Chapter 11 #3
Her lips lifted into a smile. “Are you going to tell me?”
“He is called Arkon,” he said. “We became friends as younglings. He was considered…odd by the others.”
“Like you.”
Jax nodded. “For different reasons, but yes. We became friends because we were different from the rest, and we defended each other from other males who sought to challenge us.”
“Why would they challenge you?”
He flicked his tentacles through the water.
“Because they thought different meant weak. Most learned their lesson, in time. I was stronger and faster than most of them, and Arkon was the cleverest of us. When he fought, he held his own, but he’d often confuse the others into backing down before it ever came to that. ”
“How would he do that?”
“He knows words the rest of us don’t understand.
And when he couldn’t talk…he has his own way of moving, and it throws many off-guard because they cannot easily predict what he will do.
As we got older, he showed little interest in such contests, and he simply stopped acknowledging challenges. Eventually, everyone left him alone.”
“What does he do now?”
Jax turned his head to look back at the sky. In some ways, the stars, with their barely perceptible patterns, reminded him of Arkon’s work, but that didn’t help him describe it to Macy.
“When he isn’t trying to draw new information out of the Computer, he makes…patterns. Designs. With rocks and anything else he can find.”
“An artist.”
A whisper of movement called his attention back to her briefly; she’d shifted onto her back and returned her gaze to the stars.
“I think my friend Aymee would like Arkon,” she said.
“She’s an artist, too, and even though people don’t need art like they do food and water, the things she creates make people smile.
She works, just like the rest of us — she’s one of the doctor’s apprentices — but she really comes alive when she’s creating. ”
Macy raised her hand with one finger extended, moving it as though she were tracing lines between the stars. Jax’s eyes followed.
“When we were young, Aymee and I would look at the stars, just like we are now, and we’d connect them to make pictures. Dogs, or sailboats, or spoons, anything we could imagine.” She let her hand fall to her stomach.
“I think Arkon would like our people to enjoy what he creates,” Jax said. “He is often unsatisfied by his creations, always looking to the next thing. But most of the kraken do not understand it enough to enjoy it…or they simply do not try. He would like your Aymee.”
“I think he would, too. I think she feels as trapped in The Watch as I did.”
“Do you feel trapped, now?” Jax’s throat tightened, and he stilled his tentacles; the question spawned fear in him because he couldn’t predict her answer with any certainty.
After a long silence, Macy shook her head. “No. Had you not agreed to take me out with you, I would, but now… I think I’m happy.” Her brow furrowed. “I miss them, and that won’t change, but I can live with it.”
Jax rolled onto his side, leaning on his elbow in an imitation of her earlier position.
From his slightly higher vantage, he was granted a full view of her; she’d put on a pair of loose pants and a long-sleeved shirt with buttons down the front, but he couldn’t forget the body that’d been teased by her dress and the diving suit.
Quiet stretched between them; Macy watched the stars, and Jax watched her, marveling at the play of starlight on her smooth skin.
Though he’d seen living humans from afar, and the holograms in the Facility up close, he hadn’t been prepared for the wonder of Macy — her look, her feel, the sensations she stirred in him.
“Do humans dream, Macy?”
Macy turned to mirror his position. “You mean while sleeping?”
“Any time.”
“Like daydreaming? Hopes? Thoughts of the future?”
“All of them,” he replied, but he hadn’t asked her the right question. “What do you dream of?”
“I…don’t know.” She glanced at the ground between them, brow drawn. “I dreamt of sailing and fishing with my father when I was younger, but after Sarina…” Her shoulders lifted and dropped. “I expected to join with Camrin, but I don’t know anymore.”
“But Camrin was never your dream. What…were your hopes? Your daydreams?”
“I had none. I’d resigned myself to the reality of my situation…to the consequences of my choices.” Her eyes met his. “Dreaming would only lead me to disappointment.”
“What about now?” He held her gaze. “You’ve made a different choice than you intended. Has your situation changed enough for you to have hope?”
“Honestly, Jax…I don’t know. In a way, I’ve resigned myself to this, too.” She turned her face toward her shelter. “I accepted this as my only choice because you wouldn’t…you wouldn’t let me go. I decided to make the best of what I got.”
He’d known throughout, had known he denied her true choice. Even now, their closeness — their developing relationship — couldn’t be taken as it seemed, because he had forced her to choose this situation. The dull thump of his hearts rose over the sounds of moving water.
“But if I would have been given a choice,” she continued, “if I had known, I would have chosen this. It’s…
weird, really, because I’m pretty much trapped in this cave, but I feel freer than ever.
That’s because of you. I know my decisions — and my silence — were my own fault, but if I’d know, I would have chosen this, Jax. ”
His nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath and slowly expelled it. “I was wrong when I said I only had one friend.”
Macy smiled and brushed the tips of her fingers over his cheek. “What about your dreams, Jax?”
Her touch was warm, gentle, soothing; he craved more of it.
“In my dreams, I swim farther than I have ever gone. Farther, maybe, than is possible. To places that must exist only in my mind. To…cities below the surface, built for kraken, cities in which my people can thrive. But they never go to those places in my dreams, just as they will not journey with me while I am awake.”
“Why don’t they go with you?”
Jax lifted his gaze and swept it across the stars. “Because most kraken fear what is unknown to them. I know we cannot forever remain in our home, and we must seek new places to den, new places to hunt…and I do not fear the unknown.”
“And no one will go with you? Not even Arkon?”
“His focus is within himself. He struggles with things I do not fully understand…though I know they are somehow important. The others are too set in their ways. They were taught that straying too far meant death, and that I was not of my right mind.”
Macy lowered her head into the crook of her elbow. “I’d go with you. It may not mean much, but I would.”
He lowered himself into a similar position to keep his eyes at the same level as hers. “It means more than I can say.”