Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Zander
I ’ve thought a lot about this…about having a baby with a woman I barely know. She says she doesn’t want anything from me except consistency for the baby. That’s fair and it’s not too much to ask. I’ve also gone through all the ways I could mess up being a dad. And there’s plenty.
But I have to say, the more I think it over, the more I agree with my dad. A baby may not have been in my plans, but I’m going to do right by him…or her. I’m going to be in my child’s life. Now I need to tell Scarlett that we will, in fact, be doing this together.
I called her this morning and asked her to meet me at the bar before we open. I’m anxiously wiping down the bar even though it’s spotless from last night’s closing. I hear a knock at the front door and glance up to see Scarlett on the other side. It’s unlocked but I walk over and open it to let her in anyway.
As soon as she comes through the door, I blurt out, “I’m in.”
Her gaze pings from me to the door and back again. “I can see that,” she says coolly.
I huff out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, sorry. I’m a little anxious this morning.”
“I can see that too. Do you still want to talk?” she asks.
“I do. Um, how have you been feeling?”
She covers her still-flat abdomen with her hand. “Um, okay. Still some queasiness, but I’ve been able to keep some stuff down. Staying hydrated for sure. I’m not ready for any more trips to the ER.”
“No, I hope you don’t have to do that again. Are you hungry? I can whip up some bacon and eggs if you want. We keep that stuff for burgers. And I’ve got orange juice we use for cocktails,” I tell her.
“I’m okay. I try not to overload my stomach this early, and I already had some oatmeal, but thank you for offering.”
She sets her purse on a barstool and then hops up on one herself. She stares at me cautiously and I stare back in silence. I can’t help but admire how beautiful she is, and I’m thinking if we have a daughter, I hope she looks just like her.
Scarlett breaks the silence. “Um actually, do you have any ginger ale?”
“Sure.”
I round the counter and grab a ginger ale from the kitchen. I set it in front of her and she takes a sip. “Thanks.”
I’m standing on the opposite side of the counter and she’s sitting there with her hands clasped in front of her. I reach out and touch her hands with mine and feel a tingle. She must too because she glances from our hands to my eyes.
“What I was trying to say when you walked in is I’m all in with the baby.”
“You were definitely in when this baby was made,” she giggles before she blushes. “Sorry. I tend to ramble and say weird things when I’m nervous.”
I laugh for the first time since learning about the baby. “I can tell.”
She smiles again, albeit a bit hesitantly this time. “Are you sure?” she asks.
“I’m sure. We’re in this together. But I want you to know, I may not be any good at this. Being a dad, I mean.”
She smiles sweetly. “I’m pretty sure most parents feel that way at some point, but I think you have to go with it. Kind of like the saying ‘fake it till you make it’ or something. Look at it this way, we’re both successful in our jobs.”
She glances around the bar. “You seem to have a thriving business here. And your photography…it’s beautiful.”
“I’m impressed with your job. It suits you,” I tell her to get the focus off me.
“Thanks, I uh, I work with my parents mostly. They’re in real estate and I design houses for their company,” she says.
“Speaking of your parents, what do they have to say about the baby?”
She pulls back and laughs. “Oh no, no, no. You see, they don’t know yet. I needed to figure out where things were with you first.”
“Well, my dad knows. I hope that’s okay. He won’t tell anyone until we’re ready for people to know,” I tell her. Dad is a vault…always has been.
She begins to chew her lower lip again the way she did when she first told me about the baby. “My parents…I don’t want to disappoint them.”
“Won’t they be happy to be grandparents?”
“Sure they will. But me getting pregnant and having a baby out of wedlock…not so happy about that part. I mean, they’ll be supportive and happy for me, for us. It’s just…my mom is basically a saint. My dad is like…my hero,” she says.
“Do you want me to come with you to tell them?” It’s not my favorite idea in the world, but if I’m going to support her and the baby, I may as well start now when she can use it.
“No,” she answers quickly. “Yes?” she says more like a question. “I don’t know. Maybe, if you’d be willing to.”
“Of course. Let me know if you decide you want me there and I’ll come.”
She nods just as I notice a tear slip down her cheek and I catch it with my thumb. “Hey, no need to cry.”
“Sorry. These hormones quadruple my regular emotions,” she tells me.
“No need to apologize either. I can only imagine.”
She stands from the stool she was perched on and slings her purse over her left shoulder. “I’ll uh, get out of your hair. I’m sure you need to start getting things ready to open.”
I don’t really have anything to do, but I don’t tell her that. This is new territory for us both. We need to get to know each other but we also need to move past the acceptance part of what our lives are about to be first.
I feel like this morning’s talk did that. Sort of. We know we’re going to be parents together…to the same child. Man, this is a lot to absorb.
She lets out a shaky breath and swipes a few more tears. Damn it, I can’t stand to see her cry. I move back around the counter and closer to her, feeling compelled to pull her into my arms, but I hesitate. At least, until she speaks again.
“Thank you,” she says.
“For what?”
“For saving me that night and for saving me now.”
“How am I saving you now?” I can’t help but ask.
“I was scared I’d be in this alone, and no matter how brave I acted, I didn’t want to be. I would’ve done it, because even though I just found out I’m pregnant, I already know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this baby. But as I drove over here this morning, I realized just how desperately I was hoping you’d say you wanted to be a part of our child’s life.”
I can’t help but pull her close now. She stiffens at first, but after a few seconds she relaxes into my arms. “You really are a glimpse of sunshine, aren’t you?”
She pulls back. “What?”
“Nothing.”
The kitchen doors fly open, and Gabby emerges. She must’ve come through the back. I didn’t hear anyone come in. “Hey, Zander,” she says before she sees Scarlett in my arms. Her smile falls but not completely.
“I’d better go,” Scarlett says.
“Okay. Um, can I call you later?” I ask.
“Sure. I’m staying at Barnette’s Bed-and-Breakfast if you want to stop by,” she says.
“I’ll call you,” I tell her.
She makes it to the door but turns one more time before leaving and says, “You have more sunshine and less grump in you than I thought.”