Chapter 23
C H A P T E R2 3
The Aftermath
Cade
The Past - 3 months ago
“S tay the fuck away from me, you piece of shit! We. Are. Fucking. Done!”
“Get away from me!”
“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever fucking touch me again, you filthy two-timing scum!”
Those horrendous words taunted me, piercing through my chest and birthing a large void that made it hard to breathe. The venom in them sank into my muscles like poison and I choked on every syllable.
I had to tell Ella the truth.
She had to take back what she said.
She didn’t mean it.
She couldn’t .
“Ella,” I called again, my voice low and slurred. I pursued her as fast as I could, but the liquor in my system slowed me down and my pace was sluggish.
Ella had to hear me out.
She had to understand that what happened in the room was a mistake.
Ella, I thought it was you I was holding, touching, kissing. I only ever want to hold, touch, kiss you. And the second I realized it wasn’t you, I was revolted. It was a mistake. An honest to God mistake. You texted me to meet you there. I came for you, Ella. I love you, Ella. Please don’t leave me, Ella.
My girlfriend disappeared in an ocean of silhouettes, each one doubling and faded at the edges. I stumbled after her. The air she left behind reeked of anger, dejectedness, embarrassment, and heartbreak. Every emotion that had no business occupying her beautiful self.
My head spun. Past the hazy fog clouding my senses, I think I saw people gawking, laughing, and filming the entire scene. I think I also heard the distinct sound of one of my friends hollering my name.
I kept pushing my limbs to move quicker, despite the suffocating environment. No matter how hard I inhaled, I couldn’t get enough oxygen.
Fuck, I didn’t recall drinking this much. I usually…had a good tolerance. Nor did I go above my limits.
Why…Why am I feeling like this?
Drowsy, no inhibitions, and moments from falling into a deep sleep.
I didn’t remember how I made it outside or how I found myself standing near the gates of the estate, close to the woods, where Ella often parked her Ducati or Porsche. That connection of ours, forged the second I laid eyes on her and strengthened over the course of our relationship, thrummed like a potent instinct, telling me she’d be here.
The dark night and the strong gust of wind rustling the tree leaves made it difficult to see or focus. My breaths turned choppy and a rivulet of sweat trickled from my brow into my eye.
Everything inside of me felt off-kilter, cataclysmically wrong.
The sound of a devastated cry had me swinging my head to the left. There she was. My light at the end of the dark tunnel. Ella. Mo chuisle. Mi vida.
Like a hopeless fool, I staggered after her, calling out her name.
Ella didn’t hear or see me.
Instead, she got into her car and drove away.
The angry screech of her tires was the last audible sound echoing in my ears. It hurt. The lacerations Ella left on my heart with her departure.
“You have me now. I’ll never leave you.”
Her promise. She broke it.
She said she’d never leave me…and she did.
Without even hearing me out, she tossed me aside like I was a used-up, dirty napkin.
Did she have so little faith in me that she thought I’d willingly cheat? Did I not make it clear the only girl I was crazy about was her ?
Ella had to hear me out.
This couldn’t be the end of us.
I refused to believe it—refused to accept it.
Numbness spread through me like a wildfire. I stood alone in the dark, panting and grief-stricken.
Out of nowhere, the back of a gun slammed against my temple and caused pain to explode all over my skull. I lost my balance and fell to my knees with a curse.
What…What the fuck was that?
Groaning, I went to grab my forehead when suddenly, my arms were yanked back in an unyielding hold.
Overpowered, I watched through a blurry gaze as four bodies buzzed around me, hushed voices erupting from their mouths. Guy Fawkes masks concealing their faces, they wore all black attire…almost like…
The stranger who bumped into me before I left to go find Ella in my room.
My senses were impaired, yet my fight and flight response still kicked in. Trying to struggle and scream was all in vain, though. I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself, let alone take on four individuals.
One punched me across the face and the coppery taste of blood filled my mouth.
The second cocked a gun at my sweat-slickened temple.
The third slapped manacles on my wrists.
The fourth…crouched down in front of me.
With a gloved hand, he grabbed my chin in a bruising grip and assessed my face. I couldn’t see any of their characteristics. But I knew with certainty that this one was their leader. “How much did you give him?”
He talked to the one with the gun. “Enough Benzos in his drink that he can’t fight back but remembers every second of us fucking him up.”
Benzos? Drink? Can’t fight back?
Dread swirled in the pit of my stomach.. Too many sensations and thoughts ran haywire through me. I felt like a system about to short-circuit.
“Good.” The one in front of me patted my face like I was an obedient lap dog. I couldn’t see his face, but I heard the smile in his muffled voice. “How does it feel to get a dose of your own medicine, Remington? I bet you didn’t see us coming, huh? We’re going to enjoy exacting revenge. Even your daddy and brother won’t be able to recognize you once we’re through with you.”
If anything happened to me, Josh and Uncle Vance would avenge me. I wasn’t scared or worried. I mustered enough strength to spit at his masked-face. Some of the saliva dribbled down my chin. “K-kiss my ass, you little bitch.”
“Fucking cocky bastard!” He backhanded me and rose to his feet. “Drag him into the car. We’ll show him who’s a little bitch soon.”
Using the last bit of my fight, I grappled to be free as they hauled me towards the gates. An unmarked black Escalade sat at the curb. Fuck . They were going to kidnap me, beat me to death, and no one would know where I was.
A girlish shriek boomed in the air.
My captors’ heads swivelled in the direction of the sound.
Through heavy lids, I spotted none other than Darla, standing near the edge of the woods. As though she just emerged from there and fell upon us. “Oh my God! What are you doing? Let him go!”
Darla’s screams drew the attention of others.
More shouts rang in the air, sounding like my friends nearing us.
Darla ran towards me bravely, not realizing that these masked fuckers were dangerous and had guns. They wouldn’t hesitate to shoot us both. I tried to yell at her to stay away, but only garbled sounds escaped me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” One of the masked men growled. “There’s too many of them. Forget him and let’s get out of here! Now!”
They dropped me and I crashed forward, the side of my face scraping against the cobblestone driveway. I rolled over to my back with my hands still tied, groaning from the pain circulating through my body.
Darla reached me first, falling to her knees. “Oh, God! Cade? Can you hear me?” She pressed two fingers to my neck, feeling my pulse. “Are you okay?”
I tried to speak, but my stomach churned and I gagged. Acid bubbled at the base of my throat and trickled up to my mouth. Darla automatically shifted me to my side and I retched loudly. It was long, gross, and extremely humbling.
During my vomiting episode, my friends reached us too. Shaun dropped beside Darla. “We caught him leaving the house, chasing after Ella. He didn’t look fine. What the fuck happened here?” he demanded.
“I don’t know,” Darla rushed out, distraught, and dabbed at the blood on my face with a handkerchief. “I was coming out of the woods and I saw four guys dragging him to the gates.”
“What did they look like?”
“They all wore black and their faces were covered. That’s all I saw.” Darla’s hand trembled as it continued wiping my face. “Shaun, this is a lot of blood. Oh, God. This is bad. This is really bad.”
“The car’s gone!” I think Nico spoke. “Black Escalade. No license plate.”
“Cade, can you hear us?” Shaun spoke close to my ear, brushing my forehead with his hand. “Fuck, he’s burning up.”
“We have to get him to a hospital.”
“N-No,” I protested weakly. No hospitals. That would cause too many questions. We always handled business behind closed doors.
“He doesn’t look right,” Sam said. “We should—”
“N-No.” I cut them off then heaved.
“Fuck,” I heard Nate cussing. “We need to find Josh and see if there’s someone who can handle this discreetly since he’s insisting on no hospitals.”
I started vomiting again while the boys sought help. Darla and Shaun stayed with me. The former kept cleaning my face while the latter rubbed my back and put his hand under my head so it wasn’t resting on the cold ground.
Eventually, it was all over. I closed my eyes and breathed softly when the summer wind glided over my feverish skin, cooling me down.
“Shaun, I’m going to get him some water from my car while the others go find Josh.” Darla said. “Don’t leave him, okay?”
“I won’t,” Shaun said. Now it was just us two, the sound of crickets, and the uneasy rustling of the trees. I’d never seen my best friend look this worried. “Fuck, Cade. What have you gotten yourself into?”
It wasn’t uncommon to have enemies in my family’s business. But it was the first time I got up close and personal with the consequences of it.
“Someone…drugged…benzos.”
“You were roofied?” Shaun asked with incredulity.
I couldn’t confirm or deny it, too drained from having emptied my guts until there was nothing left inside of me.
Except for one thought pulsing through my chest like a heartbeat.
Ella. Ella. Ella.
Always Ella.
Ella
M y hands trembled on the steering wheel as I arrived home and parked in my driveway. It was nearing midnight and the entire house was asleep, an otherworldly serene floating in the atmosphere, like the calm before the storm.
The second I turned off the ignition, the dam holding back my tears broke. The windshield in front of me blurred. I cried with wracking sobs, accompanied by that strange pain buzzing through my lower back and belly.
How did I even get here?
One day I was happy and fulfilled with Cade, and the next day my entire world was crushed to pieces by his unforeseen betrayal. I gave our relationship my everything, only to be dealt with this fuckery.
I didn’t understand. Why did Cade cheat on me? Was I not enough for him? Did he no longer love me? Did his friends know he was cheating on me and covered his tracks? Was he seeing her behind my back this whole time? Or was this the first time they hooked up?
Cade was supposed to be faithful and devoted until the very end. Just like he swore many moons ago.
“Then I’ll promise you that this will last past our dying breaths until I inevitably find you again in the next lifetime, Ella.”
Liar.
Dirty fucking liar.
At the reminder of all his fake vows, my sobs halted and my tears dried up.
Fuck him and fuck all his promises. Cheat on me once and you were dead to me. I wasn’t the kind of girl who would take back her man just because she loved him.
And the love I felt for him was dying a slow death, curling on its edges like parchment paper set on fire until a pile of ash remained in its place.
Cade Killian Remington was going to regret the day he hurt me.
He called me crazy, right?
After tonight, I’d fucking show him crazy.
I stepped out of the car, adrenaline surging through my bloodstream.
First, I ripped off the necklace he gave me and threw it into the lawn with a battle cry. Then, I smashed the box of cupcakes on the ground and stomped on it a few times, reducing the little cakes to a mushy mess. The guards patrolling the perimeters probably thought that Francisco Cordova’s daughter lost her goddamn marbles.
My chest heaved when I was done.
Though I didn’t feel an iota better than before.
In fact, when grief trickled through my veins again, my mind taunted me with images of Cade and the other girl. I couldn’t believe it. The love of my life cheated on me and ruined us beyond repair. We’d never recover from this. Now I was pregnant, alone, scared, and in so much agony, I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole.
This was the worst feeling I ever experienced.
I swore to myself that after tonight, I’d sever all physical, mental, and emotional ties with Cade.
Angry thoughts fueled by insecurity continued to tumble through my mind like a chain reaction as I entered my home. I wondered to myself what would make me feel better. A bubble bath? Reruns of my favourite sitcoms? Or a hot mug of champurrado?
But the latter only reminded me more of my ex-boyfriend.
I closed my eyes, inhaling shakily.
He was everywhere.
In every thing, in every memory, in every breath.
A shot of pain zinged through my core and I stumbled, holding on to the wall for support.
What…What was that?
Suddenly, I felt wetness pooling in my thong.
Followed by another cramp.
Somehow, I managed to make it to my bedroom as quietly as possible without waking up my parents or Emilio. On the next bout of sharp pain, I used my fist to muffle my gasp and threw open the door of my en suite, dashing inside.
My heart jackhammered and my frantic fingers reached under the skirt of my dress to see the verdict.
Blood .
Thick, red blood soaked the lining of my white thong.
Dread swept through me as a sinking realization pounded in my brain.
“ No, no, no, no .” I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, a wild and terrified look in my eyes. “ Please, no .”
Deep loss curled into my muscles, weighing me down. I fell back against the wall before landing in a heap on the bathroom floor.
No, no, no, no.
Despite chanting it, I knew with conviction that this wasn’t a period. Nor was this mild spotting during my first trimester. The sharp pains in my body weren’t related to my heartbreak but to this .
Did I…Did I actually miscarry my baby?
For the third time tonight, I cried, pulling my knees to my chest to muffle my sobs in the material of my dress.
I was wrong.
This was the worst feeling I ever experienced.
Moments trickled into solid minutes as I cried like never before. Tonight’s rollercoaster of emotions shook me. From being ecstatic about my pregnancy and baking cupcakes for Cade, to fury at catching him with the other girl, to sheer devastation at my loss.
How was I going to recover from this? How would I move on from this pain? I could never tell my parents, my friends, or even Cade what happened.
The truth would remain buried with me forever.
The sound of tiny footsteps padding into my room had my head snapping up. Emilio entered the en suite in his Batman pyjamas, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
Oh, God.
He must have heard me wailing.
Emilio squeaked when he saw me. Defeated, body trembling, and black mascara streaks down my face.
Scared, my five-year-old brother fell beside me, all traces of sleep evading him. “Ella?”
“I-I’m okay, manito . Please go back to bed and don’t tell anyone you saw me.”
His eyes wide with fear, he rested a small hand against my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
I brushed my fingers tenderly through his hair. “Nothing, Emi. You shouldn’t be awake right now. Go back to sleep.” I smiled to the best of my ability. “I’m okay.”
Maybe if I kept repeating it, I’d eventually believe it.
My pain seeped into him and Emilio started crying too, despite not knowing what was happening. He wrapped his small arms around my frame and hugged me tight, squeezing with all the might in his little body. As if he was trying to glue my insides, which were falling apart by the seams, back together.
In a way, it was working.
Years from now, the only comfort I would recall from this moment was my little brother’s hug. Siblings really were the greatest treasure from above. Friends and lovers may come and go, but these relationships were forever. They’d stand the test of time.
“P-Please, Ella.” He sniffled, hiding his face in my throat. “What’s wrong?”
I pressed my cheek to his soft curls and placed his hand on my stomach. “I lost my baby.”
“No.” He shook his head determinedly, blinking big wet brown eyes at me. “I’m still here.”
“ Emi .” I cried even harder at his gentle innocence. Emilio didn’t understand, and I didn’t expect him to. He thought I meant him because he was the baby of the family. “I know. I know you’ll always be here.”
I crushed him to my chest and he said nothing more, comforting me by brushing kisses against my cheek and patting my face with affection.
“I’ll be okay, Emi. Please don’t cry anymore.”
“Y-You stop crying first,” he sobbed into my chest.
I sighed at how cute and desolate that sounded at the same time. Rocking us slowly, I hummed his favourite lullaby, hoping to put him to sleep.
While silently cursing Cade to hell.
When Emilio fell asleep, I put him to bed and cleaned myself up. Without anyone’s knowledge, I drove to the hospital with a towel under my seat. This was a battle I needed to brave on my own. Residual aches still pulsing through my middle, I listened to the ER doctor telling me with sympathy that miscarriages so early in the pregnancy weren’t uncommon. I didn’t cry. I didn’t make a single sound. Stony-faced, I digested the truth of my situation—sometimes these things happened and there was no concrete reason. There was nothing I could have done to prevent losing my baby.
After giving me instructions on how to care for myself—pads for bleeding, painkillers for pain, plenty of rest, and lots of proper nutrition—she squeezed my shoulder, probably taking pity on a teenager who arrived in the middle of the night looking haggard.
The drive back home in the wee hours was a blur. When I changed into pyjamas and crawled into my bed, wide awake and staring at my ceiling, still processing my loss, I knew in the deepest recesses of my soul that I’d never forgive Cade.
Even if he begged, grovelled, and offered excuses.
He humiliated me and made a mockery of my love.
Forgiving him came with a heavy price. My pride. And that was one currency I never bartered with.
If he tried to call or text me, I wouldn’t know until I got a replacement phone. And even if he tried contacting me, I’d ignore him until he got it through his thick skull that we were done.
That’s if he cares to apologize. He’s probably having sex with that girl, Ella, while you’re forgotten, alone, and no longer pregnant. Maybe he’s already over you. Maybe he’s been over you. Maybe he never loved you and it was all a lie. He played you. He played you so masterfully, it’s hilarious. You’re pathetic, crying and pining over him. You were never important. Every nickname was a joke. You are a joke. One he’s laughing at right now…
I clutched the roots of my hair and screwed my eyes shut, trying to block out all these thoughts. A choked sob burst past my lips and I clamped a hand over my mouth, refusing to cry past this point, refusing to replay the moment where I caught him with her, refusing to feel anything but hatred for him moving forward.
It was an hour before I was able to pull myself together.
The lull of sleep slowly drew my body into a quiet—far from peaceful—sleep with thoughts of Cade still ricocheting in my mind.
I wanted to marry you, Cade.
I wanted to have our baby and start a family with you, Cade.
I wanted you to be mine forever, Cade.
Why couldn’t you want these things too?