Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
T he following morning, Ezra sat at the breakfast table going over his morning mail—numerous invitations to the upcoming balls in town.
His attendance at the Ravensmeres’ coming-out ball had seemingly been a signal to all the eager mamas of the ton that he was back in London, participating in the Season, and perhaps—just perhaps—willing to secure a wife.
Not that he was looking for a love match or a wife at present.
He would never make that mistake again. Not that he did not wish to feel the all-consuming affections that one could grow toward another, but because his heart could not bear another fracture.
Losing Luisa had been the hardest moment of his life—an impossibility to recover from. He could not marry another woman and love her as deeply as he had loved her .
Selfish, yes, but he could not do it.
He would not survive another loss as great as hers had been.
“Darling, I received a missive from Lady Abernathy this morning saying that you attended the Ravensmeres’ ball last evening. I did not think you intended to go?”
He folded up a short note from his steward and slipped it into his coat pocket. “I wanted to see Ravensmere again. It has been many years. And although I did not intend to attend the ball, I happened to join the revelry for an hour or two. But it was nothing, truly.”
His mother waved her own missive in the air before reaching for her cup of tea, her eyes glowing with excitement over the news of his nightly endeavors.
“Well, Lady Abernathy writes that you danced with the young Ravensmere girl. Some say she’s a beauty—and a delightful creature. How did you find her? She’s a duke’s daughter, you know. She would be most suitable…”
He glanced at his mother before picking up his cutlery and digging into his bacon and eggs. “She’s a pleasant woman—not a girl, mama. She’s two and twenty.” He frowned, wondering how he remembered such a detail.
Not that he could easily forget the chit. She was so like Luisa that his mind could not help but demand a dance—to fall back into the past, even if only for a few minutes—and forget the truth in which he now lived.
A truth that she no longer existed within.
“Really?” His mother looked pleased with herself, before she rallied. You are going to try to find a wife, are you not? It need not be the Ravensmere girl. I know that you have only just met, but I so wish to see you settled.”
“Hm. Yes,” he said noncommittally. His mother was not privy to what had occurred in Italy, and nor would she ever be. He did not wish to relive that horrible memory if he could help it. It was bad enough that, at night, when alone in bed, his mind conjured the scene and haunted him.
“Oh, my dearest, this makes me the happiest of mamas . I shall be sure to tell those who need to know that you are back in London to stay—and to settle.”
“Please do not.” He met his mother’s eyes and hoped she would heed his request. “Allow me to work through the Season. Perhaps I shall meet someone who piques my interest—enough for me to court her. And if she is not frightened away by my rough appearance, then we shall see what happens. But I do not wish to be bombarded at every event. I will not go if you are to meddle.”
His mother cast her gaze back to her plate, though he could see she still wished to argue. Still, thankfully, she heeded his warning.
“Very well. I shall do as you ask. But I wish for you to be happy. That is the only reason why I meddle. I do it out of my love for you, my boy.”
Ezra reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I know, and I’m grateful for you. But please—allow me to ease back into society. I have not been part of it for many years, and last night, those short hours at the Ravensmere ball, were quite enough.”
“What are you attending next? The Compton ball on Grosvenor Square? Or the Wilcox event at Lord and Lady Norgrave’s town home? That one is supposed to be quite the affair this year. I heard Lady Norgrave will have their gardens open for dancing outdoors. Can you believe it? It will be like having Vauxhall in the middle of Mayfair!”
Ezra chuckled. That his mama would think something so tame compared to what some of the gentlemen of the ton got up to behind closed doors—or at least down in St. Giles. An outdoor ball did not seem scandalous in the least.
“It’s a masque also, Mama. However will you survive the scandal?”
“Is it?” she asked, clearly having not known.
Ezra handed her the invitation that sat to his right, and she read it, her eyes brightening with excitement.
“Oh, this will be an enjoyable night. An outdoor ball and a masque. What fun we shall have!”
“I have not said I will attend yet.”
“Oh, but you will. And, my dearest, we’re having afternoon tea here today. I thought I should warn you, just in case you see different mamas and their charges calling and fear they are about to accost you in your library, fall to their knees, and beg you to be their husband.”
He shook his head, noting his mother’s jibe and attempt at mockery at the same time. “I will keep to the library and remain unaccosted. You shall be able to enjoy your tea in peace.”
“But you must drop in and welcome our guests, dearest. Even if the young ladies present do not raise any interest in you, it is what is done.”
“So now I am to attend. I thought this was your afternoon tea. I fear this could count as meddling…”
His mother waved his concerns aside. “It is proper etiquette, that is all. The tea begins at two. I’ve had Cook make up some of your favorite shortbreads. I know you’ve missed them.”
Indeed he had—and his mother knew precisely how to lure him from his sanctuary. “I shall drop in and ensure no one has anything untoward to say about your hostess abilities. But if there are no shortbreads left for me, I shall never attend another of your at-homes again.”
“I will ensure some are saved for you.”
They continued with their breakfast in peaceful silence for several minutes before his mother cleared her throat. “What did you think of Lady Evangeline? Do you think she’ll make as grand a match as her sister last year?”
He could hear the curiosity in his mother’s voice and knew she was hopeful he had liked the young woman more than he was letting on.
Which, in truth, was the case.
He liked her far too much. And the fact she looked so much like Luisa did not help his efforts to keep his heart locked behind a safe door—unreachable and unbreakable.
“She is very talkative and intelligent, I believe. Grateful for her Season. Respectful of her sister and the duke. I think she’s a very handsome woman.”
“Handsome?” his mother gasped. “I’ve heard she’s one of the prettiest women in London this year. I’m looking forward to meeting her—not because you danced with her and attended her ball—but because she’s the sister-in-law of one of your closest friends. And any friend of yours is a friend of mine.”
“Thank you, Mama.” He picked up his coffee and downed the last of it. “Do you have any plans this morning? Or is the afternoon tea your only engagement today?”
“Just the tea,” she said, grinning as he stood. “Wear your new coat from Weston, dearest. It will bring out the blue in your eyes.”
He shook his head. His warning to his mother not to meddle seemingly already forgotten. He walked around to where she sat and kissed the top of her head.
“I will wear what I’m in now, Mama. I will not change ten times through the day like a lady. This is new and will do well enough.”
His mother sighed, and the sound reminded him of Lady Evangeline last night.
He frowned as he moved toward the door, not liking that his mind jumped to her almost unconsciously.
It did not bode well for him. Not this early into the Season, at least.