16. Chapter Sixteen
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I woke up with a sore throat a few days later, and an even sorer pussy. Benedikt had drugged me at that reception, I was sure of it, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. I stretched my arms above my head, wincing from the pull. My body was sore, and I could only assume my new husband took his pleasure and fucked me in my sleep like usual, from the feeling in between my legs. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to want anymore.
I stretched again with a groan and pulled myself out of bed begrudgingly. What’s the point of getting up when nothing changes? Why bother? Nothing would change. There was an aspirin on the nightstand, with a glass of water. That bastard. I took the medicine dry, in as much defiance as I could muster.
I flopped back.
My head was killing me. Memories swirled right underneath the surface. I stood up on wobbly legs, trying to make it to the bathroom. I turned on the light and hissed at the pain. I tripped and fell to the ground, smacking my head against the tile .
Ten years old
“I don’t want to get married, papa,” I cried.
My father sat at the head of the dining table, his fork raised to his lips, and his mouth hanging open, as he was just about to eat the next bite of his meal.
“You do not have a choice,” he said simply.
“Don’t freak out about it. He will take care of you,” my mother chimed in.
I stabbed my fork into my food, looking toward my brothers to help. Each avoided my eyes, as I searched down the table for a friendly face.
“Why can’t it be when I’m ready?” I grumbled, like the child I was.
“Therefore, we are sending her to The Academy. He’ll be furious if she speaks like this when he is ready to claim her,” my mother whispered loudly. She’d been drinking throughout dinner and was sloppy drunk now.
“Let’s get her out of the house now, before she becomes a bigger burden,” my father agreed.
A flash behind my eyes, and a new scene took hold. I was only seventeen.
Headmaster Mikhail summoned me to his office again, and I walked in on shaky legs. I hated it when he called me down here. I’d been avoiding him for hours, but his appetites never wavered.
“Ah, Isadora,” he said like an old friend. “Come in and shut the door.”
I didn’t want to, but if I left it open, I would be punished for everyone to see. I would rather my humiliation not be witnessed.
“Kneel.”
I kept standing.
“You have not learned your lesson, I see,” he said sadly.
I held back a scoff. Headmaster Mikhail didn’t give a damn. He took great joy in my defiance. He made my indifference painful. If I didn’t react, one or more of the girls could get hurt.
We were so afraid, now that Valentina wasn’t protecting us. Headmaster Mikhail was unhinged. He didn’t care about the girls he was selecting. It was almost like he had a death wish.
He’d brought many of the younger girls into his office with me, his tastes running younger and younger.
He dragged me by my hair down to the crypt, and locked me inside. I didn’t scream this time. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I slammed my hands against the lid, as if it would do me any good.
My body froze when I heard the haunting scurrying sounds of the rats.
Another painful flash, as memory after memory of my life flashed behind my eyes. I was a Cartel bastard. A princess in her own right. I’d been sold into marriage at a young age. My fiancé was an awful Cartel leader, who wanted to expand the new drug my family was pushing out.
I couldn’t believe this.
The Bratva would kill me if they knew who I was, but they’d gotten files of some of us girls from The Academy. What if one of them was mine, and they already knew who I was? Could that be possible?
I stayed on the tiled floor until my head stopped throbbing as much. As I slowly sat up, I realized I felt better than I had since I was rescued. My mind was clear. There were no voices and no flashes of anything.
I wondered if all of my memories were in place, but I wasn’t willing to poke more. The information I’d learned had been more than enough. I wasn’t certain if my life was in danger or not.
Benedikt didn’t seem like he wanted to kill me. He acted as if he needed to get me pregnant as fast as possible. Maybe that was the solution; become the mother of his child and I was safe.
That was absurd.
Babies didn’t protect anyone. They just complicated matters. I was certain of that. There had to be another way to stop the Venezuelans from hunting me down. I could plead my case to my newfound Russian family. But if the Venezuelans were doing what I think they were doing, Benedikt may snap my neck in retribution.
I stood underneath the shower spray with a clear head, and a churning in my belly. I was supposed to be married to one of the worst capitáns in our history. He slaughtered anyone who looked at him sideways.
Women were property to him, and he owned slaves.
I didn’t want that to be my life, and I was vocal about it, so my parents sent me to The Academy. According to them, all I was good for was being a broodmare. I went there trying to escape one nightmare, and fell into another.
Headmaster Mikhail broke my spirit.
Of everyone in The Academy, I don’t understand why he set his sights on me. Why he forced me to do things I could never speak about again, his proclivities breaking my soul, one day at a time.
I headed out of the shower and dried myself off. I padded into the room and got myself dressed. I didn’t know where I was heading. I couldn’t run. I was already married to Benedikt.
I didn’t know what to do. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up bile in the toilet.
“Isadora?”
I groaned when I heard his thick accented voice calling my name. Why couldn’t he leave me to die in peace? I heard his footsteps coming until he was right upon me.
“Isa?” He whispered.
“What do you want?” I moaned.
“Are you alright?”
I wanted to shake my head, but it would make me sick. “That drug you gave me is hurting me,” I whimpered.
“Shit,” Benedikt mumbled before moving away.
I wanted to ask for him to come back, but I was too shaky. I laid my head, which was throbbing once again, on the floor. Benedikt was back in a flash. He laid my head in his lap, and held a cool cloth on my forehead.
“ Malen'kiy angel, what is the meaning of this? What has happened to you?”
I didn’t know what to say other than, “I am overcome by the last few nights.”
“That is understandable, but you must take better care of yourself. You are going to be the mother of my children soon,” he murmured.
I nodded slightly wincing from the pain.
“I know you don’t want to go back to bed, but let me carry you down to the observatory. You can watch Tiffany plant, while trying to eat something.”
That didn’t sound like a bad idea, so I didn’t protest. I allowed Benedikt to slowly swing me in his arms in a bridal carry, and take me downstairs. We walked around the grounds just like that, until we reached the observatory.
Benedikt didn’t care about anyone looking, and no one questioned him.
Not that I expected them to. Benedikt had a commanding aura. His silver hair showed how much experience he had. I was certain if someone challenged him, he could kill them with no problem.
He placed me on a comfortable chaise, and motioned for a servant. They came rushing in with a stand and plates, water, and tea, setting up a breakfast for me. I saw Tiffany in the garden, planting what could be more poison.
I watched silently, trying to nibble on some of the fruit they left me. I started with the apples and bit a small bite off of them. Little by little, I got food into my stomach. I didn’t know why watching Tiffany was so soothing.
But she was like psycho ASMR.
I sipped on the tea, and realized it was ginger with honey. I wasn’t the biggest fan of ginger, but still I sipped on it, hoping to settle my stomach. Life floated past me as I followed my basic human instinct.
I wanted to do more, but I couldn’t.
My mind had broken me and I needed time to stop for a slight moment. I needed to exist without something else sweeping me off my feet. I wanted Benedikt, but was too afraid to ask for him.
Alone, I trembled in the blanket Benedikt had sprawled over my lap, and allowed a silent tear to fall from my eyes.
I wished I could change things, but I couldn’t. And that was a sad fact.