Chapter 9 PSYWAR #2
Blake suddenly remembered why he normally kept his mouth shut.
It was easier than trying to explain the little mannerisms and triggers he picked up.
How was he supposed to casually explain that the way Gabriel walked, his slightly different uniform, and the subtle way he stood taller whenever someone older walked into the room gave him away?
“I guessed.”
“Bullshit,” Gabriel said, stepping closer.
Blake craned his head and forced himself to look up into Gabriel’s eyes. They were hard to find under the brim of his helmet. Harder to look at when he realized they changed color, flecks of green and gold shifting as the light faded.
“I’ve met guys in psyops who couldn’t do that.”
“Psyops is pretty intense, right?” Blake asked, trying to divert the conversation.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him, but he allowed the diversion, turning to continue down the street. Blake had to hustle to keep up with his long strides.
“I mean, in Starship Troopers, they were working with mind control and stuff.”
Gabriel huffed. “This isn’t Starship Troopers.”
Blake gestured to the desolate street around them. “Are you sure?”
That had the soldier laughing, and it felt good. Like maybe there was a real person under the plate carrier and helmet, one who had seen cult favorite sci-fi movies and understood his references.
“Still didn’t tell me about your parents,” Blake nudged as they circled around a crater in the middle of the street. Half a Buick was sticking out of it.
“Tell you what,” Gabriel began, checking his watch. “You tell me how you knew all that about me, and I’ll tell you all about Craig and Linda Lennox.”
“Would you believe I’m psychic?”
“No.” Gabriel’s teeth flashed as he smiled. “You’re not that interesting.”
Blake snorted. “You don’t know it, but that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Which, in retrospect, might be a little sad. But Blake was trying to balance between introspection and not losing his goddamn mind, so he wasn’t going to analyze it. “I notice things. A lot of things.”
“Things told you I joined the military right out of high school against my parent’s wishes?”
“No. They…it’s not like I’m reading a book about you. It’s not a special power. I just pick up on body language and stuff. Notice behaviors. I can’t turn it off.”
Gabriel side-eyed him. “Why would you want to?”
“Because it’s weird.” Blake pushed some of his hair out of his face. “And exhausting.”
Gabriel didn’t say anything for a long time, and Blake was afraid that meant he agreed.
He wasn’t sure why that was a bad thing.
He just met the man a few hours ago, but there was something honest in Gabriel.
Something comforting. Like he was an open book for the world, so it didn’t matter what Blake picked up on. He’d tell him if he asked.
“My mom stayed at home, and my dad worked in IT. After my sister was born, they were told they couldn’t have any more kids.
Fifteen years later, I was born. They always pushed a good education.
My sister has a doctorate and a master’s.
” He smiled softly. “Imagine their horror when I showed up with a crew cut and some enlistment papers.”
“Are you close now?”
“As close as we can be when I can’t tell them where I’m going, what I’m doing, or when I’ll be home. They hated the military life, so it was easier for them not to know. Easier for me, too.”
Blake couldn’t exactly relate, but he understood.
It all seemed so silly now, as he stepped over broken bits of building and pretended the red sticky stuff on his boots was paint.
He couldn’t remember the last thing he said to his mom and dad, probably nothing.
Just surface level stuff. Why? Because he was petty and angry, and they didn’t try to understand him. The same could be said for him.
They’d been loving, maybe not in the way he saw on TV or in books, but in their own way. In a quiet way, they always made sure he had new books to read, or never said anything when he preferred to stay in his room rather than come out during family holidays.
Tears burned at the back of his eyes, and he clutched the backpack straps to do something with his hands. Anything to keep from crying right now. He didn’t have time for that.
It’s never your turn.
Pushing all thoughts of regret from his mind, he focused on following Gabriel. On watching the pull of his uniform over his shoulders and the silent, confident way in which he navigated the streets.
Darkness fell just as a thin drizzle of rain began.
Blake looked up at the sky, squinting against the slick droplets.
It wasn’t a proper downpour. It was almost like the rain was hovering—striking the atmosphere and getting hit with the pause button.
Eyelashes clinging to the wet, Blake tried not to shiver.
Gabriel had been silent for the last thirty minutes. Blake figured he didn’t like being out in the open. Which made sense. They hadn’t seen an alien in over an hour, but the tension was palpable. It hovered between them like another person.
Blake wasn’t ashamed to admit that he stood closer to the soldier as darkness fell. The hissing of rain on fires wasn’t even enough to make him relax. He thought he would be happy to see the embers glowing dark, but he realized that with the rain came the darkness. And cold.
It wouldn’t be a trifecta without cold, dark, and scared.
Just as he opened his mouth to suggest finding someplace dry, Gabriel stiffened.
In the distance he could hear the signature clicking that came with the drone aliens.
At least, Gabriel had called it a drone.
Blake thought it was better than calling it the ‘Sphere of Impending Fucking Doom’, so he went with it.
Through the wet he spotted a potential shelter.
Grabbing Gabriel’s elbow, he pointed to a pile of rubble at the edge of an abandoned construction site.
Gabriel took his hand and dragged him over loose rebar and piles of sand until they got to a huge dump truck.
Falling to his knees, Gabriel slipped under with Blake not far behind.
They wriggled until their backs were pressed against the large dual tires. Rain pattered on the metal above their heads. Blake couldn’t sit up straight, having to squish down in a way that would no doubt have his back screaming. He couldn’t imagine how the taller Gabriel was handling it.
“How far?” Gabriel asked, his voice a little terser than it had been before.
“Um,” Blake tried to get his bearings. “A couple of miles as the crow flies.”
But there were demolished buildings and craters in the road. He thought that went without saying.
Gabriel nodded, his shoulders high enough to touch his ears. He was uncomfortable with waiting. And probably even more so alone. Blake wasn’t very familiar with soldiers, but he was almost positive they were usually pack animals.
To be fair, he’d seen Phin’s biceps. He would feel more comfortable with him here, too.
His legs ached. Nerves buzzing as blood flow began recirculating around his tired limbs. He didn’t think he was unfit, but he was definitely not hitting the gym with any regularity. Sighing, he leaned back against the tire and tried to relax.
It was quiet under the truck. He knew it was stupid, but being under the big piece of equipment gave him a chance to breathe. Akin to a little kid hiding under a blanket to keep the monsters away, he finally took stock of himself.
His clothes were disgusting. He barely recognized his dark blue uniform.
Wet and filthy, it clung to his skin in a way that guaranteed he would be cold all night.
He knew he should be grateful they weren’t in the dead of winter, but he couldn’t feel much of anything beyond the exhaustion.
It went further than the physical. He was tired.
Not just of walking but of thinking. Of being afraid.
Of processing horrors he thought only existed in the pixels of a video game, or the flashing scenes of a movie screen.
“If you could be anywhere else, where would you be?” Gabriel’s voice was hushed, but it sounded too loud. Like the first thunderclap of a storm. It made the hairs on the back of Blake’s neck stand on end.
When he finally looked over, he could see the soldier watching him out of the corner of his eye.
His gun was resting across his lap. Even inert, it looked scary.
All hard edges and connotations now lay only a few inches from Blake, yet in the span of a few hours, he’d grown comfortable with the weapon. Even fond.
Head rolling on the tire, he looked away from the gun and up at Gabriel. “Somewhere warm,” he finally answered. “With tacos.”
Gabriel chuckled, low and deep. His shoulders started to relax a little. Blake took that as permission to ask, “What about you?”
“Tacos sound good,” Gabriel agreed. “But I don’t mind the cold. I’d spend all my time in the north. Maybe a nice cabin on a mountain. Something with a view.”
“And tacos.”
Gabriel smiled. “And tacos.”
Blake couldn’t disagree. Someplace isolated would be nice. A place he could rest his head and his mind. Maybe read a book on the front porch without worrying about your neighbor shouting about the garbage cans left on the curb. He crossed his arms, tucking his hands in his armpits.
“What about queso?” Gabriel prodded.
“We’d have to have queso,” Blake scoffed. “What kind of place has tacos but no queso?”
“What kind of cheese?” he asked, his voice still low and gruff. It sounded like what Blake imagined a chunk of granite slipping off a mountain ledge would, rumbly and echoing across the space between two mountain peaks.
God, he was tired.
Before he could answer, Gabriel reached over and snagged him by his belt. With little effort, he tugged Blake so close the entire line of his body was plastered against Gabriel’s. He was so warm and firm. Alive. Blake didn’t realize how much he needed that touch out here in the dark and wet.
He pulled something out of his pocket and began fiddling with it. Blake thought it was the crochet hook again.
“The cheese?” Gabriel prodded, sounding a little too smug for Blake’s liking.
“White. With chopped bell peppers, tomatoes, and ground beef. The top doesn’t even get all glommy as it cools.”
Gabriel made a face. “Glommy? That’s not a word.”
“And yet it perfectly conveys exactly what I meant,” he focused on the warmth from Gabriel’s shoulder. “And the chips are homemade.”
“Lightly salted?”
“Of course they’re lightly salted, what do you take me for?”
Gabriel bent his knee, letting his wrist hang over it limply. He pursed his lips before looking over at Blake. “I have no idea.” His voice trailed off. “Maybe I’ll find out?”
His eyes drooped as he fought the fading remnants of his energy. He tried to rally. To say something quippy or ask Gabriel to tell him more about the cabin in the mountains. But exhaustion won as he finally drifted forward, his head landing on Gabriel’s shoulder as he passed out.