Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
The carriage returned at half past five, the sound of its wheels cutting through the hum of the evening traffic along St. James’s.
Winston had been reading in the library, but put the book aside the moment Louisa’s laughter reached him through the window.
It was a welcome relief from the thoughts that had been torturing him.
Being supported around the gardens by Adeline had reminded him of the feeling of her body. Of the attraction that he felt for her. Intense and undeniable. Having to allow her to help him from his bath, naked and dripping, was a level of torment almost more than he could bear.
We have shared intimacies enough. More and I risk what I have never countenanced. The weakness of attachment.
At the return of Louisa and Cordelia, he could put Adeline from his mind, if only for a while. His mother swept into the room as though borne by triumph itself, Louisa fluttering at her heels with a paper cone of sugared almonds.
“You’ll never believe our day,” Cordelia began before he could speak. “We met my old school friend, the Duchess of Kent herself at Vauxhall, of all places! I had not realized how long it had been. Louisa was a babe in arms last time I saw her. She was quite taken with your daughter, I must say.”
Louisa’s grin was bright. “She said I looked like a princess!”
“She did,” Cordelia confirmed, and held up a small envelope, her expression gleaming. “And to prove it, here’s an invitation to Almack’s tonight.”
“Tonight?” Winston repeated, half-smiling despite himself. “That leaves us hardly any time to prepare. Most unlike you, Mother.”
Cordelia waved a hand. “Nonsense. You’ve always been the quickest man I know when it comes to dressing for Society. Adeline and I will manage. Besides, you may consider this revenge for your whirlwind decision to bring us into town in the first place.”
He felt, rather than saw, Adeline in the doorway. She was composed as ever, but the faint tension at the corner of her mouth betrayed her.
“Isn’t it marvelous?” Cordelia said, turning to her.
“The Duchess of Kent, and her daughter, the Lady Victoria, no less. She is a cousin to the Regent and something like fifteenth in line to the throne. We must all go. Louisa will love the lights and the gowns. And Winston simply must be introduced to Lady Victoria.”
“Yes,” Adeline said quietly, “it’s very kind of Her Grace.”
Winston caught her eye. Her calmness was practiced; beneath it he sensed dread. When Cordelia and Louisa left to ready themselves, he crossed the room so he could stand next to Adeline.
“You’d rather not go,” he said softly.
She hesitated for only a moment. “It will be another crowded scene, and I’ve no place among those people.”
“Those people are merely people,” he said, “and you’ll be with me. No one will trouble you.”
Her gaze lifted to his. The space between them charged in the way it had done earlier, before in his steam-filled room.
“You can’t promise that,” she said.
“Watch me,” he replied quietly.
For a moment, neither moved. Then she turned, breaking the connection with a nervous smile.
“Very well, Winston. For Louisa’s sake.” She paused for a moment, biting her lip. “And thank you for not making it an order.”
“As I did when I brought you to London with us,” Winston said.
“As is your right. I am still your employee.”
“Don’t remind me,” Winston said, feeling the prick of annoyance.
“Why?” Adeline asked, sounding genuinely curious.
Because an employer must maintain barriers between himself and his staff. If he has any honor at all. And I wish there to be no barriers between us.
His thoughts remained unspoken. He cursed himself for saying as much as he had. Turning away he strode for the door.
“My mother was right. I can dress in a trice. You ladies cannot.”
“You are dissatisfied with my service?” Adeline persisted.
Winston paused, his hand on the doorknob. There had been something in her voice. A catch. A quality that made it more than an innocent question. Almost…hope?
Why would the thought of my being dissatisfied make her hopeful? Why does she persist with this line of questioning? Does she wish to be dismissed?
He frowned, looking back at Adeline. The sight made him want to go to her.
She stood with anxiety plain on her beautiful face, hands clutching her skirts as though to keep them from wringing each other.
When she saw him looking she made an effort to school her features, but the vulnerability had been there plainly.
Slowly, he walked towards her, watching her chin lift as he approached. Seeing the determination light up her eyes.
“I sense you are being very brave. I cannot think it is for any reason other than this mysterious fiancé. There is no other reason for courage,” he said.
“Of course not. I have the right to fear him.”
“But will not tell me his name so that I may have the word spread of his infamy.”
“No,” Adeline said with only the hint of a tremor.
“On my honor. You are safe with me,” Winston said, earnestly. “I wish Louisa to enjoy this event. I want my mother to enjoy it. Both will enjoy themselves if they know that you do too.”
He drowned in her eyes, losing all sense of time and space. Slowly, tenderly, he reached up to cup her cheek. She took his hand in hers, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. He watched a tear trickle from the corner of her eye.
“What torments you so?” he asked, in a soft but urgent whisper.
Adeline only shook her head.
“If I have such a deleterious effect on your mother and daughter then you should dismiss me. Send me away,” she said.
Winston’s head spun. His brows drew down in fierce denial.
“Why would you ask that? My mother and daughter both adore you. You would leave a void in their lives.”
“But not yours.”
He hesitated, knowing what his heart wanted him to say. Denying his heart.
“I would miss the excellent job you do as Louisa’s governess,” he said.
Adeline laughed softly. Winston felt himself mocked.
She removed his hand from her cheek and pressed her lips against his palm.
It was tender but fierce, pressing hard as though to taste him and leave that sense impression into her memory.
Winston lifted her chin with the crook of his finger and lowered his head to kiss her, losing all self-control.
A commotion in the hallway announced Louisa’s bustling and imminent arrival. Adeline stepped away first. Winston was left staring at the space she had occupied before, a moment later, the door opened, and he put his mask firmly in place.
By the time the carriage arrived at Almack’s, the London evening had given way to rain, a thin mist that turned the cobbles to glass.
The portico blazed with light. Footmen opened doors, ladies stepped out in glittering colors.
Louisa clung to Adeline’s hand, determined to see and remember everything.
Inside, the assembly rooms gleamed like a thousand candles captured in crystal.
Musicians tuned their instruments, and the air smelled of wax, perfume, and the faint metallic tang of the rain outside.
Cordelia was in her element, already spotting familiar faces.
Winston had barely removed his gloves before she seized his arm.
“Come, Winston. The Duchess wishes to introduce you to Lady Victoria. It would be unforgivable not to pay our respects.”
He glanced at Adeline, who had drifted toward the edge of the room with Louisa.
“Will you be all right here?”
“Of course,” she said, smiling for Louisa’s benefit.
Winston saw the lie in her eyes, but duty’s pull was strong.
She will come to no harm in such a public place.
He followed his mother through the throng, every step pulling him further from Adeline.
Adeline stayed close to the wall, where the crush was thinner.
Louisa had found a seat near the refreshment table, beckoning to Adeline to join her.
Adeline did so, glad to occupy herself with punch and cake rather than constantly scanning the crowd for unwelcome faces.
She tried to breathe evenly, to remind herself that the fear was irrational.
The chandelier light shimmered on every jewel and smile, each face a blur of color.
Louisa added her chatter to the babble of the assembled ladies and gentlemen.
Adeline fought down her fear to respond, smiling and hoping that Louisa saw her responses as gay and bright as the occasion demanded.
The crowd surged and moved with tides and currents of its own.
In one shift she saw to the far side of the room where Winston stood alone with a slender young woman who had golden hair and a swan’s neck.
He stood with hands clasped behind his back, head bent attentively as she spoke.
“Father should be talking to you, not her,” Louisa said, petulantly.
“Your father has a duty to the Dukedom,” Adeline said, unable to take her eyes from Winston.
“He should do what makes him happy,” Louisa replied.
“And what is that?”
“Marry you, of course,” Louisa said.
It came as such a shock to hear that Adeline’s head snapped around to the girl. Louisa looked back innocently.
“I see how you are with each other,” she said. “You bite and snipe, but I know it is just because you both care. If you didn’t, you would just ignore each other.”
Adeline snapped her mouth shut and hid a smile, not wanting to encourage Louisa’s reasoning. But inside, she was immensely proud at the feat of emotional intelligence Louisa had just performed.
She is cleverer and more mature than any of us give her credit for.
“You confuse friction with…”
“I do not, and you will not convince me otherwise. I will speak to Father about it. He should see sense.”
“Please, don’t do that, Louisa,” Adeline said.
“Why?”
“Because he is a Duke and must marry accordingly. I am not a suitable match for him. And I am an employee.”
“So resign,” Louisa said with the utter conviction that only a child can manage.
“That will not change anything.”