44. Home Again #3
Though Darien hadn’t known about the plan any more than Kai had, relief flooded through him. It was one thing to walk knowingly toward potential death. He couldn’t bear to watch what it would do to Larissa if she lost Halla.
What will it do to her if she loses you?
The thought pushed itself forward until Darien could think of nothing else.
His mind lost track of whatever Larissa was saying to Kai.
No matter what the Norn had seen, Darien had to go to Safír.
Besides, they hadn’t foretold his death in Safír.
It could happen anywhere, at any time. And really, wasn’t that the same for any of them?
There was no safety in war. But with that thought came the sudden fear of Larissa’s prophecy.
O nly the third of the Perlian line, at the cost of a life, can change Fate’s design .
“Lara, can I talk to you?” The question burst from Darien’s lips before he could catch himself. Kai and Larissa turned in surprise, clearly still in the middle of their conversation. Even Aagen looked at Darien in a knowing manner.
“Sure.” Larissa reached her hand to touch Kai’s shoulder; he stiffened at her touch. “Thank you. I’m grateful that Halla found a friend like you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Kai mumbled under his breath, but Darien could see the tips of the boy’s ears had turned red.
“Goodnight, son,” Aagen called after Darien as he led Larissa down the hall.
It was strange entering his old bedroom.
Nothing had changed. The thin bed was still pushed up against the wall alongside his dresser.
The screen on the window was still ripped at the corner where bugs would fly in during the summer months.
Darien had mended it so many times, he couldn’t tell where the original tear started and where his poor patch jobs ended.
It was even stranger to be in this place, knowing that so many of his memories in it were a lie, placed in his mind by goddesses of fate.
Larissa closed the door behind her, plunging the room into semi-darkness. “Is everything okay?”
Darien shook his head, though Larissa couldn’t see it. He supposed he could turn on the light, but it was easier to admit to his fears in the dark. “Do you ever get the feeling we’re just strings, and the Norn decide where they weave us?”
“No.” Larissa’s answer was quiet, but quick.
“They changed the course of our lives. They gave us false memories that sometimes feel more real than those we actually lived. And now they’re prophesying that we’re both going to die. For what purpose? That we might overthrow an Empress that has had decades to grow in galdr ?”
Larissa’s footsteps thudded softly toward him. Her fingers reached for his forearm, grounding him in that moment. “We are our own people. No matter what the Norn did to us. No matter what is expected of us. We can make our own decisions. We pull the strings, not the Norn.”
“So you could just walk away from the prophecy?”
Larissa’s fingers tightened on Darien’s arm.
He drew closer to her. “Be honest, if I asked you to run away with me, grab Halla, and just flee from all of this, would you do it?”
Part of Darien yearned for Larissa to agree.
Anara could come too, even Kai if he wanted to.
Masai would probably have to come, which would annoy Anara to no end, but he would be safer on the run with them than if he were to return to Smaragd.
But even as Darien imagined this hypothetical future, the images crumbled before his eyes.
Larissa could not leave her people, not now that they’d accepted her.
Darien couldn’t leave his, not now that he’d taken responsibility for them.
Larissa drew in a shaky breath. “Darien, I—”
“I know it wasn’t fair to ask. But when it comes to you, I don’t want to play fair. I just want you safe.” He leaned down, letting his forehead rest against hers. It was easy in the dark to pretend he was back on that shoreline with no more worries than a boy unsure how to tell a girl he loved her.
“I can’t run away now.” Her voice broke, but her hands tightened on his arms as though she couldn’t bear to let him go. “And I don’t think you could either.”
She was right, but Darien wished she wasn’t. “Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything,” Larissa whispered, never sounding more like Lovisa than she did in that moment.
Darien let his hand cup Larissa’s cheek, his thumb running over her scar while his fingers wound into her hair. “Don’t die.”
“I won’t die.” When Larissa said it like that, Darien could almost believe her. “And neither will you. I won’t allow it.”
Darien smiled, a short chuckle falling from his lips. “You’ll tell the Norn, then?”
“They can shove their prophecy all the way back to Asgard.”
“Pretty sure that was destroyed in Ragnarok .”
“My point exactly.”
The silence lengthened, but Darien did nothing to stop it. He knew that when he did, the moment would be over, tomorrow would come, and his certainty would vanish along with the night. When would they have more than just these stolen moments?
Larissa’s warm breath tickled his throat as she sighed against him. “We should sleep.”
She was right; Darien knew she was right. She would need all the rest she could get to use her galdr at full strength. She would need everything she had to prepare for what waited for them, yet he still couldn’t bear to let her go. He buried his face in her hair.
If nothing else, she will survive.
His lips brushed against her forehead as he forced his hands to release her and stepped back. If he hadn’t let her go now, he never would. “You’re right. Besides, if Halla wakes and you’re not there, she’ll worry.”
He couldn’t see her, but he knew the way her eyes would dart to the door, as if she could see Halla through the walls. Yet she didn’t move. Instead, he felt her arms wrap around his neck as she pulled him closer, leaning her head on his shoulder.
“Dar?” she asked, her voice breathless.
“Yes?” he murmured into her hair.
“You have to promise me something too.”
“Anything,” he repeated.
Her hands trailed to grip his jacket. She pulled him close enough that her words were a whisper on his lips. “Don’t die.”
Then she slipped through the door, leaving Darien alone in the dark.