9. Love and Death? No
Chapter nine
Love and Death? No
Ione
"That's an odd question to ask me considering the situation at hand." I say, raising an eyebrow at Athy. "To answer your question and not assume you're an incestuous bastard, yes."
He sighs heavily, snatching my hand to lead me from the forest. "She is my twin, not my lover, you mistake me for one of you rabbits. Your males would procreate with the wind if it hardened their cocks." He spits.
"Ok, just making sure, but I can't argue with you there.
" My mind is still reeling from the fact that I was talking to a werewolf.
An honest to goodness, real-life werewolf.
Pinch me. She was very sweet too, and answered what questions I could ask her.
Yes, her change is affected by the moon, no she doesn't feast on human flesh, yes they are highly allergic to silver, and no vampires are not their mortal enemies. I have to know more.
"Do you hear me rabbit?" Athanasius pulls me close, intertwining his fingers in mine. "What are you thinking about in that small brain of yours that's so interesting that you ignore when I'm speaking?"
I hate him. Truly. "Delilah. She's so interesting."
He rolls his eyes and continues to lead as we exit the forest. "You will have plenty of time to talk to her in five days."
"Wait, what?" He lets go of me as we approach the car. "Five days?"
"My siblings will come to our home. We will discuss how to free ourselves by killing the last mage." He pulls on the door handle. "Make this open."
"No, no," I'm not sure I heard him correctly. First, he said our house, second he said in five days. He continues to pull the door handle. "Stop you'll break it."
"Then open it." He snarls.
"Answer me."
"Open." He tugs the handle. "The." Once again. "Door." He pulls it twice.
If I give into him, he'll think he can do whatever he wants. If I hold out, he might really break the door handle off and there where will we be?
My sister didn't raise a bitch.
"Let go of the damn handle or I'm going to slap you so hard you'll taste the salt on my palm." He narrows his eyes, but what does he do? He takes his hand off my damn door. "Good, so you can listen, now—"
What I didn't expect was for him to cross the area between us, pick me up by my shoulders, stand me in front of my car and invade my space. His chest is very close to mine, Athanasius is leaning into my face, and just as I try to lean back, his hands shoot up around my neck.
"You try my patience on a level that would make even the greatest stoic snap.
" His thumbs rub against my cheeks. "Every time I say something, you have a rebuttal.
When I want to speak, you always have to have an answer.
" His nose bumps mine, as he opens his mouth, his pointy fangs are showing.
"What if all I want is a 'yes, master,' 'of course, Athanasius,' 'on your word, my lord. '"
He's not squeezing hard enough to hurt me, I think he wants to scare me but I'm a kinky bitch. He's staring into my eyes, his lips are wet, mouth slightly agape and I can see his tongue moving about in his mouth. There's a piece inside of me screaming to say something completely diabolical.
As a child, I was never good at stopping my intrusive thoughts. I've learned to tone them down as an adult, but you know—call of the void.
So as Athanasius growls softly, I press my body back into him and flick my tongue. "Give me your worst, Daddy, make me scream."
"Crazy woman," He backs away quickly, but the evidence is plain between his legs. He's hard, and he's blushing. "Wanton creature, don't try to tempt me."
"Is the Harbinger of the Final Silence blushing?" I tease him. "Look at how red the tips of your ears are."
He's clenching his jaw, turning his face from me. "I am the Primordial of death and darkness. Shadows are my own, and the last breath on every creatures lips belongs to me, do not insult me."
"Then why are your cheeks red?"
"It's chilly out here!" He ignores me marching to the passenger door. "Back home, now."
"I have groceries to get, so we're doing that first, then we can go home." Unlocking the car door sends him flying into the passenger seat, and he makes no move to hide that he's pushing his dick next to his thigh.
As I enter the car, Athanasius already has his seatbelt on, he's staring out the window. "Before you rudely sidetracked me, I asked if you had ever been in love because I have a question."
Chuckling, I start the engine and make a U-turn to head back towards the highway. "And it was?"
"Do you think love changes a person?"
Great question. How do I answer this? It's been two years since I was in serious relationship, and I think about him all the time. Well…I catch myself in moments of limerence when something reminds me of what was. It happens less, but let me smell something, let me hear a song—I'm gone.
"Do I think love changes a person?" I repeat slowly as we rejoin the highway and the cars roll past us.
"Of course, it does. The same way death does.
Even a kiss of death, a taste of it alters a person.
" My hands grip the wheel tightly before I remind myself to relax them. "Love, like death, doesn’t care who you were before. It doesn’t care what plans you had or how much control you thought you held over your own life.
It takes you, drags you under, leaves you gasping in the dark with only your regrets for company. Sound familiar?"
He shakes his head. Of course.
"But here’s the thing—when love is gone," I should probably shut up now, but here we go. "When the echoes of it have settled like dust in an empty room, you learn. You learn what you can survive. You learn what you’ll never tolerate again. You learn what parts of yourself were real and what parts were just reflections in someone else’s eyes. "
My mind runs to Chris. His smile, the way he kissed me, how I felt. Too little, too late.
"I’d say love and death are cousins, but you wouldn’t know, would you?" I can see Athy in my peripherals, he's staring straight ahead, unmoving. "Love never sent you an invitation. Never took your hand and led you stumbling into the kind of ruin that doesn’t leave bones, only aching."
His voice is quiet. "No, in this I am ignorant."
"Tell me, then—have you ever been in love?
" Now I'm curious. "Have you ever wanted someone so much that losing it felt like an extinction event? Or is that why you’re here, caught between the shadows? Do you think this—your entrapment, your isolation—is punishment for loving something you shouldn’t have? "
We arrive at the grocery store, and Athanasius sighs heavily before looking at me.
"You know more than you let on, I like that.
" His hand is on the door, knuckles clenched.
"I have never harbored affection for anyone but my siblings.
Not even my avatars before you, but my sisters sees something in me.
" He leans his head back, returning to the human form with 2 less eyes and arms. "If my punishment is something this petty, I will still kill the mage, because who is he, and who were they to make me feel weak by expressing emotions I haven't understood for millennia unnumbered. "