Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Scarlett
“ H e’s coming,” Anna says.
I sit a little taller and pull my robe closer together, the same one that I’ve been lounging in since I came back to my apartment. “I don’t want to see him, Anna. I can’t. Which is why I sent you to get my stuff.”
She sighs. “I know why I was there. And as much as I wanted to tell him no, there was something in his voice and his eyes that got to me.”
“His eyes are mesmerizing, I know. But you said she was there. What more proof do you need that he’s been lying to me?” I almost shout.
“I said I saw someone, and yes, I assume it was this Vivian person you described. But he was putting her in her place. The interaction was frosty and firm on his part from what I overheard,” she says.
“But that doesn’t mean he hadn’t just banged her one more time to get her out of his system. The woman was there to seduce him,” I snap.
Anna tucks the hair falling in my face behind my ear. “I think until you talk, and I mean both of you, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”
“I can’t see him. I won’t open the door for him,” I say again.
“I can’t make you, but I strongly suggest you talk to him. Your son deserves both of his parents. You know I’m right. Especially since your own parents haven’t come around yet,” she says quietly.
She’s not wrong. I want to give my son everything. I want him to be surrounded by all the people who should love him. I also know Zander and I will have to talk sometime soon. I just thought I’d have a few more days to compose myself before I faced him. I thought it’d be on my terms, not his.
“Will you stay until he comes? Scare him with your staredown? What time is he coming?”
She laughs and checks her watch. “I’ll stay till he’s here and then I’m just a phone call away if you need support. I’d say he’ll be here in an hour,” she says while tapping her watch.
“Okay. I’m going to shower and get dressed.”
“Good.” She giggles.
“What does that mean?” I ask and laugh while throwing a pillow at her.
“Take it as you will, but if I was seeing my dream man, I’d at least brush my teeth and my hair,” she says still laughing.
I guffaw. “I’ll remember this moment when you meet your dream guy. What is a dream guy anyway?” I ask before turning to walk down my hallway to the bathroom.
She taps her temple in thought. “Oh, I don’t know. The sexy, strong type. The one that’s secretly sensitive with you but tough as nails to the rest of the world. The man that will do whatever it takes to make you happy and take care of your heart.”
I pause at the last bit. “Yeah, we’ll see if he can live up to that.”
“He’s here,” I whisper, placing a hand over my pregnant belly.
“So he is,” Anna says with a wink.
She starts to open the door, but I grab her hand to stop her. “Do I look okay?”
“You look beautiful as always.”
“Am I doing the right thing by talking to him right now? Maybe we should take a little more time apart.”
She smiles and grabs my cheeks gently. “You’re amazing. You’re brave, and yes, you need to clear the air sooner than later. No time like the present.”
I nod as she releases me and turns to open the door. When she does, Zander Bailey is standing there holding the most beautiful bouquet of orange and yellow roses. His gaze locks on to mine immediately.
Anna clears her throat breaking the silence. “Don’t screw this up,” she says to him before turning to me and winking. After that, she leaves my apartment to give us some privacy, but she won’t go too far away in case I need her after this talk with my baby daddy.
My baby daddy. That sounds so funny in my head I almost laugh. But he’d think I’m crazy for sure then. He very well might be my dream man though. Once I pushed through his grumpiness, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Let’s just hope his ex-fiancée hasn’t caused more than superficial damage.
“Uh, come in,” I say awkwardly.
“These made me think of you,” he says.
“How so?” I ask.
“They remind me of the sun. And you’re the only sunshine in my life,” he admits.
I take them from him and our fingers brush sending a tingle up my arm. I quickly turn away not wanting to surrender to him yet, even though I find myself craving his touch.
“Thank you. They’re beautiful,” I say without facing him.
I feel him move close to me and butterflies flutter in my stomach. He could be about to rip my heart to shreds, yet my body still reacts to him as if no danger is present.
When I don’t move away, he must take that as a sign because I feel his arms pull me close to him gently. As much as I want to melt into him, I can’t.
I pull away and put some distance between us as he drops his arms and shoves his hands in his pockets.
“I’m sorry, Scarlett. I should’ve told you she stopped by the bar. I never dreamed she’d show up at the house. I know that’s on me. My only defense is seeing her was meaningless to me, but I didn’t want her suddenly showing up to cause you to stress out or worry. I processed the situation by writing it off. I wanted to pretend she had stayed gone. It felt easier than saying she suddenly wanted to talk after all this time.”
“But you not telling me about it was still a lie to me…lying by omission. If we’re a couple, we can’t hide things from one another. And then to find her in your bed…” I trail off and close my eyes. “Is there a part of you who wishes it was her?”
“No. I don’t want her. I may have been crushed by her actions, but I stopped loving her or wanting to even look at her the moment she chose my best friend. That’s the cold, hard truth. I’ve been reeling for so long because of the act itself, not because I’ve been pining for her . I didn’t know how to let someone in again until I met you,” he says.
“Do you need to find out what she wanted to talk to you about? I don’t want you wondering what might have been or having doubts while I’m the one lying beside you at night.”
He moves closer to me, as if making sure I’m paying attention. “She came back earlier today and claimed she wants another chance. She says she messed up, but that’s her consequence to live with…not mine. Besides, I think you were meant to be mine all along,” he says with hopeful, clear eyes.
I want to believe him…trust his words. But I’m scared to…for me and our son.
“I don’t just want the parts of you that you’re willing to show me. I want all of you. But I won’t make you give me something you can’t,” I tell him as my chin quivers. “I’ll ask you one last time. Do you want us? Not just you-and-me us …me-and-the-baby us .”
He moves even closer than before and cups my face in his hands. “I want it all with you, sunshine. This baby…more babies…me and you.” He kisses my nose, then my cheek, then my forehead.
He pulls back to stare into my eyes. “Now the question is, will you forgive me and come back home? Do you really want me for me, or do you want me because of the baby?”
“I want you, Zander. But with the baby coming, it feels like we’ve been rushing ‘us.’ Maybe we’re putting too much pressure on it. I want to forgive you, and I will…I mean, I do. But I’m not sure I’m ready to come back yet. Maybe we need a little time for some perspective. I don’t want to feel like my entire world is crashing around me again. I can’t.”
He steps back and closes his eyes. When they open, they’re closed off.
“So, you weren’t ready for us to confess that we were falling in love?” he asks, but it sounds more like a statement.
“Maybe neither of us were. But it doesn’t make the way we feel about each other any less true,” I rush out.
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Scarlett.”
It’s my turn to take his face in my hands. “I’m saying I meant it when I said I’m in love with you. But I’m scared to rush this thing between us just because the baby is coming. I want to make sure we get this right for the baby…but for us too. I don’t want you with me because you feel like you have to be. This hiccup brought that need to the surface.”
“And you don’t want to come home with me because, what? Now you don’t trust me?” he asks.
“I need to process, and I need to be able to trust myself. If I come home with you right now, I can’t do that. But I want to come back if you can just give me a little time…a few days,” I say, hoping he understands. Hoping his declaration of love was as true as I know mine was.
He doesn’t say anything, so I do the only thing that feels right. I pull his face toward mine and kiss his lips. He’s almost stiff at first, but he finally melts into the kiss. The connection and love I feel for this man is so deep it’s terrifying.
This whole thing with his ex-fiancée popping up showed me how much control he has over me and how quickly he could destroy me. It’s the very reason I’m pulling back to gain perspective whether my heart wants me to or not.
He breaks the kiss first. “I’ll give you some time. But I think once you know…you know.”
“And you think you know, huh?” I ask, almost teasing to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, I do.” He kisses me again and starts to let me go, but I pull him back in for another kiss.
“Will you stay here with me tonight?” I probably shouldn’t ask him to, because that’s confusing for me to want space but want him to stay too. But I can’t let him walk away tonight like this.
“Are you sure that’s what you want since you want some space?” he asks with a lift of his brow.
“I’ll think more clearly if I’m not sexually frustrated,” I admit with a smile on my face.
He chuckles at that. “I promised I’d take care of you, and I’m the only one who can, so lead the way.”
I grab his hand and tug him to my bedroom. “I’m counting on it. You’re the reason I’m so needy. It’s only fair.”
Once we’re in my bedroom, I nudge him to the edge of my bed and help him out of his clothes. His heated gaze is full of desire as he watches me stand from pulling his pants and boxers down.
He usually takes more of a lead when we’re intimate, but I feel his hesitancy radiating off him. His body is ready for me, but he almost seems like he’s playing defense. I need to make him see that I may be asking for a few days to clear my head, but my love for him is real and not going anywhere.
I take off my clothes and push him to a sitting position on the side of my bed. He scoots far enough back that I can straddle him comfortably without feeling like we’ll fall. Once there, I wrap my legs around him. I start to move up and down and his arms slide under me to help lift me. We work together, chasing our release slowly. Both of us simply staring in each other’s eyes as our bodies are joined.
I move my hands to either side of his face to make sure he understands what I’m about to say. “I love you, Zander. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not running from you.”
I move his hand over my breast and a groan escapes his lips but he doesn’t take his gaze off mine.
“They say home is where the heart is, and, baby, you already have my heart. Wherever you are is where I am,” I admit.
“I could never stay away from you for long,” I add.
He kisses my lips. “I’m going to hold you to that, my little sunshine,” he says.