Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Scarlett
I t’s been two weeks exactly since I saw Zander. We’ve sent texts back and forth, and occasionally spoken for a few minutes. They’ve all been short and sweet. Simply checking in with each other. But I find myself nervous to see him now.
Over the past couple weeks, nausea and morning sickness has come in waves. Some days I’m okay, others…not so much. As sweet and helpful as he was when he saw me get sick, I prefer not to do that again in his presence.
I made sure to eat oatmeal this morning because it seems to help me. I’ve also started eating small snack-size portions throughout the day and it keeps the sickness away too. It seems that if I don’t get hungry, I don’t feel nauseated.
I packed a bag with enough clothes and toiletries for a week. I don’t know that I’ll stay that long, but I wanted to be sure I had enough in case I do.
I pull into a parking spot at the hospital and call Zander. Our appointment with Dr. Ray is at two o’clock, and her office is in the actual hospital. I’m here about twenty minutes early so I can fill out paperwork and give them my insurance information.
“Hello? Am I late?” he asks as if he’s out of breath.
“No. You’re fine. I’m here a little early for paperwork and all the things they need before the appointment. I was just letting you know I’d be in the office when you get here,” I tell him.
“Oh, okay. I thought for a second I had stayed at work too long. I should be there in about ten minutes,” he says, sounding slightly relieved.
We disconnect the call as I exit my car, and I sling my purse over my shoulder before heading into the hospital. True to his word, ten minutes later, Zander appears in Dr. Ray’s waiting room wearing a gray T-shirt with jeans that mold to his muscular thighs. He looks good, too good if I’m being honest with myself. I feel butterflies or something when his dark stare finds mine.
He’s about to sit beside me when the nurse calls my name. He waits for me to lead the way and I fall in line behind the nurse. She checks my weight and asks me to pee in a cup. Once those tasks are done, she leads us to a dark room where an ultrasound tech is waiting. She smiles kindly and tells me to undress from the waist down while handing me a paper drape.
Zander’s eyes widen a fraction as the tech closes the privacy curtain before exiting to allow me to undress. “I can step out or turn. I can just turn,” he stammers and points to the wall behind him.
I laugh. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”
“Meaning?” he asks with a raised brow.
I can’t wipe the smile off my face at how uncomfortable this is making him. “Well, you’ve kind of seen all of me before, which is the exact reason we’re here,” I say, gesturing around the room with my arm. “But also, you wanted to be with me for this appointment, remember? You’ll see a lot more of me if you plan to see this pregnancy through with me, especially in the delivery room,” I tell him.
His eyes widen a tiny fraction, and he grunts something I can’t hear before turning to face the wall. I proceed to undress from my waist down, being sure to tuck my underwear inside my folded jeans, because all women hide their underwear at these appointments, don’t they? I’m not sure why, but it’s a thing. It’s not like they have underwear police or something. I place them on the chair behind me.
Once my paper drape is covering my bare lap, I tell Zander he can sit in the chair beside this table or chair or whatever it is that I’m on. It has stirrups, so I’m not sure what it’d be considered as. He discreetly peeps around and finds me in position for this exam.
He sits beside me. “Are you good?”
“I’m dandy, thanks. I’m bare bottoming a paper sheet on a chair—we’re calling this a chair I think—with stirrups on it while waiting for who knows what to go you know where,” I say in a sarcastically chipper tone. I’m excited to find out about my baby, but someone poking around my vagina…not so much.
Bless him, I can see him blanch in this dimly lit room and I silently chastise myself for my awkwardness around this man. I’m not sure how to stop it.
“Sorry. I told you I’m awkward when I’m nervous.”
“I get it…I think. I mean, I’m trying to. I know men don’t have to go through half the things women do. I guess I’m just nervous too,” he admits out loud.
“It’s fine. I think if we communicate, this parenting thing will work out,” I tell him. His chair is close to where I’m at and we’re lost in each other’s gaze for a heartbeat, but we both whip our attention to the door when the tech knocks and asks if we’re ready.
Bless her soul, she explains we’re doing a transvaginal ultrasound since we’re about eight weeks along. I see Zander tense up when she pulls it out and rolls what looks to be a condom on the wand as a barrier. It’s dark, so I’m not sure if it is or not. Then she covers it in lubricant. I can only imagine the thoughts running through Zander’s head right now and I wonder if he regrets his decision to tag along for this appointment.
It takes a few seconds, but she finally shows us a little thing that looks like a butter bean. Upon closer observation, she points out tiny arms and legs. She shows us the anatomy present right now and finally she asks if we’d like to hear the heartbeat.
I glance at Zander, and he nods once as he swallows hard. I tell her we’d love to. She turns back to the screen and clicks a few buttons and then the most wonder-filled sound can be heard in this small, dim room. A tiny little heartbeat for our tiny little butter bean.
I feel Zander’s fingers brush mine, and I curl my fingers around his.
The tech prints out a few pictures and hands them to Zander. She explains she’ll step out again so I can get dressed, and then she’ll take us to another room to meet Dr. Ray. She tells me there are baby wipes on the counter and the bathroom is to the right if I want to clean up from the lubricant. Before she closes the privacy curtain again, she congratulates us.
I feel several emotions in this moment, but the most intense one is love. I love this little butter bean with all I am. I sit up and glance at Zander. He seems enamored with the black-and-white images in his hand, and it makes my heart swell with a strange feeling. Maybe this will all be okay after all.
“I’m going to get dressed really quick,” I say.
“Sure.”
He barely glances at me as he swings his legs around to face the wall.
When I’m dressed, the tech leads us to another room. This one is bright and has pictures of babies and the female anatomy on the walls. Dr. Ray comes in shortly after and introduces herself. She reviews my health history and the ultrasound from today. She asks us if we have questions and we both say no for now.
She reminds me to take my prenatal vitamins, gives me a list of medicines I can take if needed, foods to eat and ones to avoid, and she gives me a prescription for a breast pump for later. There’s also a packet of information on what to expect. She smiles kindly and seems to genuinely love what she does. It makes me trust her whole-heartedly.
She changes the course of the conversation to Zander and what he should expect as my partner. He listens intently, and when she tells him to expect both increases and dips in my sex drive, I swear this grown man blushes.
I’ve heard sex drive can go crazy and bottom out too. But she’s just confirmed it. The look on his face is priceless and I’ll never forget it.
She must get all kinds of reactions to everything in her line of work. She goes further and says having sex won’t harm the baby, so there’s no need to worry about enjoying it. Although she did caution about using certain things during this time. I didn’t think his face could get redder, but I was wrong. It’s almost glowing.
After some blood work, we’re done, and we silently make our way to our separate vehicles.
“Are you okay?” I ask this time instead of him asking me.
“Me? Yeah, totally fine.”
He runs his hand through his dark hair. “We’re going to be parents.”
“I know. If it didn’t feel real before, it certainly does now,” I reply.
“Did you bring your bags?” he asks.
I nod as I shield my eyes from the sun.
“I’ll come home and help you get unloaded, then I need to head back to High Road for the dinner rush,” he says.
“Sounds good. I’m worn out today, so I’ll probably crash with my own dinner and a movie if that’s okay with you,” I tell him.
“Whatever you want. I can bring you something from the bar too if you’d like. I’ll come home as early as I can. Dad said he’d close tonight since you were coming today,” he says.
“You don’t have to change your plans for me,” I say quietly. The last thing I want is to be a burden.
He steps closer and tips my chin up so we’re staring in each other’s eyes. “You’ve changed everything, my little sunshine.” His gaze moves from my eyes to my lips and back again. Then without warning, he presses the softest kiss to my forehead before walking away.
What has this man done to me? He not only helped me trash a dress, but he also changed everything else for me too. This man with the jaded outlook on love just blasted through the walls to my heart from one forehead kiss. I’m in big, big trouble.