Epilogue
Lilac
Last Day of Spring Break
Irvin pulls out of me, then lies next to me.
I rest my head on his shoulder. Every day I choose to stay active in our marriage, I realize more and more that I made this choice.
That I choose to be his. That I choose for him to be obsessed with me.
That I choose to let him control my life.
I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I get to be just as obsessed with him too, even though it’s extremely unhealthy.
We both know our love is fractured and obsessive.
We accept each other for who we are. I know Irvin will never change, and I’m okay with it. I really am.
He rolls me over and bites my ass cheek.
I moan. “Irvin. That hurts.”
“Just biting what’s mine,” he says.
He pins my hands above my head, kisses the sides of my cheeks, then pulls my legs apart and slides inside me, fucking me harder. Sex between us is imbalanced. He knows he can fuck me without my consent—because, well… I enjoy it.
Once he comes inside me, we get out of bed, shower, and I change into a light sweater, denim jeans, and ankle boots.
Irvin opts for a cotton shirt and sweatpants. He smiles and grabs my hand.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you are, my love?”
“Every single day.” I smile. “Did you check our midterm grades?”
He nods. “I got two B’s and you got three A’s and one B.”
I cock my eyebrow. “What did I get the B in?”
“Consumer psychology,” he answers. “We’ll go out and celebrate tonight, after we see Winter one last time. I have a surprise for you.”
I arch a brow. “What kind of surprise? The last time you surprised me, we had dinner at the cemetery with your mother.”
My heart warms. He slides his fingers into mine. So far, our life has been peaceful, but sometimes it’s filled with dread because Winter’s mother somehow gained authority over her life and will pull the plug tomorrow. Then they will have her funeral.
There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t blame myself.
I cry myself to sleep sometimes because of what Emerson did to her.
No matter how many times I tell myself it wasn’t my fault, the guilt and sorrow don’t go away.
I wish she could have known the real me.
I wish she’d wake up so I can tell her how sorry I am.
I wish I could see her smile and her kind eyes. I wish I could hear her soft voice.
I told Raven and Lyrical what really happened to me. Lyrical cried, and Raven said she understood why I hid my secret identity. Both hugged me tight, loved me even more.
The story about what happened on campus got out, and my name surfaced. News reporters swarmed the campus, trying to get an interview. Thankfully, Irvin is part of the American Billionaire Club, so the story died down within twenty-four hours.
The doorbell rings, and Irvin grabs my hand and walks me to the foyer. I stand next to a bouquet of pastel purple flowers on a wooden table.
“Close your eyes, my Lilac.”
I do as he says.
I hear footsteps—hushed. A faint, familiar smell of perfume.
“Open them, baby.”
I open them. My eyes water. Her dark skin, bright doe eyes, red box braids. Ally.
My hands fidget, and I shift on my feet.
“It’s been ag—”
“I know,” she answers.
My shoulders relax, and my gaze softens.
“I read your message on IG. I thought about you a lot over the years.” My voice breaks. She stares at me in shock. I stare back at her. Tears well in her eyes. She looks at the marble floors, then back at me.
“Me too. I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry for abandoning you, Pai—”
“I’m Lilac now,” I correct.
“Sorry. Lilac. I’m sorry for listening to my parents.”
I don’t know what to say. Awkwardness settles between us.
We stare at each other longer. She steps closer. Closer to me. At first, I don’t know what to do, so I stand there for several seconds, then hug her. I feel her warm body against mine. The scent of her daisy perfume. The coconut oil on her skin. She really is here.
Tears slide down my face faster. She hugs me back. I accept her warm embrace. I don’t care what has happened between us. I will always love Ally.
I smile through my tears. Step back. My fingers intertwine with hers.
“We can catch up. You can stay with us until you head back to Yale.” I gauge her reaction.
She nods. “I’m moving out here. I talked to my folks. I’m transferring to North Haven University next semester. I want to be close to my spiritual sister.”
Someone clears their throat. I glance up. Ambrose stands next to Irvin, waving at me. I wave back.
Irvin studies Ambrose. He doesn’t like men having my attention.
I hug him. “Ambrose.”
“Hey, babe.”
Irvin shoots him a glare. “It’s Lilac to you.”
He shakes his head. “Is he always this unhinged?”
I shrug. “Yeah, but I like it.”
“I’m sorry I dismissed you when you called. I heard what happened. I’m sorry for what Emerson did to you.”
“It’s water under the bridge now,” I confirm. “How long are you going to be staying?”
“Just for a week, then I’m going back to Buckhead. It was good seeing you. We can hang out like we did in high school. You can show me around. I heard there are a lot of hot women here at North Haven University.”
I shake my head. Ambrose hasn’t changed. Still chasing ass.
I turn toward Irvin, then wrap my arms around him. “Thank you. I love you so much, Irvin.”
“I love you too, my love.”
They walk into the living room. Irvin sits between Ambrose and me, side-eyeing him.
“So, I’m going to stay on campus. I want to eat at the best restaurants,” Ally says. “Do they have any good soul food here?”
I shake my head. “No. It doesn’t taste as good as back at home.”
“Bummer.”
I nod.
“My parents told me to tell you that they are sorry for making me stop being friends with you. They want to fly out here to see you, especially my mother. She always loved you like you were her own.”
“Okay. Maybe your mother can bring me her sweet potato pie.”
“I’ll ask her.”
“I’m going restaurant hopping with you two. Especially if you’re there,” Irvin snaps at Ambrose.
I sit in Irvin’s lap and kiss him on the forehead, leaning my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I used to get uneasy when he acted possessive, but now I fully embrace it.
His phone rings, and he frowns. “I have to take this in the other room.”
The mansion is quiet.
Our love story didn’t end like every couple who lived here before us. I’m grateful. Love can survive here.
“You really do love him?” Ambrose asks.
I nod. “I do.”
“Good. Because he seems cold. Distant. Mean as hell.”
I shrug. “He is.”
Ally nods. “Yes, he is. He doesn’t speak much either.”
“My husband is a loner. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I’m glad he makes you happy. Happiness looks good on you.” Ally beams. “Love as well.”
I love our unconventional love. It’s not perfect. It’s not normal. And I’m okay with it. If the world doesn’t accept it, they can fuck themselves on a pike.
The darkness in me never goes away, though.
I could kill people like I killed Emerson, but I’d never cross that line.
I also realize, over time, that I’m more like Irvin than I thought.
Except I don’t act on my impulses. Irvin has been more open about his killings with me, telling me about the assignments the board members give him.
He’s been at the club training for his position as COO.
His father is retiring soon. Speaking of which, Irvin’s dad apologized for his shitty behavior toward me.
In fact, he apologized to me. And we have dinner with him every other Friday.
He also told me if I need him for anything, to let him know. He has accepted me as family now.
Irvin steps back into the living room. “Princess, we need to go to the hospital. It’s Winter.”
My eyes widen.
Inside the hospital, I rush past the waiting room, where Jameson and Snow sit, and Irvin sits in one of the chairs. Once I make it to her room, she looks around, blinking. Her eyes are disoriented. She has a bandage wrapped around her head, and her face is slightly puffy.
Keanu rushes past me, grabbing her hands. She tries to pull away, but Keanu holds on tighter.
Winter’s mother steps closer. It’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Tension builds.
Something is off about Winter, but I can’t put my finger on what it is. She looks like herself, but she doesn’t.
The doctor walks inside the room, examining her eyes.
I hold my breath.
“What’s wrong with her?” Keanu panics.
Winter flinches.
Every instinct in me screams something is off.
“Can you tell me where you are?” the doctor asks.
“Hospital room,” she states.
“Do you remember what happened?” the doctor says, removing his stethoscope and placing it on her chest. “Why are you here?”
She shakes her head. Stares at Keanu—puzzled, lost.
Then at my face. Raven’s. Lyrical’s.
Her frown deepens. Fear twists her pupils.
She snatches her hand away from Keanu.
“Who am I?”
The End… for Now