Chapter 5
Trigger
“Anchor, how’s Rebel’s Honeys doing revenue-wise?” Doc asks as he looks at his Road Captain, who is sitting next to me, starting off church.
Anchor leans back in his seat and confirms, “Awesome, customers fill the place every night, the girls are doing what they need to, and the back room is getting more customers as well, revenue is continuing to build and their petty drama continues every day.”
And by back room he means the room where more than a lap dance is given.
Anything from oral to full sex takes place, which is all consensual and not all girls have to do it.
Fuck, none of them have to if they don’t want but which ever girl decides to take someone back there, the club gets forty percent of what they charge each customer.
The price, completely up to them and our bouncers which are usually prospects will stand outside the door to ensure they are safe and that they get paid.
The brothers bang on the oak table in celebration, some laughing at the petty drama comment, and I give a small smile.
I don’t feel like celebrating. I haven’t in a very long time.
I’ve fucked up and honestly, the guilt is fucking killing me despite the little voice in the back of my head reminding me she was seeing someone too.
For a whole year, I fucked Virginia, stopping only when Stone stormed into her room, interrupting us while she was blowing me, making me open my eyes and see, to fucking remember, she wasn’t my wife, the only person I’ve envisioned her being this whole time, not that it makes it any better.
“How would you like me today, Trigger?” Virginia asks as she bites her bottom lip and removes her crop top, her bare tits instantly coming into view, and bile rises at her seductive look.
I didn’t plan on doing this today. I didn’t plan on coming to the club, but seeing Ashley’s phone today, the message, my heart broke even more while anger took hold and instead of confronting her like I should have done from the start, I came to the club.
I grabbed Virginia’s hand, and pulled her to her room while everyone, including my fucking mama, who hated Ash, looked on with disappointment.
I wanted to punish her, to hurt her, which is why every time she’s called since I got to the club, I’ve ignored her, but this woman before me isn’t the one I want. She never has been.
I want my wife, but my wife doesn’t want me, and I fucking can’t let her go. I can’t breathe without her…
“On your knees,” I choke as I unbutton my jeans and pull them down a little, pulling my soft cock out of its confines, my thoughts too fucking scrambled to see how wrong this all is, to see she’ll never be able to satisfy me no matter how much I try imagining her as my girl.
Virginia grins widely as she drops to her knees, the smell of cherries overwhelming me, and I’m struggling to get it up until I look into Virginia’s eyes, and they turn bright green.
Little freckles begin to scatter across her nose, her too-thick lips thinning slightly to natural ones, and my wife is suddenly before me, looking up at me with love and trust.
My dick hardens as I squeeze it before I gently guide it into her mouth, the only person I'm seeing being the woman I love, wishing things were fucking different.
Warm lips that just don’t feel right close around the tip of my cock and sucks me in, right to the back of her throat.
She doesn’t gag, taking me as far as she can reminding me she isn’t Ash, that Ash would have gagged and it would have made my cock twitch. I look down and see Virginia removing her short-shorts while sucking me like a pro and fuck…
I grab her hair and begin to thrust, the image of my wife no longer in my vision, trying to get it back but my cock softens causing frustration to build.
Dammit.
I go to pull back, knowing I won’t get hard again, knowing she’s not my fucking wife, but jump as her door slams open and I panic before suddenly locking eyes with a very fucking pissed off Stone.
My stomach sinks at the disappointment and anger he’s glaring at me with. Fuck, he’s never looked at me like that before.
I quickly pull my jeans up as my heart skyrockets and I snap, “What the fuck, Stone?”
I fucking thought it was Ash. The panic that consumed me says a lot about where I am. Where my heart lies and even though she is nowhere near in the same place as me…
I can’t keep doing this to her, to me.
I can’t continue to act indifferent to the fact that she’s fucking someone else. I thought I could punish her, to hurt her while keeping her joined to me, but it’s fucking killing me.
I can’t breathe.
The guilt, the pain, the need to go on a killing spree with any male she comes into contact with...
“I am fucking disappointed in you!” Stone growls, and my eyes widen as Virginia gasps, but I soon swallow hard as he nods to my phone that fell out when I undid my jeans and sneers, “Your wife tried calling you five fucking times, then Doc, only to have her call ignored. It doesn’t matter what the fuck goes on between you both, if she’s calling you more times than fucking normal, you know you need to answer because it’s probably an emergency.
Instead you allow your whore to continue to suck you off as a fuck you all because she stopped sleeping with you? !”
Wait what emergency?
I frown, and he shakes his head, then tears my world apart as he states, “Your son is crying for his daddy in the medical room with a high fever!”
My stomach drops...No!
“You chose that skank over your own fucking child, and if you’d gone home straight away, you would have known he wasn’t well,” He sneers with disgust.
No, no, no…
Everything inside me tenses, and without a look at either him or Virginia, I rush out of her room with my heart in my throat, pain and worry for my son filling me while the guilt, fuck.
“Trigger, how’s Rebel’s Arts doing?” Doc asks, bringing me out of my stupidity, and I clear my throat as I blink.
The vision of my wife leaving me suddenly hits me, and panic begins to stir, even though I know she won’t leave me for her lover.
She knows I won’t let her go and when I find out who he is, he’s fucking dead, so I tamp down the fear as I address my president.
“Revenue is good, steady,” I state, not adding anything else, and Doc nods slowly while trying to asses me.
Every brother thinks I leave here to go to Virginia’s, believing I’m still fucking her, but that is the thing, I haven’t fucked her since Stone barged into her room, shocking me out of my mind-fucked state.
He casted a vote to get rid of Virginia shortly after, and I didn’t decline the vote and haven’t allowed her anywhere near me or any club property since.
I was using her, picturing my wife every time we had sex, which was maybe two or three times a month, despite what the brothers thought.
She was a hole for me to use so I could believe I was getting the affection, the love from my wife, not wanting to see the reality. While everyone thinks I was sowing my oats, fucking around, catching up with the other brothers but it was further from the truth than they all realize.
They’re aware that I think she cheated, but what they aren’t aware of is that every day I stalk outside the convenience store when she’s supposedly working. Fuck. I called Dad one day and explained I had shit to do and waited all day, and my wife didn’t show up until five in the evening.
So where in the fuck has she been all day, every day?
With her lover… sending me on a rage fit, wanting to kill every mother fucker that could be a target that she speaks to.
“Good,” Doc says, still eyeing me before he looks at Stone and asks, “Rebel’s Phoenix?”
Stone explains the revenue for our dance club, and I zone out again, ignoring everyone around, with Ashley coming back to mind like always.
We haven’t slept together in over two months, and the last time she ran to the bathroom and showered. Before that, it was six months, and again, she showered me off her, breaking my fucking heart.
I thought we were endgame, that she was my forever, that we’d be each other’s only, but I was wrong. Doesn’t mean I’m going to let her go, though.
I’ve spent my whole teenage and the beginning of my adult years loving her, of only wanting her and I may have fucked Virginia for the past year. It was fucking wrong and stupid, but Ash, she is my pixie and I can’t live my life without her.
I just have to communicate with her.
I sigh as I walk towards our home, built behind the clubhouse, an hour later. I decided not to stay for the activities after church and walked out without speaking to anyone. Dad looked at me with disappointment, clearly believing I was going to see Virginia.
I shake my head and make my way down the path, my head down, looking at my feet, my hands in my pockets.
I know Ash is home, Mama was at the club and I think it’s time we both came clean, to figure where shit went fucking wrong even if it means locking us inside until we both fucking speak.
As I begin to plan my next move, I lift my head when I hear my son shout, “Hi, Dad!” and I look towards the house but frown when I don’t see him on the wrap around porch.
Instead he’s sitting inside Ash’s shitty fucking car that she refuses for me to get rid of and I relented because it is her pride and joy that she managed to buy all by herself without her parents, without me or the club.
Though to be fair, her parents would probably have bought her a car with brake failure after they disowned her for choosing me and Cole over them.
So why is she fucking someone else now when she chose you? The voice in my head whispers, but I ignore it, not wanting to divulge into it knowing if I did, I’ll probably kill myself for what I’ve done. I wave to my son in confusion and walk towards the house to find Ashley.
Is she taking him out for food, thinking maybe I wouldn’t be home?
If that is the case, we can change to my truck because she knows I won’t get in that piece of shit.