Chapter 3
Trigger – One Month Later
I lift my finger to the prospect, who I don’t fucking know, but I don’t care.
I’m at the clubhouse to get drunk!
I’m ignoring the partying going on behind me, hang arounds all spreading through the common room, trying to get a brother's attention, hoping they begin a vote to accept them into the club, either as a prospect or clubwhore, but all I can do is drink myself into a stupor.
One whole fucking month and my wife has not let me touch her, fuck, she barely even looks at me and flinches if I even go near her, breaking my heart bit by bit every single day.
She’s barely home, barely speaks to me, and at first, I thought it was to punish me for canceling our date. For not being there for her when she tripped over and banged her face because Mama was sick, which Ash obviously knew was bullshit.
Mama hates that we’re still together after all this time, adamant Ash is using me for my patch. I allowed her to think that after I admitted to wanting to get rid of Cole, which again, guilt fucking seeps through my bones at the thought of it.
I love my fucking family, but I feel like they’re slipping through my fingers.
I down the shot the prospect places in front of me in one, then motion for another.
I think my wife is cheating on me…
She was on the phone earlier, acting all shifty, and when I asked who she spoke to, she fucking lied and said it was Nat, her supervisor, and I know she lied because I fucking checked her phone when she was helping Cole with his homework.
The number was unknown.
She’s cheating on me, having an affair with someone from around the convenience store. Why else would she refuse to quit her job, huh?
The prospect puts another shot down and again, I down it before I stand, my body wobbling from all the liquor, and I stumble as I turn around and walk towards the back of the common room towards my room off the left from church where we have our officer meetings, one I’ve got in the morning.
Fuck.
I need sleep, maybe just half an hour before I head home and have it out with my wife, the liquid courage I needed ended up being more than I should have consumed, and now I'm not in the right frame of mind to demand if she’s fucking someone else.
We barely spent any time together as it was before Mama fucked things up with our date, and now we don’t even communicate, let alone fuck.
I miss my fucking wife, I miss the affection, the love.
Now all I get is the cold fucking shoulder and the secretive phone calls.
I swear if I find out she’s fucking another guy, I’ll tie her to my bed and let her watch me kill the fucker.
I stumble into my room, the light gray walls blurring before I feel small hands glide across my stomach, one going down to my cock, and Ash comes to mind instantly, the way I miss her, the way I want her to touch me like this again, and I frown.
There’s no tingling sensation I normally get.
The touch is wrong but as I close my eyes, my mind, it conjures up my sexy ass wife wearing nothing but my property patch and I don’t think about anything but her.
Her body, every curve, the way she’d get goosebumps as I run my lips across her skin and I turn around and grip her cheeks, pressing my lips against hers hard, our tongues instantly touching, searching for the other and I groan in displeasure.
The kiss feeling different but I don’t stop what I’m doing as I wrap my arm around her waist and lift her, needing her, needing to feel us again, missing her so fucking much…
She wraps her legs around my waist as I lie us on my bed while reaching between us and pulling my dick out of its confines before pulling her drenched panties to the side and quickly guiding my dick to her entrance, I thrust forward hard and fast.
She moans and gasps in my mouth, the sounds sounding so fucking different as she wraps her legs around my waist, thrusting up into me, meeting me thrust for thrust, showing me she missed me just as much as I’ve missed her.
Fuck…
My spine already tingles, my balls already feeling heavy, a month without her showing.
I break the kiss and place my face into her neck, her smell not the same, confusing me. Instead of vanilla and coconut, cherry hits me, but I don’t think too much of it as I slam into her repeatedly, tilting my hips to give her what she needs.
Ash and I, we’ve grown together, learned sex together, and I have to admit, this is different, not as good as it usually is, but that could be because I’m fucking drunk.
Her walls flutter and tighten around me, and my breathing picks up as she screams in my ear, the sounds just not right before I bottom out and erupt inside her, hoping and fucking praying I knock her up, that her contraception fails and that she can never leave me, never choose another man over me and our son.
Her arms wrap around me, holding me tightly as I groan in displeasure again, my orgasm not as good as it normally is, and I frown.
So fucking weird. Maybe it’s because I’m drunk.
With that thought in mind, I breathe heavy as I nip her neck before lifting up, expecting to see my wife’s gorgeous eyes, to feel the love and the connection I have missed so fucking much despite the sex being lackluster for the first time ever in our relationship.
Instead I lock eyes with Virginia’s blue ones and panic hits as my stomach drops, especially when I realize I’m inside her bare.
I just fucking took her raw thinking she was Ash. ..
Fuck, fuck, fuck, no…
I quickly climb off Virginia, a bitch we went to school with and has been trying for months to be welcomed into the club as a clubwhore, and bile rises as I sit on the edge of my bed, my cock hanging out as I breathe heavy, my mind not able to comprehend my actions.
Fuck, what have I just done?
Filth and fucking dirt consumes me and a fuck ton of guilt, so much guilt…
How am I supposed to look my wife in the eye now, huh? I don’t give a fuck if she’s having an affair, doing this, it fuck, what have I done?
My heart pounds so fast I’m scared I’m about to have a heart attack, and the bile rises as Virginia giggles, “Wow, I mean just wow, that was out of this world good. I have been missing out…”
I flinch at her words as I drop my head to my hands, my eyes blurring.
I thought she was, I thought… Fuck.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly grab it and flinch again, seeing it’s a message from my wife, my fucking everything. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Steeling myself, I open her message only for my stomach to drop and pain to hit me fucking hard.
My Pixie:
I’m going to be late again tonight, the night cover is running late, don’t wait up.
No kisses, no affection, fucking nothing but coldness, the same coldness I have dealt with for the past month, feeling so fucking alone.
My jaw ticks re-reading her words, re-reading the lack of affection and love, re-reading the insinuation I’m allowing my mind to conjure up.
Is she fucking someone else?
Is she done with me and the shit Mama keeps trying to cause, the nasty words?
Pain fills my chest as I drop my phone before I hear rustling, and I flinch again, the reminder of what I’ve just done killing me.
My skin itches, yet my cock twitches at the thoughts of my wife, my love.
I feel so fucking conflicted, so confused.
I feel movement behind me before hands slowly go over my shoulders, and the feeling to shove her away consumes me, my drunken state completely gone.
For years, she’s been coming to the clubhouse, hoping to gain my attention, for years fucking brother after brother, all while eyeing me, and not once did I entertain her, until now, at my lowest, when I wasn’t thinking straight.
Virginia slowly skims her lips over my neck, and disgust fills me, but the feeling of affection, one I yearn for, builds.
“Condom,” I state, making the biggest fuck up of my life, but the need to feel someone’s touch is consuming me.
The hurt, the pain, knowing she’s probably with someone else, fills me, and the need to kill is strong but if I kill Ash, then I’ll probably kill myself.
I hear the rustling as Virginia passes me a condom, and I tear the wrapper and place it on my already hardening dick as she comes around me and straddles me then takes me in one.
I don’t see Virginia before me. I see Ashley’s gorgeous bright green eyes, her blonde hair spilling down her shoulders.
I wrap my arm around her waist and help her move up and down, guiding her on my cock, hard and fast, only my wife in my visual as I slam my lips against hers, starting a year-long affair where all I see is my love making the biggest mistake of my life just to feel a connection.