Chapter 8
C H A P T E R8
Dreaming of You
Cade
The Present
12:32 a.m.
“W hat if I did fuck him?”
I was livid with my ex-girlfriend.
Her words played like a broken record in my mind, torturing me with every loop. She threw that axed jab in hopes of watching me drown in misery and it worked.
If Ella screwed him, he was a dead man walking. Once Initiation Night was over, I’d hunt down the fucker and teach him a lesson. The kind that involved my knife and his balls.
The thought of her giving to him what she gave to me was so soul crushing, I could barely breathe past the fumes of my despair.
We were each other’s first. We swore to be each other’s last.
Since our breakup, I’d been celibate. My heart and my body only wanted Ella. Shit, the only way I could even get hard was by thinking of her. Her smile. Her moans. Her tight pussy, squeezing me so good.
I never slept with another woman because there was only her for me.
And she’d fucked other men?
For both our sakes, I hoped she was bluffing. Otherwise, dead bodies would start piling up in the streets of Montardor.
“I bet you said that to every girl you cheated on me with, huh?”
Ella actually believed I cheated on her with multiple girls. Not just that one time she ‘caught me’ at Josh’s party. Goddammit, I never fucking cheated. But she wouldn’t listen to me even if I tried to tell her what really happened. She was stubborn and still too blinded by her pain.
It had permanently painted her vision red.
Hearts were broken that wretched summer night. I would unbreak hers if she just heard my truth. I would rid her of all her fears, all her tears, all her aches, if she just gave me the chance.
I came tonight with the sole purpose of winning her back.
I wasn’t leaving until we mended what was broken.
Ella Ximena Cordova was meant to be my fucking soulmate.
I’d fight tooth and nail to get back what was meant to be mine forever.
The storm outside—visible through the windows lining the darkened hallway—seemed to have simmered down from roaring to absolute tranquil. I paused a foot away, noticing the bench in the courtyard where I had one of my earlier exchanges with Ella.
Back then, I was a lonely sixteen-year-old boy falling in love with a beautiful girl who reminded him what it was like to smile again after so long.
Who knew this was where we’d wind up three years later?
Casting a glance over my shoulder, I saw Ella planted at the library threshold. Eyes wary and mouth downturned. There was a chink in her armour, but she remained stoic.
My girl was spectacular at masking her emotions in public. No one ever saw the real her. I had the privilege, once upon a time, to see what lay behind her good girl exterior. And as her beholder, Ella was nothing short of stunning. With me, she’d always been stripped bare to her core. Artistic. Carefree. Funny. Naughty. Rebellious. And so much more. I held all those layers on a pedestal. I could fill a notebook with poetry to describe my love for her.
It was an honour to witness her in her rawest form.
I wanted to see her like that again.
Without the trace of sorrow surrounding her flesh and bones.
“You coming?” I prompted.
Ella snapped out of her trance and her gaze cut to mine. “Nice jacket. I thought you’d have thrown it by now.”
Ah, she spotted her name scrawled across the back of my leather jacket.
“I’d never throw away anything you gave to me, pretty girl.”
She froze mid-step, another fissure cracking her armour. The sincereness in my voice unbalanced her. Good. I’d kill with kindness if I had to.
It was obvious to everyone but Ella that I never stopped loving her.
She scoffed. “Can’t say the same thing about all the stuff you gave me.”
I wasn’t offended because one, I was choosing to believe that was a lie and two, I knew her bitchiness was a defence mechanism.
Together, we walked down the hallway. Our flashlights guided us as our strides ate the distance towards the underground tunnels that would lead to the abandoned dormitories.
“What about the Ducati I bought you for your birthday?” I kept my tone playful. “Did you throw that away too?”
Ella glared at me as we increased our pace.
“That’s what I thought.” I tsked.
Three years ago, I started learning how to ride a motorcycle. Not wanting to be left out, Ella took up lessons with me. One of our favourite things was riding together late at night. Daddy Cordova wasn’t impressed with his little girl riding a crotch rocket, but I liked to indulge all of Ella’s desires. I loved spoiling her.
As a result, I bought her a slick black motorcycle to match mine.
Tense silence brewed as we descended the stairwell at the end of the hallway.
The comfort I always associated with St. Victoria during the day evaporated at night. There was nothing sacred about these grounds in the afterhours. Allegedly, the school was built on one of the gates of hell. While I found that rumour to be laughable, it didn’t seem so far-fetched right now. On our way to the ground floor, I swore, when I blinked, the angels carved high in the ceiling moldings resembled ghouls instead. And as our thumping footsteps echoed against the floor, my mind imagined the rumbly chuckle of demons and the rough crackling of hell fire.
Just half an hour into the competition and I was beginning to lose my mind.
We passed by a lot of Initiators. They shot us scandalized expressions, gossiping right in front of our faces with no decorum.
“Omigod. I can’t believe they got paired together.”
“I heard he cheated on her. Yikes.”
“Damn, that sucks.”
We pretended to hear nothing.
Unfortunately, our breakup was publicized in front of a big chunk of St. Victoria’s populace. By the end of the competition, news that we were teammates would make the rounds in our circle. People would have a field day with this tidbit.
On our way to the tunnels, we spotted Shaun and Darla by the foyer. My best friend gave us a salute. “Good luck, lovebirds!”
Ella threw him a middle finger.
I rolled my lips into my mouth to tame my grin. When Ella wasn’t looking, I mouthed to him, “You’re the best.”
Shaun shot me an air kiss like a jackass and mouthed back, “I know.”
It didn’t go unnoticed by me how the temperature rose to icy when both girls’ gazes met. It was odd how their sixteen years of friendship ended abruptly. Some months ago, Ella mentioned Darla stopped responding to her texts and calls.
Whether it was Vesta University’s campus or one of the many parties hosted within the society, Darla still remained cordial with me whenever we ran into each other.
Finally, we entered the dimly lit tunnels, the beige cobblestone walls reminiscent of ancient catacombs. Built in the late 1800s, they were used as passages for the nuns and residents to travel underground through the motherhouse. The only way to get to the dormitories from the inside was through here. Even when I was a student, I seldom walked by this path. The musty smell and the eerie atmosphere of the tunnels didn’t mesh well with me.
Nor did the way our flashlights bounced against the walls, giving the illusion of shadowy figures following our every step.
There were many myths surrounding St. Victoria. The walls of the tunnels hiding the bones of the dead convent inhabitants was a popular one.
My favourite, though, was that Sister Victoria made an appearance every time you went downstairs to the crypt, where she and her fellow sisters rested. She’d stand by her grave and stare at you in her habit until you lost your mind or ran away. It was obviously a load of bullshit. I’d been to the crypt twice—once to drink with the boys after a Rangers’ win and another time to fuck Ella in the confessional booth—and never once saw her.
I checked my watch as we fell into a half walk, half jog. “We have about two hours and twenty-four minutes left.”
Ella grimaced. “I want to finish this dare in fifteen minutes flat. Otherwise, we’ll be pressed for time with the other ones.”
Otherwise, we wouldn’t win. That’s what she wanted to say.
“We’ll get you your crown soon. Don’t worry, princess.”
“Don’t call me that,” she hissed and hurried ahead, her shapely ass tempting as hell in those tight jeans.
A shot of pure lust travelled through me. I wanted to lick, bite, and suck my mark onto her ass cheek. The same one where I almost tattooed Property of Cade after a night of hard-core fucking on ecstasy.
I missed Ella so much—her jokes, her laugh, her ability to always set me at ease—but damn me if I didn’t miss that tall model body. She was so easy to handle. I could throw and flip her around like a ragdoll. And she loved it, moaning wantonly when I fucked her in every filthy position. No one could have known that South Side’s resident princess enjoyed being praised, degraded, and treated cruelly in bed.
Fuck, remembering all our wild nights sent blood rushing to my cock.
“Call you what?” I feigned ignorance as we took a left hook in the tunnels. “Princess?”
“Yes.” She seethed. “And if you don’t stop, I won’t be responsible for what I do.”
“What will you do, hm?” A wise man wouldn’t poke the bear. But I loved riling her up.
“Knee you so hard in the balls, you’ll wish you never opened your mouth to speak.”
Grinning, I pushed Ella against the tunnel walls and covered her body with mine.
The way her breath hitched. The way her long orange nails curled into my shoulders. The way her chest rose and fell against my own. The way she bristled at my audacity but wasn’t able to shove me away because she craved this as bad as I did.
I loved it all.
My palms smoothed over her waist, the skin-to-skin contact nearly searing me. I bit back a groan, staring at the pebbled nipples poking through her orange bralette. My mouth watered. I wanted so badly to flick the strings of her top so it came undone and lick her pretty little tits like a starved man devouring his first meal after days.
“Do your worst, Ella,” I rasped. “You know I like it rough.”
“Cade…” she warned. “Your gun’s poking me again.”
I brought my lips close to hers so she could feel my whisper. “That’s not my gun, baby.”
“Ah.” Ella tilted her head, arching a brow. Her glossed lips curled in a pompous smirk. Oh, yeah. She liked knowing she still had that effect on me.
God, she was sexy.
Temperamental, confident, and a whole lot bad.
Feeling emboldened, my hands snaked down to grab chunks of her generous ass, giving it an affectionate squeeze. Just the way she liked it. “Fuck, the things I want to do to you, Ella.”
“In your dreams, querido .”
Querido . Hearing that term of endearment made my heart clench with happiness.
“I always dream of you, sweetheart. Ever since the first moment I saw you.”
Ella’s lips parted and her eyes searched my face for lies, finding nothing but my truth. No matter our history, my feelings for her never waned. Didn’t she realize how much I still loved her? How all I wanted was to be with her again?
I thought the numerous text messages and voicemails I left her like a pathetic beggar the first two weeks after our breakup were an obvious indicator. Not to mention all the times we saw each other since then and how I tried, in vain, to talk to her.
Shadows played on her face from the faint light emanating from the tunnel torches. Her features hardened into a brief scowl. Though she wasn’t ready to face our past now, she would be by the end of the night. I was sure of it.
She dug her claws deeper into my shoulders like a feral cat. “Do you, huh?”
My hand roved over the valley between her breasts, past the hollow at the base of her throat, till my fingers wrapped around her slender neck. “You want to hear what I dream about?”
“Tell me.” She was losing the cocky edge, her voice a hint shaky.
Her gold hoop earrings grazed over my knuckles and my thumb settled right under her chin, tipping her face back so she met my gaze.
I licked my bottom lip.
Her eyes followed the movement like a moth drawn to a flame.
When she absentmindedly licked her own in return, I tightened my hold on her neck.
“ You , Ella. Every. Single. Night,” I rasped. “Your body writhing beneath me, taking every inch of my cock so perfectly. Your voice in my ears, begging for more. Your eyes filled with lust, crying pretty tears.” Ella’s breathing quickened when my arm curved around her bare waist and dragged her body deeper into mine. “I dream of how much you loved it when I fucked you like I hated your guts. How gorgeous you looked with your black ski mask on, while I took you from behind like my dirty little princess. And how you’d split on my dick and bounce that cheer pussy like a bad girl working hard to please her princepin.” I let our lips brush in the hottest almost-kiss of my life. “You’re on my mind twenty-four seven and I still can’t get enough of you.”
Ella absorbed it all, her expression morphing from curiosity to straight up hot, carnal desire. The sensual glint in her eyes cinched my own rapacious need. She knew how much I always desired her, but my words fortified it.
I was so hungry for this girl.
I wanted to devour her sweet cunt while her fingers knotted in my hair and her heels dug into my back. I wanted to kiss her delectable mouth and pound into her while she left scratch marks all over my shoulders. And I wanted to love her now and forever. Until she forgot all the past hurt and made room for the paradise I would bring to her world if she just gave me one more chance to make it right.
“Dream on, Cade,” Ella drawled, acting unaffected by my confession. “You and I will never happen again.”
“What will it take for you to change your mind?”
Ella’s fingers crawled down the front of my leather jacket and slipped underneath the material of my black hoodie, lightly scoring my abs. I shivered when her lips poised at my ear and she whispered seductively, “It’ll cost you.”
“Name your price, baby.”
“I’m priceless, mi corazón . Remember?” She bit my earlobe and I moaned. “You’ll have to gift me something really grand for me to even consider giving you the opportunity to lick my pussy.” She sucked the sting she left behind like a wicked maneater. “And I know just how much you loved tasting me.”
Keeping my gaze on her, I reached for my wallet and pulled out my black card.
My girl liked to spend money and I liked to watch her do it. Good thing I had enough zeros in my bank account to sustain her shopping habits.
“Every cent to my name is yours, Ella.” I fisted the hair at the nape of her neck and tugged hard until her body arched. She watched me with a mixture of hate and lust. The fire in her eyes fueled my own. “It always has been.”
In a move that left her astonished, I shoved the black card in her bralette.
Right under the strap between her tits.
Ella’s eyes widened in surprise.
My fingers skated down to the button of her high-waisted jeans. I flicked it open and stopped at the zipper, gauging her reaction. Ella’s silence felt like a challenge. She was testing me. Seeing how far I was willing to take it.
Grabbing her hips, I dropped down to my knees like a sinner seeking reparation. My atonement could only come if she bestowed it upon me. “Change your mind yet, sweetheart?”
In a move that left me astonished and even more aroused, Ella stole my gun and cocked it against my jaw. “Every cent?”
Fucking hell, she was going to be my end.
“Every. Single. Cent.” Impatient hands molded down her thighs, urging her to spread her legs. Or call off this bluff. My cock couldn’t handle this much teasing. It was straining in the confinements of my briefs.
I felt her sinful smile down to my balls. “What’s the pin?”
“Eight, nine, nine, six.”
Ella couldn’t hide her shock. When we were together, I had a different pin.
Now it was her birthday.
“Mm.” Digging my gun’s barrel into my jaw, Ella’s nails grazed my cheek before her thumb snagged over my bottom lip, pulling gently. “Is that so—”
The sentence hung in the air.
Her eyes flared at my new tattoo. My favourite one yet.
ELLA was inked in the inside skin of my bottom lip.
The love of my life stared at my tattoo with a speechlessness that had my heart drumming a fast rhythm against my ribcage.
“What else do you want?” I urged now that she had my gun and access to my riches. “My Ferrari? My book collection? Maybe another bouquet of orange lollipops?”
At the mention of orange lollipops, the hand holding my gun faltered.
Ella had an affinity for orange. The colour, the taste, the scent. Every month, I’d make her a bouquet of orange lollipops because they were her favourites and gift them to her with a handwritten letter. It was a small offering but perhaps the most meaningful one to her.
I wondered how she’d react to knowing I still carried orange lollipops in my pocket whenever I left the house. Sometimes it was for myself—a treat for whenever I missed her. Other times it was on the off-chance that I ran into her and…I didn’t even want to finish that thought. It birthed too much hope and I had to thread carefully for the sake of my own heart.
Ella removed her thumb from my lip and tried to compose herself. It was too late. I saw all the repressed emotions bubbling beneath her surface. Anger. Desire. Fear…of falling for me again.
“Oh, Cade,” Ella started with a saccharine sweet tone—the total opposite of her deviant nature—and cocked the gun at my jaw once more. For a second, I thought she’d actually pull the trigger. “While you look great on your knees, you should know that no amount of money or grovelling can make me change my mind. Once I throw trash out the door, I never look back.” She patted my cheek condescendingly. “Hold onto your dreams because that’s the only time you’ll ever be with me again.”
Trash. Out the door. Never look back.
My hands fell away from her thighs like I’d been burned. Goddamn, that hurt like a motherfucker. So much so that it robbed me of breath.
Ella used my stillness to push away from the wall and dart towards the dormitories.
It took me a few seconds to cool off before I got to my feet and ran after her. I wouldn’t be deterred by her rudeness. I prepared myself for this version of her tonight.
Ella was a fast runner.
But I was faster.
The predator in me thrived on the chase. It caused the blood running through my veins to pump vigorously.
And Ella was well aware that I’d chase her until the ends of the Earth. Come high or hell water. I made a promise ages ago that I would never let her go.
When I caught up to her, I grabbed her waist and hauled her over my shoulder fireman style, ignoring her squeals. “Where do you think you’re going, huh?” I growled.
“Away from you!” she growled back, kicking her legs out like a brat throwing a tantrum. “I’m going to win this game without your help. I don’t fucking need you!”
I carried her the short distance towards Balthazar Building’s indoor entrance. “Yeah, right. Without me, you’ll be stuck here till dawn trying to solve the riddles. You need me. Whether you like it or not.”
“Fuck you!”
“Ask me like a good girl and I might consider giving you the opportunity to suck my dick,” I goaded. “I remember how much you loved getting your face fucked, Ella.”
Feeble fists pounded at my back. “Let me down, asshole! Or I really will knee you in the balls! I’m not kidding! Cade !”
“Careful, princess .” I spanked her ass in two successive swats that echoed in the tunnels. “Once I redden your ass into my favourite shade of red, I’ll fuck the disrespectfulness out of you in no time.”
“You’re insufferable.” She squirmed in my hold. “Are you forgetting I literally have a gun in my hand?”
Dark amusement curved my lips. “Hard to forget since you currently have it poised at my head.”
We reached the door leading to Balthazar Building and I dropped Ella to her feet. She swayed with a curse and I rapidly retrieved my gun, tucking it back in the waistband of my pants. Then I backed Ella against the hard surface, pressing my hands on either side of her head.
Her chest heaved up and down with her inhales and exhales. She glared at me with a daring expression.
In the dead quietness of the tunnels, every breath and heartbeat felt magnified.
It was the chase. It always exhilarated both of us. The excitement mixed with fear released a rush of adrenaline that roused our pulses like no other.
“Would you have done it?” I asked gently.
“Done what?” she spat.
“Shoot me.”
Ella’s shoulders deflated and she closed her eyes on a sigh. “No. Even if I hate you, I don’t wish you dead.”
“What will it take for you to forgive me?”
Silence stretched between us for a few seconds. When Ella answered, her voice was thick with emotions. “A miracle, Cade.”
I flinched, hearing what she really wanted to say. For you to not have broken my heart. For the last three months to have been a fever dream. For us to go back in time and erase all the wrongness that overshadowed our perfect start.
“Ella—”
“Don’t,” she said vehemently. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” My tone was inexplicably hoarse.
“Like you want to kiss me,” she whispered. “And never stop.”
“I always want to kiss you, Ella,” I whispered back. “That’s what I dream about most. Kissing you and never, ever coming up for air.”
My words punctured another layer of her thinly composed mask.
I stepped back to give her space and focused on the electronic lock.
While I entered the combination, Ella stared straight ahead. Unblinking. Frozen like a goddess Nemesis statue. Trying to make sense of what I just said.
With a small buzz, the door unlocked.
Ella didn’t budge. Neither did I.
Maybe I underestimated the depth of her hurt. Maybe I was a fool to believe that a handful of hours would be enough to convince Ella to give me another chance. The way she stood now with an unyielding quality, I feared our three-month separation had cemented her walls to a point where breaking them would be nearly impossible.
Though I would not stop trying.
“Clock’s ticking, Ella,” I told her.
She snapped back from whatever place her mind had wandered off too and marched past my body, but not before uttering words that sliced me. “There was a time when I dreamed of you too, Cade. But you broke us and there’s no coming back from that.”