Chapter 24
Small Beginnings
Carter
“Isn’t it funny how it turned out that Mayor Boggs and Daddy are old friends?” Vic said, putting the diamond earring into her ear.
I hummed noncommittally. All I could think about was how I would see Tye tonight, and I hadn’t seen him since he came back from New Mesa two weeks ago. I was nervous about it, but I promised Shelly I would come to her birthday party, and besides, being a coward didn’t sit well with me. And I turned into one after getting back with Vic, but it seemed that I was too old for change. Maybe even too scared because I couldn’t keep Tye at a distance like everyone else, and it made me feel as vulnerable as if I was facing the barrel of a gun. You’re also scared because you’re attracted to a dick. A voice in my head informed me, and maybe it was right, too.
In any case, when Vicky came back from Switzerland, pretending as if nothing ever happened, I took the easy way out. I didn’t want to say it to Tye over the phone, so I waited for him to come home, but it only made a bigger mess of things.
“You did good when you cut ties with him,” Vic said, not stating who “he” was because we both knew. “If Mayor Boggs says he’s bad news, you should definitely steer clear of him.”
The reason I hadn’t seen Tye for two weeks wasn’t because I’d cut ties with him but because he refused to talk to me. Also, Chief Bibb put him on a case with Adam and Jordan, and they went to Grangetown for two weeks. They temporarily joined their task force, something to do with the cartel smuggling drugs across the border.
Vic walked up to me, looking great as always in a red Dior dress and golden strap sandals. She was probably a bit overdressed for the occasion, but that was her thing.
“You’re very handsome, but I don’t like it when you lose weight. It means you’re stressed out.” She stood on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear. “Maybe we can deal with your stress later tonight.”
I shivered, but not in a good way. Yeah, no. Our sex life has been stale for months, and I felt no need to change it. And it was a bad thing. A futureless thing, but I was a futureless guy, so I guess it suited me. I even read somewhere online that she hooked up with some guy in the Alps or wherever the hell she’d been. Did I care? For that second only, and it was mostly my bruised ego that cared. The rest of me was numb.
When we finally reached Shelly’s flat, the party was already in full swing. Everyone from the department seemed to be there, and I could see all the familiar faces except one. I didn’t know whether to feel happy or miserable about it when Shelly came to welcome us, already half-drunk.
“Didn’t you two break up?” she blurted, her gaze darting from Vic to me. Her red hair was tied into a messy ponytail, and she smelled as if she hadn’t showered for a few days.
Vic smiled sweetly. “Of course not. What a silly thing to say. We were just separated for a while. It was like a couple’s therapy.”
“A therapy?” Bruce repeated, appearing next to her. “Sounds interesting. Vicky, you look amazing tonight.”
She looked at him with distaste, only to smile widely when she spotted someone behind him.
“Tye! I’m so glad to see you again.”
My heart dropped to the fucking ground—just like that. I could almost see it there, lying between a cigarette butt and an empty beer can.
“Hey, Vic.” A low voice rumbled.
He was standing behind me. I knew his exact position because I got goosebumps on that part of my body. And I could smell him—that good, indescribable scent of his that always made me gulp air like a fish on dry land.
“Carter,” Tye said in passing, but his voice was colder than a glacier in Alaska.
“Thorsen.”
I tried to act indifferent, but that numb part of me… it wasn’t numb at all. And those feelings that I thought were gone weren’t gone either. They were bubbling in my gut. Stabbing at my chest. Burning in my groin.
I kept my gaze on the floor while Shelly and Vic talked, but I could feel the blue glare from across the room. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I looked up and found that glare. Frosty blue this time. And as we stared at each other, the room around me disappeared. The voices and the noise faded too, apart from my heart thumping in my chest like crazy.
“Isn’t that right, Carter?”
I forced a smile and nodded at Vic, although I had no idea what she’d said. After a few moments, I excused myself and went in search of some hard liquor. When I found a bottle of scotch, I drank more than I should have, hoping it would make me feel better. Ruth from HR stood beside me and rambled on about workplace politics, but I barely heard her. I was searching for that frosty blue glare because even that glare of fury was better than cold indifference. But I couldn’t find it.
I could see Chief Bibb and his wife playing canasta with Bruce. I could see Adam hitting on Vic, who had to be drunk because she kept giggling at his jokes, and the man had no sense of humor. I could see Shelly eating the cake with her fingers, probably because she was too wasted to find a fork.
When I noticed the movement on the balcony, I headed there, colliding with the furniture that kept appearing in my way. I was about to step outside when I heard a familiar voice.
“I thought you were asexual,” Tye said to whoever, sounding amused.
The other person spoke next, and I realized it was Jordan.
“I also said I was a pathological liar. You shouldn’t believe everything I say.”
Tye chuckled. “That’s not a very smart thing to say when you’re hitting on someone, don’t you think?”
That little shit was hitting on him? No way!
I peeked behind the curtain, only to see them next to the railing, standing close to each other. Why the fuck were they standing so close to each other?
“Besides,” Tye added. “I’m not the one you really want, am I?”
Jordan shrugged, raising his hand to caress Tye’s chest. I reached for my gun, only to realize I didn’t have it on me.
“We can’t always get what we want, can we, Tye?”
Tye’s smile disappeared from his face.
“You know it better than anyone,” Jordan continued. “That’s why I’m proposing this to you. Bathroom. Now. I’ll suck you off, and then you can suck me off. Yes, or no?”
I didn’t wait for Tye’s reply. I merely walked up to them and punched the little shit square in the jaw.
The rest of it was a blur. I could remember Jordan falling to the ground and my fists hitting his face. I could remember Tye’s arms closing around me and pulling me off him. He held me firmly, one arm across my chest, the other across my waist, while his erection throbbed against my ass. And everything was spinning around me. The night sky was beneath my feet, and the balcony floated above my head. The stars danced around me. It was probably why I didn’t see Adam’s fist slamming into my face.
“You fucking asshole!” he bellowed before punching me in the gut. “Look what you did to him.”
“I’m fine,” Jordan mumbled, scrambling to his feet. “It’s my fault. I said something I shouldn’t have.”
Then the strong arms let go of me and I saw Tye punching Adam in the face. He sent him flying through the balcony door before Adam landed on the living room floor, taking the curtains with him. Gasps and screams filled the room as I stumbled drunkenly inside, facing Vic’s wide-eyed, incredulous stare. Chief Bibb was yelling something and raising his fist in the air. His wife was crying next to him. Tye grabbed Adam by the lapels and hit him in the gut, mumbling, “I told you not to mess with him, dickhead.” Jordan threw himself at Tye, hitting his back and pulling at his hair, but Adam still got another punch in the face.
“Enough!”
At the sound of Shelly’s blood-curdling scream, everyone went silent. You could hear a pin drop as everyone turned to look at her. And she stood in the middle of the room with a chocolate-smeared face, an empty bottle in her hand, and tears streaming down her face.
“It’s my party,” she said, sobbing. “And I can cry if I want to.”
Then she fell to the floor and passed out.
Thorsen
Seeing a grown man cry wasn’t a pretty sight, especially if you were a mean, big, muscular S.O.B. like me. Still, it was what I did after I’d returned from New Mesa because the man I wanted didn’t give a shit about me.
The man I wanted. God, want had nothing to do with it. Sure, I wanted to fuck him six ways to Sunday and hear him say my fucking name, please, and thank you, but it was more than that. Wanted. Liked. Loved. I tried all those words on my tongue, hoping to find the one corresponding to my feelings. In the end, I distilled it into two things. Love and misery.
I spent two weeks trying not to think about him. I hung out with people who mostly annoyed me, working on a case I didn’t care about. My absence from Shitsville made me feel as if I’d betrayed Sophie Malik, Roxie Brokowich, and all the other victims. The killer went underground, and every clue we followed turned out to be a dead end.
And two weeks later, here I was, in the same hell… watching Dominic Carter with someone else. I never hurt a woman in my life, but to see his hand on Vic’s waist made me want to slam my fist into a wall. As far as Carter was concerned, I mostly avoided that damn hypocrite or tried to, but my eyes kept finding him. Watching him. Feasting on him.
I was so desperate that I promised myself I would fuck someone tonight. A man, a woman, it didn’t matter. I just wanted the pain in my chest to go away. So, when Jordan came to me with his indecent proposal, I almost laughed. Still, I couldn’t do it. My heart wasn’t in it because it was too busy pining after a man who would never return my feelings.
Then all hell broke loose, Shelly had a nervous breakdown, and the chief threatened to fire us all. After that, everyone just sort of… dispersed.
I was collecting the broken glass from the living room floor when Vicky had a fit of her own.
“What has gotten into you?” I heard her yelling at Carter. “Hitting people like a common ruffian? Engaging in drunken brawls? Embarrassing me like this? And you…” When she fixed me with an icy stare, I paused in whatever I was doing.
“It’s all your fault, isn’t it?”
I blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, cut the bullshit, Tye,” Vic said, rolling her eyes. “You’re always here… lurking about. Scheming. You want something, and I can feel it. Other than that, you’re nothing but a bad influence.”
She was perceptive. I had to give her that.
“Vic, stop,” Carter said with a sigh. “This is all my fault. Tye had nothing to do with it.”
Vic laughed, looking around the room. “And the rest of them… these are the people you socialize with. Bullies… losers… not to mention that red-haired, duplicitous drunk.”
“Vic!” Carter exclaimed, but it was too late. At that moment, Shelly stepped out of the bathroom. Her eyes zeroed in on Vicky, narrowing into dangerous little slits. “What did you call me?”
I jumped in front of Shelly and pulled her into a bear hug—of a restraining kind. It didn’t stop her from kicking and screaming, though.
“What the fuck did you call me, you obnoxious, rich bimbo? If someone is duplicitous, it’s you, you vile, hateful, despicable… slut!”
“How dare you?” Vicky gasped in outrage. “Who are you calling a slut, you inebriated, disgusting…”
“Enough!” Carter shouted. “Not one more word, Vic.”
She looked at him as if he had grown another head.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. You’re being rude to my friends, and I won’t have it.”
“Your friends?” Vicky yelled with tears streaming down her face. “Oh, that’s rich. You know what? I have had it with you, Carter! You are not the man I thought you were, not by a long shot. In fact, you and your bunch of creeps deserve each other. Screw you all!”
I didn’t hear his answer, but the door slamming on her way out told me she didn’t like it.
So that was that. A shitty end to an already shitty evening. I was tired, heartbroken, drunk, and horny, not necessarily in that order. I cleaned up the hall that looked as if it had been ravaged by a tornado while Carter put Shelly to bed.
“She cheated on you.” I heard Shelly say to him in a drunken slur. “Vicky cheated on you when she was in Sweden… Swizland… wherever she was.”
“Shh,” Carter shushed her, not sounding surprised. “It’s okay. Just lie down and breathe deep.”
“I didn’t want to tell you, Carter,” Shelly continued, hiccupping. “Because I love… I love you, you know? And because… it’s… where are my socks? She and this rich guy… a tennis player or some shit… and it makes me sick… because she doesn’t deserve you, Carter.”
You deserve someone who deserves you.
I left then, reluctant to hear more. Why were we all hurting? Shelly, Carter, me? Was there anything left in this world but pain?
After I took out the trash, I came back to a silent apartment, except for Shelly’s snoring. I opened the bathroom door, only to stop in my tracks when I saw Carter. His shirt was torn, probably from wrestling with Adam, revealing his tattooed chest. He had a bloody cotton ball stuck in one nostril, and a big, purple bruise graced his otherwise perfect cheek.
When his jungle greens met my gaze in the mirror, I realized I was staring.
“Sorry,” I muttered, turning to leave. “I didn’t know you were still here.”
“No, stay,” he said, taking the cotton ball out of his nose. “I’m done here, anyway.”
Avoiding his eyes, I walked up to the sink, observing my reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t that bad. My right eye was swollen, but nothing I couldn’t live with. The same could be said for a gash on my forehead that didn’t look all that bad if you ignored a piece of glass sticking out of it.
“Jesus!” Carter exclaimed, approaching me. “You can’t walk around like that. Do you want to bleed out?”
Bleeding out sounded like an acceptable option, but I let him patch me up anyway. I stayed still as he pulled the glass out of my wound so gently that I barely felt it.
“Does it hurt?”
Not like my heart, you fucking monster.
I shook my head, eyeing him as he rummaged through the first-aid kit. And he looked as miserable as I felt. Exhausted. Hopeless. Trapped. It made me hate him a tad less.
“I’m sorry,” he said while tending to my wound, but I knew he didn’t mean my face. “I fucked up. I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions, and I handled things badly.”
“Yeah, you did.” I was hurting too much to sugarcoat it.
“You make me feel things, Tye. Things I don’t understand and maybe don’t want to feel. On the other hand, you see me for who I really am, and I want to honor that as well.”
“You’re leading me on, Dom,” I said, not bothering to hide my frustration. “You think you aren’t, but you are. And it’s not fair to me. All this hot and cold shit is messing with my mind.”
“I know.”
“I’m sure you noticed that…” I paused, trying to find the right words. “We’re touching each other all the time, Dominic. And it’s not accidental, as much as we pretend otherwise. When we end up in the same bed, we fall asleep in each other’s arms. I can’t keep my hands away from you, and I have a feeling it’s reciprocated, but this shit has to stop if you want us to be friends.”
The crumbs. I was taking the crumbs, and I despised myself for it. Friends. What a crock of shit.
He nodded. “I know. And I will stop.”
I laughed without mirth. “Is there a button that helps you do that? Then please tell me where it is so I can push it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” I said with a sigh, tired of the damn conversation that made my heart bleed. “It’s fine. In fact, it’s probably better this way.”
He removed the gauze from my temple, looking at me solemnly. “You’re my friend, Tye, and I can’t lose that. I can’t lose you.”
How about friends with benefits? It was the one option I hadn’t mentioned yet, wary of another rebuttal.
When he chuckled, I looked at him in confusion.
“Your hair has grown since I last saw you,” he said, combing his fingers through my hair. “It looks good on you.”
It was a badly timed compliment. And he was touching me again.
I glanced towards the door, needing to get out of there, when he put his hand on my chest.
“Are we good?”
“Yes,” I said, because ultimately, I would take him any way I could get him.
He nodded, relaxing visibly. “Friends?”
I bit my bottom lip, not knowing what to say, when he used his thumb to pull my lip from under my teeth.
“You’ll hurt yourself,” he said with an awkward smile, as if it explained everything. As if it justified him fucking touching me again.
I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling exasperated and, honestly, angry. I prided myself on my willpower, but I was running out of it.
“You’re touching me again, Dom.”
Something crossed his face. Confusion, annoyance, remorse… maybe even stubbornness.
“I know,” he said, averting his gaze. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I missed you.”
In a moment of weakness, I stepped toward him and rested my forehead on his.
“I missed you, too,” I said with a sigh. “But when you touch me, you hurt me, Dom. You hurt me because I want more than you can give me. You make my heart ache, and you make my dick hard. You make me unhappy, Dom. And honestly… I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
“Please,” he whispered, pale in the face. “I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. I’ll make this work. I swear, I will.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You can’t make this work, Carter. You want us to hang around, and I want us to fuck. I’m sorry to sound crude, but these are the facts. We want different things. There’s no middle ground for us. No…” I rested my hands on my hips, shaking my head in helpless frustration. “I’m going to…” The idea alone hurt. The idea alone felt as if someone stabbed me and then twisted the knife in my heart. “I’m going to ask for a transfer.”
His eyes flashed in anger, like two jungle green lightnings in the stormy sky.
“No!”
“I’m not going to survive this,” I said, trying to make him understand. “I won’t survive you. This is not casual to me. This is not—”
Before I could finish the sentence, he grabbed me by the lapels and slammed me into a wall. “I said no, and I meant fucking no!”
I looked at him incredulously. “I’m not sticking around to watch you with another woman, Carter. I saw enough of that shit. No, I’m—”
“You’re not leaving!”
“Do you want to watch me with another man?”
At my question, he loosened his grip on me and frowned. “Wha… what?”
“You haven’t thought this through, pal. Or did you think I would become a monk for you?”
“Don’t talk to me about the other… other…”
“You can’t even say it,” I said, laughing bitterly. “Other man. Say it. Other men.”
“Oh, fuck off, Tye!”
I grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him against the wall until our positions were reversed.
“No, you fuck off!” I said through my teeth. “You. Refused. Me. So get your head out of your ass, climb off that high horse, and get the hell out of this bathroom with your tail between your legs. Because if you don’t, I swear to God, I will ram my dick up your ass so hard the neighbors will know it.”
“You presumptuous, self-righteous prick!” Carter growled, slapping my hands away. “You will get near my ass when hell freezes over, you arrogant, delusional—”
I laughed. “Delusional? You get a boner every time I look at you, and you think your ass would be a challenge? You’re practically begging me to bend you over, Saint Carter, not that you would ever admit it to yourself.”
“The only person bending over will be you, you sanctimonious prick, but only if you grow a pussy and a brain. How stupid do you think I am? Ooh, you have a pretty smile, Carter. Ooh, you smell amazing, Carter. Did you really think the pick-up lines you practiced on petty criminals and dopeheads would work on me?”
I smiled sweetly. “Oh, they would work on you, brother, if you had a heart and a spine. But you never had the former, and Vicky cured you of the latter.”
He wrapped his hand around my throat, his eyes flashing dangerously. “You know what? I finally figured out how to shut you up. Since you like them tall, dark, and with a big dick, I have the perfect cure for your mouthiness.”
“Are you threatening me with your dick, Saint Carter?” I bit out, wheezing. “Because if you are, then shove that big boy down my throat. If you dare.”
“Oh, I dare, because you have no idea who you are dealing with,” Carter growled. “Now take back what you said and apologize.”
I snorted. “Never.”
“I hoped you would say that. Gag reflex? Yes, or no?”
“It’s your lucky day.”
At the sound of a loud crash in the distance, we both flinched, just as Carter uttered an alarmed, “Shelly!”
Fuck, but we were two selfish bastards.
We ran out of the bathroom, only to find Shelly on the floor, lying in the pool of her vomit. We took her to the bathroom and made her take a cold shower, clothes and all, until she came to her senses. I helped her change into dry clothes after she whispered in my ear that she was too shy for Carter to do it. In the meantime, Carter made her some coffee.
After I put her to bed and returned to the living room, I found Carter sitting on the sofa and staring at the wall.
“She lost custody of her daughter,” Carter said without looking at me. “Because of the booze, but only partly. Her asshole ex-husband made her look like a monster in court. That’s why she’s like this lately. She’s spiraling, and I don’t know how to help her.”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m staying here,” I said, dragging my hand down my face. “I’m not leaving Shel alone. She’s not in the right state of mind.”
Carter nodded. “Yeah. I’ll stay too.”
“I reckon we can sleep here,” I mused, looking at the huge pull-out sofa under him. “After all, this is ?ldvalen. It needs a proper challenge. You weigh… what? Two hundred pounds? Me, a bit more than that. Hopefully, we won’t owe Shelly a new sofa come morning.”
“It looks sturdy enough.”
What a damn mess this evening was. I wasn’t drunk enough. I didn’t get laid. I failed on all accounts. Well, almost all of them, which reminded me of something.
“How is Adam, by the way? I think I fucked him up.”
Carter snorted. “That guy has nine lives. Don’t worry about him. He was just making a show for Jordan’s sake because that guy is the only one who can stand him.”
I sat down next to him with a resigned sigh.
“By the way, I think we suck at that friendship thing.” I informed him of the obvious.
He chuckled. “No shit.”
Well, at least we were on the same page. For the first time ever, maybe.
A few moments of silence ensued, apart from my heart pounding in my chest like a drum gone berserk. It made me realize I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t stay here and pretend everything was peachy. I couldn’t spend the night with him on this sofa while wanting to climb him like a tree. And I sure as hell couldn't be his friend.
I stood up, running my fingers through my hair, as he stood up too, almost as if he expected my blowout.
“I appreciate the friendship offer, Carter, but I’ll have to regretfully decline,” I said, trying to think when all I could do was feel. “I don’t want you to pat me on the back while we’re watching a football game in a local pub. I don’t want you to fist-bump me after a job well done. I don’t want us to hang out like fucking mates over beer and chips, not that any of it is wrong. Do you know why? Because I’m sexually attracted to you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want your dick six ways to Sunday, and I’m being polite about it. If you knew the things I want to do to your body, Carter, you would pull a gun on me. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
He raised his hand and looked at his cuticles, seemingly bored.
“Are you done yapping?”
I blinked in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? That’s all you have to say to me?”
“Kinda,” he mused. “I will also add that I prefer basketball to football. I don’t fist-bump anyone unless I’m working undercover. I like beer, but not chips. And also…” He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “I’m not only a dirty talker, but I also like a rough fuck. Do you like a rough fuck, Viking?”
Was he for real?
“You have ten seconds to rethink this line of inquiry, Carter,” I threatened, hoping he would back off. “If you don’t, I will kiss the shit out of you, I swear to God.”
There. Now let’s see who’s bluffing.
He smirked. “Oh, will you fucking dare, Tye? Because it seems to me you spent all your bravado earlier, telling me what a chickenshit I was.”
And then we kissed.
We fucking kissed.
I didn’t know who kissed whom first, not that it mattered.
We were like two boxers punching each other at the same time.
Two pythons eating each other simultaneously.
Two lions, giving and receiving blows at the same time.
As if in everything else, we just fucking clicked.
We ended up on that sofa, too.
How? No clue.
One moment, we were ruining each other’s lapels and mashing lips together; the next, I was lying on top of him between his wide-spread legs.
I wanted to stop kissing him to do something more, but I couldn’t let go of his lips.
Undressing him crossed my mind, but that would require me to let go of his hands.
And I wanted to stop this mindless dry humping, but when my dick nestled against his thigh, it refused to leave.
It refused to stop, too, because it kept grinding against him until the front of my briefs was soaked.
I wanted to show him how good we could be together, how good we could fuck. I wanted to show him everything, but I was too dizzy, too crazed, too desperate. Only when our hard dicks grazed did he tear his lips away from mine, panting.
“Fuck, Tye!”
I dragged my gaze to his jungle greens that were glazed over, unfocused.
Take it easy. He’s new to this.
“How far are we taking this?” I muttered, trying to think, while all I wanted to do was fuck.
He blinked. “What?”
“Do you want to fuck? Make out? How far…” I shook my head because I was rambling. “How far are we…?”
God, I could barely speak.
There were so many things we could do, and each thing that crossed my mind made my balls ache.
He grinned. “That’s easy. You’ll be my guinea pig, Tye.”
You can use me like a guinea pig or something.
I remembered my words just as he rolled me on my back and climbed on top of me. When he started to unbutton my shirt, I blinked in confusion, unable to process the simple activity.
“I would love to be your guinea pig, Dominic,” I said, watching his fingers move from button to button, feeling as if I were on drugs. “But I’m not sure if my self-control—”
When he lowered his head and licked my nipple, I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes tight. And when he buried his face in my chest, I covered my face with my arm, wondering how long I would be able to take it.
Not fucking long.
“This scent of yours,” he murmured, breathing me in. “What the fuck is it?”
I wanted to ask him what the hell he was talking about, but my mind was gone. He kept inhaling me, moving his nose from my chest to my armpit to my neck, making me wonder if he too lost his mind. Then he started to lick me. First, he licked my jaw, mumbling a surprised, “Oh. A stubble.” Then he licked my neck, then the hollow in my throat, then the inner side of my forearm. When his lips found the trail of hair below my belly button, he chuckled.
“I never kissed a hairy belly before.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” I said through my teeth, hissing when he bit into my hipbone. “Ah, fuck. Cart… stop… just fucking stop.”
When he cupped my erection, I cursed all the saints and flipped him on his back, panting.
“Jesus God, no,” I muttered, closing my eyes in concentration. “Just wait a second.”
“Why? What did I do?”
I smiled, but it hurt to smile. “I’m going to come, Dominic. That’s why.”
He grinned. “Already?”
I kissed the fucker to shut him up and then tore his shirt down the fucking middle because I was done playing.
“Naked,” I hissed. “I need you fucking naked. Then we’ll see who’s coming first.”
“Not me, Viking,” he murmured against my mouth, making me just… vindictive.
“I’m going to fuck you into this ?ldvalen if I have to, but you’re coming first,” I bit out, grinding my dick against his. No restraint this time. The bastard was pushing my buttons, and I was pushing back. Hard. Rough. Fast. His moans turned so loud I clamped a hand over his mouth, and when it didn’t help, I shoved my fingers between his lips. My own moans reached me, but I didn’t have a free hand to shut myself up, so I buried my face into his neck, gasping, gulping, cursing.
Too loud. We were too fucking loud.
I bit into his shoulder, hoping to stop myself, but it was too late. I spilled into my pants with a ragged groan, just as his hips bucked and he cried out. I felt wetness spreading over his crotch when he came, thrashing beneath me.
Fuck. Shit. No.
“I’m s-sorry,” I breathed, hissing when another weak spurt left my dick. “F-fuck… I didn’t mean for things to go this far… Ca-Carter… Are you okay?”
I looked into his jungle greens, searching for panic there, when he gripped my face and slammed his lips on mine.
“The fuck did you do to me?” he murmured, mashing our lips together.
Oh, God, the relief.
I didn’t fuck it up. Thank you, God.
“Why didn’t you tell me this is how it feels?” he said accusingly, breaking the kiss abruptly.
How to even explain it without sounding like a fool in love?
“Because it’s not always like this.”
He frowned in confusion. “No?”
I shook my head and kissed his lips. “No.”
Okay, now shut up before you say something you’ll regret.
“I’ll get us some wet wipes from the bathroom,” I said, wondering if my legs would carry me there. “Then we’re doing this again.”
I forced myself to leave him, fighting off a deathly fear that he wouldn’t be there when I came back. I stumbled into the bathroom and used the wet wipes to quickly clean up. My dick was hard again because… why not torture me some more? After I returned to the living room in record time, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him lying on the sofa. When he heard me enter, he propped himself on his elbows, looking sleepy.
“I’m hard again,” he said, sounding baffled.
I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m hard, too,” I said and kissed him. “Now… First, I’m going to lick your cum off you, Dominic. Then I’m going to give you a blowjob. Don’t freak out. Are you going to freak out?”
He frowned. “What? Of course not! But I want your dick in my mouth, too. Let’s sixty-nine.”
His proposal made my head spin, and my dick throb because… damn. How could he just drop this bomb on me? Let’s be friends. Let’s sixty-nine. All in the span of an… hour? Kudos to me, yeah. But also no. Bad idea.
“Not this time, cher,” I murmured, pushing him down on his back. “We wouldn’t last a minute.”
When I licked a drop of cum off his belly, my vision swam because he tasted fucking delicious. I yanked his pants down his hips while at the same time slurping the cum out of his belly button. My mouth watered at the sight of a massive bulge in his boxers when I suddenly heard a sound coming from a near distance. I froze on the spot, only to find the jungle greens staring at me, filled with panic.
“Sorry,” Shelly whined from somewhere behind us. “I’m so, so sorry. But I need to pee. And vomit. And the bathroom is over there.”
Carter pushed me off him so abruptly I almost fell to the floor. He swiftly pulled up his pants as I started to button up my shirt with fingers that wouldn’t cooperate.
“I’m not looking,” Shelly whispered, passing by us with her hand covering her eyes. “I swear I’m not.”
When she bumped into the coffee table, I threw the wet wipes at Carter and jumped to my feet. I hurried toward her, just as Carter pulled a blanket over his head, whining.
“Let me help you, sweetheart,” I said, leading her into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sick.”
“Are you going to throw up?”
“Mm-hmm.”
When she got on her knees in front of the toilet bowl, I held her hair, waiting until she emptied her stomach. I mumbled soothing nonsense to her as she heaved and coughed. When she was done, she rested her arms on the toilet seat, sobbing softly.
“I lost her,” she kept repeating. “I lost her. I lost her. I lost her. My poor baby. My poor baby.”
I have seen tragedies unfolding. I have seen tragedies in the making. But to see Shelly slumped on that floor, looking defeated and hopeless, and so damn guilty... It was pure heartbreak.
“Shh,” I shushed her, helping her up. “You’re going to get your daughter back. Come on. You know this.”
She sniffled, looking at me as if I could make it happen. “You think?”
I nodded, turning on the tap. “Hell, yeah. Now, let’s wash your face.”
“Okay,” she muttered, wiping away the remains of vomit from her chin. “By the way, I'm sorry for cockblocking you.”
I laughed and pushed her head under the stream of water. “No, you’re not.”
After I put her to bed, I stayed with her until she fell asleep. When her breathing slowed down, I returned to the living room, only to find Carter asleep on the sofa. His pants and shirt were thrown over a chair, and he pulled a blanket over him as if he were cold. After I closed the window and took off my clothes, I lay down next to him. Almost immediately, he turned toward me as I raised my arm so he could lay his head in the crook of my neck.
“Is Shel okay?” he murmured, snuggling against me.
I kissed his forehead. “She will be.”
He murmured something unintelligible, and his movements stilled. His breathing slowed down, but in my chest, my heart was swelling under the surge of emotions. I was swollen elsewhere too, but it didn’t matter because he was in my arms.
Stop. It doesn’t mean anything.
I smiled, nonetheless.
Maybe. But tonight, he’s mine.