17. Chapter 16
Clark – Three Weeks Later
I frown as I tap my pen on my notebook and look over the timetable the college has sent me, ready to start my course, which, as Miles mentioned, is paid in full and nonrefundable.
I want to be mad at him, I really do, but I just can’t because I’m grateful he took the initiative, knowing my pride wouldn’t allow him to help.
Three weeks, and gah, it feels like a dream if I’m honest.
Every week I’ve gone to therapy with Miles, heard his pain, and talked through my hesitation with this relationship. It seems, for me, sudden, whereas for him, as he said, he’s been figuring shit out for a while, all while I thought he had a mistress.
I hear Willow giggle from upstairs, where she’s having her own little tea party before her ballet class, and I smile slightly while worry churns.
The times I need to be at the hospital and in the classroom at college don’t work with childcare.
I sigh. This was another reason I never looked into college or tried to pursue my dream job. Childcare.
Over the years, because I have no trust in the brothers or the old ladies, Miles’s parents, or even my own family, I relied on Belle for childcare. My fear of betrayal and lack of reliable support pushed me to count on her more than anyone else.
Belle helped a lot, and even now, Drew picks up Willow a few times a week.
I can’t ask them for more. Belle hasn't contacted me much lately—Miles says she’s giving me space while we figure our marriage out and she has her own life.
Being a permanent babysitter isn’t on her to-do list. She wants a future with my brother, which, again, is gross in my eyes, but he makes her happy, and I’ve got to stop relying on her when it comes to my daughter.
“I’m going to have to call Miles,” I groan out loud, seeing this intense schedule.
I understand why it is tense. It’s in-house learning, and because I already have all the qualifications except the degree, it’s only a one-year course but I’m a mom first. Miles is only in his second year of residency, so he can’t dictate his hours either.
Sighing, I grab my phone, knowing I need to disappoint my husband.
He went on a run yesterday but had to find a motel near Rose Hill for the night because of the sudden weather change. I didn’t realize how much I’ve come to look forward to our evenings together.
Every night we have dinner as a family and then he’ll help Willow with her numbers and spelling and if he isn’t on night shift, he’ll put her to bed.
Then he spends the evening massaging my legs that are over his lap while he goes through the accounts Bones has sent him to double check before we bathe together, my back pressed against his front.
Every night he’s been home, he’s spent inside me…
It’s perfect, almost too perfect, and I hate it, but I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm still struggling to accept that my brother's best friend, my husband, actually wants me.
Shaking my head, I bring up Miles’s number, hating to interrupt his meeting with the Dark Angels but a knock sounds at the front door, and I frown when it opens.
"Pat, you cannot just walk into their home!" I hear and I roll my eyes and suddenly look to the stairs.
“I can and I will. She’s my granddaughter!” Patricia snaps back, and I huff as I stand and cross my arms over my chest.
“I couldn’t care less if she’s your granddaughter, you’re not seeing her!” I state, causing Miles’s parents to freeze at the anger in my voice.
Lick winces and apologizes, “I’m sorry, Clark. She heard Trick was still on a club run.”
“Look, I get the club disappointed you, I get they didn’t stand by you, but you can’t punish me by withholding my grandchild from me,” Patricia says softly, and I shake my head at the woman while Lick winces, knowing exactly why Miles never forced me to allow his parents to be on Willow's watch list.
“The club standing by my husband is not why you are not allowed near my daughter,” I inform her, and she frowns.
“I don’t understand,” she says.
“Pat–”
I cut Lick off, knowing he’s about to defend her, and state, “Miles doesn’t want you anywhere near her.”
The woman’s eyes widen while Lick drops his head. His defeat shows he struggles between loyalty to his wife and wanting to protect his own child from more hurt. Which just pisses me off.
“Clark sweetheart, she’s not well, and I don’t want her to have a flare-up,” he says softly, knowing getting pissy with me will give him no favors.
I notice the guilty look Patricia gets before she quickly hides it, and I narrow my eyes and ask, “And what pray tell, seems as you’ve just barged into my home while my daughter is upstairs playing, using the fact my husband, who will most likely disown you for this, is away, and explain what medical condition she has. ”
Patricia flinches, and my jaw ticks.
She’s lied, even I can see it, but Lick can’t, and that has been his downfall.
“She is bipolar, sweetheart,” he tells me softly, but I shake my head.
“And the hospital told you this?” I confirm, “They gave you a diagnosis and groups that can help you care for her, to deal with the condition?”
He frowns and admits, “No, she told me when I picked her up after I explained I rented an apartment for her.”
Na?ve fool.
I shake my head, disgusted, at the guilty-looking Patricia.
I may not be a nurse yet, but I’ve done a nurse’s job for years. Amber has let me take on more roles without the doctors. Including helping diagnose patients with conditions like bipolar disorder. She does not have that.
“You’re not bipolar,” I say, and Lick raises a brow at me as if to say, ‘and how would you know,’ but I don’t answer him. Instead, I keep my eyes on his wife.
“I was committed for six months,” Patricia chokes, and I shake my head.
“That doesn’t mean you are bipolar, and you know it.
You heard the word 'apartment' because Lick wanted to prioritize your son's feelings before deciding about your relationship. You decided to be selfish and said the first word that came to mind, probably because you were tested for the condition. As a nursing assistant, I can tell you that if you had the condition, you would have been discharged with adult social services, required daily medications, and participated in groups to help maintain a normal lifestyle.” I say softly and her hazel eyes tear up. I continue directly, “You want everyone to believe you have it because you don’t want them to see what you tried to do to your son. All that you’ve said to him over the years, or the accusations you made against him about me—especially when I believed I assaulted him. If people believe you have it, then your actions might be excused, but if not, it will show you were of sound mind. That you acted out of petty revenge, fully aware of your intentions and that you called him a rapist several times over when you knew we were drugged is disgusting.”
Patricia flinches as her tears fall, and she chokes, “I’m sorry,” but I shake my head.
“You don’t get to apologize to me,” I snap, “You’ve barged into my home not taking into account my husband's feelings yet again. As far as I’m concerned, it’s him you need to speak to, not me, because I’m not letting you near my daughter, and that is final.”
I look at a shocked Lick, and I say, “I suggest you get her out of here because I meant it when I said I’d kill her. What she did, what she continues to spew to him because he didn’t want to be near her, and you allowed it, it’s unforgivable at this rate.”
His jaw ticks before he commands, “Patricia, out now.”
“But–” he cuts her off and growls, “Get out!” and she jumps, but before she can walk out of the door, he snaps, “Trick told me he couldn’t find bipolar disorder on your medical reports, and I didn’t believe his word when I should have. You’ve lost my trust.”
Her whole body tenses, and she walks out seeing the look on his face while I shake my head.
It’s too late for him now to see the error of his ways and I open my mouth to demand he leave as well but I pause when we hear, “Hi, papa,” and I look at the top of the stairs to find my girl in her leotard, ready for her class with Drew looking at Lick with hesitation.
The man looks at me, his eyes pleading, but the pout he's got on makes me sigh and nod. He doesn’t hesitate as he opens his arms for my daughter and says, “Come give your grandpa a hug, little dancer.”
Willow runs down the stairs and jumps into the man's arms, and my heart softens a little as he looks at me with so much gratitude.
“I know I don’t deserve it, but Trick mentioned in church the other day that you’d probably try and refuse your college course because of the time schedules, wanting to put Willow first. I’m asking you to consider letting me watch her so you can keep going.
I want to help with school runs and pickups because I want things to work out for you.
Especially when you have turned your whole life around to be a full-time mom.
I won’t allow Patricia near her, I swear I won’t, and I will be speaking to my son for not trusting him, for being blinded, but please, just consider it. ”
The honesty in his eyes, so much like my husband's, has me wavering, and I don’t know what to say.
***
“Hey, buttercup,” Miles answers the phone after three rings, and I swallow hard as I watch Willow follow Drew's instructions along with other kids in her age bracket, and I murmur, “Sorry to call you on the run.”
I’m due on shift in half an hour, Drew will be taking Willow for the evening until he gets home because I don’t finish until eight and I knew I couldn’t hold back from telling him about his mom and dad, I just hate that I have to interrupt him.
“Don’t be silly, you need to call me, you call me, Clark,” he instantly replies, and I smile slightly.
“How’s the run going?” I ask, and he hums and admits, “Alright, though I would have preferred to have it done yesterday. I don’t like being away from you.”
“You’ve done it several times before,” I remind him softly.
“And I still struggled, buttercup. I watched you from afar, you just didn’t know,” he shocks me, and my mouth drops.
He watched me?
“Sounds stalkerish,” I choke, and he chuckles.
“I don’t care,” he says, and I relax slightly as he asks, “You watching our girl?”
“Yeah, she’s currently being taught a turn, her little tongue is out in concentration,” I admit, and he hums. I sigh, “Your parents showed up this morning.”
“What?!” he growls lowly, and I swallow the lump forming.
“Your mom knocked then just walked in without giving me chance to open the door demanding to see her grandchild. Said that I can’t keep punishing her for what the brothers decided on my behalf all those years ago.
I kind of had a go at her and called her a liar to her face about being bipolar which we both know she doesn’t have,” I say and Miles is quiet for moment.
“Well done, Willow, that was excellent!” Drew exclaims, and I lock eyes with the heavily pregnant woman and mouth, “Favoritism,” and she sticks her tongue out at me, making me grin.
“Miles,” I say softly, and he grunts, “I’m pissed, buttercup. They’ve acted like what she did was normal, and she has the fucking gall to demand access to our daughter? She can fuck off!”
I sigh, “I told her as much,” then I admit, “Your dad begged me to allow him to do the school runs, something about you being worried I’ll use the schedule and childcare clashing as an excuse not to do the course.”
“I don’t know if I want him watching her, Drew already offered to pick up the slack for us,” he confesses, and I smile slightly.
“He promised not to allow your mom near her, but I am telling you, if you don’t want him to watch her, then I’ll follow your lead,” I say, and he grunts before going quiet again, and I hate it when he gets quiet.
“Want to tell me why there was a toy snake on the dashboard of my car this morning, Mr. White?” I say, and he laughs just like I hoped he would.
“I just wanted to make sure you were thinking about me, Mrs. White,” he replies, and I smile and admit, “I’m always thinking about you, Miles, have been since I was a kid.”
“Then I know for a fact that we’re going to be okay,” he murmurs softly, and I whisper, “I love you, Miles.”
“I love you too, baby.”