Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
D amn. Damn. Damn. Let go of Lady Evangeline’s silk stocking, you cad! For that matter, let go of her dress.
But he could not.
Something had seized inside him—the overwhelming urge to right her ridiculous wrong—and the sight of her knee, her slim thigh, and those perfect ankles had nearly made him groan. He’d almost dropped to his knees and begged her to give him something—anything—to soothe the ache churning within him.
This only proved what he already knew. He should’ve gone to the Covent Garden and indulged in a little nightly distraction before joining a picnic with a very pretty, very alluring, and very intelligent woman.
He could feel her eyes on him. And if he looked, if he met her gaze, he knew exactly what would happen.
No. That wasn’t true. He knew what would happen—and he couldn’t let it. Not with Lady Evangeline. Not with his friend’s sister-in-law, a woman entrusted to his care.
But she wasn’t safe. Hell, he wasn’t safe.
Neither of them were safe in that moment, and something warm and primal inside him knew it.
“Here I am, touching you again inappropriately. I do apologize, my lady,” he said, keeping his gaze fixated on a window he could not see out of.
“You apologize a lot, my lord. Is it a habit of yours?”
Her teasing tone gave him hope—hope that maybe she didn’t think it anything more than a friend correcting her lapse in propriety.
But the moment he looked at her, he realized his mistake.
She may have spoken with jest, but her eyes burned—with need, with expectation, with hope.
Did she want him to touch her?
Dear God, he wanted to touch her. Almost from the moment they’d met. Once, he’d thought it was because she reminded him of?—
But now… Now he wasn’t so sure his desire stemmed from the past.
She was so very different. Yes, she looked like Luisa, but that was where the resemblance ended. Somewhere along the way, he’d begun to see her as her own person—which, of course, he should have done from the start.
But he couldn’t allow himself the liberty.
He was newly retired from working for the Foreign Office. Who knew who was still watching him? Who might know of his identity after what had happened in Italy?
To be near him in any romantic capacity could be dangerous. He would not put Lady Evangeline in peril.
But dear God, he wanted a taste of her.
“It seems to be a habit when I’m around you,” he admitted, the truth slipping out before he could stop it.
“Really?” she said, her voice low, a seductive edge sharpening each syllable. “You find it hard not to touch me.” She paused. “Interesting.”
“Is it interesting or illogical?”
A small, knowing smile curled her lips. “I think it is both.”
“I don’t know what’s happening here, Lady Evangeline, but I know that it must stop. I can’t promise you anything. I don’t know when— if —I’ll be ready to offer more.”
She bit her lip, then turned to trace a raindrop with her finger as it slid down the windowpane. “How will you know you cannot offer more…if you never try?” She turned back to him. “I may be your soul mate, my lord.”
God help him. How could he tell her that she wasn’t? That he’d buried his soul mate in a foreign grave and left her behind in Italy?
And yet… He couldn’t outright dismiss Evangeline’s words either.
He favored her. She occupied his thoughts far too often. He wanted her. Burned for her. Even now.
“And,” she said airily, “should you dismiss me outright, I’ll be left with no other choice but to marry someone else. Then you’ll have lost your chance to know. I’ll become a what if , a past regret possibly. You’ll always wonder if you should have courted me when you had the chance.”
“I’m not for you, Lady Evangeline. Trust me when I say I keep from you for your own good.”
“ Keep from me?” she said, grinning. “You speak as if you’d ravish me if I said I wished you to.”
Ezra said nothing. To speak would be to confess everything. But he didn’t think she was unaware of his thoughts. She could see it, as clearly as he felt it.
Even with all his warnings, even knowing what danger he might bring, he wanted her. So damn much.
“You could do with a good ravishing,” he said gruffly, “but I shall, unfortunately, not be the one giving you what you need. That pleasure is for your future husband.”
“So you don’t wish to ravish me?” she asked, her voice softening. “Am I not what you—or other men—see as…ravish-worthy?”
Ravish-worthy?
Was that even a word? If only she knew the images plaguing his mind. His cock ached, hard and unrelenting. His muscles strained from the effort not to move— not to gather her in his arms and kiss her until neither of them remembered who they were. To lift her soft muslin skirts and slide his fingers into her warmth… To make her shatter in his arms.
He ground his teeth. “You are very ravish-worthy, Lady Evangeline. Don’t ever doubt your allure.”
“I’ve wondered, since I’ve been in the country so long…perhaps my Season will be unsuccessful. Maybe I’ve left it too late. An old maid in the making.”
“You are far from an old maid,” he said, his voice hoarse. “If I were not a gentleman, I’d move to the seat beside you and show you exactly how wrong you are.”
She grinned, as if she didn’t quite believe him. And it gutted him. He wanted to prove her wrong. Wanted to shatter every ounce of doubt she held about her worth.
Do not kiss her merely because she reminds you of who you lost.
He shook the thought aside. The more he came to know Evangeline, the more distinct those differences became.
And damn it, he was different too.
“You’re very kind, my lord,” she said after a pause. “And should I be gullible, I’d believe you.”
She turned her gaze back to the window, and with it, the conversation seemed to close.
But Ezra couldn’t let it end like that.
For several minutes, they sat in silence, the rumble of the carriage wheels the only sound. Her profile was serene… but something tugged at her. Concern, perhaps. Doubt. Disappointment.
He leaned forward and gently clasped her hands.
“Evangeline,” he said quietly, “look at me.”
She didn’t move.
“Please.”
Slowly—excruciatingly so—she turned to him.
“Yes?” she said, watching him with a glimmer of trepidation.
He took a steadying breath. “I will kiss you. Here and now. Just a friendly kiss, so you may experience what it will be like when your perfect husband finds you.”
“I do not want to make you do anything you don’t wish to do, my lord,” she said softly. “I won’t be anyone’s charity.”
He shook his head. “I do not kiss you out of charity.” His voice dropped low, serious. “Of everything that will happen here this afternoon…know that for certain.”