Chapter 19
Temptation
Carter
He was an idiot for several reasons. First, he was standing on his balcony dressed only in his sweats, and it was windy outside. Second, he was drinking alcohol, judging by the bottle in his hand. Third, he was still limping. And how did I know all that? Because I was standing on my balcony and spying on him.
Not your business. Go to sleep. It’s late.
But I couldn’t do that. He was my partner and my friend. I couldn’t leave him on his own when he obviously had no common sense or brain capacity to take care of himself. I also didn’t want to. That guy just… he got under my skin. No other way to describe it. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and I sure as hell couldn’t leave things between us as they were.
When I knocked on his door, he didn’t look happy.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Doubting my sanity,” I murmured, passing by him and trying not to stare at his bare chest that was just fucking massive.
“Can you do it somewhere else?” he grumbled as I lowered the first-aid kit onto the sofa.
“Gladly. Let me look at your leg, and I’ll be on my merry way. What’s wrong with it, by the way?”
“I hurt my thigh when I fell yesterday while chasing that pimp with Jordan. There was barbed wire lying around on the ground.”
“I hope you didn’t wound anything else,” I mocked. “Imagine the loss for the female population. Male, too.”
He smiled sweetly. “Don’t worry, my dick is working just fine. I can prove it to you if you want.”
My ears warmed, and I cursed myself for saying anything.
“Let me look at your leg,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You annoy me, but a partner without a leg is a liability. Take off your sweats.”
He laughed. “As much as I dreamed of you saying those words to me, I will have to respectfully decline.”
“Don’t be an idiot. Let me tend to your wound.”
“No!” he exclaimed, looking flustered. “I’m not taking off my sweats in front of you. I’ll… I’ll take care of it myself.”
He grabbed the first-aid kit and disappeared into the bathroom as I shook my head in disbelief.
“I never figured you for a shy one. Jeez.”
While he was in the bathroom, I used the opportunity to snoop around. I was sure he did the same while at my place, so I had no qualms about it until I opened the closet and winced at the sight of too many Hawaiian shirts inside. I perused the books on the shelf which were The Step-by-Step Guide to Gun Safety, The Big Book of Salads, and Poems by Neruda. Next to them stood a few issues of Trout & Salmon and The Family Handyman. My wacko partner was either a genius or a psychopath, and I knew he wasn’t a genius. After that, I went through his drawers, cursing my curiosity when I found lube and condoms in one of them.
“Curious about how it works?”
At the sound of a mocking baritone behind me, I closed the drawer with more force than needed.
“I get the gist of it, thanks. And no, I don’t need the details.”
“And how do you get the gist of it?”
I shrugged. “General knowledge. The World Wide Web.”
I could hear him turning on the coffee machine before he asked me, “Coffee, partner?”
“Erm… Yeah, okay.”
I glanced at him, knowing it was time for me to say what I’d rehearsed from the moment he left my car.
“Tye, I’m… I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. I was pissed at Vic, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that, and I apologize. I didn’t mean a single word that I said.”
He glanced at me and said simply, “Okay.”
“Do you forgive me?”
He crossed his arms over his chest, regarding me coolly.
“Maybe. If you give me a kiss.”
I laughed because he was hilarious. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”
“Now it’s two kisses instead of one and in the place of my choosing.”
Was he joking? He didn’t look like it.
He shrugged. “Fine. Suit yourself. Now get the fuck out of my apartment.”
“That’s blackmail,” I exclaimed, pointing out the obvious.
His expression changed. Darkened.
“You hurt me,” Tye said, pointing a finger at me. “I’m not asking you to kiss my dick. I’m asking you to kiss my cheek to make me feel better.”
Well, when he said it like that…
I rolled my eyes and walked up to him, then pecked his scruffy cheek.
“Happy now?”
“Words couldn’t describe it. Want some alcohol with that coffee?”
“Yeah.”
“By the way, you owe me one more kiss. I’ll claim it later.”
I laughed, shaking my head, because he was just… one of a kind.
When he said nothing more, I inspected the photos lying around, all featuring a smiling, red-haired lady and a blond boy next to her.
“Your mother was beautiful. You take after your father, I presume?”
“Hilarious. Incidentally, have you heard from Vic?”
“No,” I replied, settling in the armchair. “I called her, but she’s not picking up. Maybe she really is done with my sorry ass.”
Tye walked up to me and handed me the cup filled with steaming coffee.
“Her loss.”
I looked at him, skipping the Himalaya-sized bare chest to meet the unreadable blue irises. Sapphire blue this time.
“Nah, I deserve it,” I said, feeling resigned. “Maybe I’m not cut out for that shit. Feelings, relationships… all of that.”
“Do you miss her?”
I took a sip of the hot liquid because it was more comfortable than answering his question.
“I don’t know, Tye. Do we have time to miss anyone? In the last two weeks, I have been shot at and punched at. I had to examine two dead bodies, and I killed a few people. I’m probably forgetting something.”
He sat on the sofa across from me and smiled. “You have also been kissed.”
His teasing grin told me he threw this bomb on purpose, but my face heated, nonetheless.
“Sorry, but I forgot all about it,” I said, smiling sweetly. “I guess it wasn’t that memorable.”
His eyes changed color again. “I doubt that.”
He looked like a dog that smelled blood, so I needed a diversion.
“So, how does it feel to be with a guy?”
I whined internally, but I’d already said it. Not that kind of diversion, you moron.
But the fact was, I was curious. Ever since I found out he was bi, I wanted to ask him about it because I couldn’t, for the life of me, imagine him with a man. Then again, I couldn’t imagine him with a woman either. He was too big for the opposite sex. He needed someone big and sturdy who could deal with his size and weight, in my humble opinion.
Tye chuckled. “How does it feel? The same as with a girl, I suppose. Well... no.” He gazed into the distance thoughtfully. “No one asked me that before. It’s quite different, obviously, but it depends more on how you feel about the person than what sex that person is. At least to me. Everyone is different.”
“And do you like women or men more?”
He lowered his gaze and blew on his coffee.
“Men, probably.”
There was something about his answer that told me he was hiding something.
“Why?”
He grinned. “Not to sound crude, but probably because I like a dick more.”
“Oh, for the love of God!” I exclaimed, standing up and heading to the kitchen. “Do you have to be so—?”
“Well, you asked.”
“And now I regret it.”
I poured myself a glass of water when he spoke.
“What about you, Saint Carter? Have you ever questioned your sexuality?”
That was easy.
“No.”
“Have you ever been attracted to a man?”
It took me a second longer to reply.
“No,” I said, returning to the armchair. “Of course not.”
He smiled. “Well, then you have it all figured out. Unlike the rest of us.”
The rest of us.
I made a face, fighting off memories, but they were here to stay.
“Raj was gay, you know?” I said, staring into the distance.
He didn’t look surprised. “I figured.”
“I knew him for three years. We have been through thick and thin, inseparable like brothers. I trusted him. I loved him. And then, on the night he died, he started talking. He told me he was gay and that he was in love with me. I didn’t give a fuck if he was gay or not, but I was furious with him for hiding his true feelings from me. I felt betrayed, as if he only pretended to be my friend. His confession made me angry, but worse than that, it made me late. Two minutes too late. It was how long it took for me to compose myself after he’d left the car to investigate the movement across the street. Two minutes that I will regret for the rest of my life, because after I finally caught up with him, he was already dead.”
“His death is not on you, Carter,” Tye said with a sigh. “It’s on the asshole who pushed him off the building. I’m sure you know that because you’re too smart not to know it. Regarding that other thing…” He paused, staring at the floor. “It’s very difficult to confess your feelings to someone who might not return them. More so if your sexual orientation is different, and especially if it’s someone you care about deeply. Someone you truly value. Someone… unlike anyone else.”
I frowned, feeling a strange pang in my heart, because I couldn’t imagine anyone deserving him.
“Have you ever felt something like that?” I asked him.
He was silent for a few moments before looking at me.
“No. I have not.”
Thorsen
No, I have not.
I would probably regret those words for the rest of my life, but I couldn’t take them back. They were the perfect ending in the sad chapter of my life called “Never Fall in Love with a Straight Guy,” but I couldn’t let go of Dominic Carter just yet.
So, I told him to stay so we could look at the crime scene photos together again. An excuse, because I wanted to spend more time with him. After that, I offered to make dinner because I had leftovers from lunch. A lie. I made a quickie risotto while he was on the phone with John Smith. During dinner, we chatted about inconsequential stuff, trying to forget the crime scenes and the dead people and the wounds healing on our bodies. We tried not to think about the lost friends and the lost opportunities. We were just two guys hanging out and having a good time.
After dinner, I suggested we watch a movie together to forget about things. A deflection. Another excuse. Another lie. We settled on the bed in my bedroom because the TV in the living room wasn’t working. I was staring at the TV with my head resting in his lap, which he allowed only because “your leg hurts, and you might die.” Still, the photos of Sophie Malik and Roxie Brokowich kept swirling in my mind. I tried to make sense of it all, but how to make sense of what was ultimately senseless—taking a human life?
“Something is wrong with these two cases, Carter,” I said, turning my head to look at him. “We’re missing something.”
He looked away from the TV, and his eyes found mine.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, combing his fingers through my hair absentmindedly. “Sophie Malik is the answer. I just know it.”
It was the one thing that made my life less miserable—his hand in my hair and the way he did it—so spontaneously, so… unaware of his actions. It made the words I was about to say die in my throat. I need to tell you something, Dominic.
When his phone rang, Carter turned on the speaker with his free hand while running his fingers through my hair.
“John?”
“It’s bad, Carter. Physically, nothing we haven’t seen before. Psychologically, it’s disturbing. This guy didn’t make a cut on her body without thinking about it first. I never saw something like this before.”
“Can you send us the photos? Or whatever you have ready?”
“Will do. And say hello to Tye for me.”
“I will.”
When Carter hung up, he looked as bad as I felt. I opened my mouth to speak when he jumped out of bed with a loud, “Fuuuuck!”
He opened the window and yanked off his T-shirt, then catapulted it in the corner of the room.
“It must be a hundred degrees outside. What kind of September is that?” he growled.
I was out of bed in an instant.
“Steady, partner,” I said, knowing it wasn’t the heat that bothered him or my AC not working. It was the case.
Trying not to stare at his tattooed body, I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Calm down. Breathe.”
He shook his head in frustration, but my presence seemed to calm him a bit.
“How are you always so cool?” he said with a voice that slightly trembled.
“I just hide it better, Dominic.”
He seemed as if he was still kind of… simmering inside.
“It’s only a matter of time before we catch him,” I said, watching his strained expression. “You’re smart, and I’m smarter. We’ll get him sooner or later.”
He frowned, looking at me over his shoulder. “Wait, did you just say you’re smarter than me?”
“Well, you’re the pretty one,” I murmured, sliding my finger down the line of dark hair below his belly button. “Which means I’m the smart one.”
“Not if you don’t remove your hand, you’re not,” Carter said, chuckling. “And I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to distract me, so I don’t lose my shit.” He hooked his finger around mine and pulled it away from his happy trail, but he let our fingers intertwine. “You’re also wrong.”
“Oh? What about?” I said, as he turned, and his teasing jungle green gaze found my eyes.
“I bet those baby blues of yours have charmed more than one unsuspecting victim,” Carter said, grinning. “And that hair…” He raised his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Damn…”
Fuck. Me.
I was about to shove my tongue down his throat, consequences be damned, when a shrill trumpet blast made me flinch.
“The fuck?” I murmured and looked out the open window, keeping our fingers interlaced.
Carter chuckled. “Oh, it’s our neighbor, Adalberto, getting married. He’s Portuguese. The music the band is playing is called fado, but this is the modern version of a more traditional folk music.”
I grinned. “I like it. It’s very—”
Carter shook his head as if he could read my mind. “No.”
“Danceable.”
I snaked my arm around his waist and pulled him toward me before he could stop me. When our bare chests bumped into each other, he rolled his eyes, but his hand already rose to meet mine.
“This is crazy,” he said with a sigh. “Do you have any idea how ridiculous we probably look?”
“Two tired, burned-out cops dancing to fado in honor of Adalberto’s long and prosperous marriage? Of course not.”
My reply made him laugh, and his laugh made me grin.
“You have a beautiful smile,” I said, caressing his waist. “You should smile more often.”
“Not a lot to smile about in this town,” he murmured, staring into the distance.
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Fucking Shitsville.”
“Smitsville,” he corrected me with a grin.
“Same thing.”
We kept dancing in silence. When I closed my eyes, he did the same, and I knew it because his movements slowed down. When my cheek grazed his, he didn’t pull away but let out a soft sigh as we kept moving to the rhythm of the music.
“By the way, what is this cologne you’re wearing?” I asked him, inhaling his scent greedily. “You smell amazing.”
“I’m not wearing any.”
Of course not. Why wouldn’t he smell divine without the cosmetic products to help him? He already looked perfect, felt perfect… Why wouldn’t he smell perfect?
“Tye, can I ask you something?”
I looked at him, intrigued by his tone.
“Of course.”
He bit his lip, seemingly hesitant. “It’s just stupid curiosity, but… do you have, like, a type or something?”
His question made me miss a step. Where did that come from?
“What do you mean? Like, in a guy?”
He nodded. “A girl, too. I’m curious.”
I gulped. “I told you what my type is.”
What was it again? Ginger and short? Or auburn and tall? I couldn’t remember.
He laughed. “Yeah, but you lied.”
Fuck.
I debated with myself on how to answer him, only to realize it was my opportunity to come clean. Or at least, cleaner.
“Truth?” I said, cocking my eyebrows.
He nodded.
“You are my type,” I said, keeping my eyes on those jungle greens.
His cheeks turned pink, but he kept his poker face.
“Should I be flattered?”
I grinned despite my heart pounding in my chest like crazy. “With those two left feet… hell, yes!”
He burst into laughter. “You’re a funny guy.”
“You’re not. But you’re pretty, so you have that going for you.”
His eyes twinkled mischievously. “What else do I have going for me in case I decide to re-enter the dating pool?”
Over my dead body.
“I’m not giving you compliments because you hurt me today,” I said, raising my hand and spinning him around. “Speaking of, I want that kiss now.”
He frowned in feigned confusion. “What kiss?”
“I don’t appreciate the teasing, Dominic,” I threatened. “Kiss me. Now. And make it good. I want to know that you meant it.”
“God, you’re such a child,” he said, rolling his eyes and pecking my cheek. “There. Happy now?”
“It doesn’t count,” I said, trying hard not to laugh. “I said it has to be in the place of my choosing.”
I was fucking with him, but I deserved it after everything he’d said to me today.
“I’m not kissing your dick if that’s what you’re thinking,” he mumbled, looking both outraged and offended. “I wasn’t that rude.”
I grinned. “It didn’t even cross my mind, but I’m glad that your mind is in the gutter.”
He blushed as I caressed his cheek. “I’m just teasing you, cher.”
“Where do you want it then?” he blurted, looking determined. “I’m a man of my word.”
I smiled and pointed my finger at my lips. I knew he wouldn’t do it, but I couldn’t resist messing with him.
“No way!” Carter exclaimed, red in the face. “You’re doing this only to get back at me.”
I shrugged. “Have it your way, man of your word.”
He gazed into the distance, and it took me a few moments to realize he was actually thinking about it. I could see it on his flushed face. In the way his nostrils flared. In the stubborn look in his eyes.
Fuck me. He’s not really going to do it, is he?
The thought alone was preposterous, but the way he looked at me told me I may have got it all wrong.
“If you say this to anyone, Thorsen, I’ll kill you. If you remind me it happened, I’ll kill you. If you mention it ever again, I’ll kill you. Have I made myself clear?”
I swallowed with difficulty. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
I was sure he was fucking with me when he leaned in and pecked my lips, so abruptly I could barely process it.
“Happy now?”
I fought to keep my eyes open, because fuck me.
Fuck me.
“I wasn’t ready,” I mumbled, because—what the fuck just happened?
“Tough shit,” Carter said, looking at me incredulously. “I’m not doing it again.”
I pulled him toward me so swiftly his body bumped into mine because I didn’t want him to see my face. My mind was in a whirl because… what the fuck just happened? What did he just do? And why? Yeah, it was a dare, but… a fucking dare? No, no, no, this was huge. Was he aware that what he just did crossed the line of friendship, or heterosexuality for that matter? Since he was gnawing at his lip, all red in the face, the same thoughts probably occupied his mind. Was he curious about things? Was that why he did it? Or maybe he wanted to make fun of me? Tease me? Get back at me? God, what?
To test the waters, I pulled him closer to me, expecting him to resist it, but he merely rearranged his arm around my neck. When our bare chests touched, he tensed up, but he didn’t pull away. I could feel his pecs against mine, his hard nipples grazing my skin. And I knew he felt it too because his breathing quickened, as did mine.
Something was happening between us. No doubt about it. And now I finally dared to ask, fuck, when did it not?
“Wrap your arms around my neck,” I said hoarsely, expecting him to refuse, only to feel his arms closing around me.
Fuck. Is this really happening?
“Does this feel good?” I asked him, caressing his back.
He merely nodded, making my breath hitch in my throat.
Do something.
“I like this,” I murmured. “I like to dance with you, Dom.”
When I realized he wasn’t running for the hills, I kept doing whatever I was doing, and it felt as if I was putting my life on the line. Literally, it was live or die for me.
“I like to hold you like this,” I whispered in his ear. “I like to feel your body against mine.”
I kissed his earlobe before wrapping my teeth around it and giving it a small, teasing tug that made him gasp. At that point, we stopped dancing. We just stood there with our arms wrapped around each other. A point of no return. I never fully understood that expression until that very moment.
“Don’t think,” I said, ignoring my heart that was five seconds away from bursting out of my chest. “Just feel.”
Fuck it. Like any self-respectable gambler, I was all in. My chips were in the middle of the table, and that pot was delectable, if slightly too quiet.
Just push me away. Tell me to fuck off.
But he wouldn’t. He just stood there, giving me everything and nothing.
Ignoring the pre-cum soaking my briefs, I tilted my head to look at him, but he lowered his gaze.
“Dominic,” I whispered, needing to see his face. “Please, look at me.”
He wouldn’t.
“Dom, please,” I murmured, cupping his jaw. “Regarde-moi.”
I was multilingual, but I knew that no language in the world could make him speak if he didn’t want to. And he didn’t want to.
Fuck.
I tipped his chin up with my finger, making him look at me, and this time, surprisingly, he let me. Jungle greens met my gaze. Golden. Hot. Panicky.
Without a thought in my head, I brushed my lips against his. With my heart in my throat. With my life on the line. He sucked in a sharp breath, looking as if he had trouble keeping his eyes open, but he didn’t pull away. I glanced at him before giving his lips another soft, teasing brush. When his eyes closed, I parted his lips with my thumb and pressed my mouth to his.
For a moment, we were both motionless. For a moment, neither of us breathed. Then our lips moved against each other. I half-way expected them to stop, but out lips kept moving… kissing. We were kissing.
Wait, did Dominic Carter just kiss me back? And just like that, my world exploded. And just like that, I lost it. Attribute it to the lack of sleep, heartache, or stupidity, but, like a caveman, I shoved him against the wall and pressed my erection against his. He flinched and gasped, and I should have backed off then, but his dick was so hard I couldn’t stop to think. I cupped his face, desperately searching for his tongue with mine, when he pushed me away with such force I crashed into the cabinet behind me.
“No!” he said hoarsely.
And then I heard banging on my door.
And then it was all over.
“Tye? Is Carter here? I need to talk to him.”
It was Bruce. What the fuck was he doing here at this hour?
“I’m here,” I muttered, rearranging the massive bulge in my sweats as Carter picked up his T-shirt from the floor. He headed to the door, using the T-shirt to hide his crotch.
“What?” he grumbled after opening the door and taking the file Bruce gave him.
“This just came in from New Mesa. Chief Bibb wanted you to see it right away. They had a similar murder a few weeks ago.”
Behind them, I could see Shelly staring at Carter’s tattooed torso, agape.
“Come with me,” Carter said. “I’ll take a look.”
Bruce waved at me before they both left, while Shelly entered my apartment, looking stunned. When she spotted the rumpled bed in the bedroom, she looked at me in disbelief.
“No way.”
“Nothing happened,” I said, pouring us both a drink because I knew she wouldn’t refuse one.
“But he’s half-naked,” she stammered. “You’re half-naked. What—?”
“We were working on the case and fell asleep. That’s all.”
“You were working on the case in your bed, half-naked?”
I shrugged my shoulders as she raised her glass and drained it.
“Damn, Tye,” she said, slamming the glass on the countertop. “You move fast.”
I snorted. “No one’s moving anywhere.”
“So, nothing happened?”
“Nothing to write home about,” I lied. “With the honorable exception of the night when—”
“When what?”
I had to give her something, and besides, I was dying to tell someone.
“You remember how Carter and I went to Nirvana to look for Luz? Anyway, when we got there, The Bomber showed up.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, shit. So, to create a diversion, I… kinda… well… I had to think on my feet, so I… erm… kissed him.”
She frowned in confusion. “You kissed The Bomber?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, silly. I kissed Carter.”
“Get out of here!” she exclaimed, wide-eyed. “You kissed Carter and lived to tell the tale?”
I nodded, feeling just a little proud.
“In the mouth?”
“Yes.”
“With a tongue?”
I snorted. “Of course. Who do you take me for?”
“Wow,” she mouthed, reaching for the bottle and refilling our glasses. “Holy shit! So… what did he do?”
“He punched me in the face and pulled a gun on me.”
She burst into laughter. “Yeah. That sounds like Carter. And then what?”
I shrugged. “And then nothing. We talked it through, and now we’re pretending it never happened.”
“Nah, something doesn’t add up here,” she mused. “I’m going to talk to Carter and get to the bottom of it.”
“No, Shel. Please. Just leave it alone.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
After she left, I collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling. So, I officially fucked it up. Tomorrow, Carter was either going to shoot me on sight or never talk to me again. And at the moment, I preferred a bullet over silence.
Fuck, we almost kissed. He almost let me.
I could still smell him on me. I could still feel every hard inch of his body against mine, including the swollen inches between his legs. God, when our dicks grazed, I almost came.
I bit into my fist, hyperventilating because I couldn’t take it anymore. The accidental touches, the hugs, the fucking teasing. He had to be aware of it on some level. I just… I had to fuck this guy. I had to have him. Not just have him. Own him, possess him, make him mine. Make him as addicted to me as I was addicted to him. I needed us like we were tonight. Dancing, laughing, kissing. More than that. Making sweet love, fucking, rutting, licking, sucking, anything… because I needed to fucking come. I needed to fucking… I yanked at my sweats, pulling them down just before my cock spilled.
“God!” I gasped, bucking in my tight grip. “Motherfucker.”
I bit my tongue to stop myself from shouting while coming all over the sheet. In my mind, I was spurting all over his ass. Hell, I was spurting into that ass, balls-deep inside him. I was filling that ass with my semen, and in my mind, he was begging for it.
A bit more, Tye… Give me a bit more. Fill my ass, Tye.
“I’m filling it, baby,” I groaned, releasing another powerful spurt. “I’m filling your sweet ass.”
When I was done, I licked the semen off my palm and curled up into a fetal position, shaking like an alcoholic during alcohol withdrawal. I blinked a few times to clear the dark spots in my vision because I came so hard that I almost blacked out. I came so hard I almost forgot he rejected me. Then fatigue took over, like the one you get after a good fuck, when your bones just kind of melt and you turn limp. After that, I fell asleep in the pool of my semen, dreading the arrival of a new day.