Chapter 15 #2
“Haze mentioned the other day…you didn’t used to be like you are now.
That it’s the product of trauma, making you need to control so much of your life.
” I unwrapped my arms from around myself to lean my elbows on the countertop behind me.
“Can you tell me what happened? Your mom seems more the workaholic forgetful type of shitty parent rather than abusive, but I guess appearances can be deceiving?”
Andrew huffed a short laugh, shaking his head.
“Did you just imply that I have mommy issues, Evie? I think that could be an insult. But no, you’re right.
She’s far from the best mother, but she does love me in her own somewhat detached political kind of way.
My…uh…my issues came from something else.
” He paused, biting the edge of his lip, and I followed his lead by waiting patiently and silently while he thought through what he wanted to say.
Eventually, he raked his hand through his golden hair, messing it up in a way that made my core throb with arousal. Fuck, I was a needy bitch right now.
“This is what your father helped me with,” he said. “The reason I owed him a favor.”
My heart clenched at the knowledge that this was another piece of the puzzle that connected us, and with that in mind, I didn’t say a word to interrupt him.
Andrew grimaced, releasing a deep breath.
“When I was sixteen, I was going through a really rough patch. I was abusing my privilege in a big way. Dad cheated on Mom, and it was so public that we were constantly under scrutiny. I started dealing with my feelings in all the classic unhealthy ways. Drinking heavily, taking drugs, partying…you name it, I did it. Safe to say now with the luxury of time and distance, I was a piece of shit back then. One night…” He trailed off, his head hanging low as he recalled the events that’d triggered his control compulsions.
“One night I was driving under the influence and crashed. I got out with barely a scratch, but my passenger”—he cleared his throat hard, swallowing—“my girlfriend at the time, she didn’t make it. ”
I sucked a quick inhale in surprise, my eyes widening. “She died?”
Andrew nodded, his gaze still lowered to the floor. “Yes. I lost control, and Daisy paid the price.”
“Oh,” I whispered with an uncomfortable level of understanding. “I see.”
He raised his face to meet my gaze, and the pain in the depths of his eyes broke my damn heart. “You must think I’m a monster,” he murmured with deep self-loathing etched across his face. “I’m a murderer.”
I shook my head, alarm flaring through my chest. “Absolutely not. Andrew, you made a mistake and you were a child. You fucked up, but you’re not a murderer.”
He nodded, but his sigh indicated he didn’t believe me.
“That’s what my therapist says, even though she doesn’t know the whole story.
She also said my loved ones won’t die again if I’m not controlling everything around me, and I’m starting to accept that fact.
You are forcing me to accept that fact, Evie.
You’re like a tsunami, sweeping through our lives and destroying everything we thought we knew…
in the best possible way.” His voice cracked, and a tear slipped from the corner of my eye before I could catch it.
“I’m sorry,” I said in a small voice. “I don’t like that I’m destroying things for you.”
A genuine smile touched his lips and his expression softened. “I do. I keep thinking about how good it felt when you made me crawl across the dirty floor…and how badly I wished I could have ended up with my face buried in your sweet cunt.”
Oh. My jaw dropped at the whiplash speed change of mood. Not that I was mad about it…and if that was the kind of thing helping Andrew release a small amount of the oppressive guilt he’d been carrying around with him, then who was I to deny him?
“What’s stopping you, then?” I asked in a husky voice, my thighs already clenching with anticipation. I was painfully aware of the fact that I had nothing underneath Brodie’s T-shirt, not even a pair of panties.
Andrew inhaled deeply, then slowly lowered his knees to the kitchen floor…then his hands…My pulse raced, and my palms started to sweat as he started making his way across the floor to me. When he reached my bare feet, I was so turned on I could hardly breathe.
“Evie,” he murmured, looking up at me for a long moment before bending down and kissing my feet. Fuck. That’s what I’d told him to do in that stupid moment of anger, wasn’t it? To literally kiss my feet as he apologized?
“Andrew, I swear to fuck if you don’t put your mouth on my cunt in the next three seconds, I’ll—”
He didn’t need three seconds. My words cut off with a startled yelp as he lifted me in the air, somehow hooking my legs over his shoulders and pinning me to the counter as he ate me out with the devotion of a man finding nirvana for the first time.
It didn’t take long to make me come—I was more than pre-gamed thanks to Ethan and Brodie—and Andrew wasted no time scooping my jelly-like body up in his arms and carrying me back to his bed.
Something told me that tonight he’d be doing more than just burying his face in my hair and cuddling.
Much more.