Chapter Forty-Seven
Lilac
This lunatic thinks he has all the power here. He kept up with his silent treatment, but the more he ignored me, the more it pissed me off. If he wants to act like a child, let the games begin. We’re going to see who has the upper hand.
I do what the fuck I want, and if he doesn’t like it, then fuck him.
We’re at the mansion he used to share with Jameson, Keanu, and Snow. I watch him from across the living room, and our eyes connect. He sips his drink from a red cup as “Mercy” by Kanye West blasts through the speakers.
I move my hips to the side.
I told him I was going to Jameson’s party, and he didn’t stop me, but he made sure to follow me. See? I’ve got the upper hand. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have followed me here.
I keep bumping my hips with Lyrical and Raven. Raven passes me her shot, and I down it. The room spins, and I catch myself before falling.
A woman walks up to Irvin and hands him a drink. She slides her fingers through his hair. I see red, but I hold my composure. Irvin is trying to get a rise out of me. It’s part of his manipulative games. She says something to him, but he keeps his eyes glued to me.
I roll my eyes, stride to the punch bowl, passing him without acknowledging him, but I feel his gaze following every step I take.
Fuck it, I’m horny. I need dick, and I need to fuck my husband.
I down the punch. The alcohol burns my throat.
I stand in front of Irvin and reach up to wrap my arms around his shoulders, but he keeps looking ahead. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss the corner of his mouth.
“Kiss me, you stubborn lunatic.”
He smirks but stays put, eyes locked on mine.
He doesn’t say anything for several moments.
“You’re a very disobedient woman.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh. He speaks.”
He thinks he holds all the power, but I do. He needs me, but I don’t need him. He needed me to trap me in this marriage. He’s the one who can’t live without me—not the other way around.
“Do you realize that I’m an adult and I can go anywhere I please?”
No response.
He pushes me away.
I’ve had enough of his shit.
I start toward Raven and Lyrical, then he pushes himself off the wall and heads toward the front door. I follow right behind him, on his heels.
Outside, the weather is cool, and the sun is setting, the sky bleeding a tangerine color.
He still doesn’t acknowledge me, but I keep walking. I just want sex from him, and he’s not giving it to me. It’s pissing me off. He can control me when he wants sex, but when I want it, he ignores me.
My chest tightens. I inhale deeply.
He hops on his bike, hands me a helmet, and I take it and climb on.
Anxiety rides through my veins as we coast through North Haven. The air is thick and foggy. I feel every vibration of the bike between my legs. I slide my hands under his shirt, rubbing his hard muscles. I’m so fucking horny I can’t even think straight.
He doesn’t stop me. Instead, he squeezes my hand tight, briefly, then lets go.
Once we’re inside the mansion, we stare at each other for a moment. I fight my urges, rocking back and forth on the soles of my shoes.
Why do I feel like an addict when it comes to Irvin? Why am I drawn to him in a way I can’t describe? I’ve never been this way about a man—not even Emerson.
Irvin strokes the bottom of my chin but remains silent. He thinks he can control me. He thinks I’m falling for him. He thinks I love him. Is this why he’s doing this? Trying to prove that I love him? I wouldn’t put it past him.
I step back, putting distance between us.
“I’m not falling in love with you, Irvin.”
A dark smirk curls across his face as he steps forward. “Is that so? What would make you say that?”
My palms sweat, and my cheeks heat. “This is why you’re doing it. To prove a point. I keep disobeying you, and you keep ignoring me.” I pause. “I’m not falling in love with you.”
“You’re not, Lilac?” He smiles. “You’re upset that I’m ignoring you. If you didn’t care about me, you wouldn’t care if I’m ignoring you.”
“It’s common decency to not ignore people. It’s rude.” I roll my eyes, but a lump forms in my chest nonetheless. “You’re an arrogant fuck.”
“Really? You were just trying to fuck me.”
I shrug. “It’s only sex between us. I might admit I have feelings for you, but I’m not falling for you.”
This time, I don’t know how true my words are. I mean… I don’t think I am.
I smile viciously. “If we weren’t married and you didn’t have this ridiculous rule of not fucking other people,” my chest aches, “I would fuck someone else. Probably the hot football player in my statistics class.”
I hope my words get a rise out of him, but they don’t. If so, he’s not showing it.
Lunatic.
He grips my neck in the way I like. “You and I both know there’s more than sex between us. We both know the real truth.” He sighs. “I let you think you’re in control, my princess.”
Irvin lets go and heads upstairs, and I grab his arm.
“C-can you…”
I slide my fingers into his, and he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it.
He smirks. “Can I what, princess?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, ashamed of what I want to ask. “We haven’t had sex since you got back from your trial.”
“So?”
“Can you at least give me head?”
He leans down and kisses my forehead. “No.”
“Please.”
Another kiss. “No.”
“I’ll just force you. Like you forced me to,” I snap.
“You like it when I force you.”
I nod. “That’s beside the point, Irvin. You would like it if I forced you too.”
He laughs, then strokes my cheek. “Would I? Oh yeah? How would you?”
I shrug and grab his hard dick through his pants. “I don’t know. But I’ll figure it out.”
He groans but peels my hand away. “Go sleep off the liquor, princess.”
“Then will you give me head?”
He shakes his head. “You said you’re not falling for me. So I don’t need to give you head, now do I?”
“Fuck you, Irvin.” When I make it to the top of the stairs, I yell again, “Fuck you!”