Chapter 8
The Beginning Of The End
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?” Alexander boomed, his deep voice cutting through the noise like a knife.
He swallowed as every eye turned towards him. He glanced at Rose, who nodded imperceptibly.
This speech was her request. Hopefully, I will not disappoint her.
They had agreed that the festivities would last well into the night, but they themselves would depart as soon as the meal was over. It would signal a desire to be alone together and hopefully further convince the gossiping busybodies of their genuine affection and Rose’s good fortune.
He cleared his throat as he tried to keep his expression neutral. “Firstly, I would like to thank all of you for being here today. I have no gift for words, and so I shall make my speech short.”
A few members of the congregation laughed nervously, as though they were afraid to upset him. Beside him, Rose laughed softly, which encouraged others to be more bold in their amusement.
She truly has an art for this.
He wished he could navigate the world with the same grace and certainty that she did.
And yet what good has that knowledge done her?
Alexander shook his head, refusing to allow his maudlin thoughts to take over. “I had not considered myself a particularly fortunate man, but recent events have forced me to reconsider.”
He paused, making sure he had the room’s attention. His nerves threatened to overwhelm him, and he forced them down, taking a steadying breath. His eyes found Olivia, and he smiled, remembering how she had helped him prepare.
“Brother, are you a man or a statue?” Olivia had prodded his chest.
Alexander scowled at her. “I am not good at this. I feel like a fool. I loathe such public declarations”
“You are speaking as though you are simply discussing the weather.” Olivia glanced at the paper in his hand. “There is no feeling. Nothing. Let me see what you have written.”
Alexander handed her the paper, and her frown deepened. She looked at him and sighed deeply. “Brother, please tell me this is only your first attempt?”
Alexander glanced at the small pile of crumpled paper on his desk and felt color bloom in his cheeks. “Come, Olive, they cannot be so bad as that.”
Olivia gave him a deadpan look and said in a ridiculous imitation of his voice, “You have my sincere thanks and gratitude for your attendance. I am sure I speak for both my wife and myself when I say that I gratefully and wholeheartedly appreciate your well-wishes for our future happiness.”
“Well, what am I supposed to say? I knew I should never have agreed to Rose’s request!” Alexander flushed.
I should not have used her name. What kind of conclusion will Olivia draw now?
“Rose?” Olivia raised an eyebrow. “I am surprised you’re already on a first-name basis, Brother mine. I had not thought it possible.”
“She requested I use her name. I think it is so she might hold on to some part of herself, and I have already taken so much from her that I would not deny her such a simple request.” Alexander turned away from his sister, shame forming a knot in his throat.
Olivia sighed and squeezed his hand. “Perhaps we should try a different approach. Do not think of appearances, think of her. What is it you most want her to hear?”
The question caught Alexander off guard. “I would like her to know that I understand the pain that I have caused and that I will do my best to see that no further harm comes to her.”
“Hardly romantic, but perhaps you could use the sentiment to find the right words.” Olivia gestured to the paper. “Let us try.”
In the present moment, Alexander saw Olivia smile encouragingly. He took a steadying breath and turned to Rose. Their eyes met, and he saw hers widen imperceptibly.
I need you to know how sorry I am, and I wish that you were not tied to me.
Alexander plastered on a smile, knowing that he could not show the guilt he felt. “Meeting my wife has changed my opinion and my life. I know now that I am among the most fortunate of men.”
He held her gaze, willing her to hear the unspoken truth in his words. “I scarcely deserve such luck. That I have been honored with the affection of a woman who is not only beautiful but the epitome of all that it means to be good in this world is almost beyond belief.”
I do not deserve you, and I know this.
“Her affection is a gift I do not deserve.”
I know you must despise me, and I ask for nothing more.
Alexander found himself captured by Rose’s doe-like eyes as he said, “Yet, it is a gift I will celebrate always. And I will do everything in my power to be worthy of such a gift. My Rose, as long as I live, you shall know safety.”
Her name on his lips felt strangely intimate, but it had felt like the right thing to say in the moment.
I cannot give you love, but I can give you this. I will keep you safe. Let that be enough.
Rose flushed, tilting her head at Alexander. Some emotion flashed in her eyes, but he could not place it. He only hoped that she had understood his meaning and that she knew of his regret.
He turned away from her, facing the rest of the room once more. “I know that you will all join me in a toast to my wife, the Duchess of Emberly. And that you will all wish us every happiness.”
A chorus of voices cried out, “To the Duke and Duchess of Emberly!”
Alexander held his glass aloft a moment, before pressing it to his lips and drinking deeply. He then placed his empty glass on the table and held his hand out to Rose.
She took it, and he helped her to her feet. Her hand felt so small in his that he feared he might break it. As she stood up, Alexander marveled at the way she seemed to light up the room with her smile.
What a waste for her to marry a man like me.
“I must thank my husband for his kind words, and all you good people for attending and celebrating our union.” Rose beamed at the crowd, her light voice carrying surprisingly well. “I truly am blessed to have found a man who is so willing to do everything in his power for myself and, of course, my family.”
She briefly turned her smile towards Alexander, and his chest tightened as she continued, “I had not expected to find such kindness and generosity of spirit, yet my husband exemplifies both. These last weeks have given me such hope for the future, and I am glad to have shared it with all of you today.”
She took a deep breath, and Alexander noticed the slight tension in her muscles.
She knows we must leave.
“Though, I confess, I must beg your forgiveness. For the Duke and I must take our leave, and depart to begin our new life together.”
There was a swell of murmurs as the guests looked at one another. Alexander suppressed the prickle of anger, taking a steadying breath and linking his arm with Rose’s.
He nodded to the orchestra, who struck up a lively tune. “Pray, enjoy the evening. We would not wish you to stop on our account.”
Rose smiled at him, and he led her through the crowd. He noticed Nigel leading his sister to the dance floor and other couples joining them. He glanced at Rose, who was watching the dancers, and felt a twinge in his chest.
Perhaps I should offer to dance with her? No, it is better she understands the reality of the situation now. There would be no dancing in her future.
He strengthened his resolve, letting the walls he had spent years building encapsulate his heart.
They made their way through the crowd, nodding at various well-wishers. As soon as they were in the carriage, and the door was shut, he felt relief. Finally, the day was over. He glanced at Rose, whose smile had also vanished.
Silence filled the space between them, smothering them in its embrace. Alexander shifted, absentmindedly tapping his fingers on his thighs.
“Thank you.” Rose’s soft voice broke the oppressive silence.
“I simply did as you asked.” Alexander rolled his shoulders back, massaging a crick in his neck. “I hope the day was to your satisfaction?”
“Indeed. It was everything I had hoped for.” Another pause stretched between them, before Rose asked, “We are to journey to Emberly House?”
Alexander nodded. “Yes, it is not too far from here. I have been assured that our rooms have been prepared. Mrs. Thomas will show you around the house and introduce you to the rest of the servants.”
“As I said, this is a marriage in name only. We will not share a bedroom. Your rooms are in the East Wing, mine in the West,” he clarified.
His hope had been that in ensuring such distance between their rooms, he would give her space and freedom.
An odd look crossed her face, but it was replaced by a stony neutrality before he could decipher its meaning.
“I will be away much of this week on urgent business.” Alexander kept his voice neutral. “You may come and go as you please, but I would ask that you let Mrs. Thomas know your plans in advance.”
“My plans?” Rose raised an eyebrow at him.
Alexander nodded. “Yes. Where you are going, who you are seeing, when you expect to return. This will allow the servants to adjust to your schedule.”
“I see.” Rose bit her lip.
“Of course, you will be accompanied when you leave the house. Mrs. Thomas will arrange a suitable escort if you have not done so yourself.”
Rose frowned. “Am I to have an escort everywhere I go?”
Alexander canted his head, confused. “A young woman should never be alone. It is not safe.”
“Will my maid, Abigail, be a sufficient escort?” Rose’s voice had an edge to it.
Why is she angry?
Alexander frowned. They had agreed that Rose would be able to bring her maid with her, though Mrs. Thomas had raised some objections. While Alexander understood, he had no time to navigate the hierarchy of servants. And he felt he owed Rose some small comfort.
“Yes, she is sufficient.” Alexander glanced out the window, hoping to see some sign of Emberly House.
“Is there anything else I ought to be aware of?” Rose asked.
Alexander thought for a moment, before replying, “You may take breakfast in your rooms, should you desire it. If you need anything, ask either Mrs. Thomas or Mr. Black, my butler, and they will arrange it.”
“And when will you return from your trip?”
“I am not sure. I may visit Emberly Castle to see how my family is faring. I will let Mr. Black know when I plan on returning.” Alexander paused. “You need not worry. I expect we shall see each other very little.”
For a moment, Alexander thought he saw sadness on Rose’s face. She turned to the window, looking at the street without saying another word. He could understand why she would feel a certain sadness, but he had hoped to reassure her with his absence.
Perhaps it is all too fresh.
He glimpsed Emberly House and clapped his hands together. “We have arrived.”
As he helped Rose down from the carriage, he could sense her discomfort. Deciding to do what he could to alleviate her suffering, he turned to her as they crossed the threshold.
“I shall retire to my rooms. Please tell Mrs. Thomas that I will take my evening meal in my study.” He inclined his head towards her. “I wish you a good evening.”
With that, he turned around and strode up the stairs and then into his study.
The hardest part was over. All that was left was to avoid his wife as much as possible and to focus on his work.
Now, to get through the rest of your life.
He wished the thought did not seem like such a daunting prospect.