2. Harrison
TWO
Harrison
Some obligatory vacation was the exact opposite of what I needed right now.
“I’m not going to do this,” I whispered to Oliver, who was seated to my right.
“Uh, yeah, you are.” Although he said it with a smile, his eyes didn’t crinkle and the tendon in his neck flexed. A sure sign the smile was forced, and a warning that he wasn’t messing around. To everyone else, Oliver might seem like he’d never had a bad day in his life, but I knew how to spot his subtle signs of exasperation. After all, I was typically the reason behind them.
Plates of food were passed and silver cutlery clinked against the serving plates, thick white ones with pastel flowers on them. They were hideous, if you asked me. And too expensive to be holding the Mexican takeout I knew Charlie had picked up from the family-owned restaurant down the street. When had we become too good for plastic plates? It was a backyard party for Christ’s sake, not a Michelin-star restaurant.
Nathan, Oliver, and I had grown up in the same lower middle-class neighborhood—well, we had until my dad got laid off and my family had to post up in a motel for a while. But as much as I would have loved to sit and stew in my bitter thoughts about how money could change a person, I knew Nathan wasn’t like that. He’d always been relatively the same person, and he certainly didn’t give a shit about impressing anyone. Don’t get me wrong, the guy had a sick car and a nice house, but he wasn’t flashy.
“What if I just back out at the last second?” I asked, spooning some rice onto my plate. “I could say something came up at the shop.”
“I swear to God, you better be there,” Oliver said ominously, still through a smile. His commitment to the bit of being the most positive guy in the room always made me want to push his buttons. Usually it didn’t work, but he hated when I tried to bail on things. “We’re family, and you’re not bailing on Nathan.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned to my left to try and get under the skin of the person seated on my other side. At least with Lila it worked. That’s what made it fun.
“A joint bachelor and bachelorette party? That’s not weird at all,” I said to her in a low voice.
Her spine stiffened as she jerked her eyes toward mine. The dress she wore was cut low on her chest, and I had to fight to keep my gaze from falling to that soft skin that looked just a little too inviting.
“It’s not that uncommon.” Her words were clipped. A warning to me to drop the subject immediately. Unfortunately for her, that just fueled my fire.
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“Oh, because you’re just being invited to bachelor parties left and right? Remind me again how many friends you have, outside of Oliver.”
“Hey, Nathan and I are close,” I pointed out with a hint of sarcasm. While it wasn’t entirely the truth, Nathan and I had arrived at some sort of relationship after years of stalemate. Oliver was where my loyalty lay, but Nathan was like family too.
“Then why are you being a jerk about it?” She huffed out a sigh and set her fork down next to her plate. “Besides, can you really picture Nathan, of all people, having a bachelor party?”
“Shots, strip club, and all,” I said, carefully picking the words that would bother her the most. “Don’t let the stiff demeanor fool you. Nathan’s a total party animal.”
Her nose crinkled with disgust. “Gross,” she mumbled before trying to turn away from me.
“At least we’ll get to finally spend more time together,” I continued, unable to help myself. Her green doe eyes always flared up when she was mad. It was almost imperceptible, but after a year of exchanging jabs I could now spot it every time. I was addicted to it.
“You’d be so lucky to go on a trip with me. I actually know how to have a good time.”
“Is that what all your dates say?” I asked, poking her in a known sensitive spot. She was always going on one online date or another, despite never seeming to have success with any of them.
Instead of answering with a venomous retort, Lila moved back an inch as if slapped and her whole face went pale.
Fuck. I had pushed her too far. Something I frequently did. She brought her right elbow to the table and rested her rosy cheek in her hand, so that she was turned completely away from me. She and Charlie started talking in hushed tones, and I knew anything I said to her now would be met with an attempt to ignore me.
Pushing someone too far was my specialty.
I was rough with everyone; it was just the way I carried myself. Growing up, I’d had the misfortune of being the small, slightly introverted kid who would rather pore over a comic book than get dragged into whatever sport or game all the other kids were playing. Didn’t exactly win me any popularity contests at school. It also didn’t help that my family was piss-poor, on top of it all. Oliver was the only person to ever give a shit about me. So this carefully crafted guard I kept around myself had been built for a while. People like Lila were just casualties of my defenses.
Since I had already aggravated the two people seated on either side of me, I moved on to Nathan, who sat at the head of the table, watching Charlie but not participating in the conversation.
“I’m surprised you’re having an engagement party at all. It doesn’t really seem like your thing,” I said, leaning forward so he could hear me.
Nathan met my eyes before looking at Charlie again.
“It’s for Charlie. It’s important to her.”
“Why wouldn’t we use every excuse to celebrate?” Charlie pulled herself out of her conversation with Lila to chime in.
“And you just let her run your life?” I asked, not intending to come across as an asshole. But, judging from Oliver’s sharp elbow digging into my side and the dirty look Lila shot me, I probably had.
Nathan didn’t look offended. He just shrugged and said, “Basically.”
Charlie beamed up at him and shook her head slightly. “Please, you’re insanely stubborn.”
“I think you’re thinking of you.”
They continued to banter back and forth. Even though they were just talking, it felt like I was eavesdropping on some intimate moment, so I turned away.
I guess, theoretically, Nathan had a point. There were probably worse things in life than letting a beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed woman take control. Personally, it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t even fathom what that would be like. A serious relationship that lasted more than a couple of months had never found me—or, more accurately, I guess I had never sought one out. As far as I was concerned, you could pry my independence out of my cold, dead hands.
“Did you two have a big wedding?” Oliver asked Ben and Skylar.
Ben shrugged. “Just over a hundred people. It was back when we were still in San Diego, so we did it at a venue right on the water.”
“It was perfect,” Skylar added.
“That sounds amazing,” Lila said next to me, her voice far away, as if she were drifting in and out of a daydream.
“I thought the whole wedding thing was stupid, to tell you the truth. But it turned out to be a fucking blast. It was one of the best days of my life.” Ben lifted the fork he was holding to point at Nathan. “Nathan was there. Although I’m pretty sure he managed to dip out before the reception even got started.”
Nathan shrugged. “I saw the ceremony. I left a card. What more was there to do?”
Ben’s head shook with laughter. “So heartfelt. Damn, this guy never changes. I hope you aren’t writing your own vows.”
Oliver tilted his head back and laughed. “Could you even imagine? No way Charlie puts him through that.”
“I don’t know. I’d kind of like to see what he’d come up with,” Charlie teased.
“We’re just doing something small,” Nathan insisted. “We talked about just eloping.”
“If I’m not there, I’ll hold a grudge until the day I die,” Oliver said. “And Mom will hold one even longer than that.”
Nathan glared at his brother. “Good thing she still has you to throw a big spectacle of a celebration.”
Oliver rubbed his hands together. “Oh, you better believe it’ll be a spectacle whenever I get married. I’m thinking at least three hundred guests. We’ll do it somewhere in the mountains with a sick-ass view. Maybe I’ll even parachute into the ceremony. Or snowboard in, if it’s in the winter.”
I snorted. “Parachuting and snowboarding? Might be kind of tough when you’re finally ready to settle down at sixty.”
That got a laugh out of the rest of the table, but most noticeably from Lila. Her laugh was almost sickeningly sweet and contagious, the kind that drew you in and made you want to be a part of the joke. Usually, her laughter was something I only experienced at a distance.
“He’s got you there, Ollie,” she said.
“Hey! I could meet the right girl tomorrow. You never know.”
Oliver was a huge flirt. He liked women, and certainly saw enough of them, but he’d never been serious about anyone in his entire life. He had—what did they call it—Peter Pan syndrome. He was like a kid trapped in a twenty-seven-year old’s body. I highly doubted he’d be walking down the aisle in the next decade.
Lila and I shared a knowing look, maybe the first one in our entire relationship. I tore my eyes away quickly and threw my hackles back up.
“What about you, Harrison?” Ben asked.
“What about me?” I asked gruffly.
“Do you want a big wedding?”
“Doubt I’ll ever get married.” Marriage was something I had given absolutely zero thought to. My parents had been happily married for thirty years, so I had no reason to be outright against it, but I couldn’t fathom ever meeting a girl who would make me want to commit to her like that. The guard I had built around myself was an impenetrable fortress. The only person I had ever really let past it was Oliver, and that was only because he’d gotten through when I was six and I’d only had a few crumbling bricks up at the time.
“You’ll be alone forever if you only keep dating those scary women you’re always bringing around.” Oliver shuddered.
“What can I say? I have a type.” I took another slow pull of my beer, smirking at the thought.
I knew exactly what kind of woman my demeanor attracted—intense, daring, the kind not easily scared off. I wore my standoffish look like armor, and the ones who braved it were often just as inked and no-nonsense as I was. They were the type who liked a challenge. The type who just threw me a simple “fuck you” when it inevitably didn’t work out, instead of writing me a sonnet about how heartbroken they were.
They weren’t soft. Unlike the red-headed cinnamon roll currently seated to my left.
“Well, your type is terrifying. You should find yourself a nice girl. Preferably one who doesn’t attempt to vandalize my house when you don’t call them back.” Oliver got up to retrieve another bottle of wine for the group, stopping by Lila’s chair in the process. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and leaned down so he could press the side of his face against hers. “Someone like this little ray of sunshine.”
“Shut up,” she whispered, but a smile remained plastered to her face.
A small fire lit in my chest watching them so at ease with each other. It was a feeling that had become more and more frequent as I watched them interact, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint the underlying motive. Was I jealous that my best friend was getting closer to someone else? Or was I just irritated that she was around?
As if she could read my thoughts, Lila’s gaze flitted to mine before I quickly dropped it.
Wherever the feeling of frustration was coming from, I just ignored it like I always did.
“You know, you two really should talk.” Oliver pointed between Lila and me. “Harrison here is having some website issues. He could really use your help.”
“What kind of issues?” Nathan and Ben both looked up.
“It’s nothing.” I flashed a warning look at Oliver, urging him to drop it. The last thing I wanted to do was discuss my business issues in front of a table full of start-up-crazy tech fanatics. The tattoo shop I’d owned for the past three years had been experiencing a bit of a downswing the past few months, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. And it certainly wasn’t something I was going to go begging for help with.
“More of a branding thing,” Oliver continued, clearly not oblivious to my irritation, but choosing to ignore it all the same. “He’s trying to make it more user-friendly or some shit.”
“Branding.” Interest painted Lila’s face at the word.
“It’s nothing,” I repeated, this time more sternly.
“I could take a look if you want,” Lila offered.
“Lila, are you serious? You’re so busy right now.” Concern filled Charlie’s voice as she eyed her best friend.
“I’m not that busy,” Lila said defensively.
“Where are you hosting?” Nathan asked.
“You own a tattoo parlor, right? What’s your current demo like?” Ben pressed.
“Like you know anything about tattoo parlors.” Skylar snorted with laughter.
Heat rose to my face as chatter about websites and branding flew from all sides of the table.
“Can we just drop this,” I said loudly, unable to keep my cool.
Silence fell over the group. One fork hit the table and the sound reverberated around the whole yard.
Oliver, finally taking the fucking hint, backed away from Lila and resumed scanning the bar. “Should I open a white or a red?”
Grateful for the distraction, everyone resumed their mindless chatter and I sat there, still stewing. Weakness wasn’t something I took lightly, and Oliver parading my problems around for everyone to see infuriated the hell out of me. But when he sat back down and poured more wine in my glass first, offering me an apologetic half-smile, I knew I’d already forgiven him.
Because when push came to shove, I couldn’t alienate him for meddling in my life when he was the only person who cared enough to even try. A consequence I had brought upon myself, but a consequence I still felt the weight of, nonetheless.
“I really could help,” a small whisper floated up to my ears. “If you wanted, that is.”
Lila’s cheeks reddened when I glanced down at her, but she forced herself to keep eye contact. God, why did she have to be so nice all the damn time? Made it a lot harder on me to keep this divide up between us when it was so painfully obvious that all she wanted was my acceptance.
“I’m good.” Keeping my tone curt, I resumed staring straight ahead.
“Can we get back to discussing this all-expenses-paid trip you’re apparently taking us all on?” Oliver asked.
Great. Just what I needed.