Chapter 1
Trigger – Age Twenty Eight
Buzzing surrounds me as I gently fill in the butterfly tramp stamp on my client, Trish’s, lower back, a cliché tattoo that I hate fucking doing.
She has been trying to lift her ass in my face the entire session.
Her short-shorts not even covering most of her ass cheeks as she tries to get my attention.
Unfortunately for her, I’m not even tempted.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s hot as fuck, her body one for men to drool over even with the fake tits, and my dick has taken notice, because she’s not my wife.
Ten years we’ve been married, ten years of struggling with my guilt for wanting Ash to abort our son who is fucking amazing – something she has no idea about and will never find out especially if I want to keep my balls.
Ten years of trying to convince my mama this was the right route to take because Ashley was always going to end up with me.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I do feel a little resentment, but it’s a feeling I need to squash, no, a feeling I have to squash because my wife, she doesn’t deserve my resentment or my feelings of missing out.
Especially when she gave me an out, twice, gave up school so I could continue with my degree and become more for the Rebels MC, a club I grew up in, a role my dad used to have and handed it down to me as soon as I got my degree in fine arts.
Ashley went to work, basically every single day until late, bringing in money when I couldn’t. All while being the best mama to our son, even taking him to work with her until my mama finally pulled her head out of her ass and offered to babysit him with the encouragement of my dad.
Fuck, the thought of hurting Ashley all because I never got my playboy days like my brothers did, is sickening. I still feel like I missed out after ten years of always wanting to be inside my wife, it just makes me fucking pathetic.
I love her, I do, so fucking much and even now, she’s still working, still refusing to give that job up.
Still placing all her checks in our joint account even though she doesn’t have to, proving to everyone she didn’t want the cut, didn’t want the title of being an old lady.
Fuck, she refuses to wear her property because of the shit people said about her and hasn’t worn it since she was eighteen.
Even though she does wear her simple thin gold wedding band with honor I fucking miss seeing her wear my leather.
I really need to get her a diamond ring, especially with our eleventh wedding anniversary coming up and hopefully convince her to wear the leather with pride again.
I sigh as I dip my needle into some more black ink and continue my work, trying to ignore my gut churning.
The past and my stupid teenage mind making regret fucking high.
I hate feeling resentment towards Ash and sometimes towards our son, and I pray she never finds out about how I’ve been feeling on and off over the years.
She’d fucking leave me in a heartbeat, and I can’t let that happen. I can’t lose her because I will spiral.
The woman is my life.
“Trigger,” Trish whispers with a seductive husk as I glide my tattoo needle over a sensitive bit on her back, and I roll my eyes even though my cock did twitch, which is just normal, I mean, I’m only human after all.
Though, if Ash ever got sexual desires for another man, I’d probably kill the fucker, which is just hypercritical, I know.
“Nearly done,” I mutter, and she hums out “Okay” as I finish filling in the last bit of the butterfly.
So fucking cliché.
“Alright, all done,” I state two minutes later as I put my gun down and grab my cloth and some gel to gently rub it over her tattoo as I explain, “I’m going to place a light adhesive film over your tattoo, after roughly twenty four hours you can remove it then gently wash it with fragrance free soap and water or antibacterial soap if you can find it.
If you have any problems, you can come back and someone here will see you. ”
“How about your number?” she says as she looks back at me as I place the film over her tattoo, taping it in place. I look at her to see a seductive smirk tilting her too thick lips. She husks, “That would be easier than coming in, wouldn’t it?”
Should have seen that one coming.
I tilt my lips as I automatically reply, “Somehow I doubt my wife and son would be too happy with that.”
My confession does it, her smirk dies as her body locks up and embarrassment etches her. I shake my head as I lean away, removing my gloves, fucking happy she’s my last customer of the day.
Maybe I can convince my wife to spend the evening with me instead of working.
We’ve both been busy, me especially and honestly, I fucking miss her.
Just as Trish climbs off the chair, my door opens with a bang, making us both look, and my smile automatically fills my face as my son rushes inside.
“Dad, Dad, guess what?” Cole shouts, running towards me, his blonde hair just like his mama’s, falling over his face.
The kid is a spitting image of his mama, right down to his bright green eyes, and is in need of a haircut.
I raise a brow in question, ignoring Trish, who is watching us intently, and he states excitedly, “I lost my tooth,” as he shows me said tooth before doing some weird little shimmy dance, making me laugh.
“He’s so your son with those dance moves…” A sweet voice carries, and I look towards the door to find my beautiful wife leaning against the doorframe, shaking her head at our son.
“My dance moves are not that bad,” I protest, my heart racing as I look over her.
Fuck she’s beautiful and my cock that twitched for Trish is standing at attention now for his wife.
“Oh, they are,” Ash confirms firmly, making me smirk as she reminds me, “Prom? Remember, I wore open-toe heels and ended up in the emergency room because you actually broke my big toe…”
“Dad, you didn’t….” Cole giggles, and I grin widely as I admit, “Oh I did.”
I'd sat with her the whole time in the ER before I made love to her all night after we got home as an apology.
Trish clears her throat, gaining my attention, and gone is the flirty girl who tried to get in my pants as she says softly, “Thank you so much for my tattoo, I’ll pay at the desk.” I nod, and she looks at Cole, then Ashley, and smiles before shaking her head and walking out.
“I take it she wanted your number?” Ash confirms, and I laugh, not at all shocked that she put two and two together.
“You jealous?” I ask with a sly smirk, and she raises her brow and reminds me, “I’ve been with you since I was ten years old, you are mine, so no, I’m not jealous.”
My smirk softens into a soft smile, and I lift my arm for her, needing her body up against mine, needing her skin touching me.
She pushes off the frame instantly and walks into my embrace as she mumbles, “Your son was extremely excited when I picked him up from school about his tooth and wanted to see you.”
I hum as I press my lips against her forehead before I breathe in her vanilla and coconut smell that I love so much and confirm, “You’re not working tonight?”
She shakes her head and admits, “I wanted the evening with my family,” and I smile, holding her tightly.
Two great minds think alike.
“Is that my favorite grandson?” I hear, and I look to see my dad standing just outside his tattoo room, a grin on his face so big it stretches the scar across his cheek that his dad gave him to make him tougher.
Unfortunately for grandpa, it made Dad so tough he killed him with the very knife he used to carve his sons face up.
“Grandpa, I’m your only grandson.” Cole giggles as he rushes over to my dad who hums as he wraps his arm around Cole.
“That is right, you are, aren’t you?” Dad confirms, and Cole nods before looking my way and asks, “When am I going to get another grandchild?”
I smirk as I look down at my wife with a raised brow, who looks at me with red cheeks and a shy smile on her face, making her look even more beautiful as her green eyes sparkle with dare I say… hope?
Hmm, if she wants another child, we can definitely work on that…
I look back at Dad and confirm, “We’ll work on it!”
He grins widely as Ashley shakes her head and hides her face in my chest, making me chuckle as I gently rub my fingers up and down her back, and Dad replies, “Good, now, why don’t you and your wife talk that through? I’m stealing my grandson.”
Cole goes willingly, no stealing required, and I look down as Ash leans her chin against my chest and looks at me underneath those long eyelashes of hers.
She hasn’t got a lick of makeup on and is fucking gorgeous.
I’m a lucky fucker.
“Another baby, huh?” she asks sweetly.
I grin and remind her, “Cole is nearly ten, baby, I think we may have waited long enough for another,” and I gently cup her cheek.
“That is true,” she whispers, nothing but love shining in those beautiful eyes of hers.
I admit, “Though I won’t be looking forward to watching you go through all that pain again, I am looking forward to making the baby.”
She laughs as she pushes me away, then demands, “Get your ass on that chair, mister, I want to continue my work.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say cockily and jump on my tattoo chair as I remove my shirt.
Ashley looks at me, biting her lip as she takes me in, which makes me smirk, before she shakes her head and grabs her tattoo gun, because yes, I bought her one and taught her how to ink.
She climbs on me, straddling me, making me grin before she dips the gun and leans forward, continuing her words – her love poem she gave me on our first anniversary when we were eleven to be exact – over my heart underneath her name.
Cole’s name is large down my arm.
I sigh as the needle hits my skin and she murmurs, “I’ve missed you,” and my heart soars, “I feel like we don’t spend much time together at the moment.”
“Then we need to make time, ” I murmur as I gently rub my hand on her thigh.
“Tomorrow night, can we have a date night?” she asks, lifting the needle off my skin to dip it. “Just you and me,” she says, looking at me, “I want to tell you something, but I want to do it in a nice romantic setting.”
“And you can’t tell me now?” I ask with a smirk, but she smiles widely and shakes her head.
My romantic girl…
“I actually have two truths to tell you, but I want to do it right, please…” She whispers, and I nod, making her smile go even wider if that is even possible.
“Good,” she whispers before she leans forward and presses a gently chaste kiss to my lips, that one touch sending sparks across my whole face before she pulls back and places the needle on my skin again, buzzing sounds surrounding us, and contentment fills me.
It is times like this I hate the resentment I feel sometimes. Times like these I fucking cherish because this woman, she is my life, and the thought of not spending it with her, it fucking kills me, and I know I won’t survive.
I may not have had the time to sow my oats and all that shit, but I did find my forever girl, and I’m damn lucky that I have.