23. Lila
TWENTY-THREE
Lila
The packed streets had cleared out a bit since we’d first arrived in town, as hordes of tourists shuffled back to the port to rejoin their cruise ship.
Bailey, Paige, and Kate had gone a little while ago to catch their ferry. They hadn’t wanted to leave me, but had prebooked earlier tickets back to Santorini for a dinner reservation they’d made for tonight. I had thought about going with them; at least that way I could try to track down my phone back at the hotel. But in the end, I couldn’t stomach leaving without knowing where the hell Harrison was. And if you get separated from someone and can’t communicate, the best spot to wait for them is the spot in which you last planned to meet, right? I wasn’t sure, but the logic made sense to me.
My worry had grown immensely in the past few hours, but I wouldn’t allow myself to turn into a blubbering mess. I refused to collapse into full-on panic until I was back at our hotel in Santorini and he wasn’t there. But I wouldn’t even allow myself to think of the possibility.
My eyes started to blur as I looked in yet another shop window. I had been dying to shop when we’d arrived this morning, but now nothing could ease my wandering mind.
If I just had my stupid phone, none of this would be happening.
“Lila!”
My heart sprang into my throat and I almost cried at the sight of Harrison running toward me. I took a few steps toward him, and he dodged a few passing tourists before colliding with me. He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me tightly to his chest. The hug might have taken me by surprise if I wasn’t so relieved to see him. I nestled into his T-shirt and breathed him in. When he rested his chin on my head, all of my tension and fear melted away.
“Are you alright?” he asked, not loosening his grip on me.
“Are you kidding?” I wanted to laugh. “Are you alright? What happened? I've been freaking out thinking about you lying in a ditch somewhere.”
He brushed his hand along the back of my hair.
“It’s a long story.” He sighed and pulled back. His eyes searched mine, and my stomach dipped as if I were in some sort of free fall. The look in his eyes felt new.
Before I could question him further, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “Can you do me a favor and just hold onto this until you have yours back?”
I smiled. “I don’t need?—”
“Please,” he begged. “For my own sanity. Then at least I have a way of reaching you.”
I took it from his hands and smiled. “Okay. If it’ll make you feel better.”
“It will,” he said, not breaking eye contact.
He ran a hand along his jaw and looked me up and down, as if searching to make sure every hair on my head was in the correct spot.
“So? What happened?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed. “Nigel and his asshat friends happened.”
I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. Instead, he reached up and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. My breath caught in my throat. He was acting strange, almost nervous.
“Those idiots dragged us halfway across the island. I’ll tell you everything, but first, can we finally talk about last night?”
My lips parted in surprise.
“Last night? What? You want to talk about last night after we’ve just been separated for hours by some mysterious event you haven’t shared the details of?”
“Lila,” he said, sternly yet gently. “All I’ve wanted to do is talk about last night since the moment it happened.”
“But—” I started to protest, but snapped my mouth shut when I saw his look of fierce determination.
“Lila,” he said my name again slowly, with care.
“Harrison,” I said, my knees feeling like they could buckle at any moment.
He reached up and traced his fingertips lightly along my chin. I took a shaky breath. He pulled his hand away and raked it through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Fuck, I’m bad at this.” He let out a breath as I held mine, waiting for him to continue.
While I mentally prepared myself for rejection, his intense resolve told me something else was happening here.
“I lied last night. Or maybe lied isn’t the right word. I think I thought what I was saying was the truth, but it wasn’t.”
My eyebrows pinched together.
“I’m so confused.”
He let out a frustrated laugh. “Shit, sorry. I suck at this.”
Harrison lifted his hand like he was going to touch my face again, but stuffed it in his pocket instead.
“Maybe...Maybe I’m not worried about you wanting more. Maybe I’m worried that I do,” he said.
My heart slammed against my chest.
“This is hard,” he muttered, which made me let out a nervous laugh.
“Look, I’ve never let anyone in like this. I don’t know what to do, or where this could go. But what I am certain of is that I don’t want it to stop.” He stared at me intently.
“Then why did you stop it last night?” I questioned.
“Because I’m scared,” he whispered. “I know that’s so fucking lame, but there it is. You’re a hell of a lot more to me than some vacation fling, and that fact alone is terrifying. I don’t even know what letting someone in like that looks like. And I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t want to hurt you. That scares me too, because there’s no possible way I’m the right guy for you.” He paused and searched my face. “But I don’t really care. Because if there's even a shred of you that wants this—wants me—then I'll happily take whatever you’ll give.”
A smile spread across my face. My nerves were still present, but the twisting feeling now felt more like butterflies than nausea. This was everything I’d always hoped he’d say, and had never in a million years expected to hear.
“Are you going to say anything, or just leave me hanging?” he asked, an unmistakable note of concern in his voice.
“I got to you.” I grinned and poked his chest. I nearly gasped when he captured my hand with his own and crushed me against him.
“You got me,” he breathed.
He dipped his head and kissed me, slow and firm. One hand came up to cradle my face while the other gripped my side, holding me close.
After a moment, he broke away. A rare smile crept onto his lips. I beamed, knowing I’d put it there.
“Today sucked,” he said, which made us both break into a laugh.
“Well, it isn’t over yet,” I pointed out.
“True,” he said, tangling my hair in his fingers. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d ever describe a look from Harrison as adoring, but that’s exactly what it was.
“Want to go shopping with me?” I asked, batting my eyes innocently up at him.
He pressed his lips to mine again immediately, spreading heat through my entire body.
“Lead the way,” he said. I took a chance and threaded my fingers through his. He let me, and even squeezed my hand.
As we weaved between the whitewashed buildings, I savored the way his hand felt in mine. I didn’t care that we hadn’t really decided anything, or that we only had one more day. Soon we’d have to face reality—and our friends. I didn't know what this meant or what we were, but this moment felt too right to worry about any of it.
“So,” I said as I stopped at the nearest gift shop. “What happened to the rest of the guys?”
Exhaustion tightened his features.
“I dropped them off at an emergency clinic, like, twenty minutes from here.”
I turned to him, raising a brow.
“Okay, now you’re going to need to tell me the whole story.”