8. Chapter Eight
CHAPTER EIGHT
I was sleeping on a cloud. Safe. Protected. Warm. I wanted to curl up to this cloud, and I squeezed it closer to my body. A small groan came from my cloud, breaking my quiet dream.
Benedikt was in the bed with me when I opened my eyes. His one eye was closed in his sleep, and his cock stood straight up in bed, as he laid on his back. It was throbbing and waving in the air, like it wanted my mouth to sink on it.
And so what if I did?
If he woke up, I could just say I fell on his cock by accident, right? That happened all the time. I pulled the sheet lower on his body, unveiling his bobbing dick to the morning air.
I didn’t feel exhausted right now.
I felt strong. I felt capable. I felt powerful.
I leaned closer to his cock. He didn’t move at all. I breathed on it, watching as it throbbed from my breath. He kept breathing slowly. I opened my mouth, forcing my jaw as wide as possible, because he was so thick.
I enveloped his cock in my mouth.
A groan escaped his throat, and his eye squeezed tight in his sleep. I tested a slurp and he stayed still. Only his chest moved up and down. With a small groan from his scent, I took him to the base. He whimpered in the back of his throat and that spurred me on. My pussy was soaking wet as I deep throated him again, holding him in my throat until tears pricked my eyes.
“My malen'kiy angel,” he whispered. “What sorcery are you wielding this morning,” he groaned as I took him deep.
I said nothing, bobbing up and down on his cock, worshiping him. All that could be heard over his moans were my sloppy kisses, as I kept up the pace. My jaw ached, but I wanted to taste him. I wanted to chase this feeling before the shame set in.
“I’m cumming,” he cried out, thrusting deeply into my throat in his haste to orgasm. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he cried, fisting my hair.
His come filled my throat, and I swallowed it all down, barely tasting it, much to my displeasure. For one moment, I felt almost high. Euphoric from making him feel this way. A powerful queen who brought her king to his knees.
But that feeling didn’t last long.
By the time his cock shrunk in size, I felt small too. He tried to touch me affectionately, but I couldn’t help feeling dirty. I didn’t understand why. With a strange keening sound coming from my throat, I jumped up and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
My breathing was uncontrollable, as the mounting shame and panic piled up within me.
Maybe if I stopped breathing, he’d finally leave me alone.
“Isadora.” Benedikt pounded on the door with a growl. “Open the door and let me in.”
I couldn’t answer him as I sank to the floor, clutching my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t see. I felt dirty, like my flesh was crawling with bugs. I scratched at my arms, trying to get the itch to go away .
I couldn’t.
“Isadora!” Benedikt was screaming now. The door shook on its hinges from his banging. “Open the door,” he roared.
I still couldn’t bring myself to answer his command.
I could feel his anger through the door. He was going to hurt me. All that bullshit of him trying to make me feel safe was just that. I knew he couldn’t be trusted. I heard the wood creak as he broke through.
I huddled in the corner beside the tub, waiting for my punishment. I didn’t know why I knew I was about to be punished, I just did.
“I’ll be good. I’ll be good. I’ll be good,” I cried.
Benedikt tore his way into the bathroom, and fell to his knees beside me. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”
I stopped chanting, confused. Why would he ask me that? He touched all over my body, checking for injuries, as I shivered and shook on the tiled floor. “I’ll be good,” I whispered.
Benedikt groaned. “You are good, my malen'kiy angel. So fucking good.” He held my face between his hands like I was precious. Had I ever been treated like glass before?
“I’ll be good,” I said brokenly. I couldn’t stop saying it. I didn’t know why.
“Shh. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Benedikt helped me to my shaky feet.
He peeled off my clothes and took off his boxers. His eyes heated as he looked over my body, but he helped me into the shower without touching me sexually. I mean, of course, because I sucked the soul out of his body.
He probably couldn’t get it up if he wanted to.
“What’s so funny?” Benedikt asked as he soaped a rag.
I realized there was a small smile on my face. I hadn’t noticed my muscles moving at all. “Oh, nothing,” I mumbled.
The world wouldn’t notice if I stopped existing. My mind strayed with that intrusive thought .
“Don’t do that,” Benedikt demanded, snapping me out of my negative mind. “If I ask you something, I want to know the brutal truth. Don’t hide from me.”
Startled, I responded, “Is that a rule?”
“Yes,” Benedikt didn’t even hesitate.
“Alright then.” I could follow simple rules. I wouldn’t be here for long, but while I was here, I wouldn’t disappoint him.
“I can get you anything you want. I just want to know where you are,” Benedikt said.
“Why?” I didn’t understand why he would even care.
“You’ll understand soon.”
My head throbbed, and I reached up to rub it. Benedikt’s eye focused on my head. “Are you in pain?”
I nodded, although it didn’t make my head feel any better.
“I’ll feed you as soon as we finish cleaning,” Benedikt vowed.
Confused, I asked again, “Why are you doing this?”
Benedikt shrugged as he finished washing my body. “You’re mine.”
I shook my throbbing head, feeling it worsen. “No, I have to go back to my family and marry someone. I think that’s what’s supposed to happen, right? Valentina told me.”
Benedikt frowned. “She shouldn’t be telling you anything about business. But that’s no longer the plan.”
I felt my anxiety creeping up on me again. “What is the plan then?”
Benedikt gave me a gentle look. “I will tell you as soon as you need to know. Right now, you need to focus on healing.”
I wanted to scream that I wasn’t a child. That he could tell me exactly what was coming for me next. Was it death? Did my fiancé no longer want me? Did my family decide I wasn’t worth it?
All this negativity swirling in my mind distracted me as Benedikt dried my body off. He threw a t-shirt over me, without me even realizing we were in the closet. He held some yoga pants up and then tossed them to the side. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of blue panties.
He helped me step into them and slid them up my body. Heat ran through me from his touch on my bare skin. Benedikt grabbed a soft skirt and had me slip it on. He winked once I was dressed, uncaring that he was still wearing a wet towel.
It took him no time at all to throw on sweatpants and a t-shirt. I was numb, standing in the closet, barely registering that he was getting dressed. He grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room down to the kitchen.
His large, calloused fingers gripped mine tightly, as we walked into the kitchen together. My stomach made a small sound from the smells swirling in the air.
“You haven’t eaten since yesterday,” he growled.
A bright feeling in the center of my chest bloomed from him remembering something so unimportant about me. Who remembered when the last time I ate was? I couldn’t remember anyone caring about me like that.
He sat me down and nudged a servant out of his way, his commanding presence making all the staff work almost in double time, as if they were trying to impress him. I wondered if being under the roof of one of the most notorious killers, according to Valentina, made Benedikt paranoid.
Why else would he make my food for me?
Clearly he believed I was going to be poisoned. What my delusional brain took as care, was just him doing his job, as my assigned bodyguard. Warden. Whatever the Brotherhood wanted to call it.
As Benedikt prepared a simple grilled cheese and tomato soup for me, his hands shook. I wondered if he was nervous. It was hard to get a read on him. Was his heart racing, like mine did when he was in my presence? Probably not. He was an older guy. Hot as he may be, he probably thought of me as a child.
His lust was probably due to it being morning time. Of course if a willing woman was in his vicinity he would give her attention. I didn’t matter to him. I could be any broad. He probably made meals for all his side pieces.
For all I knew, he was married.
The conflicting thoughts in my mind tore me apart, as I sat quietly watching him in the kitchen. He placed a steaming bowl and plate in front of me, but I didn’t even glance down at it. I stared at him, wondering what kind of man he truly was.
My heart raced when my eyes connected with his eye.
He walked around the counter, and slowly sank into the chair next to mine, sliding my curls away from my face. His eye was beautiful and intense as he gazed at my profile. I didn’t turn to look at him, fearful of what he made me feel.
His eye stayed fixed on me as he moved the plate closer, ss if urging me to eat his food. I leaned forward, smelling the soup, hoping it would help my appetite to stir.
Nothing.
I picked up one half of the sandwich, and nibbled on the corner.
I still wasn’t hungry. I sat the sandwich down, and watched from the corner of my eye as Benedikt reached out, almost like his hand had a mind of its own, and touched my collarbone. It was showing, since the shirt had slid down my shoulders. Benedikt traced the jagged lines of my tattoo that was peeking out from beneath my shirt.
Breaking the tension, I tore my body away from him and grabbed the spoon, his eye following my every move. Benedikt grabbed the half of the grilled cheese I’d abandoned. Its edges were crisped to perfection, and he dipped it into the steaming soup. The cheese stretched slightly, a tantalizing thread of warmth between the slices of bread.
He brought it up to my lips, and as I parted them slightly, looking into his eyes, he fed me. The bite exploded on my tongue, hitting my taste buds harder than it had when I took a bite.
I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure, my eyes fell shut, and my head tipped back, as I savored the most delicious morsel of food I’d ever had. I chewed slowly, not wanting the taste and feeling to go away.
Heat surged through me from his hand feeding me another bite. I don’t recall ever feeling like this with my food. I tried to keep the moaning down, but I couldn’t help myself. Every bite he fed me was so delicious.
Like he was feeding more than my stomach. This man was feeding my soul. And I didn’t know how I felt about that exactly. The feeling that stirred within me couldn’t be named. So I kept opening my mouth, and he kept feeding me pieces.
Silently we sat in each other’s presence. I’d felt more like myself than I ever had before.