Chapter 15 The First Time for Everything
The First Time for Everything
ETHAN
Two weeks since the charity car wash, things with Tyler have shifted into something surprisingly easy. Nothing with Ryan had been easy, but Tyler has been so great.
"So, tonight's the big night, huh?" Sylas's voice comes through my phone speaker as I straighten the already-neat stack of textbooks on the coffee table.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I aim for casual while my stomach does flips.
"Please," Sylas scoffs. "I didn't agree to stay at my cousin's place for no reason. You've got the frat guy coming over for 'privacy.' I know what that means."
My face feels warm. "We're just hanging out."
"Hanging out naked, maybe."
"Sylas!"
"What? You guys have been practically attached at the hip for weeks. Every time I see you, you're either studying together between classes or sneaking off to his frat house."
"We don't 'sneak off,'" I protest, though he's not wrong. We've fallen into a routine, spending time together whenever our schedules align, stealing kisses in empty stairwells when we think no one's looking. His fraternity brothers even know me by name now.
"Look," Sylas's tone turns more serious. "I'm just saying... this guy seems different. You seem different with him."
Pausing with the cloth still in hand, my voice comes out uncertain. "Different how?
"Happier," he says simply. "More yourself. Like you're not always walking on eggshells like you did with Mr. Six Feet of Pure Regret."
Yeah, I can't argue with that. Each time Tyler and I are together, we go a little further and learn a little more about each other. But we haven't taken the last physical step yet. We both seem to feel it's something worth taking our time with.
"Maybe," I admit. "Tonight does feel different. After barely seeing each other all week because of midterms, he suggested coming over for some privacy and—"
"And your slutty little heart skipped a beat," Sylas finishes for me.
"I was going to say 'it made me nervous,' but thanks for that colourful alternative."
"Nervous? Why? You guys have already done stuff, right?"
A sigh escapes before the words tumble out. "Yes, but not... everything. And I don't know, somehow this matters. He matters."
"Oh, honey," Sylas's voice softens. "You're falling for Fratty McHotbody, aren't you?"
Before I can answer, there's a knock at the door. My heart jumps into my throat.
"He's here." My whisper states what's painfully obvious.
"Then hang up on me, you idiot! And remember—"
"I know, I know. Use protection."
"I was going to say 'have fun,' but that too. I'll be home after noon, and I'm desperate for all the dirty details!"
Ending the call, I straighten as air fills my lungs in one long, steadying breath.
Nerves ambush me, clashing with the anticipation that's been building between us for weeks.
When I open the door and see Tyler standing there with takeout and that smile, the one that feels like it's just for me, my nerves melt away into something else, something I'm more sure of.
This is Tyler, after all. With him, everything feels right.
"Hey," he says, leaning in to kiss me softly. "I brought dinner. Though food might not have been what you had in mind."
Laughing, my hands reach out to Tyler, pulling him inside. "Food is perfect. We've got all night."
The privacy of my apartment feels fantastic after weeks of sneaking around at his frat house, always knowing his brothers were just outside his door, always having to keep quiet. Here, there's no need to muffle the sounds I make when his teeth graze my neck or his fingers tighten on my hip.
Leaving the food in the kitchen, we head straight for my bedroom.
Tyler's weight presses me into my mattress, his lips moving desperately against mine as if he's trying to memorize the shape of my mouth.
We've been making out for what feels like hours, both of us shirtless, his jeans unzipped but still on, my sweatpants riding dangerously low on my hips.
"God, you taste good," Tyler murmurs against my collarbone, his voice already ragged. "Like how sunshine would taste if it was a flavour."
"That doesn't make any sense." But I can feel my face warming in delight.
"I know," he admits, propping himself up on his elbows to look at me. His eyes are dark, his pupils blown wide. "My brain doesn't work right when I'm around you. All I can think about is touching you, tasting you."
His honesty sends heat coursing through me. That's another thing I'm learning about Tyler: he narrates everything, his thoughts spilling out unfiltered, especially when we're like this. Tyler can't stop telling me what he's feeling and thinking, while Ryan always keeps everything locked up tight.
"I love how you say exactly what you're thinking," I tell him, running my hands down his back, feeling the muscles shift beneath his skin.
"Too much?" he asks, suddenly looking uncertain.
"No," my voice firm as I pull him down for another kiss. "Perfect."
His hands explore my chest, thumbs brushing over my nipples in a way that makes me arch into his touch.
"Your body is ridiculous," he says reverently. "You don't even know, do you? How beautiful you are."
Under his praise, blood rushes to my face faster than a code blue response, making words impossible to find. Part of me still can't believe we're here, that this gorgeous man is looking at me like I'm something precious.
"I want you," my voice is quiet but firm against his lips, deciding directness is the best approach. "All of you."
Tyler pulls back slightly, his eyes searching mine. "You mean...?"
"If you're ready," I suddenly worry that I'm pushing him too fast. "We don't have to—"
"I'm ready," he interrupts, his voice certain. "I've been thinking about it. About you. I want this, Ethan. I want you."
The sincerity in his eyes makes my chest ache. "I want you too," my voice is soft. "So much."
His kiss turns deeper, more purposeful. His hands slide down to the waistband of my sweatpants, hesitating.
"Can I?"
Nodding, I lift my hips to help as he pulls them down, leaving me in just my boxers. The outline of my erection is visible through the thin fabric, and Tyler's eyes widen slightly.
"Your turn." His belt loops provide the perfect leverage to pull teasingly.
He quickly stands to remove his jeans, his movements betraying a hint of nervousness that I find endearing. He's down to his boxer briefs, the bulge impressive, and it makes my mouth go dry.
"Come here," He takes the hand I hold out, allowing me to pull him back onto the bed. "We can go as slow as you need."
"I want to do everything right," Tyler admits, stretching out beside me. "I've, uh, done some research, but I don't want to mess this up."
"You won't," my voice reassures him as I run my hand along his arm. "We'll figure it out."
We kiss again, slower this time, more deliberate. His hand slides down my stomach, slipping beneath my boxers to wrap around me. I gasp at the contact, my hips bucking involuntarily.
"Am I doing this right?" he asks, his voice betraying a rare hint of uncertainty as his thumb circles the head. For all his confidence, this is new territory for him.
"Very right. My voice comes out breathier than intended. "But if we keep this up, things are going to end before they start."
He grins, a flash of confidence returning. "Can't have that."
Sitting up, I reach for the nightstand drawer. "I have supplies," I say, pulling out a bottle of lube and a strip of condoms.
Tyler watches me with a mixture of hunger and nervousness. "I want to be inside you," he says, voice rough. "If that's what you want to."
The directness of his statement sends a shiver down my spine. "Yes," My head bobs up and down. "That's what I want."
Leaning in to kiss him, I pause a second to tease by pulling back to whisper against his ear. "My safe word is meatloaf."
Tyler rears back so fast he nearly falls off the bed, his eyes wide and panicked. "Umm, I don't know... I don't think... umm..." he stutters, looking utterly bewildered. "I don't think I'm that kinky or anything... is that okay?"
It's hard to keep a straight face when his expression is just so perfectly horrified. The laugh starts small but grows until I'm doubled over.
"What?" Tyler asks, looking confused and slightly hurt. "What did I say?"
Sitting up while still laughing, I pull his face down for a kiss. "Nothing. I'm just messing with you. I have no kinky plans for you, I promise. Everything is going to be perfect."
Relief washes over his features, followed by a rueful smile. "You're terrible," he says, but he's laughing too.
"I'm sorry," Though I don't sound sorry at all. "Your face was priceless."
"I just thought..." He shakes his head. "Never mind."
I kiss him again. "For the record, I don't think we need a safe word. But if anything doesn't feel good, I'll tell you, and you'll do the same, right?"
"Absolutely," he nods, serious now.
Our boxers come off next, both of us naked and taking in the sight of each other fully for the first time. Tyler's eyes widen as they drop to my erection, standing proud against my stomach.
"Damn," he murmurs, his eyes darkening with desire as he takes me in. "I'm still trying to figure out how someone your size is hiding that. It's like finding out the quiet guy in class is secretly a superhero."
My laugh is a little self-conscious. "Says the guy who's bigger."
"Nah, we're pretty close. Basically a matched set," he grins, his confidence returning. His eyes travel over my body, intent and appreciative. "You're gorgeous, Ethan. All of you."
The compliment lands, and suddenly my face feels like I'm having a localized allergic reaction, all heat. Usually, when I'm naked with someone, there's a rush to get to the main event. Ryan never took the time to look at me like this or appreciate me.
"Come here," I say softly, pulling Tyler on top of me. The feeling of our bodies pressing together, skin to skin, draws groans from both of us.
"You feel incredible," Tyler murmurs against my neck. "I could stay like this forever."
His hands move over me slowly, like he's learning every part of me that he wants to make his own. I push up against his touch, torn between wanting to hurry things along and enjoying how good it feels to be touched so carefully.
"I want to make this good for you," he says, his mouth trailing down my chest.
"It already is." No hesitation, no second-guessing, just the truth.
Reaching for the lube, I pop the cap. "I'll show you how to get me ready," I say, guiding his hand.
Tyler watches intently as I squeeze lube onto my fingers. "Tell me what to do," he says, his voice a mixture of nerves and eagerness.
"Start with one finger," I instruct. "Go slow. There's no rush."
He nods, positioning himself between my legs, watching as I slowly circle my entrance. I've never been watched this intensely and must admit I feel pretty powerful that this man needs me to teach him what to do with another man.
"My turn," Tyler says, suddenly eager. He reaches for the lube, but in his excitement, he squeezes too hard, and a large dollop spills onto the sheets.
"Oops," he says, looking chagrined.
"Well, there was going to be a wet spot anyway."
He joins my laughter, and something about the moment, both of us naked, laughing, comfortable enough to be goofy together, feels right. His touch is gentle, almost too careful as he circles my entrance.
"Like this?" he asks.
"Just like that," nodding my head, I almost gasp out, "You can push in now."
He does, his finger breaching me slowly, his eyes fixed on my face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm perfect. Please keep going."
Tyler is a quick study, following my instructions and reading my reactions. When his finger brushes my prostate, my back arches off the mattress, a moan escaping me.
"There," air rushes from my lungs. "Right there."
"Found it," he grins, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. He strokes the spot again, watching me squirm. "That's amazing."
"Add another finger," my need makes the words come out more demanding than intended.
He complies, stretching me carefully. "You look so beautiful like this," he says, his voice thick with wonder. "Opening up for me. Trusting me."
His words are as arousing as his touch. "I do trust you," I say, surprised by how true it is.
Tyler takes over completely, his confidence growing as he works a third finger into me, stretching carefully. "You feel so tight," he murmurs. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," The words come out steady, sure. "I'm ready. I want you inside me."
His eyes darken at my words. He reaches for a condom, tearing it open with slightly trembling hands. I watch as he rolls it on, then adds more lube, coating himself generously.
"How do you want me?"
"Just like this," he says. "I want to see your face."
The request makes my heart stutter. Ryan always preferred me face down, avoiding eye contact. Tyler is full of happy surprises.
He positions himself between my legs, the blunt head of his cock pressing against my entrance. His eyes lock with mine. "Tell me if it's too much," he says.