Chapter 18 The Bottom Line
The Bottom Line
TYLER
Later that night, we're tangled together again in my room, our kisses growing more heated. I pull back slightly. I'm trying to look confident, but my stomach's doing somersaults.
"I've been thinking about what we talked about this morning," my voice is steadier than I feel. "About trying something new."
Ethan's eyes widen slightly, his pulse visibly quickening at my throat. "You want to?"
Nodding feels mechanical, the apprehension that's been building all day suddenly stuck in my throat. "I trust you."
Something shifts in Ethan's expression, a softness that makes my chest tight. He kisses me gently, his thumb stroking my cheek.
"We'll go slow," he promises. "And we'll stop if anything doesn't feel good."
"I know," my lips are smiling against his, meaning it completely. "That's why I want this with you."
What happens next is Ethan taking his time, treating me so gently that it embarrasses me a little. He's so meticulous, so careful as he preps me. I'm trying to relax into it, to focus on the connection rather than the strange, unfamiliar sensations.
But the truth is, it doesn't feel like I expected. Not painful exactly, just... odd. Invasive in a way that doesn't translate to pleasure for me. I keep waiting for it to feel good, for that moment of revelation, but it doesn't come. Why doesn't this feel good?
Instead of my usual stream of unstoppable babbling during sex, I'm entirely in my head, hyper-focused on trying to enjoy this for Ethan's sake.
My teeth find my bottom lip as I try to relax muscles that seem determined to resist.
Ethan stops. "You're not enjoying this, are you?"
Relief washes through me, and my breath whooshes out. "Is it that obvious?"
"You stopped talking," he says, easing out of me carefully. "You're always talking in bed. It's one of my favourite things about you."
Running a hand through my hair, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep up my neck. "I didn't want to disappoint you."
And it's true, the fear of letting Ethan down had kept me from speaking up, from admitting that this just wasn't working for me the way I'd hoped.
"Hey," Ethan says firmly, moving to lie beside me. "You could never disappoint me. Especially not by being honest about what feels good and what doesn't."
Turning to face him, gratitude washes through me at how easily he's accepting this. "I'm sorry. I thought I'd like it, but it just feels... weird. Not good-weird. Just weird."
Ethan laughs softly, the sound easing the last of my tension. "That's perfectly okay. Not everyone likes the same things."
A new concern hits me. "What about you?" suddenly worried I've ruined something for him. "You were doing that for me."
"And I'd do it again if you wanted," he assures me, his expression sincere. "But..." He hesitates, a blush rising on his cheeks that I find incredibly endearing. "I really… really like it when you top me. I like how you tell me everything you're feeling, how good it feels to be inside me."
His quiet admission sends heat rushing through me, and a slow smile spreads across my face. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," his blush deepens, "A lot."
Relief and desire mix, my confidence returning as I roll him onto his back. "Well then," feeling like I'm back on solid ground, "I think we should go back to what works for us."
And just like that, we're back in familiar territory. I love this, having Ethan beneath me, watching his expressions, knowing exactly how to touch him to draw out those little gasps and moans. Words flow from me naturally now, no filter between my thoughts and what I say.
"You're so beautiful like this," I murmur as I work him open with my fingers, watching his face transform with pleasure. "I love watching you respond to my touch, the way your body welcomes me."
He makes a sound that's almost a whimper, and I can't help grinning. I've learned what he likes, how my words affect him almost as much as my touch.
"You like it when I tell you how good you feel?" my voice lowers deliberately. "How tight and hot you are around my fingers? How I can't wait to be inside you."
"Yes," he gasps, his honesty making me want him even more.
Bending down I kiss him, deep and claiming, feeling possessive in the best way. "Then I'm not going to stop. I'm going to tell you exactly how perfect you feel, how crazy you make me."
And I don't stop, letting every thought, every sensation pour out of me as the pleasure builds between us. By the time I'm fully inside him, I'm almost overwhelmed by how right this feels, how perfect we are together this way.
"Please," he begs, pulling me down for a desperate kiss.
"I've got you," I promise, starting to move. "You feel so good, Ethan. So perfect. I could stay inside you forever."
Watching his face transform with pleasure, I know my words are pushing him closer to the edge.
There's something really powerful in this, knowing exactly how to make him feel good, being trusted with his pleasure.
Everything else fades away until all I can think about is Ethan, the way he responds to me, how perfectly we fit together.
"I'm close," Ethan gasps, his fingers digging into my shoulders, eyes locked with mine in a way that makes my chest tight with emotion.
"Let go for me," The words come out rough with need. "I want to watch you come apart."
His body arches beneath me, trembling on the edge. "Tyler… I—"
"I know, baby. I'm right here with you."
When he finally breaks, his back bowing and my name torn from his throat, the sight of him completely surrendered sends me spiralling after him. My rhythm falters as pleasure overtakes me.
"God, Ethan—you feel—" My words dissolve into a loud groan as waves of intense pleasure crash through me. We cling to each other, foreheads pressed together, breath mingling as we ride through it.
"Don't stop talking… Don't ever stop talking to me," he manages between ragged breaths, his fingers threading through my hair.
"You're amazing," my voice a whisper against his lips, my body is still pulsing inside his. "So perfect. This is perfect."
For a moment, we stay still, connected in every way possible, and I swear I can feel something huge passing between us, something I'm not ready to name yet, but can't deny either.
After, as we're catching our breath, I prop myself up on my elbow to look at him, unable to resist teasing a little. "So... pillow princess, huh?"
Ethan groans, covering his face with his arm, and says far too loudly, "I am NOT a Pillow Princess!" Then, quieter, he admits, "I just... appreciate your verbal skills."
"Uh-huh," my grin widens at how adorable he looks when flustered. "You get all hot and bothered when I talk to you."
"It's not my fault you have a sexy voice," he mutters, still hiding behind his arm.
Laughing, I pull his arm away from his face to kiss him. "I'm not complaining. I like telling you how amazing you feel. I like watching you respond to my words."
Before he can answer, there's a knock at my door.
"What?" Quickly, I pull the sheet up over us, just in case one of the guys busts in, out of courtesy more than modesty.
Gavin's voice comes through the door. "Just thought you two might want to know that the entire house is taking up a collection to buy noise-cancelling headphones."
Ethan tense beside me, but I just laugh. "Sorry, not sorry," I call back, surprising myself with how little I care that my brothers heard us.
"Also," Gavin continues, sounding amused, "what's a pillow princess? The entire living room is now debating this."
"Oh my god," Ethan groans, pulling the sheet over his head. "Kill me now."
I'm shaking with silent laughter, genuinely entertained by both the question and Ethan's mortification. "I'll explain later, G," I call.
"I'm holding you to that," Gavin replies.
Then, another voice joins in, Ian, who I recognize immediately. "Hey, Gavin, serious question though. Should sex sound like that? Like, is that normal?"
"How would I know?" Gavin responds, his voice curious rather than mocking. "I've never been with a guy."
"Well, neither have I, but damn, they were having a good time in there."
Through the door comes Gavin's voice, carrying that same tone he always uses when shrugging his massive shoulders. "Must be doing something right. Maybe we should be taking notes."
Patience finally runs out, though amusement wins over annoyance. "You two mind having your sexual awakening somewhere else? We can hear everything you're saying."
"Sorry!" Ian calls, not sounding sorry at all. "Congrats on the sex, by the way!"
"Fuck off!" I shout back, laughing.
"With pleasure," Gavin replies. "But probably not with each other." The sound of their laughter fades as they finally walk away from the door.
Ethan emerges from under the sheet, his face still flushed bright red. "I'm never leaving this room again."
"That's fine by me," Arms pull him close, mind already spinning toward round two. "Though eventually, we'll need more food."
His face is bright red, but his laugh is genuine, sending a wave of heat through my chest. "Your priorities are obvious."
"Hey, I need to keep my strength up," Lips press gently against his forehead. "Especially if I'm going to keep making you blush like that."
"You're terrible," he tells me, but there's no heat behind it.
"Maybe," I agree, feeling something soft and vulnerable expand in my chest as I look at him. "But you like me anyway."
"Yeah," he admits, snuggling up against my chest with a smile that makes my heart skip. "I really do."
And that's enough, more than enough, for now. The fact that I tried something new today and it didn't work out doesn't feel like a failure. If anything, it feels like progress, like we're figuring out who we are together. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.