forgotten about for a little while.
The door creaked open, and a swirl of cold air shivered across the floor, chilling his ankles.
“Ye ken,” Megan said at last, standing in the doorway, “when I was young, me maither told me I should take care of me sisters. Even though I wasnae the eldest, she put me in charge. It was a heavy burden. It weighed on me day and night, like a heavy load I couldnae put down. One day, one of me sisters—Brigid—took me aside and said that I was carryin’ somethin’ that they all wanted to help me carry.
She said I was sufferin’ needlessly, even though I had so many people around me who were desperate to help me.
And that’s when I realized that it was foolish to try to do such a thing alone.
I realized that even if I had been left responsible for the people I love, that didnae mean I should hold the responsibility alone. Some people wanted to help.”
Ryder let out a long sigh. “And why are ye tellin’ me this?”
There was a brief silence.
“I think ye ken why,” Megan said at last.
Ryder clenched his jaw until his teeth squeaked. Then he straightened up and came striding across the room toward her. Megan watched him approach, her face giving away nothing. When he got close, she finally took the hint and hopped back over the threshold.
“Goodnight, Megan,” Ryder said firmly, and then closed the door in her face.
It was louder than he’d expected; the slam echoed through the room. Ryder flinched, but of course, it was too late to undo it now.
He heard Megan draw in a surprised, angry gasp on the other side of the door.
“Bloody bastard!” she enunciated clearly, then turned on her heel and stamped away down the stairs.
As always, Ryder was left alone.